Feb. 22, 2012, 5:39 a.m.
Because I Could Not Stop For Death: Chapter 1
E - Words: 2,343 - Last Updated: Feb 22, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 12/? - Created: Oct 30, 2011 - Updated: Feb 22, 2012 802 0 3 0 0
Chapter 1: Doctor, Doctor
AN: Hi everyone! Welcome to my story. This story will contain drug abuse, drug withdrawal and everything that comes along with that. Doctor!Blaine and drug addict/artist!Kurt. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, I would have given you guys Klaine sex already!
A small boy shifted slightly. Despite the warm temperature in the room, he felt cold. So cold and numb. Like he had a wet, heavy blanket over him, forcing him to lay down. He couldn't feel his fingers or his toes. His body felt distant, like it belonged to someone else. Even though his eyelids were nailed shut, he could feel the sharp light on the ceiling through them.
Little by little, the small boy's hearing returned, and he was surprised to recognise the voice of his brother, Finn. Puzzled by where he was and what his brother was doing here, he tried to concentrate on their conversation.
A second voice joined Finn's.
"He should be fine in a few hours", a sweet and soothing male voice said. Kurt thought it sounded like honey impersonated.
"That long, doctor?", Finn exclaimed impatiently.
Kurt drew the conclusion that he was in a hospital and the man with the silky voice was indeed a doctor.
"His body has had a rough day, with the overdose and the cleansing", the doctor replied.
Suddenly Kurt tensed. He realised that he had OD'ed. And Finn was there. He was in a hospital because he overdosed. Shit. Finn was going to kill me, Kurt thought. How was he supposed to explain his way out of this?
"I'm still keeping him sedated", the doctor informed and injected a new fluid in Kurt's IV.
Suddenly the world felt so heavy and Kurt's already closed eyelids felt like lead. He finally gave in to the drowsy feeling and fell asleep.
It was such a shame, thought Dr. Anderson. Seeing this beautiful boy spread on a bed looking so helpless and vulnerable. A huge part of being a doctor is to see people broken and sick. Sometimes he saw young lives being snatched away from brittle fingers, and sometimes he saw lives being thrown away by young people. Like drunken driving. But part of being a doctor also means that you don't get to have an opinion on stuff like this. You just do your job. That's what Blaine Anderson told himself when he found himself getting attached to his patients. He was here to do his job. Not that he was getting attached to Kurt, he merely hated to see the unknown, young man so helpless.
But the best part of being a doctor was to be able to help the patients that were within help's reach. To be able to see them be healthy and smile again. And that was why he decided to become a doctor. That, and his father's constant pressure. But, it was a decision he never regretted.
Kurt Hummel seamed to be slowly regaining conscience, and the moment the small boy twitched, his brother Finn Hudson was on his feet.
"Is he alright?", he enquired without removing his eyes from Kurt.
Blaine smiled reassuringly.
"He'll be fine. He might be in some pain, but he'll be fine. I want to keep him here for at least a day more so that I can run tests, though"
Kurt opened his eyes slowly and the doctor hurried to his side with a small flashlight in my hand. After getting over the initial shock of his burning retinas, the first thing Kurt saw was a young man smiling kindly. He couldn't have been older than 25 years old. The first thought that came to Kurt's mind was that the doctor was beautiful. Pure beautiful.
"Hi Kurt. I am doctor Blaine Anderson. How are you feeling?", Blaine asked in a friendly tone, not wanting to scare away the patient.
The petite boy looked perplexed and tried to sit up. He wanted to get closer to this beautiful man. However, as he tried to get up, he felt a searing pain down his spine, forcing him to lie down again.
"Like I just got kicked out of hell for being too hideous", Kurt retorted sarcastically. Blaine had to refrain from laughing.
"Well, that's how you feel when you've overdosed. We are working on getting the poison out of your system and the cleansing process isn't pretty", Blaine said with a sympathetic smile. He didn't envy anyone to be in this situation and he shuddered by just the thought of what would have happened if Kurt hadn't been found and brought to the hospital soon enough.
