AN- Okay, loves. First of all, wow this chapter got ridiculously long. It was necessary for the flow though. Following chapters will most likely be shorter.

Secondly, after the last chapter, the lovely gottriplets PM'd me to kindly let me know that instead of the word 'prostate', I had used the word 'prostrate'. It was autocorrect I swear! I know what a damn prostate is! I write gay porn five days a week!

Oh, sweet lord! *facepalms* Let me just melt in embarrassment. Hands up for those who noticed but kept their mouths shut...

I see how it is. Well played my little porn lovers. Well played.

Anywho, because my new friend was kind enough to point out this little mishap, we decided to give the author/beta relationship a go. So, without further ado, I must thank gottriplets for being my beta! Without you, our boys would be stimulating each others prostrates.

And, as always, much love to klainenation, my 'heteroflexible' friend, who's insight truly makes this fic.

Peace,

PV

Holy fuck! What have I done?!

Kurt's eyes popped open in a sudden panic. He fought back the urge to jerk into an upright position in bed, seeing as Blaine was curled up into his side, still sleeping soundly.

He glanced at the clock. 11pm. They had only been asleep for a couple of hours.

He brought a hand up to his face and rubbed it over his eyes anxiously. Up until now, the moment when he realized that just before falling asleep he had officially asked Blaine to be in a relationship with him, everything had seemed a little surreal.

He whimpered as silently as he could, squeezing his eyes shut tight again, trying not to panic.

Only two days ago he had met this guy, who was gorgeous as fuck, and had taken him home, despite the fact that said man claimed to be straight. After an amazing time in bed, he had come to the unsettling realization that he really liked this guy. Like, really liked him. Everything drew him in, from how adorably he rambled while drunk, to how uncertain yet uninhibited he was during sex, to the way he had clung to him afterward - the way a toddler would cling to their favorite teddy bear. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Blaine that first morning after that he typically wasn't much of a cuddler.

That had been before Blaine though.

This man was turning his world upside down in ways that he never expected. He knew that this whole situation should probably be more unsettling for Blaine, but he wasn't sure if that was true. Besides one incredibly dysfunctional relationship that had lasted all of five months, he had never had anything like this before. He'd pretty much just had casual boyfriends, ones that were mostly kept around so that he could be a step above one-night stands.

He had always believed in true love, ever since he was a starry-eyed teenager. He was also a man, who had needs just like anybody else. He had never been able to stomach the idea just going off and sleeping with complete strangers, though. That was where the "so called" boyfriends had come from. They had been nice enough guys: gentlemen, fun to hang out with, good looking, decent in bed... but that was all. It was never going to go anywhere with any of them, and Kurt had known it. It had just been nice to have someone who was automatically going to be there when he called. Someone to buy gifts for besides his family and Luke. Someone who he could be physical with, without feeling like he was betraying the promise he had made his father so long ago - he would remember that he mattered.

He did remember that, and he believed it, strongly. He was no monk though, and when you continued along in life without having met your soulmate you didn't always have a ton of options.

He had actually been without someone for almost six months when he had met Blaine in that bar. His heart had skipped a beat when he had seen those sparkling hazel eyes gazing at him from across the room. Hell, it had skipped about four beats.

He had gone from heart skipping and racing to heart plummeting though when the adorable man with the puppy dog eyes had gone on to introduce himself as "straight". His initial reaction had been to walk away then and there, feeling more than a little mortified at almost having hit on a straight guy. However, what this particular straight guy was doing in a gay bar was a mystery.

The doe-eyed stranger had gone on to look at him in such an adorably desperate way though; he had decided that it was at least worth a conversation.

It had actually been quite enjoyable. Blaine was such a nice and genuine guy, straight or not. Hell, Kurt's best friend was straight. It wasn't as if he had anything against straight guys. It was that he had momentarily gotten his hopes up on meeting a cute, nice, gay man.

