Blaine: Actually right now I feel pretty shitty so I can't give a good response to that. I'll get back with you later. When all this bad feeling just wears off. I'm altered. I can tell.

***

It had been about 20 minutes since Rachel and Finn had left, and he felt sick. Once the smoke had cleared and he had texted Finn, Blaine stepped tentatively out of the bedroom and back into the kitchen. He dumped the joints out on the table and set the prescription bottle aside as he looked at them. He hated thinking that these sticks that could help him were causing so much tension. Maybe Rachel was right. He bottled them back up and looked towards the living room before running his hand over his head.

Kurt ushered the last of the guests out, put away the groceries, and stared hard at his phone, needing so badly to go back about fifteen minutes and try this again. He put his phone back in his pocket and decided it was time to break the silence in the apartment. He grabbed the box of cupcakes and carried them into the kitchen. Then he set them aside and leaned back against one of the counters. He crossed his feet and his arms and licked his lips before speaking. "We should talk," he said softly, but in the stillness of the kitchen his voice sounded loud in his ears.

"Don't," Blaine whispered his voice sounding loud in his ears as he pocketed his phone. "I'm going to flush the dope, it was stupid, and Rachel was right she's always right, maybe smoking this makes me look like a druggie. I don't think I can handle anymore negative right now."

"Wait," Kurt dropped his hands. He wanted to go to Blaine and physically stop him, but in this case, maybe Blaine still needed space. Which he could understand. Kurt was pretty sure he still needed some space too but he didn't want to leave important things unsaid. "I wasn't going to jump on you right now, but I was thinking you might be under that impression and you are, so please... let's just talk okay? No jumping or yelling. Just you and me. I'll even make tea. Very civilized." Kurt moved forward and pulled out the tea pot and began filling it with water, hoping to give Blaine a chance to choose to stay and talk.

Blaine looked at Kurt with red eyes. He moved the bottle back to the center of the table and sighed. He was so angry and he just wanted to scream. He couldn't do this; couldn't feel this way. He watched as Kurt filled the tea pot with water and tried to relax tried to breath, "ginger please, I feel sick."

"Me too," Kurt said. He pulled out the tin of ginger tea. Then the honey. He was standing at the refrigerator pulling out a lemon before he said anything else. "I'm not mad about the pot," he admitted. He didn't look at Blaine, but went about finding a knife to cut the lemon. "I think I just panicked when I walked into a fight, and there were unexpected elements," he paused to take a breath and then he looked over at Blaine, his expression guarded.

"I could have handled it better." Blaine sighed as Kurt said he wasn't mad about the pot, "but you're mad that I didn't tell you about it, mad that I had it in the apartment to begin with," Blaine sighed and coughed as he twirled the bottle in his hand, "I can't think right now. To be honest."

"Please just... I said I wasn't mad about the pot and that's exactly what I meant. I know about medical marijuana. So, I get that," Kurt put the lemons on a plate and remembered that he forgot to turn on the stove. Clearly he couldn't think either. "I was just defensive. I walked in and Rachel was yelling and I didn't know what to do. I'm trying to say I'm sorry."

"She basically called me a junkie. She said she understood my pain. She doesn't understand shit," Blaine took in a breath, "she said Finn was going to be my druggie buddy. She walked into OUR home with a key I had made for her in case of an emergency, and proceeded to bitch me out and just..." Blaine's voice trailed off, "I'm sorry you had to see me so angry."

"Oh my god, please don't apologize, I don't think I can handle that." Kurt walked slowly across to Blaine, giving him a chance to realize that Kurt was closing the distance between them. "I should have stopped her. I should have stood up for you, probably even Finn too, though I suppose he can do that for himself. I was shocked and unprepared, but that's no excuse for not getting in between you and anyone who would say those horrible things to you. She was wrong, and Blaine, I am so sorry." Kurt reached for Blaine then and pulled him into a tight hug.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and squeezed him gently. He breathed in the smell of his cologne and tried to relax to no avail. He was so keyed up and still so angry. He released him from his grip and sighed as he stepped back, "I need to go to the gym."

Kurt stepped back, nodding. This was something he understood. It didn't have to do with him now, so he could work on making his own peace with tea and a cupcake and maybe he would text Finn and offer him some space on their couch if he needed it. "Okay," he said. "I'll be here." He smiled a little for Blaine and hoped that he sounded sincere. He didn't feel at all bad about Blaine going to the gym, he felt bad about the inevitable fight he was going to have with his friend. Not tonight though. He was taking the bubbliest of bubble baths and putting it out of his head.

