Chapter 7.

It had been half an hour and Kurt was still in the bedroom on his own. Blaine could hear him quietly crying and it broke his heart. He could hear Kurt's quiet sobs and each one tore at his heart. When he heard Kurt make a muffled sound that resembled a puppy being kicked, he gave up waiting for Kurt to come out. He walked over to the door and tapped gently against the wood. "Kurt? Open up, it's me." He said tentatively.

"Go away." Kurt snivelled. "I want to be alone."

"Let me in, please. I can't bear hearing you cry." Blaine begged, pushing his forehead against the cold, hard wood that separated them.

"Really? Because just a moment ago you were jumping at the chance to accuse me of lying!" Kurt snapped.

"Kurt, I just wanted to know why you would tell me why you were acting upset. I just want to make sure you're okay. I could tell something was bothering you and you were lying by saying you were okay."

"Wait, that's it?" Kurt asked.

"Of course, what else have you got to lie about?"

Kurt's body flushed with relief. He wasn't caught. He opened the door and threw his arms around Blaine's neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry, I over reacted! I should've just told you why I was upset. I'm sorry." He cried into Blaine's neck.

"Hush, it's okay. Do you want to tell me why you were?"

"I...I uh...I just felt so stupid! I felt so awful that I can't remember things! And then with the memory thing, I thought you were accusing me of lying about it ALL!" Great. Lying again.

"It's not your fault, love. I'm sorry if I've been pushing this too fast for you, I just...dammit." He tried to stifle back his tears. "I love you so much and it freaking hurts so bad that you don't know who I am. I'm so unbelievably pissed off at the world for taking your love away from me that I just want something, anything, any memory, no matter how small, to show me that there's hope for us. I never for one moment thought you were lying though."

Kurt's heart sank in his chest. Finn was completely right. Blaine was amazing, and he was also waiting so desperately for any kind of sign that Kurt would remember, and Kurt was selfishly keeping that hope from him.

"Blaine...I'll always love you." He had intended on saying everything, admitting to his lies. But he couldn't, not when Blaine was looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing on the planet, not when Blaine was holding his hand so gently because he wanted to be oh so careful of Kurt's feelings. What kind of repayment would that be?

Before he could even try to master up the courage again, Blaine's soft lips were on his. They tasted of coffee and of something else that was oh so Blaine, something that again sparked something in his brain. Those lips were familiar, they were recognisably Blaine's lips. He was, in that moment, completely determined to get back every last memory that went with them.

-

Kurt woke up the next morning with Blaine's arm trailed around him and their fingers intertwined. Kurt smiled and kissed the hand he was holding gently. "Morning." He heard Blaine say from behind him. He turned to face him, letting go of his hand so he could, and the hand he was once holding began to play softly with his hair. He smiled softly and relaxed against Blaine's soft but firm hands.

"How long have you been up?" Kurt asked.

"Mmm, about half an hour." Blaine said and then placed a kiss to Kurt's forehead.

"You should have woken me!" Kurt protested.

"No way. I was fine on my own. I like watching you sleep anyway. You're so peaceful, it's beautiful. You're beautiful, always." He stroked the side of Kurt's cheek with the thumb of the hand that was playing with his hair.

Kurt smiled in response and kissed Blaine chastely. Inside though, he was heartbroken. Blaine was so stupidly perfect. He was such a sap all the time, and while that should be making Kurt feel happy, it was tearing him in two. How was he supposed to lie to someone who said things like that every hour. How was he supposed to do this to him? To make it worse, the only person he knew he could always turn to, the one who would love him unconditionally, was the one he needed advice about.

He was well aware of the mess he was making. He was even more aware of the fact that the longer he left it, the worse it would get. He did not want to upset Blaine under any circumstances. That was why he was doing this in the first place. But now it seemed like anything he did about this was just going to make things worse and with Finn's treats added.

Finn's threats. How is that even fair? He's not a part of their relationship at all. Why is he getting so involved in all of this. To be fair, if Finn wasn't involved in the first place, they wouldn't be together right now, but that isn't the point. The point is that Finn was just going to make things worse and-

"Kurt?" Blaine asked for the third time as he tried to shake the other man out of his daydream. "Kurt, are you okay? You've gone really pale."

Kurt took one look into those big, worried, brown eyes and felt ill. The nervous butterflies left his stomach and were replaced with dread. He hated that feeling and it made him feel even sicker.  He gulped slightly and knew what was going to happen next. Blaine got up quickly and grabbed the empty trashcan from the side of the bed and put it in front of Kurt just in time. Kurt threw up violently into the trashcan and felt Blaine's hand sturdily rubbing on his back as he stopped. But oh, that just made him even guiltier which made him feel even more sick and oh god he was throwing up again. He just needed to say it, get it out. But the thought just made him feel even queasier.