It had become obvious within minutes though that Blaine was not your typical straight guy. Kurt didn't know if it was the alcohol or if this guy was in the closet, but he was definitely coming on to him. Then he had come out with all of the earnest questioning about his orientation.

That was when Kurt completely believed that this guy was actually straight. Normally if a guy was questioning, and he was drunk, and had a hot gay man sitting on a bar stool next to him, he'd blurt out something along the lines of, "I always wondered what it would be like to fuck a guy instead of a girl."

Kurt had had that happen before. More than once. It was oh, so subtle... and charming. Needless to say, those same guys did not get taken home. Not by Kurt anyway.

Blaine was different, though. It was obvious that the thoughts running through his head and the things coming from his mouth were a brand new experience and quite confusing to him. Kurt's natural instinct to be a gracious and understanding friend immediately rose to the surface, and he had reassured him. Helping someone to feel at peace with who they were was always going to be more important than getting laid in Kurt's book. Even when it had been six fucking months.

Then the unexpected had happened. Kurt had decided that it was time to move on, feeling that he had reassured this guy the best he could, and suddenly those delicious looking lips had been planted on his own. All he'd been able to think was...

Holy hell, he's a good kisser!

He'd leaned into the kiss, even reciprocating, before he'd had a chance to think about what he was doing.

Then the spectacularly unexpected had happened. Blaine had asked to go home with him. Kurt had both panicked and wanted to melt into the floor. He was panicking because he'd never intended to try and sleep with this guy, even when he thought he might be gay. Kurt had a strict 'at least get to know the guy' policy.

He wanted to melt into the floor because this guy was just so fucking hot, and if his lips felt that good while kissing, just imagine how good they would feel in other places.

So Kurt did two things he had never done before. He took a man who he barely knew home for sex, and he took a man who was straight home for sex.

He had wondered briefly if he was going to go to hell.

The feelings that had followed, Blaine's talk of love and marriage before they fell asleep, Blaine's obvious panic attack in the morning... all of this had overwhelmed and confused Kurt. He felt like he was on this insane roller coaster where one minute he felt sure that this had been the most perfect experience of his life, and the next he felt sure that he was going to puke.

What had come over him, causing him to write that note, was still a mystery to him. It had taken all of his self-control to not snatch the wallet from Blaine's hands and take the note back before he left. He had meant every word. He really was positive that, given the chance, he could fall head-over-heels in love with him. He was also willing to be there for him as a friend as needed, as much as it would have killed him. The chance of Blaine taking him up on either one of those offers though, instead of being freaked out that this gay man was trying to molest and convert him, was slim to nil.

The fact that Blaine had actually read the note, not freaked out and filed a restraining order, and had even shown up to talk to him, seemed like a genuine miracle.

The fact that they had ended up making out while Blaine pushed him up against the door... well, it had taken him the rest of the evening to come to grips with that.

Before he knew it, he was telling Blaine how they would spend the next two days getting to know each other. And, you know, fucking.

All fear and reservation had been shoved aside. All he could think of was...

God, I really like this guy! I think I could actually love this guy!

And...

Holy shit, we're about to have sex and he's so hot and cute and I just want to be with him forever!

A day and a half later, he was more sure than ever that he was absolutely crazy about Blaine. It had been easy to get lulled into a false sense of security by the comfortable and fairytalish world that they had created. He actually started to believe that they could possibly be together, that they could continue to live in this perfect world where they would always be happy and only have eyes for each other. That was why he had done the unthinkable.

He had asked Blaine to be his boyfriend.

He tensed up as said "boyfriend" snuggled down into his chest.

Shit! He had actually asked him to be his boyfriend! Holy, fucking shit!

He had never once in his life cared this much about someone and now that he finally did it was all wrong. He had, at last, found someone who he genuinely wanted to be with, even desperately wanted to be with, and that guy was straight.

Kurt struggled to take a deep breath, his mind racing frantically from one thought to the next.

