June 10, 2013, 7:04 p.m.
A Fresh Start
All We Ever Wanted: Chapter 8
E - Words: 3,888 - Last Updated: Jun 10, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 20/? - Created: Sep 24, 2012 - Updated: Jun 10, 2013 810 0 3 0 1
Wednesday Evening
"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck..."
"Addy, just pick someone."
"Don't rush me, Elly!"
Kurt and Blaine walked in through the front door feeling exhausted and worn beyond belief, but the moment they heard the laughter and little voices they smiled at each other brightly. They stopped just short of the doorway so they could observe while unseen for a moment.
Elly, Liam, Cara and Paul were all sitting in a circle on the living room floor. Paul was holding Tia in his lap and Addy was standing just outside the circle. She had one hand resting on Cara's head and the other hand on her hip. She was glaring at her brother in exasperation while he gazed back at her with a look that clearly said he was being incredibly patient.
"It's called 'Duck, Duck, Goose' Addy. Not, duck times a million, then goose."
"If people only ever said it twice then you'd always know who was gonna be picked!"
His eyes widened then. "Wow. You're right! I never thought of it like that. Go ahead."
She nodded her head in satisfaction and took a deep breath in order to start again. Paul looked at Addy with a twinkle in his eye while Cara bit her lip lightly to hold back a giggle.
"Let's keep it to somewhere under ten ducks though, princess."
She smiled happily at her grandpa and nodded as she started ducking again. Blaine was leaning up against the doorway, gazing at them contentedly. Kurt stepped in behind him and wrapped his arms around the nurse's waist, pressing their cheeks together while they watched the kids.
"Duck, duck, duck, duck... goose!"
Addy lightly tapped Cara on the head before dashing off around the circle. Cara groaned good-naturedly as she attempted to scramble to her feet. Paul reached out a hand to give her a little leverage but by the time she got to her feet, Addy had already made it all the way around the circle and dashed into Cara's vacated spot. The teen turned around to look down at the little girl who was giggling madly as she peered up with sparkling eyes.
"That's no fair!" Cara shot out with a laugh. "I feel like I should be given a handi-cap!"
"What's that?" Addy asked.
"It means that you should have at least given her the time to get to her feet before running, stinker." Blaine spoke up with a laugh as he broke from Kurt's arms and stepped into the room. "She's carrying a whole extra person around with her."
Six pairs of eyes turned expectantly in their direction as Kurt joined his husband in the room.
"Daddies!" Addy yelped, jumping to her feet and running over to tackle them both with a hug. Elliott ran after her, followed shyly by Liam. Tia promptly crawled out of Paul's arms and scooted her way over toward the commotion.
Cara watched the scene and a sense of peace filled her. Watching the two men hug and kiss each of their kids was yet another affirmation that she had made the right choice.
"Will you play with us?" Elliott asked as he wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. The doctor was just about to answer when Baine snatched Tia up from the floor and reached out a hand for Liam.
"I'll play, kiddo. Daddy's been working all day. Let's let him relax for a couple minutes. I'll take Cara's spot. Come on. Tia and I will go together."
Addy and Elly hopped after their father excitedly and dove back into their places next to Grandpa Paul. Cara gratefully took a seat on the sofa and Kurt joined her, slipping out of his lab coat. He eyed her hesitantly.
The two of them hadn't had any time alone yet, and he was a little nervous. She and Blaine had obviously hit it off today. It was like they were long lost siblings. Blaine was like that with everyone though. The man could meet someone and become their best friend in less than an hour. Kurt had always had a harder time connecting with people. His tendency to be quiet and reserved sometimes gave people the impression that he was stuck-up, making it difficult to form quick bonds with people. He thought back to the first time he had met Blaine and his awkward attempt to hide his sudden attraction. The doctor remembered sticking his foot in his mouth repeatedly during that late-night meeting in the emergency room.
When he did bond with someone though, it was because the person stuck around long enough to see the real him... and the real him was definitely worth getting to know. He was one of the most loyal and loving friends a person could ask for. Thank God Blaine had been the type of person to stick around. Kurt was certainly thankful for that... every single day.
He swallowed his nerves away. Knowing that the more worked up he got, the more awkward he would come across. He just really wanted Cara to feel completely comfortable with both of them. If he somehow ended up being the reason that Cara changed her mind, he would never have forgiven himself.
"So," he cleared his throat. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," she sighed contentedly. "Tired, but I'm tired all the time right now."
"Are you getting enough sleep?" He asked in concern.
"I try. My back keeps hurting though and it's hard to get comfortable."
Ah, medical stuff. He thought happily. Now this is something I know I can't screw up.
"Have you tried one of those body pillows they make for pregnant women? They're designed to wrap around you and support your stomach, legs and back. Obviously I don't know from experience, but I've heard from more than one pregnant patient that they are a dream come true." She looked at him with interest.
