May 14, 2013, 5:49 a.m.
Rebuilding Dreams: Reconnecting
E - Words: 4,616 - Last Updated: May 14, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 24/? - Created: Feb 22, 2013 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022 419 0 0 0 0
From: Blaine Anderson
Subject: Health Update
Hi family,
I'm actually feeling a little better today, and thought I would write a note to everyone explaining what has been going on with me health wise. I have stage 3 testicular cancer. What this means is that by the time it was discovered that I had cancer it had spread beyond my testicle, gone into my lymph nodes and moved to my lungs.
Now you might ask how I didn't know I was this sick. Cancer masks in different symptoms. I had some physical pain in my groin for a few weeks, but I thought I had just pulled muscles at the gym, then a few weeks after that happened I started feeling really tired all the time. I thought maybe I had the beginnings of the flu or mono because I just felt generally achy and had a mild cough so I went to the doctor for a physical, and that's when he found the tumor. You might even ask how I didn't notice a tumor the size of a walnut, and the answer to that question is I didn't notice it because the cancer grew around my testicle and I had no pain until 2 weeks before surgery.
As, you know I'm currently doing chemotherapy to shrink the cancer in my lungs. I might also end up having to have radiation treatment depending on the outcome of the chemo. Other than feeling like I have the flu most days life isn't as shitty as it sounds. Though if Kurt doesn't follow through on his promise to not make me drink pure wheatgrass shots then we might have problems :P
We love you all.
Blaine
**
Rehearsal time. Friday is going to be my first night back on stage so that means I have less than a week to get myself back in shape and back in the right frame of mind. The rehearsing and working out will get me ready for the physical stuff, but I have no idea how I'm going to get my head together before then. On the other hand, maybe it will be good to have something to take my mind off of things. And everyone's going to flip when they see my ring!
-K
**
So as it turned out not everyone was happy about my news today, some were more worried for me than others. Nicki's a sweet guy, but I'm not about to let him bring me down. I am going to marry the man I love and that's really all that matters right now.
-K
**
Kurt: We got a little break, how's everything going? I miss you.
Blaine: It's going. I felt like getting up and moving after drinking the smoothie so it worked I guess. I miss you too. I emailed our parents, gave them an update but didn't mention the engagement. What did the rest of the cast say about your ring?
Kurt: Good! The cast flipped out, a few friends had some happy tears for me. Lots of questions, omg. At least this is good practice for when we tell our families ;)
Blaine: Lots of questions? I can see that I guess and about telling our families when do you think we should?
Kurt: Well the last time I saw anyone you and I were sort of... in the past. But our families? I'm not sure. Part of me wants to call my dad today and tell him, because it's good news and good news has been in short supply lately. On the other hand I know he'll think it's too soon and I don't want people raining on my parade today. I want a chance to enjoy it, if that makes sense. I don't know. What do you think?
Blaine: Yeah I can understand how that would cause lots of questions. I wouldn't mind telling our families now especially considering everything going on with me. You would think they wouldn't care because it is happy news. Though I totally want a chance to enjoy it. By the way I was too sick last night to even care, but it's been a week...
Kurt: Wow, it has been... so the doctor said... everything is okay?
Blaine: Yes so I have been cleared by the surgical urologist and only have to go back to him if I have issues with performance or pain.
Kurt: Well, then, that is good to know. Mmhm.
Blaine: You know we really should see if I can "perform". What time do you get off?
Kurt: I'm with the tailor right now. She thought some of Liir's costumes might need adjusting.
Shouldn't be too much longer. Then I'm all yours ;)
Blaine: I wonder why?! I know you haven't been eating. You need to drink more green smoothie things with me.
Kurt: I will. That's a promise. It's a part of that whole getting my shit back together thing I'm working on.
Blaine: Good deal.
Kurt: Have I mentioned today how happy I am to be your fiance? Because I really am. And I sort of already told Rachel, so that means Finn probably already knows too. I'm sorry I honestly forgot I did that with everything that happened yesterday.
Blaine: I'm happy to be your fiance as well, and I couldn't have picked a worse day to ask, but I couldn't wait. It's okay. There is something that I wanted to ask you about all this though? How close are you to being home?
Kurt: Leaving the tailor now.
Blaine: Okay. See you in a few.