Sure, he's agreed to be my boyfriend, but it was probably only to be nice and he's gonna leave once the novelty wears off and I'm gonna be left all alone once again only THIS time it will be with a broken heart and I'll end up binge eating ice cream for a WEEK STRAIGHT and Blaine will never even know because I won't say anything because I'm always the strong, solid one in other people's lives and I'll just let him walk away even if it KILLS me and HOLY HELL WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO BREATHE?!

The growing feeling of panic suddenly overwhelmed him and he knew that he couldn't possibly stay in bed. As carefully as possible, with shaking hands, he nudged Blaine off of him and quickly bolted from the bed.

He threw on a pair of pants that were lying on the floor. They were the pair Blaine had worn and they smelled like him.

God, it was so hard to breathe

He dashed to the window in the living room, the one that led to a tiny balcony, and struggled with the latch. His fingers were shaking like crazy at this point, and he couldn't quite get a grip on the lock. He cried out a little in frustration, slamming the latch open with his fist.

He couldn't even begin to describe what had happened. The room had suddenly seemed to close in on him. He had to have fresh air. He had to be able to breathe. He climbed out on shaky limbs, and sank down on the grated metal with something between a sigh and a sob.

What the hell is wrong with me? Oh my god! I'm crying! Seriously! What is wrong with me?!

He buried his face in his hands, not understanding why he still couldn't breathe. And why was he so hot? And why did everything feel so close and claustrophobic? He was outside for goodness sake!

The fear and uncertainty just made everything worse and he started something that he would have called hyperventilating if he hadn't known any better.

"Hey, you."

Kurt's heart jumped into his throat and if possible, his panicked breathing grew even worse. He quickly jerked his face away when he caught a glimpse of Blaine's face peering out at him from the window.

"Fuck! Oh, fuck! Kurt, are you okay?!"

In a clash of metal, Blaine was stumbling through the window and slamming down on his knees next to Kurt. The model tried his best to turn away even further, mortified for Blaine to see him this way, but Blaine would have none of it.

"No! Don't pull away! Oh my god, what's wrong? What's going on?"

He snatched up Kurt's hands in his own, moving to press a kiss to his palms. He pulled back though, with a scared look on his face before the kiss could land.

"Shit," he hissed. "Kurt, you're bleeding. What the hell happened?"

Kurt looked down in confusion, and was shocked to see a significant amount of blood dripping down his hand and arm.

Huh. I must have done that when I punched the window.

He just stared at the blood in dumb shock, not even feeling it for some reason. Blaine gazed at him with incredulous concern and yanked his t-shirt from over his head. He gently dabbed at the excess of blood before carefully wrapping the cut to stop the bleeding. Kurt tried to jerk his hand away.

"You don't... *gasp*... have to..." he couldn't finish. It was so hard to talk.

Why is it so fucking hard to talk?!

Everything seemed difficult and overwhelming.

God, why does this feel so overwhelming?!

"Of course I do!" Blaine exclaimed, tying off the edge of the t-shirt so that it would stay in place. He settled down close to Kurt and looked at him in concern. "Kurt, have you ever had an anxiety attack before?"

Kurt's eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head no. Was that what this was, a freaking anxiety attack?

Blaine swallowed hard, breath hitching when Kurt doubled over for a moment, gasping for air. Kurt shifted from his seat anxiously. He felt antsy and shaky, like he needed to move, but couldn't quite bring himself to do so. He righted himself and drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself and rocking back and forth. Blaine reached out his hands as if to touch him in a comforting manner, then pulled back, looking uncertain.

"Fuck! What do I do?! I don't know what to do!"

He muttered 'fuck' under his breath one more time before dashing in through the window. Moments later he came diving out once again, this time almost falling on his head as he stumbled over the ledge. Kurt would have laughed at how comedic it looked had he currently been able to breathe.

"What... *gasp*... are you doing?"