He waited another minute and, when he was convinced nothing else was coming out, he sat back up. Blaine grabbed some tissues off of the nightstand and wiped Kurt's chin for him. He threw the tissues into the trashcan and grabbed some more to wipe Kurt's eyes. He helped Kurt lie back down in bed; he tucked him under the covers and placed a kiss to his forehead, then swept the hair off of it.

He left the room with the trashcan to sort it out and Kurt was left alone. He was shaking, but he wasn't sure if it was from being sick or from feeling so nervous and guilty. After a few minutes he heard Blaine enter the room again. He rolled over in bed to face him. "Sorry." He muttered.

"What for? Blaine asked as he sat up next to Kurt, who was lying down, on the bed, stroking his hair softly.

"I don't know. I'm just sorry."

"Well don't be, silly." He leant down and kissed Kurt's head and then sat back up leaning on the headboard. "You can't help it if you're ill. Rachel's coming down in ten, I need to go grocery shopping."

"We went yesterday." Kurt said. "Why would we need more?"

"You need some Powerade and some cinnamon fruit toast." Blaine said simply as he got up and started getting dressed.

"What? I mean, how did you- Oh, right."

"Four years." They said together. Blaine chuckled slightly and pulled on some skinny jeans and a t-shirt that fitted oh so well.

"You don't need to get me anything. I'm not even ill, I just, got myself overworked up about all of the stuff from last night."

"Shut up dummy, don't even try to complain. You're on bed rest until at least 2 o'clock. Then we'll see how you are after that." He pressed a kiss to Kurt's nose and tucked him in even more, tidying up the side of the bed that he had messed up by sitting on.

The door bell rang and he smiled, "That's Rachel, I'll see you in no more than an hour."

"Okay. And Blaine? Thank you." Kurt smiled softly after Blaine as he left.

Blaine quickly ran back to the bed and kissed him on the lips. "It's okay." He said.

"Ugh, I just kissed you with vomit breath."

"Mints in the top drawer." He replied and went to answer the door.

A minute later and Rachel entered the room. "Okay." She demanded. "Sit up, out it."

"What?" Kurt asked, confused.

"You're not ill. You get ill when you're stressed. So what's up?"

Kurt was taken aback. God, he must've got much closer to Rachel over the past years than he'd meant to.

"I kept thinking about how much I was lying to him and Finn's treats to tell and I spaced out, and he was looking at me so worriedly and I felt so guilty and it was too much. Hence the up chuck."

Rachel shuddered. "Then why don't you say you had a sudden memory whilst he was out. I can say you fell asleep, you wake up as he comes in to check on you, you wake up and say you've remembered everything that you have so far."

"Rachel Berry, you are a genius. Thank you!" Kurt squealed and threw his arms around her.

"And you smell like vomit." She replied, peeling him off.

"Sorry..."

-

Blaine came back from the shop as fast as he could. He still needed to go and find Finn first though. He wanted to pick up all of Kurt's favourite films from Finn and Rachel's house. He knocked on the door and Finn let him in.

"Rachel said Kurt was ill?"

"Yeah, he threw up this morning, but he's claiming he'd just got over worked up about the whole memory thing. I just came up to get him all of his films and anything that'll make him feel better."

"Over worked up? Over what memory thing?" Finn asked. "He was uh, fine round here."

"He came back from yours acting odd, and I asked him why he was upset and he said he wasn't, so I asked him why he was lying and he just, like flipped and said he thought I meant he was lying about the memory thing. We made up, but he's been on edge since." Blaine said, the worry evident in his face as he spoke.

"Blaine, dude. I gotta tell you something. You won't like it though and I don't think Kurt's gonna like that I told you either. But, dammit. You deserve the truth man!"

-

Blaine opened the front door to his and Kurt's apartment. His heart was in pieces. Kurt was lying to him. He didn't care about the fact it wasn't that big of a lie really, it was a lie, and it broke his heart that Kurt was doing it to him.

"Hey, Blaine." Rachel smiled, getting up from the couch. "Kurt's asleep, but- are, are you okay?"

"Fine." He snapped.

"You just look like you've been crying, that's all." She said. He looked at her and collapsed into her arms as he cried even more.

"Finn told me." He cried.

"Oh. Well then, I'll go tell Kurt that you know. He might take it better from me." She suggested.

"No. I'll do it when he wakes up. Thanks though, Rachel."

She left promptly and Blaine entered the bedroom. "Blaine?" Kurt asked, sitting up as he feigned sleepiness by rubbing his eyes. "Blaine, it's you! Oh my god, you'll never guess what?"

"What?" Blaine asked bitterly.

"I just had a dream and remembered-"

"The Karofsky incident, meeting me and everything up until the conversation with Burt and Carole?" Blaine spat. "No, you remembered that two days ago!"

Kurt looked up at Blaine like a deer in headlights. He had well and truly stepped in it now.