**
Kurt hurried out of the cab. He was sweaty and he was sure he looked a fright, but he was anxious to get back to Blaine and whatever it was he wanted to talk about. He was also hungry. Actually hungry for real food. Kurt hadn't even recognize the gnawing feeling inside him until he was standing in front of the tailor and his stomach growled. She'd given him a very stern warning after that. No more weight loss. Well, Kurt could deal with that. Not that he thought it would be easy to suddenly just be okay all the time. Blaine's recovery was going to be a long process, but he was determined to take care of himself so he could take care of Blaine. They would help each other, as Blaine pointed out often enough. Kurt hurried inside and when he found Blaine he leaned in and kissed his cheek before sitting down beside him on the sofa. "Today was really long without you," he pouted just a little bit for effect, "but it felt sort of good to dance and sing again," he admitted.
Blaine had just slumped back on the couch with a half of a turkey sandwich when he heard Kurt's keys in the door. He was surprised he was getting around as well as he was considering he hadn't gotten very much sleep, and the chemo had really messed up his system the previous evening but he wasn't complaining. He also would never let on that he didn't mind the smoothies. He was thinking that they might be part of the reason he had renewed energy. He turned to the door and smiled as he watched Kurt drop his bag and keys before coming and sitting with him on the couch. "Hey," he smiled over at him and kissed him back, "I know I messed around on the piano and pretty much laid about until I thought I could get up and make some sorta food for lunch." Blaine sighed and linked his fingers, "I wanted to talk to you about something though. What would you think if we got married in a week or so. I'll be done with my first cycle of treatment. I get two weeks off then I start round two. I was thinking we could get a room at a nice hotel, and spend a few nights that way you can still work, but we can get away from here."
"Yes!" Kurt squealed a tiny bit and his hand flew up to his mouth to stop more squeals from escaping. "Oh, Blaine!" Kurt threw his arms around Blaine, ignoring both his sweaty back and Blaine's sandwich. He pulled back with a half guilty grin. His heart pounded with excitement. "That's not a lot of time, but I think we can work with it! I need to hire movers, oh god, Blaine I need to get rid of stuff and find a storage unit and... Oh my god you do want me here right? And we'll need to call everyone and get some help, and maybe we can find someplace nice, it'll probably have to be an outdoor wedding with such little notice. I mean this is New York, all the good places have been booked for years and..." Kurt's voice dropped away as he turned wide eyes back to Blaine, "Don't worry about any of it though, I used to have my whole wedding planned out to the letter, I can totally work with two weeks!" Kurt was bouncing just a little on the couch, his heels thumping on the floor. He was already making a to do list in his head.
Blaine tossed the sandwich aside and wrapped Kurt firmly in a hug before kissing him softly when he pulled back and smiled at him. He listened to him ramble on about movers and wanting him there and planning this beautiful outdoor wedding. He couldn't help but smile at his excitement and took his hands, "I'll give you two weeks." He ran his hand against Kurt's cheek and smiled, "I actually can't wait to have you all to myself for the rest of our lives." He smiled and kissed Kurt softly before pulling back and looking at him and taking his hands, "You are everything to me and I can't wait to call you my husband." He leaned in and brushed another soft kiss to his lips, "We should go to our bedroom."
The words, husband, sounded so good coming from Blaine. Kurt leaned into the kiss. It felt different. Just a little. Maybe that was his imagination, but when they kissed now it felt a little like forever to Kurt, and he loved that. "We should," Kurt agreed. He wasn't that hungry any more, but he did need a shower. "But I'm going to stop in for a quick shower first. I promise you, you want me to take a shower," he teased. "Five minutes, I'll meet you there." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and then lifted it to his lips, kissing it swiftly as he stood. Then he winked at Blaine and hurried off down the hall. He threw off his clothes as fast as he could, dumping them on the floor without care as he stumbled toward the shower. He turned the water on warm and stepped in under the stream. Two weeks. He would have to call home right away. It couldn't wait. That was the first step, he thought. In the morning he could sit down in front of his laptop and start a comprehensive to do list and budget. Oh god they needed a budget. He couldn't do this right now. Kurt began scrubbing at his hair and he had to force himself off the wedding details. He had a fiance out there with a green light for sex and there was no way he was worrying about a single solitary thing other than that right now and his five minutes were almost up. He hurried through the rest of the shower, just soaping and rinsing, before hopping out. Kurt snagged a towel and dried at his hair as he headed out into the bedroom.
