A couple of hours later, Blaine’s mum arrived at the door to take the children back to her house with weekend bags. Blaine thought it was best that they went away since it was clear that Andrew blamed him and some time away might do him good. As soon as they left, Blaine let out everything that he had been holding in. He screamed and fell to the floor, slamming his fists down hard and crying so hard that his eyes hurt and he felt sick. Right now he hated Kurt, he hated him so much for doing this to them. He got to his feet a few minutes later and went upstairs to their bedroom, looking around at all the pictures of him and Kurt and the whole family. He picked up one of the pictures then went to the bed where one of Kurt’s shirts was, he held them both and collapsed on the bed, holding the picture and the shirt tight to him. He was struggling to accept that Kurt was gone and never coming back, he had known the boy for fifteen years and for someone to be gone like that was hard especially when you were as close as Kurt and Blaine were. They beat the odds and fought when people tried to get between them. They were more in love than any other couple that they had met, they connected so much better than everyone else. Right now though, he hated Kurt for leaving him, leaving him almost alone in the world.
“How could you do this to me Kurt? Leaving me alone in this cruel, fucked up world? Our boy, our five year old boy hates me because he thinks I killed you, I would never hurt you baby, never. I just want you back, I want you in my arms and to hold you again, kiss you and tell you I love you. God those were your last words to me “I love you”, if you loved me then why did you leave me? Why would you do such a cruel thing? We’ve been through so much together Kurt, how could you leave me now? The kids they need you, I need you and I miss you so much. My heart... baby it hurts so much, I just want the pain to stop. It will never stop, not while you’re gone. I can’t do this without you, you are my life so why did you leave me? Why did I have to go out into the road? Why did you have to push me out of the way? Why did that car have to hit you? Why did you have to die? Why Kurt? I’m in so much pain and I will never be able to get over this, I’ll never be able to move on. I don’t want to, I want to be yours forever, like you are mine. I have to do the really hard stuff now, I have to tell people that you are... you’re gone and you’re never coming back. I have to organise your funeral, pick out an outfit for you, say goo...” Blaine couldn’t finish the word, he was crying so hard, he couldn’t say goodbye to Kurt, not now, not ever.

An hour later he dragged himself off the bed and to the phone, picking up Kurt’s address book and finding each person that would come to the funeral. He went down the list alphabetically, first calling Kurt’s old school friend Artie Abrams, maybe he would come since they were in glee club together. After calling him, he went down the list of people, Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, Noah Puckerman, Brittany Pearce, Mike Chang, Tina Cohen-Chang, Sam Evans and anyone else that they had met between McKinley and now. The last one he contacted was Kurt’s best friend, Mercedes Jones, since he had no idea of what to say or how to say it, they had known each other for years and had been friends almost since they met. They were all devastated and shocked by Kurt’s death; Mercedes screamed and dropped the phone which pained Blaine’s already broken heart even more. She agreed to help Blaine with the funeral, she, Burt, Carole and he were going to eventually meet up and plan it. He had decided that he was going to uses tulips instead or roses or lilies or any other kind of flower. He got Kurt red tulips on their first date, he took him to a restaurant and they had a romantic meal. He was going to get a little present from each of the children to put on Kurt’s... grave and he was going to have him buried next to his mother. When Blaine died he was going to be asked to be put next to Kurt and he knew that Burt would be next to Kurt’s mother, Elizabeth.

There was a knock at the door, Blaine had no idea who it was but went to answer it anyway. Mercedes was standing there with a tear stained face, she looked really bad well of course she did, she just found out her best friend died yesterday but he didn’t tell her that she had been the last to have been informed.
“Hey.” She said quietly.
“Hey.” Blaine replied just as quietly.
“I can’t believe it...” She cried, throwing her arms around Blaine and hugging him tight, crying into his neck. “My boo...”
Blaine hugged her in return and cried silently, he and Mercedes were close but not as close as she and Kurt were. They had been through a fair bit together, like he and Kurt had but it was different with them. He led her to the kitchen and sat her down, getting out a bottle of wine and two glasses. He needed a drink and he needed one now and Mercedes looked like she could do with one.
“Was he in pain?” Mercedes asked quietly before taking a sip.
“No, he went peacefully.” Blaine answered honestly, he wasn’t going to lie, he wasn’t in pain well he didn’t seem it.
“Good. What, if you don’t mind me asking, were his last words?”
“I love you. He told me he loved me and then he went. He didn’t even wait until I had finished the song I was singing.” Blaine ran a hand through his hair before deciding that wine wasn’t strong enough, going into the cupboard and getting out vodka.
“Blaine, I don’t think you should drink that. You have kids and this isn’t the way to deal with it.”
“Oh its not? Then tell me, oh wise Mercedes, how do I fucking deal with it? How does someone deal with something like this?”
Mercedes looked at Blaine helplessly, there wasn’t much she could do besides get him to stop drinking but he wouldn’t stop. If Kurt could see him now, he’d surely slap him, he wouldn’t tolerate this behaviour from Blaine, not at all.
“I don’t know Blaine but Kurt would not like you behaving like this.”
“Kurt isn’t here! He can’t do anything! He is dead!”
“I am fully aware of that Blaine but you cannot do this to yourself, I won’t let you. I will not let you do this to yourself, to your children and to Kurt.”
“Fuck Kurt!”
Mercedes slapped him hard, she wanted him to realise what he was doing. Yes he was grieving but he didn’t need to do this, he didn’t need to get drunk.
“I’m sorry Blaine, you needed that. I am not going to let you do this, so stop it. For your children, for Kurt.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.”