"No, I haven't! I'll ask my dad if he'll get me one of those!"
"Oh, we'll get you one," Kurt said quickly. "In fact, please tell us if there is absolutely anything that you need. Maternity clothes, or just anything at all for yourself. Blaine and I are happy to pay for it. It's the least we can do."
When she grew serious and looked down at her lap, he felt panic set in.
"I-I'm not trying to... buy you off or anything weird like that! I promise, I'm just trying to be nice. We want to help take care of you if we can. Not that we think it's our place! We know your father takes great care of you. I just..."
He trailed off and stared at her with wide eyes.
Oh my god! Why didn't I stick with medical advice! What the hell is wrong with me?!
Her bottom lip twitched a little and her cheeks grew pink. Suddenly she let out a huge snort and threw her head back in laughter. He covered his face with his hand, pointedly ignoring Blaine's questioning look from across the room.
"Oh, Dr. Hummel. Thanks. I really love a good laugh," she grinned widely. He removed his hand from his face to look at her hopefully.
"I didn't scare you off with my awkwardness?"
"Not in the slightest," she smiled, wiping a mirthful tear from her eye. "I'm going to say the same thing to you, that I said to your husband earlier." Her expression grew serious then and he watched her attentively. "I'm not going to change my mind. You guys are the ones. I know it. I see how amazing you are. Any 'awkwardness' is just you wanting this to work so badly. If anything, I'm the one who wants to impress you. I'm asking you to take in my child and love it like you would your own." Kurt smiled softly then as he turned to gaze at the four children playing on the floor.
"Not one of those kids are 'mine', biologically, but they're all mine." He turned back and looked at Cara earnestly. "This one will be too."
"I know," she nodded, her eyes misting up just a bit. "That's one of the things that stood out to me when I first read about you guys, especially you Dr. Hu... Kurt." She noticed his eyes light up when she changed to calling him by his first name.
Oh, Blaine was right!
"When I saw that you adopted your foster son and that you adopted each other's children I got this, kind of thrill of excitement. You're exactly what I was looking for."
He tried to speak, but was a little choked up at her words. They just smiled at each other goofily then for a moment.
"Okay, guys. Bedtime!"
They looked over when the older kids groaned out loud at Blaine's announcement, but got to their feet. Kurt went to stand, but Paul motioned him back.
"This is what I'm here for. You've had a long day. I'll get them all in their pajamas and you two can tuck them in."
"You don't have to do that, dad," Blaine spoke up as Paul swung Tia up into his arms.
"Of course I don't, but I want to. All I did today before coming here was sit on my backside and watch ESPN. Trust me, this is good for me."
Without another word Paul gathered all the little ones and herded them toward their bedrooms. Blaine headed over and placed a kiss on his husband's lips before turning to Cara.
"How was today? Was watching the kids too much?"
"Are you kidding? I had a blast!" She grinned. "Tia's a doll and Liam is such a quiet, little sweetheart. Addy and Elly are so much fun too. I swear I'd think they were fraternal twins or something if I didn't know any better. They are so close. They actually finished each other's sentences at dinner."
Kurt and Blaine looked at each other with a grin. This happened frequently with Addy and Elly. They even jokingly called them 'the twins' within their own family.
"Seriously, I've had the best day, guys," Cara said, looking at the earnestly. "I would be thrilled if you let me do this for you as much as I can over the next couple of months."
"I'm glad," Blaine smiled. "We talked about it at the hospital today. We're so excited to have you around. Not just to help with the kids though. We're excited to spend time with you." Kurt nodded enthusiastically and she grinned at the both of them with a blush.
"Look, you guys keep on talking," the nurse said as he stood to his feet. "I'm gonna go make us something to eat, Kurt. What did the kids have for dinner by the way?"
"I made them grilled cheese," Cara called after him as he made his way to the kitchen. "It seemed like a fall sort of meal."
"Ooo, grilled cheese! That sounds really good actually. You game, baby?"
"Sounds wonderful, honey. Thank you!" Kurt called after him. He turned back to Cara then, the both of them feeling considerably more relaxed after conversing with Blaine. He just had that affect on people. Cara grabbed a little throw pillow and propped it behind her back before speaking again.
"Just so you know, I wasn't bothered by you wanting to buy me things. Well, not in the way you thought. I just don't want you to feel obligated. You don't owe me anything in that way. I've heard some crazy stories of girls pumping adoptive parents for all they're worth. That's not me. I wouldn't do that to you guys."
"I know you wouldn't," Kurt gave her an understanding shake of his head. "It's easy to tell that you're not like that. We want to do whatever we can for you though. This is a huge, huge thing you're doing for us, not to mention you're going through something incredibly difficult yourself. Let us do some nice things for you. Not because we're trying to 'buy you off' and not because you're trying to 'pump us for all we're worth'. Simply because we can, and we want to, and you deserve it."