Blaine laughed as Kurt ran off towards the shower and sighed softly before grabbing some Tylenol, and a bottle of water before going and lying down on the bed to wait for his fiance. He was tired and achy, but he needed to be with Kurt right now. He sighed and closed his eyes for a few moments before he heard the bedroom door pop open and he opened his eyes to see Kurt standing there completely naked and dragging a towel through his hair. Kurt really was beautiful, and he need him right now. He stood up and walked up behind him and kissed him gently against the neck and shoulders before whispering against his ear, "I meant to tell you that when they drew blood before my surgery all the results came back negative." He drug his tongue gently along his ear before moving to suck on his neck, "I just thought you should know."
Blaine's breath was hot and Kurt's ear tingled with his admission. Kurt was practically obsessive about testing. He always had been. That and protection. Blaine was the only man he'd ever been bare with and the idea that he could be again, and right now? It made his insides clench in delicious ways. Kurt turned around and pulled Blaine against him slowly, pressing a kiss to his lips. It felt indulgent being so naked and wet still while Blaine was all the way dressed. The way his soft t-shirt tried to cling at Kurt's wet skin, the way his sweats teased Kurt's thighs, he had to wrapped Blaine just a little closer to enjoy the way it felt. He'd already forgotten the towel. "I was negative at the beginning of the month and I haven't been with anyone but you since." Kurt whispered against the shell of Blaine's ear and then nibbled. He was already getting hard thinking about it. Kurt tugged Blaine along to the bed and slowly peeled off his shirt, hands running over his chest. Then he dropped to the floor and did the same to Blaine's pants, lifting each of his feet in turn to remove them. Blaine's briefs left little to the imagination and for a second Kurt was thrown off and just stared. He leaned in and nosed along the outline of Blaine's cock gently. Then he looked up at Blaine. "Let me make love to you, Blaine, please." It was a question, but Kurt's desire made it just a little bit gruff.
Blaine felt his whole body relax as Kurt turned and faced him. Water was still beaded up on his skin and the feel of the cool moisture on his sore cracked lips was amazing. He let out a low moan in his throat as Kurt wrapped him tighter and kissed him, and he relaxed even more when Kurt shared that he was also negative. He smiled softly. He had only ever been with Kurt bare, and he had even gone and tested every six months whether he had been with anyone or not. He smiled as Kurt tugged him to the bed and began to peel his clothes off. His body tingled as Kurt's hands brushed against his bare chest and down his bare legs as he removed his shirt and pants. His current brief situation left nothing to the imagination and he was already getting hard as he noticed Kurt staring slightly before nudging his cock with his nose. "Yes," Blaine whispered softly as he leaned into kiss Kurt again, "face to face and bare."
Kurt kissed Blaine deep and slow. Then he helped peel off his briefs and petted at his thighs. He wanted to suck Blaine off, right here on his knees, but he knew Blaine was still tired so he stood and climbed onto the bed, pulling Blaine along with him. "Come 'ere," he said, leaning to kiss along Blaine's mouth and jaw. His hands maneuvered Blaine onto his back so he could slip down his body, trailing licks and nibbles as he went, until he settled between Blaine's legs. He began by kissing the insides of Blaine's knees, slowly, each in turn. Then he peppered kisses along his thighs, his hands sweeping slowly behind his mouth. He licked the space where Blaine's thighs met his pelvis, all the while careful to move slow and gentle though he was drowning in the taste of Blaine's skin. His licks moved to the taut muscles of Blaine's abdomen and Kurt couldn't resist biting down just the tiniest bit on his hipbones. Finally, when he couldn't stand the wait any longer, Kurt leaned up and licked the very tip of Blaine's cock. He did this a couple more times before sliding his closed mouth along the length of it. Blaine's scent, and his taste were concentrated here and it was a heady thing to be so close to having him, in fact Kurt was losing his self control because he gave up on the teasing and sucked Blaine in swiftly, moaning as he did so.