Kurt didn't seem dazed by this piece of information, Blaine noticed. Was he used to overdosing? Maybe he just didn't care. Blaine wanted to say something, but he refrained from doing so. Instead, he checked his pulse, throat and followed the remaining standard procedure.
Kurt looked down to assess his attire, just to find out that he was wearing absolutely horrendous hospital robes. He wanted to shriek, but he was afraid that the pain would come back.
So Kurt just held his eyes on the oh so cute doctor. What did he say his name was? Blaine Anderson? Yeah, that was it. Blaine… Such an unusual name. But so was Kurt.
Suddenly, Kurt found the doctor poking around his throat with something that resembled an ice cream stick. Blaine flashed his light down Kurt's throat to evaluate the damage and the only thing Kurt could think was that he hadn't brushed his teeth day. Willing to die from embarrassment, he tried to pull away from the handsome doctor.
"Kurt, you have to cooperate with me here", Blaine simply stated in a patient voice.
Reluctantly, Kurt complied, letting him run the tests that were necessary. He also tried to avoid Finn's stares. Finn had been quiet during their small exchange, but Kurt knew that the moment Doctor Blaine left the hospital room, Finn would jump to his chance to confront him.
Finn was actually Kurt's stepbrother, but sometimes Kurt thought that he tried to be his dad. If Kurt was being honest with himself, it made him really, really mad. His dad was dead. Stone, cold dead. Together with his mom and everyone else who cared about him. That was the way he looked at it.
Ever since his dad died, Finn insisted on checking on him to make sure that he was on the right track. The track that he gave that up the day his father died. Most of the time, Kurt felt that he had nothing to fight for anymore. No one to keep alive.
Sometimes, during awkward situations, Kurt thought about how he got here. How did Kurt Hummel –the fashion guru, falsetto singer, painting Michelangelo – end up doing absolutely nothing with his life? Sure, he had a small studio in the shady corner of town where he could paint whenever he wanted, but how did he end up being the drug induced loser?
It started with the sexuality conflict. Yes, Kurt Hummel was gay. Rainbows and unicorn gay. Until the bullying started. Yes, he was weak. He couldn't cope with being called names all the time. The rude drawings of him in the bathroom stalls, that his designer clothes were stolen and sent back to him in a ruined state, the constant murmuring and whispering whenever he walked past. He was sick and tired of no one caring about him. Of no one seeing him – really seeing him for who he was. And the pain he felt inside of him, the pain that he revealed to no one, not even his own father, didn't go away.
It only became worse. He started getting death threats. He was afraid to go to school, afraid of living, afraid of being himself. He stopped going out in designer clothes. He tried to blend in. Just be another one in the crowd. The teasing stopped a bit, but only because half of the student body thought that he had transferred. Or died. And that was how Kurt felt. He felt that a part of him had died because he had given up on everything he was, and tried to be like everyone else instead.
The pain didn't stop though. Every time he saw himself in the mirror, he felt so fucking ashamed. So hideous. Unbeautiful. Unloved. So out of control. Miraculously, he found a few friends. Outcasts like himself. He tried to be liked there. Tried to be like them. Tried to like the music they liked and talked about the things they liked to talk about. He tried his first joint. He snorted coke for the first time. He did a lot of first times with this group of "friends". But when the night was near and darkness surrendered him, he was still alone. The only thing that kept Kurt from total self destruction was the art he made. Kurt loved to paint and draw. He would draw on anything – napkins, benches, anything. The only time he ever felt like himself, the only time he ever felt happiness was when he drew. Then he'd stop drawing and the pain will come back. The happiness and the pain played a game of tug o war with Kurt and most days he felt stretched too thin. And when even he couldn't do it anymore, Kurt turned to the white heaven of cocaine. Problem was that it seemed Kurt couldn't do it everyday. And a stupid first time becomes an addiction.
"I'm going to keep you here until tomorrow evening", Blaine said and Kurt was dragged away from his reverie.
"What? Is that necessary? I want to go home now", Kurt protested. Being in this hospital made him feel so unclean and exposed. He wanted to go home, even though home was a small one room apartment with almost no furniture.
