It had been 3 weeks. 3 weeks without Kurt. It was too much. The world had darkened around him. This weekend Carole and Burt had gone to Michigan and left him in the house by himself, Carole had noticed him getting more and more unhinged. He had kept his promise and told her how he was feeling when he felt low, and she took away the pain by just being there for him. But now he needed her more than ever.

He was on his laptop and decided to check on Facebook, he looked through Kurt's photos. The ones in New York. He smiled looking through them, seeing his boyfriend smiling happily with Rachel, Finn and other new faces he began to recognise. He felt sad though, like he was missing out. Like he was missing Kurt and Kurt wasn't missing him.

He had started back at school just over a week ago, the new recruits had joined glee club. He was the new co-captain along with Tina. But he had yet to sing a solo. Whenever he tried to sing out his feelings, he ended up looking too deeply into them and breaking down. He wasn't risking that in front of Glee. They were beginning to sense his slowly growing depression. He couldn't sing an upbeat number either. He just couldn't master the energy and ended up just giving up. So he wondered why he was even co-captain in the first place.

School was just bringing him down now. So was being home alone. He needed Carole, he needed her because he could feel a certain feeling coming back, one he could never tell Kurt he was feeling. Kurt knew he had felt it in the past, but telling him now was a whole different matter. The feeling was worse than he'd ever felt it. Before it was the feeling of not being good enough, so he might as well die. This time it was the feeling of wanting to hurt himself for not being completely happy for Kurt and for lying to him.

Before, it was the feeling of wanting to cut. This time, it was the feeling of needing too.

He needed someone. He went to phone Kurt, the phone rang 3 times.

"Hi, Blaine!"

"Kurt?"

"Blaine, are, are you crying?"

"Y-No. I have to go now. Bye Kurt."

"Blaine wait!"

He choked out the last line. "I love you."

He went to the bathroom to wipe away the tears. He picked up a razor instead. "I'm sorry, Kurt. But it's what I deserve. For being crap. A crap boyfriend. A crap person." He dragged the blade across his arm. The blood poured out. He had gotten what he deserved.

-

Kurt was in a panic. What could that call have meant? He had tried to phone again but his phone was off. He called Burt, but he hadn't heard from the boy. So Burt asked Carole. Her face fell. She knew she couldn't do anything if he wasn't answering his phone, so she left a message on the landline number.

Blaine was sitting in the lounge when he heard the phone ring. He saw it was Burt and Carole and picked up.

"Blaine, are you okay?" Carole asked worried.

Blaine burst out into tears, "I can't talk now Carole. I just can't."

"Blaine, you need to tell me what's happening."

"I just feel lonely, I'll go for a walk. If i still feel upset I promise I'll call?"

"Okay honey, but just remember that even if we're a plane flight away, I can still be here for you."

"Thanks Carole." He sniffed and hung up.

But he couldn't tell her. Nobody could ever know.

-

It had been a week since the incident. Kurt was coming home today. Blaine went to get dressed and saw his reflection. He had cuts all over his arms and thighs, he just sighed. He wasn't focusing on that now. This was it. 2 weeks of just him and Kurt: bliss. He pulled on a long sleeved top and cardigan. He couldn't let Kurt see.

Within an hour he was at the airport waiting. His face hurt from smiling and he stared at the gate like it was the opening to wonderland. Then he saw him. His beautiful porcelain skin, his slender, tall figure and his beaming smile, his eyes filled with tears as they ran towards each other. Falling into each other's strong arms they both broke down, tears streaming down their faces landing on the other ones shoulders. In perfect synchronisation they broke the hug and kissed each other. It was everything they had been waiting for. Warm, passionate and filled with love. They kept kissing and hugging and crying, in-between each kiss one of them would say how much he'd missed the other or how much he loved him. They felt warm inside. They were home.

After about 15 minutes of sobbing and kissing and just holding one another, they broke apart. Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes. His beautiful eyes and he found everything he had needed this past month. "Kurt...I..." Then he broke down again. Kurt caught him. "Blaine, what's wrong? You've seemed upset since last week, when you called...I didn't know what had happened and I was worried stiff." Blaine opened his mouth to tell him the truth. "I just really missed you, Kurt." He said snivelling. A white lie. Nothing untrue. Just not giving all the details out. "Oh, sweetie come here." Kurt held his boyfriend close; he knew there was something else. He was going to find out.

-

Blaine helped put Kurt's bags in the boot of his car and climbed into the drivers seat, with Kurt on the other side. "Radio?" He asked.

"Sure!" Kurt nodded.

A familiar song came on and they both hummed along. Then they heard the opening bars to the next song and it was though it was meant to be.

You think I'm pretty,

Without any make up on,

You think I'm funny,

When I tell the punch line wrong,

I know you get me,

So I let my walls come down,

Down,

Kurt sat silently mesmerised by Blaine's voice just as he was nearly 2 years ago. Blaine knew that this would happen; he sang it, directly to Kurt this time. He sang with all his might, meaning every lyric.

Except one. "So I let my walls come down" These words stuck in his throat. But he powered through.

You make me feel like I'm living a,

Teenage dream the way you turn me on,

I can't sleep,

Let's run away and don't ever look back,

Don't ever look back,

He continued to sing out with all his might. He had forgotten how this had felt, to sing. To really sing. Kurt could almost hear how much he needed this and became worried. When Blaine finished he said simply: "I mean it Kurt, my heart does stop when you look at me. You're my missing puzzle piece. Like I said in my letter, you're a part of me. And my god have I missed that part."

Kurt flushed a tremendous red. "I missed you too, Blaine. So very much, but we have two weeks now to be together. Let's not focus on being without." Blaine nodded in agreement. He knew if he even tried to speak now, he would cry again and he was not prepared to let down his guard in front of Kurt another time. He'd so nearly told him every little thing, it was using everything he had to not break down and pour out his heart. But he just couldn't, he knew how upset it would make Kurt and he wasn't prepared to do that.

-

Later that night Blaine and Kurt were spooning as per usual on their bed-Blaine being the little spoon of course-Kurt could tell he was feeling the need to be held today, so he held him close. Blaine smiled at the warm breath on the back of his neck as he turned around to face his lover. He kissed him softly and then again a little bit harder. He felt Kurt's hot tongue asking for permission to be let in. He gratefully accepted. Their kissed were getting hotter by the minute. As Blaine rolled over to be on top of Kurt the two began to kiss more passionately and deeply, and every minute and second began building up and becoming more.

Kurt bit ever so slightly on the bottom of Blaine's lip. The way he knew drove him crazy. He heard Blaine moan and smiled. He loved the feeling of knowing he was the one making Blaine melt. Blaine's tongue was slowly mapping out the inside of Kurt's mouth, even though he knew it perfectly by now. He had missed him so much.

He began to ever so slowly unbutton Kurt's shirt and took it off of him, he moved in towards Kurt's neck biting in and sucking leaving a mark, Kurt pulled off Blaine's cardigan and t-shirt and spun them round so that he was on top of Blaine. Their hot skin touching was like fireworks, both of them having gone a month without being kissed, let alone anything more. Kurt leaned in to kiss Blaine, aching for more, aching to be kissed and touched when he saw something on Blaine's arm. He took no notice, and carried on kissing Blaine, but as he opened his eyes he saw another like it.

There we're cuts on Blaine's arm. He stopped and looked towards the other arm, there were more there. He looked deeply at them, feeling sick and saw it. Under Blaine's left wrist, scratched in oh so finely that it must have been done by something as thin as a needle were three words.

I miss you.