He was eyeing Blaine with concern when he saw that the other man was holding his phone and frantically pushing buttons. He had images of Blaine dialing 911 and wanted to die of embarrassment.

"I'm fucking googling anxiety attacks because my boyfriend, who was perfectly fine only two hours ago, seems to be having one and I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do!" Blaine shot out in a squeaky voice, not looking up from his phone.

"You don't... *gasp*... have to call... *gasp*... me that."

"Call you what?"

Blaine looked at him in genuine confusion, and was shocked when Kurt looked at him with a pained expression.

"Boyfriend."

"What?!" He snapped. "Why wouldn't..."

He trailed off when his google search popped up and he read the first tip for dealing with someone who was having an anxiety attack. Scratch that. Panic attack.

Panic attack, anxiety attack. They're the same thing, right?

1. Speak to them in a reassuring but firm manner.

Fuck! I already messed up!

He knelt down and took Kurt's injured hand, grasping it firmly and rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

"Why don't you want me to call you that, Kurt?"

"Because... *gasp*... I know... *gasp*... you'd rather... *gasp*... not."

"Kurt, that is absolutely ridiculous! What in the world made you think..."

He stopped himself short. He had already messed up once. Better check his guide again.

2. Do not minimize their fear in any way. Dismissing the fear can make a panic attack worse.

Shit! I'm not allowed to talk until I read.

He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Kurt," he started again gently. "I promise that I want to call you my boyfriend. I promise, but can you tell me why you think that I wouldn't? Whatever I did to make you think that I'm so sorry and I'll fix it."

"You didn't... *gasp*... do... *gasp*... anything," Kurt almost sobbed.

Oh, christ! I just sobbed! I don't sob! Now he's gonna think he really is dating a girl. I am so fucking done!

"Then what?" Blaine had to work incredibly hard at keeping his voice calm and steady. "Please tell me why you're freaking out so I can help."

Kurt just shook his head, hyperventilating so quickly that Blaine was positive he was going to pass out.

He quickly glanced down at his phone again, looking for more advice.

3. Stay calm and don't pressure the individual. This is not the time to force them to come up with answers.

Fuck me! I am such a terrible boyfriend!

He quickly read on though, not wanting to make the same mistakes.

4. Encourage them to control their breathing.

I can do that.

5. Keep them cool.

Check. We're already outside.

6. Don't leave them alone.

Never.

7. Remember that the feelings are real and that their thoughts may be racing.

Double check. Don't be an insensitive dick.

He let out deep breath and set his phone aside, taking both of Kurt's hands in his.

"Okay. It's gonna be fine. Whatever is wrong. It's gonna be fine."

Kurt shook his head quickly, pushing Blaine away with shaky hands and looking down at his feet.

"Please... *gasp*... just... *gasp*... go."

"No."

Kurt looked up in surprise at the forcefulness in Blaine's voice. There was an edge of panic there that the other man was obviously working hard to keep at bay.

"No, Kurt," he repeated, scooting close once again. "I don't know what the hell is going on, but there is no fucking way I am leaving you. We're in a relationship now. You asked me, remember? I want to be with you. I need to be with you. I'm going to make sure that you're okay and I'm still going to be here once you are. You are not getting rid of me. Not this easily."

Kurt just stared, still gasping a bit for breath, but the shock of what Blaine had just said seemed to finally ground him. Blaine saw the sudden change in his demeanor and decided to take full advantage. He took Kurt's hands in his again, mindful of the awkward bandage.

"Come on, you're already doing better. Just breathe with me, k?"

Kurt gave an unsteady nod and locked eyes with him. They were both sitting cross-legged, knees touching, and holding hands between them. Blaine continually stroked the backs of his hands and repeatedly took in slow, deep breaths, then let them out carefully. Kurt did his best to imitate him.

