Dear Kurt,

I managed to escape. I felt so free. I decided to walk to the park i first saw you at. I was wishing you'd be there again and i'd ask you to run away with me. Those kids that bullied me when i was younger, the same ones you saved me from were there last night. They wanted to kill me. They could have killed me. They were trying to kill me. They were so close, they kept kicking me.

I was saved.

My shrink saved me. I don't know how he knew where to find me, but then again i think he follows me.

But you were supposed to save me.

I thought he was you.

I called him Kurt.

I was terrified.

I called him Kurt.

He just sat in the park with me and held me while i broke down.

I called him Kurt.

He kept whispering 'everything would be alright' and running his hand through my hair.

I called him Kurt.

He got rid of the bullies, they were grown men now.

I called him Kurt.

I wish he hadn't saved me.

I called him Kurt.

I feel like i am betraying you Kurt.

I called him Kurt.

i am so sorry.

I called him Kurt.

I'll still write to you.

I called him Kurt.

I think i'm starting to like him

I can't let that happen.

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29th March 1997

Dear Kurt,

I had another appointment with my shrink, he told me that he wasn't going to tell anyone that i'd ran away. I'm not sure why he is being so nice to me but he made me promise that i wouldn't do things like that ever again. He didn't ask me much so i asked him questions. His favourite colour is blue and he likes singing but he rarely sings anymore. The surprising thing about him is that he has never seen any Tom and Jerry episodes. I told him to watch it before our next meeting or i wont talk to him at all.

I had fun talking to him today. his eyes remind me of you. he has the same spark in them that i saw in your eyes.

He is a sad person. I'm not sure what is bothering him but i hope he gets to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. everyone but me.

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2nd April 1997

Dear Kurt,

My shrink decided that for our session today we'd watch Tom and Jerry and eat popcorn.

I had seen the episode so i just watched him watch it, i liked how his nose does that thing when he laughs. it did that a lot.

It reminded me of your nose.

Just as i was leaving his office he said he hadn't had this much fun in ages.

I could tell that he was telling the truth.

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6th April 1997

Dear Kurt,

Its been a week i think and this is the first time in a very long time that i've not tried to kill myself.

My shrink says this is good. He is helping a lot. He is kind to me. He is like my family now.

Do you think it would be weird if i hugged him?

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7th April 1997

Dear Kurt,

They took us out for another one of those trips, it was just us crazy people again but my shrink came along as well. i think he is lonely. we got some ice cream and i talked to him about death and how wonderful i used to think it was and how i'd imagine killing myself in every possible way. I listed things i could see that i could use to kill myself. i think i gave him a fright. i told him that i don't want to kill myself anymore and that i like spending time with him. i told him he makes me happy. as we were talking i hugged him and accidentally called him Kurt again. i shouldn't have done that. his face fell and i couldn't tell what he was thinking and he just got up and left,

im sorry.

we have been back for about 5 hours now and no one has seen him.

I had finally began to enjoy living life even if i am locked up in a loony bin i had a friend. my only friend, after you of course. i managed to drive him away from me.

it's all your fault. i should just forget you.

i've done it again haven't it.

i keep hurting people.

He's probably dead.

He's probably dead because of him.

He is dead because i was growing fond of him.

-----

20:55pm

A note slips through his office door.

I'm sorry. Can we still be friends? I liked being your friend. You were the only friend i ever had.

-Blaine x

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8th April 1997

Dear Kurt,

I wrote him a note saying sorry.

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12th April 1997

Dear Kurt,

I had another appointment with my shrink today, he still looked really sad. I asked him about it but he just shrugged it off and continued talking about me. I told him about you again. I told him i remember what you look like. I told him that he reminds me of you. I think that made him smile. he said that i am getting better soon and that they would let me go home soon. I told him that i don't have a home any more. he was quiet after that.

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00:01am

'Dad. I'm sorry for calling you so late but i need a favour... I found him dad...'