***

Blaine stepped back in from the gym a while later to the sound of water running in the bathroom. He went and knocked on the door before opening it up and sitting on the floor next to Kurt, "hey. Feel better?"

Kurt had one foot propped up on the side of the tub and was laying way down so that the bubbles tickled his chin. He'd replaced his tea with wine and was on his second glass when Blaine stepped in. "Hey," he smiled. Blaine looked better, a lot better. "I'm feeling a lot better," he said. Kurt sat up just a little bit, looking Blaine over. "You look like you could use a bath."

"I could," he picked up the glass of wine and took a sip before making a face, "and well I thought I could have this too, but my taste buds say otherwise." He smiled, "is that an invite into the tub with you?"

Kurt might have licked his lips just a little bit as he listened to Blaine. He always looked so good after a workout. Kurt usually wasn't a fan of sweat, but Blaine made it downright sexy, even now when he was mostly cooled back off. Kurt pretty much wanted to taste him which, wow, okay. "It most definitely was," he nodded slowly.

Blaine leaned over and kissed his bare leg before standing up shedding his clothes and slipping into the warm water. "I miss a big bathtub, maybe we should consider getting a hot tub?"

"Mmm," Kurt agreed, but this was pretty nice too. He wrapped his arms around Blaine and kissed at neck, just a little bit. "Did you have a good workout?"

Blaine nodded and leaned back against him, "I did it was much needed."

He nuzzled and nosed at Blaine's scalp just a little, breathing him in and enjoying the feel of having him in his arms just then. "So is this, I think," Kurt whispered.

Blaine turned to kiss him softly as he let out a comfortable sigh, "just being with you makes everything better."

"I am pretty wonderful," he teased softly and then squeezed Blaine just a little bit. "Being with you makes me better."

"I'm pretty wonderful too," Blaine pouted playfully before slipping further down into the water and tangling one of his legs with Kurt's, "should we still go to the banquet?"

"Probably," Kurt said. He was still angry, but he wouldn't always feel like he did right now. At least he hoped not. "How do you feel about it?"

"Well considering it's tomorrow and I paid to get my suit altered, Jessica busted her butt to get Finn's tux fixed, and I bought her earrings I should probably go, but at the same time she's just been so distant and I dunno. Maybe I'm just not thinking clearly, but I really feel like she's still dwelling on her issues, and not getting out and embracing life."

"I do think there's a lot of that going on," Kurt spoke against Blaine's skin. Blaine was his safe place and he was hanging on tight right now. "At the same time, we don't have to be on speaking terms to go. We can go and see and later we won't have to regret missing anything. Unless you really don't want to and then we just won't." He tucked the last line on with real sincerity. It wasn't worth stressing Blaine out. He was supposed to be staying calm and getting stronger. That was pretty much the most important thing to Kurt just then. His friendship with Rachel was important too but not at the expense of Blaine's health. Besides, she was the one doing all the yelling and accusing. It was really a lot to mull over and he wasn't exactly prepared to fully decide tonight anyway.

Blaine nodded and sighed, "Maybe we shouldn't, and also maybe we shouldn't talk to them for a while." He took in another deep breath and completely relaxed against Kurt and closed his eyes, "I know we need friends right now, but we have so many outside of them. Maybe we need a break."

Kurt closed his eyes but he nodded too. "I think you're right. I thought I would text Finn tomorrow and just... let him know he still has a place here if he needs it, and then... yes. I think maybe a break is good. They have their hands full and so do we, and I think... focusing on us is really important right now."

Blaine sighed and nodded, "I love you, I don't want you to lose your friendship with Rachel because of me." He shivered slightly despite the warm water, "I dunno I just guess since this happened with me she and I are even more distant and it just sucks. I miss my sister, and she totally doesn't seem to care. I actually gave up trying to talk to her."

"If our friendship falls apart over this, then it wasn't very strong, was it?" Kurt ached just saying that out loud but he needed Blaine to hear him, really hear him. "It wouldn't be your fault. I can forgive her, eventually, you know, but we'll just have to see how it goes. She's been really distant with me too. I think maybe a break might be a relief to her too. That's the feeling I get anyway." Kurt rubbed his hands up and down Blaine's arms.