It was hard at first, his breaths were short and jagged, seeming to continually get caught in his chest and throat. Eventually though, they evened out and he was breathing the same as Blaine's.

All throughout, Blaine kept whispering little things like...

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

And...

"I'm here. I want to be here. I'm not going anywhere."

And lastly, the one that went straight to Kurt's heart...

"I've got you, babe. I've got you."

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he felt like himself again. Well, himself - only so mortified he just wanted to disappear. He looked across the tiny balcony at Blaine. His amazing boyfriend of only a couple hours who had already seen him at his worst and had not been scared off. His amazing boyfriend who was staring at him with concern filled eyes, lovingly stroking his hands.

The panic may have gone, but a heaviness was building in his chest. He looked down at himself, at his oddly bandaged hand and arm and the drops of blood smeared over both his and Blaine's pants. He wasn't even wearing a shirt. He knew that snot had to be crusted up around his nose from the crying. He knew that his eyes were red and that his face was puffy and unattractive. How could Blaine ever want to be with him, especially now?

Blaine sighed heavily, seeing that Kurt was finally calming, and reached up a hand to smooth back the sweaty hair that was plastered to the other man's forehead, moving to gently stroke his cheek. He ached when he saw the obvious fear of rejection in Kurt's eyes, and wordlessly scooted over so that he was directly up against Kurt's back. He wrapped his arms around Kurt and just sat there silently. At first Kurt stiffened, not moving away, but not exactly comfortable either. He breathed a sigh of relief when Kurt eventually relaxed against him. A little bit at first, and then fully. He leaned forward sightly in order to hold his boyfriend's weight, holding him even tighter and pressing soft kisses to his cheek.

Kurt closed his eyes at the feeling, and eventually rested his head back on Blaine's shoulder. They stayed that way for several minutes, before Kurt started to shiver from the chill. Blaine placed one last kiss against his hair and sat up, pulling Kurt to his feet.

They climbed in through the window, still silent, and Kurt quietly let Blaine lead him into the bathroom. Blaine sat him down on the edge of the tub, and Kurt took the opportunity to wash his face while Blaine rummaged around under the sink for a first aid kit. When he found one he sat down, and carefully unwrapped the t-shirt. They both winced at the sight of the jagged cut going from Kurt's palm to up past his wrist.

"I don't think it's going to need stitches. It's not too deep," Blaine said softy, wiping it down with antiseptic and wrapping it with a bandage. Kurt nodded wordlessly, eyes focused on his newly bandaged arm. When he spoke- it was in his normal, confident voice, only now Blaine knew better. He knew the insecurities that lay beneath.

"Well, you've officially seen my crazy. I'm not going to be offended if you cut and run."

Blaine just kept adjusting the bandage, suddenly smiling.

"The morning after we first slept together you saw me attempt to put my pants on backwards, then slip and fall flat on my face because of how much I was freaking out about the possibility of you seeing me naked. You were so nice to me. You even reached out to tell me how much you like me. Why didn't you cut and run when you had the chance?"

"You had the right to freak out a bit," Kurt responded with a shrug, then finally had a smile of his own. "Plus it was just plain funny to see you fall on your own face."

Blaine snorted as he set the first aid supplies aside and scooted closer to Kurt on the edge of the tub, pulling one of Kurt's legs up and over his.

"Funny for you, babe. Let me ask you though. Why is it okay for me to freak out and not okay for you to freak out?"

"I don't... I wasn't... I'm not..." Kurt faded away when he realized he didn't really have an answer for this. He hadn't thought about it quite that way. Blaine just smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"That's what I thought. Have you never had anyone to just tell you that it's okay to freak out sometimes?"

"I've never freaked out like this," Kurt admitted softly. "I'm always the epitome of calm. What the hell do you do to me? I feel like you've managed to flip everything in my world upside down."

"Maybe that's what you need in your life. Someone to flip everything upside down."

Kurt laughed uncertainly.

"That's fine until I scare you off with my continual freakouts."