Blaine smiled at him and looked absolutely friendly. Kurt didn't know whether to be reassured or infuriated by this. In reality he felt his heart beat a little faster when he saw that gorgeous smile. Blaine found it endearing that Kurt put up a fight and tried his best to explain to him why he should stay.
"I want to know that everything is ok with you before I let you go", Dr. Anderson said softly.
"Overdosing is a serious problem, Kurt, and it's not to be taken lightly", he added in a more serious tone. Kurt groaned inwardly. Another person telling him what to do and what to not do. Great. Just what he needed.
On the other side, he'd get to spend more time with the alarmingly handsome doctor.
"Can you sit up for me?", Doctor Anderson asked. Kurt hesitated.
"I'd rather not. It felt like a fucking mother ship slamming in my back the last time I tried"
Blaine frowned.
"That doesn't sound good", he mumbled.
"I need to have a look at your back. I have to turn you around, but I'll help you so that it'll be as painless as possible, ok?", Blaine asked, his eyes searching Kurt's for an answer. Kurt nodded slightly, cringing inwardly to embrace the inevitable pain. Blaine turned his over carefully so that he wouldn't mess up the IV or cause Kurt distress.
Nevertheless, Kurt felt the same numbing pain and screamed.
"Motherfucking holy McQueen!"
Blaine finally succeeded in turning him around so that he was lying on his stomach. Kurt gasped in pain when Blaine's professional fingers ran over his back to assess the damage. The doctor pulled Kurt's hospital robe up to reveal the bruises on Kurt's back. The frown was back on his forehead. Hell, he had forgotten about the tremendous fall he had when he was high. Seemed that it was more serious than he had thought it was at that time. But then again, he wasn't really thinking straight.
"I'm afraid I have to keep you here longer than just for a day, Kurt. It seems you have a minor injury to your spinal cord. Nothing serious, it's just best if we can monitor you while you heal", he said reassuringly.
Kurt let out a frustrated cry, but didn't say anything. He felt helpless and vunerable. And in pain.
"We need to turn you back so that you don't sleep on your stomach", Blaine said after pulling Kurt's robe back down.
Kurt yelped.
"No! No, I don't want to move again. Please, it hurt so bad.."
Blaine stroke Kurt's hair without thinking about it.
"Sh.. Are you sure? We can do it very slowly and carefully"
Kurt had already made up his mind.
"No. I'm not moving"
"I associate this position with pleasure anyways..", he added with a dry chuckle.
Blaine froze. Did Kurt just make a gay sex joke? Despite how humorless it was? He cleared his throat and tried to hide his blush.
"Fine. I'll increase your painkiller dose just a bit so that you can sleep peacefully"
Blaine increased the amount of painkillers in his IV, and the last thing on Kurt's mind before he fell asleep was Blaine's pretty face.
"What the hell, dude? You sedated him again? I wanted to talk to him. To yell at him for being so fucking irresponsible!", Finn raised his voice, kicking his chair backwards in frustration as he stood up. Finn loved his brother, he really did. But sometimes he wished that he could have a normal brother that he could watch football matches with, instead of a brother that he had to constantly bail out of jail for drug possession or loan money to because he had wasted all his money on drugs, paint and booze. And today was one of those days that he had enough.
Blaine just sighed.
"Mr. Hudson, my best interests lie with Kurt. My job is to cure him and make him fit enough to function again. And you yelling at him wouldn't make my job easier. For that purpose, I suggest you talk to him about this when he has fully recovered and be supportive of him until he does."
Finn fumed silently.
"Fine. But, I'm going home", he mumbled and left the hospital with his coat in his arms.
Blaine smiled at the sight of a peaceful Kurt sleeping before he continued to see other patients who needed his attention.
AN: I hope you guys liked it! Please review : )
Comments
Druggie!kurt is my guilty pleasure. Pleeease continue.
I intend to. Druggie!kurt is one of my favourites too :D
i love love love this story! i need to know what happens!!!