"Yeah, she's overwhelmed with her loss, and really I can't believe she hid it for as long as she did. It has really destroyed her, and Finn he's just... a shell of who he used to be. I can't get over how much their marriage so young has left them so dependent on one another that they practically can't breathe without being in the same room. I know that in some ways we are like that, but you and I learned to live without one another, and now coming back together I definitely think we're stronger."

"I think you've hit it exactly right," Kurt said softly. "Maybe counseling will help them, but I can definitely see the difference our time apart has made. Even if I didn't enjoy that time, I do think we both grew more into ourselves, more independent."

Blaine sat up and turned around in the water and looked at Kurt, "I love you, and you're right as much as it sucked it made us a much stronger couple." He yawned and sighed, "I want to take you to bed."

"I love you too, and I really want to be taken to bed," Kurt said. He wanted nothing more than to be wrapped around Blaine for the rest of the night.

Blaine yawned again and stood up and stepped out of the tub before reaching out to Kurt as he grabbed a few towels and wrapped them up, "Let's go to bed."

"Let's," Kurt leaned in toward Blaine but not for a kiss, just for closeness. He held onto Blaine's hand while they padded out to the bedroom. Kurt scrubbed a little more at himself, drying as best he could, and then he left his towel over the chair. Kurt climbed into bed without a stitch on, but it was because he needed the comfort of feeling Blaine, as much of Blaine as possible, as they both drifted off.

Blaine followed suit and wrapped himself around Kurt as he pulled the comforter over their naked bodies and closed his eyes. He needed this comfort of Kurt and smiled slightly as he drifted off to sleep.

***

Blaine stirred as the morning sounds of the city woke him from peaceful sleep. He reached over to find Kurt still sleeping, and curled himself tighter around him. He snaked his tongue gently along his ear and kissed down his neck as he slid his hands further down his body. He loved waking up to him, and after last night he wanted to show him how much.

Kurt sighed softly in his sleep, but after another moment he came awake slowly, stretching luxuriously against Blaine, hands reaching for him before he'd opened his eyes. "Hi," he whispered. His voice was still thick with sleep.

"Hi," Blaine whispered back his voice still tired and slightly raspy. "We should stay here all day." He smiled as Kurt's hands reached for him, and he nuzzled against his body before kissing him softly. "You're beautiful you know that?"

"Yes, please," Kurt sighed. He kissed Blaine back and relished the feeling of of coming awake like this, all warm and snuggled and naked in Blaine's arms. "You make me feel beautiful," Kurt answered quietly. He traced a finger over Blaine's cheek bone and across his lower lip, his eyes following the path his finger took. Then he looked back into Blaine's eyes. "You're beautiful," he said, his heart suddenly in his throat.

Blaine looked at Kurt intensely for a few moments and sighed as he closed his eyes, "you don't know how much that means to me." He snuggled himself closer to Kurt and brushed a hand against his cheek. "Lately with everything happening I don't feel attractive, if anything I just feel out of place."

Kurt wished there was some way to fully erase that line of thinking for Blaine, but he knew the extent of his powers. Showing Blaine how beautiful he was in Kurt's eyes was in his control, so that was what he would work on. It was more than skin deep, though, and really that was a feeling that Kurt understood too. "I'd like to help, if I can," Kurt offered. "I sort of feel like that a lot lately," he admitted.

"Okay," Blaine whispered as he ran his hand through Kurt's hair and kissed him softly, "it's such a weird feeling isn't it? Feeling like no one really understands us the things we're going through except the people that are going through it too."

"It is," Kurt answered. "It's isolating." That was why people had to turn to support groups, he thought. Because that was the only place they could find people who really got it. But did they need one to go to together or did they need separate ones? Did they need one at all? Maybe they just need to reach out to some other people and find a broader base of support. Blaine's life had changed because of the cancer, but Kurt's life had almost disappeared. Two sides of the same coin with all the same fears and worries and hopes and dreams.

"You," Blaine kissed his nose, "need to get out more. It's always work or home with me, and while you're at work I'm still getting out, being social, seeing people." He smiled as he moved to laying on top of Kurt and smirked, "you should come with me next week to treatments too, maybe you'll meet someone like you. Someone who's going through the same things."

"You're probably right," Kurt sighed. That was the real problem here though. He didn't have the motivation to do that. He was in serious danger of becoming codependent though, if he didn't change some of his ways. "I sort of have tunnel vision right now, and it's not really good for either of us," he felt a little relieved though, that they were saying these things to each other. They needed to be said.