"Kurt," Blaine pulled back to look at him carefully. "You're not going to scare me off. Not because of something like this anyway. Why are you so convinced that you will?"

When Kurt just looked down at his hands instead of responding, Blaine sighed again, feeling a bit at a loss. Hearing his frustrated exhale, Kurt looked up quickly.

"I-I want to tell you. Everything that's bothering me. I just, I'm still trying to figure out why I got so upset in the first place, and this whole panic attack thing... it's just really unnerving. I've never done anything like this in my life."

"Oh, babe," Blaine smiled, squeezing his hand and pulling him to his feet. "Come on. I'm going to give you an amazing massage and if you feel up to it you can tell me everything."

"Oh god, you're so perfect!" Kurt sighed happily, bouncing a bit at the word massage and springing off to his bedroom in front of Blaine.

Minutes later, they were settled on Kurt's bed. Kurt was face down and groaning happily while Blaine straddled his hips and rubbed out all of his boyfriend's tight muscles.

They were both fairly quiet for the first couple of minutes, until Kurt started speaking tentatively. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was finally relaxing, or the fact that he could speak honestly without having to look Blaine in the eye, but he finally felt free to talk.

He told Blaine of waking suddenly and going into sudden panic mode when he realized what he'd done. He went on to tell him every fear and anxiety, rational or not, that had been running through his head, leading up to the resulting panic attack.

He had to give Blaine credit, he listened carefully the whole time without interrupting, only hesitating in his movements on occasion when Kurt said something that he found surprising. When Kurt was finished, feeling much more relaxed and lighthearted- both from the massage and from unloading all of his fears, he lay still, waiting for Blaine to respond.

He was happy when the curly-haired man immediately climbed off of his hips and plopped down next to him on the bed. They both settled up on their sides and Blaine laced their fingers together in the middle.

"Kurt, I can't promise you that we'll always be together, but... I don't think that you're really asking me to."

Kurt shook his head quickly, showing that Blaine was right. God, he'd never expect to be promised something like that. Blaine nodded carefully before speaking again.

"I feel like your biggest fear, beyond the fact that this is the first time you've ever felt like this about someone, is that you're feeling this way... about someone who's straight, and that's absolutely terrifying for you."

Kurt had to work hard at not looking away. He knew that this was pretty much the moment of truth. If they we going to have a chance in hell it would be as a result of this conversation. He could not wuss out and look away. If he wanted this, really wanted this, he had to suck it up and put himself completely on the line.

"Absolutely terrifying is a pretty good choice of words," he said softy. "Can... can I ask you something? It's going to be pushy and intrusive and uncomfortable, but I think it's necessary."

Blaine nodded wordlessly, feeling certain that he knew what Kurt was going to ask.

"How are you feeling about your orientation? How are you feeling about how you want to identify yourself? And, Blaine? You need to know that whatever you say... Whatever... It's fine. There's no judgment from me and no expectations. I just, if we're gonna make this work I need to know. I need to understand where you're at."

Blaine sighed, scrambling over so that Kurt could snuggle him onto his chest, and pulled the taller man into a crushing embrace.

"Kurt, you are the one who's perfect. I can't imagine anyone else being so understanding."

Kurt just responded by placing a kiss on the top of his head, then stayed silent, waiting for Blaine to continue.

"I don't know for sure, Kurt," Blaine responded uncertainly. "I have to honestly say that my first instinct is to say that I'm still straight. I know that seems crazy, since I am with you and I want to be and god, I'm so fucking attracted to you..."

Kurt exploded with a little laugh.

"Oh, honey, you don't have to convince me of that. You were basically begging for my cock to be up your ass yesterday. I feel pretty confident about your attraction to me."

Blaine buried his face down onto Kurt's chest and groaned in embarrassment.

"Oh, lord. I really did beg for it, didn't I?"