She looked him in the eye before swallowing back some tears.
"Thank you. That means a lot. Just promise you won't go nuts."
"We won't," he held his hands up in the air in surrender. "While we're talking about it though, what are some things that you need?"
When she bit her lip hesitantly he shot her an authoritative look.
"I can see that you're thinking of some things already. Spill."
"Well," she began hesitantly. "I really could use some new maternity clothes. Not much, maybe just a new pair of jeans and a couple hoodies. I can order them online from Old Navy. They've got a really great maternity section now!" She finished with a smile. It faded when she saw his face. He was biting the insides of his cheeks and nodding with a pained expression on his face. She was just about to apologize for being presumptuous when he quickly shook his head.
"Oh, please! For the love of god, let me dress you up in something cuter than an Old Navy hoodie! I swear, you and Blaine really are long-lost siblings. There's an 'a pea in the pod' in town. We can go shopping there!"
She looked at him incredulously.
"I was in there with my dad one time. I picked up a sweater and it was like a hundred dollars. I could buy ten thing from Old Navy for that price. No way! You said you wouldn't go nuts! That, in my opinion, is nuts." He pouted for a second before looking at her hopefully.
"Okay, look at it this way. I'm not doing you a favor. You're doing me a favor." She started to roll her eyes and he hastened to speak before she could say anything. "No, hear me out. I love fashion, Cara. Seriously, love it. Love it as much as you would stereotypically expect from a gay man. If I hadn't become a doctor I swear I would have been a designer. This will be my one and only chance to dabble in the world of maternity clothes. It will be so much fun for me and you'll get an incredible wardrobe out of it. It's a win-win."
He looked at her imploringly for a moment before she gave in and nodded cheerfully.
"Yes! You won't regret it! You're going to be the cutest dressed pregnant girl in all of Ohio!"
"Oh, are we dressing her up?" Blaine asked excitedly from the kitchen, hearing Kurt's exclamation.
"I am, not you." Kurt called with a smile on his face. "You're the one who tried to send Addy to school in pants that were two inches short a month ago, calling them capris. I don't entirely trust your judgment, darling."
A curly head poked out from the doorway with narrowed eyes as he stuck out his tongue. Kurt and Cara both laughed.
"Thank you so much, Kurt. Really," she smiled sincerely. "And thank you for letting me stay here while my dad is traveling. It's nice for so many reasons."
"Of course, honey. We're here for you, for whatever you need. Please know that," he said fervently, his excitement over the clothing set aside. She tried to swallow away the emotion building in her chest, as she looked into his caring eyes. All she could see in this moment was a father's loving eyes, looking at her with concern, and she was overwhelmed. She had expected this kind of thoughtfulness for the baby. She hadn't expected it for her. She threw herself into his arms then. He froze for just a moment before hugging her back, rocking slightly with a small smile on his face.
They both started suddenly, then laughed when they felt a sound kick coming from Cara's stomach. Kurt pulled away and moved back a bit on the couch.
"So you're feeling a lot of movement then?"
"Tons," she sighed. "Another reason that it's hard to sleep at night."
He nodded sympathetically and looked down at his lap. It was so quick that she almost missed it. A quick flash of longing in his eyes. He was much better at holding back his emotions than Blaine. The nurse's eagerness had been almost tangible. She smiled brightly and reached over to take his hand, placing it on her stomach. He looked up excitedly.
"You don't mind?"
"Not in the slightest. For the next two and a half months, my stomach is your stomach. Okay, that was weird, but you know what I mean."
He laughed and leaned in eagerly, gently placing his other hand on her rounded abdomen, waiting to feel a kick.
Blaine entered the room a couple minutes later, carrying two plates and wondering at the sudden quiet. A warmth spread through him at the sight he found. Kurt was leaning down with his cheek on Cara's stomach between his hands, just as Blaine had been this morning. His eyes were closed and a dreamy smile was on his face. Cara looked up at Blaine and grinned happily. The nurse set the plates down and kneeled on the floor next to his husband, leaning his head on Kurt's shoulder. They sat there for the next little bit in silence, feeling their baby move together, both thinking that this was the perfect ending to the day.
Wednesday Night
"Well, everyone is tucked in and asleep... in their own beds for once." Blaine laughed a little as he walked into their bedroom and shut the door. Kurt was sitting up against the headboard with a medical journal in his lap. He pulled off his glasses and smiled tiredly at his husband. "Dad is gone, but he said he'll be back in the morning to take El and Addy to school for us. Cara is settled in the guest room next to Tia. I tried to convince her to take the one at the end of the hall so she wouldn't get woken up in the middle of the night, but she insisted. I think she may have sneaky plans of getting up with her if she wakes in the night. She mentioned that we both look tired, which I told her was just a veiled way of saying we look old." Blaine pulled his shirt over his head and turned to Kurt with a grin. It faded quickly though when he saw his husband looking stoic and tracing invisible patterns on the page of the journal.