"Tunnel vision isn't always bad," Blaine leaned in and bit at his neck, "though in this case you need people you can turn to." He ran his hands further down his chest and smiled before kissing the skin and swirling his tongue along each of his nipples, "because you shouldn't feel alone in any of this."

Ohmygod. Kurt arched and stretched and eventually rocked his shoulders back, trying to give Blaine room to move, because damn. And he did try to give appropriate answers. He mhmm'd and then moaned, but he was listening, for the most part. "Don't feel... alone," he laughed just a tiny bit, "exactly, okay..." he couldn't form proper sentences as long as Blaine's tongue was running over his skin like that.

Blaine smirked again as Kurt melted under his touch before he moved further down his body dipping his tongue against his belly button and swirling his tongue along his thighs all the time avoiding his cock. "Promise me babe," he smiled as he swirled his tongue back up to his nipples and grabbed the lube before pouring some between them and rocking against him slowly.

"Blaine," it was whiny, and almost pitiful, but Kurt needed Blaine to focus if he was going to start something like that. He tried a different tactic when Blaine didn't stop. "Please?" he asked, his hips canting forward, but Blaine wanted a promise. "Oh, uh, yes, okay, people, got it, promise," he said. Then he grabbed at Blaine as best he could, desperate for better friction.

"Good deal," Blaine said as Kurt gripped into him and pulled him harder against him. The slow rocking motions of their bodies moving together caused him to breathe out and growl low in his throat. "I love you."

"I love you so damn much, Blaine!" Kurt pulled Blaine's leg up over his hip, and slid his hand around over his ass. God he was so needy this morning, but this felt like an affirmation between them. They still had each other, they could face anything as long as they had that much.

Blaine sighed against Kurt's lips as he continued to lazily grind their cocks together. He wanted Kurt but this was more than sex this was reaffirming their love he needed him to know that. "Love this," he said while picking the pace up slightly as he brought their lips together and swept his tongue into his mouth.

Kurt clung to Blaine as their bodies moved together, it was slow and hot and Kurt felt like he was melding with Blaine. They slipped together perfectly, and Kurt opened to Blaine's tongue, kissing him without any sort of rush, though it was still deep and intense.

Blaine broke the kiss as he moved against him and groaned. Their bodies were moving in perfect rhythm, in sync with amazing friction. He could feel his whole body tensing and heat pooling, "baby," he whispered and kissed against Kurt's neck, "perfect."

"Need," Kurt was trembling, he was so close but he wanted Blaine inside him. "Need you inside me..." he breathed. Kurt rolled, pulling Blaine along until his back hit the mattress and Blaine was above him.

"O...Okay," Blaine moved as Kurt rolled them over tugging him along. He grabbed the bottle and slicked his fingers before opening Kurt up quickly and sliding into him. His tight heat against Blaine's aching cock was amazing, and he began rolling his hips slowly before slowly picking up the pace.

"Yes..oh!" Kurt spread himself for Blaine, and moved to wrap his legs around him, but it wasn't enough, Kurt wanted him deeper. So he tucked his arm under one knee so that he was partially folded in half, his other leg spread out across the bed as Blaine began to move faster. He looked up into Blaine's eyes, catching and holding his gaze.

Kurt's quick change in position was all it took for Blaine to slip all the way in. The only noises now were Kurt's needy words and the slapping of wet, slick skin, "God baby." Blaine jerked his hips rocking and pressing against Kurt with every motion. He could feel the tenseness and heat, "baby come, come with me." He wrapped his hand around Kurt's and pressed them against the bed, "I want you to come untouched."

Blaine knew exactly how to send him over the edge. It only took a few more thrusts just... right there, and Blaine's urging, before Kurt was coming in streaks across his chest and stomach. He only closed his eyes when he couldn't physically keep them open as the pleasure crest through him, wracking his body, pulsing through his cock and ass.

Kurt's body shook as he came clamping tightly around Blaine and shuddering against him in waves. Blaine cried out as pleasure overwhelmed him as he quickly following spilling deep inside Kurt. His breathing hitched and his muscles ached as he lowered himself and curled around his husband, "shower with me?"

Kurt kissed at Blaine's temple and he held him close for a moment. "Yes, please," Kurt sighed. He stretched and they moved off the bed. Kurt's legs were watery feeling and he laughed, clutching a little at Blaine's arm.

Blaine smiled as he gripped Kurt tightly and pulled him towards the bathroom. The weekend was looking up.