"Ahh," Blaine breathed out as Kurt peeled off his briefs and moved his hands against his thighs. His whole body seemed so sensitive more so than normal, and he could feel his cock already feeling like he would come just from touch. He sighed and whimpered as Kurt began kissing down his neck and jaw before slipping down his body. The feel of Kurt's teeth and tongue on his skin was amazing, and all Blaine could do was loll his head against the pillows and relax. He groaned as Kurt settled between his legs and began licking and sucking against his knees and thighs. He licked the sensitive skin of his groin and nipped at his hipbones. Blaine moaned out as Kurt's movements and touch tightened the heat in his belly. He wanted this man so badly, and when Kurt's mouth slipped down over his aching cock he cried out. "Ahh...ahhh," he whined as Kurt sucked him into his mouth and swirled his tongue along the shaft. He knew tonight he wouldn't last long, "baby, fuck...fuck..," he moaned as Kurt's tongue kept swirling around the head, "fuck..."
Kurt hummed his satisfaction at having Blaine filling his mouth. He ached to swallow him down, to suck him off hard and fast until he couldn't help but spill down Kurt's throat, but he had other plans for tonight. He wanted Blaine to come with him buried to the hilt inside him. He slowed his movements again, sucking more gently until he pulled off with a slick sound. Kurt licked his lips, chasing the last taste of Blaine's pre-come as he moved. "You taste so good, baby," he whispered as he moved back up Blaine's body. He bent down, lapping at Blaine's lower lip before kissing him. Kurt's fingers cupped his cheek, caressing him, loving him to his core. Then he reached into the nightstand and felt around until his hand closed over the lube. He pulled back to drizzle a little over his fingers and then settled so that he knelt between Blaine's knees. One hand stroked over his cock while the other swirled around his hole, smearing the lube before he began pressing one finger in. "God, Blaine, you look amazing right now," he whispered as he watched Blaine's expressions.
Blaine could feel himself beginning to tremble with each touch of Kurt's tongue and hands against his skin and cock. Every sensation was heightened and he arched off the bed in attempt to get closer and feel him surrounding even more. He whimpered at the loss of touch when Kurt pulled off his cock, and sat up to meet his kiss. He needed him so bad, wanted his love. He smiled as Kurt reached over and grabbed the lube and slicked his fingers. He could feel himself tense slightly as the muscles in his body tightened with the pleasure. He soon began to relax as Kurt slid a finger against his hole and pressed it in gently, "I feel amazing," he whispered, "I want more. Please."
"Like this?" Kurt asked, and pulled out long enough to line up another finger so he could press in with two. Blaine probably didn't need a lot of prep like this, they weren't blushing virgins anymore, but it felt so good watching Blaine come apart just from a few touches. It made him feel young again. It made his heart expand, and more than anything else it made him want to fill Blaine up again and again until they both forgot the world and all it's fucked up shit and it was just them and this bed and the way they felt together. Kurt curled his fingers up, seeking the little bundle of nerves there until Blaine reacted. Then he hit it again, and once more before pulling out and reaching again for the lube that lay on the bed by his knee. This time he poured a generous amount into his palm and slicked it over himself, stroking a few times to make sure everything was evenly coated. He only wanted Blaine to feel good right now. Taking Blaine's legs in hand, Kurt shuffled forward until he could lay down over him, though he kept his weight up off Blaine at first. He teased at Blaine's entrance with the head of his cock, but it felt so warm and wet like that and Blaine was beneath him he couldn't keep it up for long. With a soft groan he began sliding forward, into Blaine's tight heat. "Oh fuck," he whimpered.
Blaine moaned loudly as Kurt slipped in another finger and began to open him up with each stroke. He felt on fire and alive. His whole body was hot and he could feel himself coming apart slowly under Kurt's touch. This moment was perfect. Being loved by an amazing and beautiful man knowing that the universe had brought them back together after years apart was enough to make Blaine's heart soar. He groaned and clenched around Kurt's fingers as he swiped over the bundle of nerves. Blaine hadn't bottomed for anyone else but Kurt so to feel this way again after so long was amazing, and the soft way he prepped him was slow, tender, and teasing. "I need you," Blaine whispered as Kurt removed his fingers and slicked himself. He smiled and opened his legs further as Kurt adjusted and positioned himself in between them. As Kurt pressed the head of his cock into him Blaine tensed. The dull ache and burn of being stretched felt amazing, and he needed more. He wrapped his legs tightly around Kurt's waist and arched up as he slid in. "Fuck I love you," he moaned out before leaning up for another kiss.