"Hey," Kurt pushed Blaine back, flipping him over so that he was on top and leaned down for a kiss. "Do not be embarrassed about that. It was so hot."

"Really?" Blaine asked with a blush, pulling Kurt back down and kissing him softly. "It wasn't, like, needy?"

"Oh, it was needy," Kurt laughed, "but in the best possible way. Geez, Blaine, what guy doesn't want his partner begging to be fucked? It was so..."

He nudged Blaine's lips open with his own, dipping his tongue inside for a gentle, damp kiss.

"Fucking..."

He slid his hand down Blaine's bare chest, letting it rest on the waistband of his pants, sliding a finger underneath.

"Hot."

Blaine moaned and thrust his hips upward, really wanting a little contact, and sighed happily when Kurt ground down into him. They quickly started a gentle rhythm of rubbing against each other, but Kurt shook his head suddenly and pulled away.

"Nonono! We have to finish this conversation. This is important."

Blaine groaned and dropped his head back down on the bed.

"Fine. You're right. Where were we?"

"We were discussing the fact that you're apparently still straight."

Blaine sighed and squinted one eye, trying to figure out what their next move was.

"How do I even really know if I am still straight? Doesn't the pure fact that I am with you and am attracted to you mean that I'm gay?"

"I don't think so, sweetie," Kurt smiled a bit sadly. "I feel like someone's orientation has more to do with their natural biological reactions to people of the same or opposite sex, not exclusively who you fall in love with, even though it's admittedly rare for them to differ."

They both blushed at the word "love", but didn't press that particular issue right now.

"Okay," Kurt patted Blaine's arm excitedly before plopping down on his back next to him. "We're gonna perform a little experiment. Close your eyes."

Blaine looked at him oddly, but shrugged and closed his eyes all the same.

"Do you remember that girl who was bartending a ways down from us on Friday night? The one with the black tank top?"

Blaine couldn't help the grin that crossed his face.

"Yup."

"K, picture her. I'm doing it, too. You got it?"

"Yup."

"K, you know what I see?"

"What do you see, Kurt?"

"I see a girl in serious need of a bra fitting. I had to fight back the urge to give her the card of my wardrobe manager."

Blaine chuckled, shaking his head.

"Okay. It's your turn. Tell me what you see."

"I don't think this is a good idea Kurt."

"Yes it is. Tell me."

"You're gonna be mad."

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. You're gonna be mad and then you're not gonna talk to me and then we won't have sex and then I'll be sad."

"Give me some credit please."

"This is a bad idea."

"Just do it!"

"Fine! Boobs! Huge, glorious boobs! I see huge, glorious boobs that I just want to bury my face in and... oh god, I have a ginormous boner now!"

...

Blaine started when he felt a sharp smack to his bare stomach.

"Stop thinking about boobs."

"I told you!"

"Nope, it's fine. I can handle it. Just stop it right now."

"It's hard to get a picture like that out of my head, babe."

"Picture my gorgeous ass."

"Ooo, that did the trick. My boner is unfortunately not going away now though."

"I'll take care of it for you soon. Promise. On to the next test subject."

Blaine sighed and clasped his hands tightly, trying really hard to not reach down and palm himself in the middle of their little experiment.

"Ready. Shoot."

"K, now do you remember our particular bartender? The one who was wearing the leather vest and was intent on getting you as drunk as possible?"

"Um, I think so. Brown hair? Nose ring? Some funky tattoo on his shoulder?"

"That's the one. What do you see when you think of him?"

"I dunno. I don't see anything other than what I described to you. He's just a dude."

"No attraction? Not even the tiniest bit?"

"Nope. I just remembered being grateful that his chest had been waxed because I didn't need to worry about hairs falling into my drink."

"How's your boner?"

"Huh! Waddaya know? It's going away! Why, what do you see?"

"Are you kidding me? I see perfectly sculpted abs, and an amazingly defined chest, and those arms! Fuck... Oh, great. Now I'm the one with a raging boner."

