Kurt was settling in well to his new classroom, he continued to sit alone as everyone in the class had already made friends and there were no spare seats beside anyone but the vibe and warmth that surrounded the classroom made Kurt seem much safer and happier. At the beginning he was worried that running away from his problems was not the best idea but soon realised that the pros of running far outweighed the cons. It was a few weeks on from the incident, the final straw, and Kurt and Blaine were still talking everyday little it be known to everyone else. Blaine was feeling a bit better about his home life, Kurt assumed because he never talked about it anymore. Kurt still was extremely attracted to Blaine, he thought about him constantly, every little thing reminded him of Blaine and he showed up regularly in his dreams. It was getting harder and harder for Kurt to hold back and stay friends with Blaine because he wanted more so badly but Kurt wasn’t bold enough to approach him about it and decided until Blaine asked him out. He decided that Blaine must like him, he did kiss him first. Despite being each other’s closest confidant, they skirt around the issue of relationships, who liked whom and their date. They stuck to simple subjects like movies, books and homework mostly unless Blaine was really bad, then they would talk about him. But those texts and conversations were so important to Kurt, his relationship with Blaine was extremely precious to him, they made him giddy with excitement when he saw his name pop up on his phone and when he is feeling down (which was occurring more and more frequently lately) he would look back over his many favourite messages from Blaine and smile to himself, knowing that Blaine cared for him. Kurt wished they could be together but he knew the timing wasn’t right for Blaine, he had his own personal issues and Kurt was content to wait.

It was a Saturday night, a few weeks after The Incident and Kurt was sitting in his room watching a movie on his laptop when he got a text. He smiled when he heard the sound, knowing it was Blaine.

Hey, how is your weekend going? –B

Good, watching that movie you were talking about last week. It is really good. What have you been up to? –K

Kurt smiled as he sent the text; he loved knowing that Blaine was thinking about him. He got a reply back soon after:

Eventful. I got myself a girlfriend ;) –B

Those six words almost stopped Kurt's heart. He stared at the screen, frozen. He felt like his stomach dropped out of his ass and his heart was trying to escape from his chest. He couldn’t believe it. He felt so hurt. He knew Blaine wasn’t his, and he was giving him space but a girlfriend. He felt betrayed, deceived, distressed and unbelievably sad.  He sat still for a while, not sure how to reply.

Oh. –K

He sent it off. He wasn’t sure if he should play it off like he didn’t care and was happy for him or show his true feelings. He chose the latter. Kurt assumed that Blaine knew him well enough to see through the text that he was upset. He spent the next few minutes tapping his fingers anxiously on the phone, waiting for a reply. The one that came was a bit too simple for Kurt's liking, it didn’t reveal much.

Oh? –B

Now it was Kurt’s turn to reply, should he take the leap and tell him how he feels or play it off like he is happy for him? He spent the next half an hour fighting and wondering around the room, writing and deleting messaged before he sent them. The anxiety kept building and Kurt wasn’t able to focus on anything other than Blaine. He wished he didn’t have to have this conversation over text, he would prefer face to face, where they could see each other’s expressions, read the emotions and have a proper conversation. Texting felt so passive aggressive to Kurt, but it was the best he was going to get for now, he didn’t know where Blaine lived (and Blaine was probably out partying anyway) and he wasn’t brave enough to call him. Eventually he decided to bite the bullet and send him the text that he wanted to and suffer the consequences later. Kurt's hands shook as he wrote out the message over and over again until he was happy enough with it to send.

I’m happy that you have found someone; actually no I’m not. I wanted it to be me. Why couldn’t it? I am there for you always, we talk every chance we get and I really like you and I know you like me back. Why wont you give me the chance to be your boyfriend? –K

And now I wait thought Kurt.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kurt must have drifted off to sleep at some point, waiting for a reply. He woke up at 4:15am to a storm outside the window. He immediately checked his phone, the anxiety building in his chest. One new message. This message could make or break him. He sat there contemplating it for a while longer before taking a very large breath, biting his lip and he opened the text.

Kurt, I’m sorry but I can’t. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. –B

Kurt chuckled humourlessly as he read the message over and over, shaking his head. He sent back a reply, hoping that Blaine was still awake and would reply. Another reason he hated conversations through text, they took way too long. Face to face you got your reply immediately.

I don’t care! Take the chance! You are being a wimp, how do you expect to go anywhere in life if you wont take a leap? –K

Kurt knew he was being harsh but he was angry, Blaine’s excuse was pathetic and cliché. Surprisingly, it seemed Blaine was awake because the reply came back only minutes later while Kurt was lying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

I have a girlfriend Kurt and she is funnier, smarter and more attractive than you will ever be. It is not going to happen. –B

A loud crashing noise was made when Kurt through his phone at the wall, it ricochet of the wall and landed with a thump on the floor, screen cracked and black. If you examined the wall, you would see a small hole made by the phone and some of the paint had pealed off when the phone collided with the wall but Kurt couldn’t really give a crap. He was crying hard, sobbing really, face down into his pillow, throwing things round occasionally, like his lamp, or a CD or his arms. He was angry, hurt, embarrassed, upset, wounded, humiliated, mortified and defeated. He kept coming up with synonyms to describe his emotions in order to keep his mind off Blaine and that text. How could Blaine say that to me? How dare he? But was it true? Does he really think that little of me? Clearly the word naming exercise wasn’t working because Kurt couldn’t stop those thought from running through his head. ‘Funnier, smarter and more attractive’, those words kept appearing in his head making him feel less and less worthy and pretty damn crap about him self. He continued to throw thinks around the room, but lighter things like pillows in order to not wake anyone up. It was a miracle they hadn’t heard the crashing noises. Eventually Kurt tired himself out and curled up in his bed, tucking his sheets around him and wound himself into a ball, his arms around his legs, hugging them to his chest. He let out small sobbing noises occasionally until he finally fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXX

The next few days were spent moping. He spent Sunday in his room and pleaded sick on Monday to avoid school. He spent the day buried in his bed; reading and eating all the snack foods he could get his hands on. He was done feeling angry and was going through the victim stage, brooding and sulking. He hadn’t replied to Blaine’s message and didn’t plan to. His phone was still working, miraculously, so Monday night he deleted Blaine’s number and all of his messages off the phone then spent several hours going through an extensive beauty regime to get rid of the red, puffy look from his swollen eyes. He drifted off to sleep detirmined never to talk to Blaine again. And for a month, it worked.