Kurt swallowed up his words in a kiss as he buried himself inside Blaine. He held as still as he could, waiting for Blaine's body to adjust as they kissed. "I love you, Blaine, god," Kurt murmured against his mouth, fingers stroking against Blaine's cheek. Beneath him, Blaine was relaxing, opening up, and Kurt slipped forward just a tiny bit more and he knew Blaine was ready. Even so, he opened his eyes and peered down at his lover. He needed that reassurance. He slowly rocked his hips back, just tiny movements meant to reacquaint their bodies with the feeling. Blaine was so beautiful and expressive, Kurt had to keep dropping kisses to his cheeks and mouth and neck. He wrapped Blaine up in his arms and whispered into his ear, "Please tell me if I'm too rough." He ducked his head against Blaine's neck and let his body start to lead him, picking up speed as he clung to Blaine and moaned against his neck. It had been so long, sex was just never like this with anyone else. Sex was impersonal for the most part. It's not that he didn't enjoy, he loved sex, but it was to satisfy a need, to scratch and itch. It wasn't because his soul had to be as close as possible to another person's. And the way Blaine felt, nothing between them, squeezing around him, burning him up. It was everything.
Blaine hummed contently as Kurt whispered words of love and care against his lips. He could feel tears burning his eyes as he met his moves and relaxed completely against the bed. He felt Kurt in him hot and hard with nothing between them, and it was like coming home. Kurt was home. He moved his hips up to meet Kurt's as he rocked slowly into him and wrapped him in his arms. "I will I promise," Blaine whispered as Kurt ducked his head increased his speed. This wasn't sex for Blaine this was love, and the feelings and the emotions were overwhelming as his mind thought about all that was to come spending his life like this in Kurt's arms. He whimpered as he pulled Kurt against him. He had never been this close to another. Even his sexual relationship with Nate had never gotten this involved, this intense or showed love. Sex for Blaine after Kurt had always been an attempt to find a connection but no one had ever filled the void like Kurt. Their bodies fit perfectly together physically and emotionally, and Kurt's moans and breathe against his neck spoke volumes to his heart and soul. "Kurt..."
Blaine was perfect. Not in some far away idealistic sort of way, but perfect for Kurt. They were made to fit each other, to love each other, and Kurt didn't even try to hide the fact that his heart was about to burst. He lifted his head, kissing Blaine as best he could even as he gasped for breath. He reached between them and curled his fist around Blaine's cock and pumped as he rocked into Blaine again and again. Everything, all the time apart, all the joy of their reunion, all the fears about Blaine's health and their future, all of it came spiraling together, filling Kurt with pure, aching love for the man in his arms. "I'm so... so close, baby. Come. With. Me," Kurt's words were broken apart but he was a clear as he could be as he tightened his hold on Blaine and drove them both faster toward their release.
Blaine moaned out as Kurt wrapped his hand around his cock and began pumping him as they rocked together. His whole body ached for release, and Kurt's cock brushing the bundle of nerves inside him made him cry out. He needed to come, and needed the release. His whole body trembled as Kurt spoke, and the need in his voice was all it took. Blaine whole body tensed as his back arched off the bed as he came in hot thick spurts across his and Kurt's stomachs before pulling Kurt tighter in with his legs as his body relaxed against the bed.
Kurt came right behind him in long shudders that seemed to go on and on and finally when his body stopped shaking he rolled carefully so that he was still wrapped in and around Blaine, but they were able to stretch out their legs a little and lay on their sides together. "I love you," he whispered and kissed Blaine. He let himself explore Blaine's mouth slowly as their bodies relaxed in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Kurt knew he needed to get them both cleaned up. In fact he probably needed to prop Blaine up in the shower, but for just right now he wanted this. He could get up and handle all the other things like a late lunch later. The only sound in the still apartment was their breathing and Blaine was warm and solid in his arms. That was all that mattered to Kurt.
"I love you too," Blaine whispered as he breathed against Kurt's lips and kissed him softly and closed his eyes. They both needed a shower but all that matter right then was the sound of their breathing and the feel of their bodies pressed together.