...

Kurt was the one to jump when he felt a little smack to his arm.

"Stop thinking about that guy's abs."

"I will quote you and say that it's a hard picture to get out of my head."

"And I will quote you in saying that you should just picture my gorgeous ass instead. Either that or boobs."

"Awww, crap. You had to mention boobs. There goes the erection."

Blaine laughed and rolled to his side, nudging Kurt. The model opened his own eyes that were filled with amusement and rolled up next to Blaine so that they were pressed up against each other.

"Well," Kurt sighed. "I feel like that was a pretty sure answer to our questions. I'm totally gay and you're awfully straight. You're not totally straight, because of reasons," he gestured to himself with a cocky look, which caused Blaine to roll his eyes, "but you're definitely not gay like me."

"I'm gay FOR you," Blaine grinned, slipping his hand around Kurt's waist. "I must be a new kind of 'sexual' that the world has never seen before. I'm 'Kurt-sexual'!"

Kurt laughed, but couldn't help the sad expression that fell over his face.

"I'm just really nervous, Blaine. I'm so terrified that one day you're just gonna wake up and be tired of this and decide it's time to be with a girl again."

Blaine nodded slowly, gripping Kurt's waist a little more tightly.

"Are you just gonna decide one day soon that you're tired of putting up with a straight guy? Are you gonna decide that you'd rather be with someone who can understand you a little better? Understand what it's like, day to day, to be gay?"

Kurt just stared, feeling his eyes water up a bit.

"I guess it's the same, huh? We both have kind of irrational fears where this is concerned."

"Exactly," Blaine said quickly. "Irrational fears. We can't help it. Look, we both got a bit of a raw deal here. We've both fallen head-over-heels for someone completely unexpected. Yes. My life would probably be easier if I was with a girl. Your life would probably be easier if you were with a real, gay guy. I don't want a girl though, Kurt! I want you! I only want you! And if, God forbid, something should ever happen one day where we split up, it won't be because one or the other of us decided it was time to be with someone of a different sex or orientation. It'll simply be because we just didn't work. I have to be honest though. I don't really see that happening. I kind of see us being together for the long haul. God, I just want to be with you, Kurt! Please just let me be with you!"

Blaine's voice had cracked a bit by the end and he was shaking his head kind of desperately, as if he was trying to convey just how badly it would hurt him should Kurt reject him now.

"Oh, honey," Kurt rushed out in a rough voice, yanking Blaine to him, threading his fingers through the curls. "Yes, we're gonna be together. God, yes. I don't want anyone other than you, too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for freaking out tonight. I just want you. We'll figure it all out."

"You don't have to be sorry." Blaine's voice was muffled from being pressed into Kurt's shoulder. "I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to be real with me. Always. I just want to be with you and I don't want irrational fears to stop that."

"Okay," Kurt whispered, moving back to find Blaine's lips. "We're together. You and me. In a relationship. Boyfriends. One gay guy and one straight guy."

Blaine let out a choked kind of giggle and met Kurt's lips fiercely.

"One thing's for sure. We'll always have an interesting story to tell at dinner parties if we're so inclined."

"True," Kurt giggled back, biting his lip and thinking that they both sounded like ridiculous twelve-year-old girls. He loved that he really couldn't care less.

"So," Kurt sighed, pressing Blaine down into the bed as he brushed kiss after kiss onto his lips, slowly dragging his hand down to Blaine's erection, which had joined the party once again. "What do you want to do now, my boyfriend?"

Blaine sucked in a sharp breath and arched his back as Kurt slipped a hand down his pants.

"I'm going to take you at your word and believe that you found it incredibly hot for me to beg for your dick. Please fuck me, baby. Fuck me with your huge dick."

"Oh, shit," Kurt whined, immediately diving on top of Blaine as he squirmed out of his pants. "I'm so going to love being your boyfriend."