"Hey," he asked gently as climbed onto the bed. "What's up? Are you just thinking about Brandi and what we should do?"
"That's part of it," Kurt shrugged. Then he shook his head and tossed the journal aside, sinking down under the covers. He reached up a hand to wipe away a tear in irritation. "It's nothing. I'm fine. It's just been a long day where a lot of monumental things have happened. I'm kind of overwhelmed and exhausted I think." He plopped down on his pillow and pulled the comforter up over his head.
Blaine sighed and went to turn the light off, before setting his own glasses aside and climbing into bed. He slid in next to Kurt, pulling him into his arms so that the doctor's head was resting on his chest. He didn't say anything. He didn't push. He just held his husband close, knowing he would say more if, and when, he was ready.
"I just don't understand," Kurt finally whispered.
"Understand what?"
"The world!" Kurt snapped. Blaine stayed silent, feeling the sting of Kurt's sharp voice, but knowing that the doctor's aggressive tone was not directed at him.
"There are two beautiful children asleep in our house right now, and one at the hospital, who are depending on us because they can't depend on their parents. Their mother beat them and starved them, Brandi's father did god knows what to her, and Tia and Liam's father couldn't even be bothered to leave the state to come and see if his kids are okay! He is letting some social worker that he doesn't even know pick people to take care of his kids."
"Well," Blaine responded hesitantly. "Seeing as Finn's the unkown social worker and we're the people being picked we can just be grateful for his dumb luck. I guess..."
"That doesn't make it okay, Blaine!" Kurt interrupted as he shot up in bed. Blaine sat up slowly, watching Kurt warily.
"What's really bothering you about this, honey? I get that this is terrible. It makes me sick to think about those kids being mistreated. I know you though. There is something deeper eating at you."
Kurt looked pointedly away before drawing his knees up to his chin and wrapping his arms around his legs.
"Three grown people. None of them could be counted on to take care of their own children. There are four kids in this house, five if you count Cara's baby, who aren't really mine, yet I would do anything within my power to take care of them and protect them."
"I know how you feel..."
"No, you don't! Not completely!"
"What are you taking about, Kurt?" Blaine asked with narrowed eyes, starting to feel defensive. He loved those kids just as much, and was hurt that his husband would insinuate otherwise. Kurt looked up then and sighed heavily when he saw the look on Blaine's face.
"I'm not saying that you don't care about them just as much as me. I'm saying that you don't know what it's like to take care of them all, knowing that not a single one of them is really yours."
Blaine was silent then. Now he knew what Kurt was saying. No matter that Elliott had been with Kurt practically since he was a newborn. Biologically, he wasn't Kurt's, just like the rest of the kids.
"God," Kurt sighed, burying his face in his arms. "I feel like I'm betraying Elliott or something by saying this out loud."
All of Blaine's irritation melted away then and he scooted over, pulling Kurt into his lap.
"Kurt, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. There's nothing wrong with saying it out loud, especially to me. I'm just... I was surprised. You've never once said anything like this to me."
"That's because ninety-nine percent of the time I honestly don't feel this way," Kurt said softly. He was feeling uncharacteristically timid and uncertain. He curled himself into Blaine's arms, nuzzling into his neck. "And tomorrow, I'll go back to my normal self. It's just, tonight... I'm exhausted and sad and overwhelmed. I'm angry at the unfairness of the fact that those people had three beautiful children of their own and they completely abused that privilege. I'll never know what it's like to create life... and I really am okay with that... ninety-nine percent of the time. Tonight's just my one percent of being off."
"Not off," Blaine said softly. "Just real. Always be real with me. You're so amazing Kurt. You're so steady and strong all of the time. Please don't think that I ever expect that of you. You're allowed to break, just like the rest of us."
Kurt nodded against Blaine's chest.
"Well, the real me is gonna be a mess tonight."
"Then be a mess. I'll be here to clean it up... you know, emotionally speaking."
Kurt laughed at that, but all of his emotions were so intense and near the surface that they felt connected and jumbled together. His laughter quickly turned to tears and before he knew it he was sobbing into Blaine's shoulder, clinging to him desperately.
Blaine tightened his grip and held his husband close, determined to let him be real, even if he had to sit there all night. That's what you do for the ones you love.
Comments
The scene at the end with Kurt was breathtakingly beautiful. Real. I love it. Pardon me while I wipe away a tear. BTW - I read you as a guest in FF too, and I want you to know that I saw your AN there and am saying a little prayer for you and your daughter today!!
Thank you!! I appreciate it :)
i feel so badly for kurt! poor guy. thankfully he has blaine!