The TARDIS lurched sideways and they were sent tumbling to the ground as it struck something and crash-landed.
Kurt and Blaine pushed into a sitting position, rubbing their now sore heads as the Doctor leapt to his feet and dashed over to the consul, typing furiously as he tried to figure out what happened.
“What just happened?” demanded Kurt, struggling to his feet.
“We’ve hit something.”
“Yeah, we guessed that much,” said Blaine, standing as well. “What did we hit?”
“I don’t know…the only way to find out is to go outside.”
“Is it safe for us to do that?”
The Doctor nodded, turning back to his screen, “Yes, we’ve landed on Faerieland. The air is similar enough in nature to Earth’s as is the terrain.”
“Faerieland?” scoffed Kurt, “you mean like with actual fairies and gnomes and things like that?”
“Well they’re not the only ones who live here, Kurt. Come on; let’s go see what we hit.”
The Doctor strode forwards and pushed open the doors of the TARDIS, waltzing outside without a care in the world; Kurt and Blaine hurried after him and stepped out into a world that neither of them had been expecting.
Kurt had been picturing a place full of rainbows and unicorns running everywhere and Blaine had been thinking of rolling green hills lit with eternal sunlight.
Instead, they were standing in a shadowy forest with a floor of mire which the TARDIS had somehow become lodged in.
“Ah-ha, there! That’s what confused the TARDIS and set it off course,” exclaimed the Doctor, pointing to a clump of bluish-green lights clustered around the upper branches of a willow tree.
“Lights?” asked Kurt.
“Not just lights, will-o-the-wisps. They’re entire purpose is to drive people off the wrong track and they can interfere with directional instruments and the TARDIS is no exception.”
“Okay, so how do we get it out?” asked Blaine.
“Well we need to clean it off first. That mire isn’t just mud, but contains the eggs of the will-o-the-wisps which still have enough power to screw up directions. See those little lights along the bottom? That’s what those are.”
“It’s going to be pretty hard to clean if it’s stuck in the mud.”
“Thank you for pointing that out, Kurt, yes it will be. I should be able to move it out of the bog at least and set it down somewhere clean and then we can get out of here. Unless, you two would like to have a look around after we’ve got the base cleaned?”
“I wouldn’t mind it,” said Blaine, glancing at Kurt.
“Sure why not.”
“Excellent, let’s get back in then and I’ll get us moved.”
They entered the TARDIS again and were soon exiting once more as the Doctor found a grassy field to touch down in. Armed with soapy rags, the trio set about removing the mud from the TARDIS, making sure that the eggs were far from the TARDIS before
declaring their work done.
“Will the eggs be okay?” asked Blaine, looking at the clumps of softly glowing mud with some concern.
“Don’t worry about them,” said the Doctor, “they’re safe in the mud for now and their parents will come to collect them come nightfall. Now, shall we have a look around?”
The Doctor led the way down a short incline and they made their way across the rolling pastures of Faerieland. The place was shrouded in a fine mist all around and they could hear the distant sound of rushing water somewhere in the distance.
“We’re in the Lochs,” explained the Doctor, “that’s why it’s so wet here.”
“I wish I had worn different shoes,” mumbled Kurt as his knee-high boots squelched in the wet grass, light mud bubbling up around them.
“You were the one who decided not to change into a pair I have back in the TARDIS.”
They spotted a small figure in the distance and the Doctor grinned, waving a hand to the stranger.
The stranger returned the gesture and was soon trotting towards them—literally. The thing had the lower parts of a goat along with two short horns sprouting from its head. The rest of it was human in nature and grinned happily at them as it came to stand before them.
“Ah, an urisk,” said the Doctor, “hello. I’m the Doctor and these are my companions, Kurt and Blaine.”
Kurt and Blaine waved at the urisk; smile a little uneasily at the strange creature.
“I am called Sho,” the creature replied, “it is nice to meet you.”
Kurt had been expecting the urisk to bleat, not the deep voice that came from him.
“May I help any of you with anything?”
“No, we’re just travelers,” said the Doctor. “You can walk with us if you want.”
Sho’s grin widened and he nodded vigorously, “I would like that very much!”
“Come along then. So, how has it been going here?” asked the Doctor as they walked along.
“Oh, it…it’s fine,” said Sho and even Kurt could tell he was lying.
The Doctor glanced at him and Sho quelled under his curious gaze.
“Okay, no it’s not! We’re not supposed to speak of it though.”
“Speak of what?”
“I just said we’re not supposed to speak of it,” retorted Sho.
“Oh, you can tell us. We promise not to tell anyone.”
Sho fidgeted before crooking his finger, beckoning for them to lean down to hear him as he whispered: “My herd is being attacked.”
“Attacked?”
Sho nodded, “All the urisk herds are being threatened.”
“Threatened by what?”
Sho’s eyes darted around obviously terrified to continue. Under the Doctor’s scrutiny, however, he caved.
“By a water imp named Glastig who has taken over the Loch Regions along with her army of nuckelavee.”
A glint entered the Doctor’s eyes and Kurt groaned internally as he knew what was
coming next.
“How is she threatening you?”
“She takes our crops, clothing and money on a monthly basis.”
“Why don’t you band together and stop her?”
“We would be no match against nuckelavee. Besides, we’re not fighters.”
“There’s more ways to fight then through brute force.”
“What do you mean?”
“You need strategy. When is she due back?”
“In only a couple of nights,” said Sho.
“Then we need to work fast. Bring me to your herd and let me speak to your leader.”
The Doctor strode after Sho as the goat man trotted off in the direction of his herd.
“We’re going to die in a place called Faerieland, aren’t we?” asked Blaine.
“It’s a shame how my old high school bullies wouldn’t even understand that irony,” replied Kurt.
Sho led them to a marshland dotted with straw and wood huts, urisks trotting her and there and speaking to each other. It was easy to tell that the creatures had haunted looks about them and Kurt felt a pang of guilt for even thinking that it would be wrong not to help them.
The urisks stopped what they were doing as they caught sight of Kurt, Blaine and the Doctor. A few of them even scurried away at the sight of strangers while a few of the braver ones trotted forwards, halting a few feet away from them.
“Sho, who are these people?” asked one of them.
“This is the Doctor, Blaine and Kurt,” said Sho, pointing to each of them in turn. “I must speak with the Elder.”
“The Elder sees no one.”
“But these people can help us get rid of Glastig.”
At the name, the remaining urisks bleated in fear and scampered off, save the one that had been doing the talking.
“Are you insane? You cannot just speak of her, Sho!”
“Water imps don’t appear at the sound of their names,” the Doctor piped up. “I doubt it will bring her here any sooner.”
“One can never be too sure, Doctor, was it?”
“It was. What are you called?”
“Rho, you still can’t see the Elder.”
“This Elder, I take it he’s the one in charge?”
“Yes and no one sees him.”
“Maybe he’ll make an exception for people offering to help save your people from this Glastig and her nuckelavee army.”
Rho’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as he glared at Sho, “Did you tell them everything?”
Sho nodded guiltily, taking a step back so that he was closer to the trio.
Rho sighed in agitation, “Fine, we’ll go see the Elder then and tell him what you’ve done.”
Rho turned on his hoof and trotted off into the marsh, the others following close behind him.
They were brought to a hut nestled between two trees growing so close together that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.
Rho knocked on the reed door and a voice told them to enter.
The hut was lit by a single candle, casting long shadows on the figure seated in the chair in the middle of the room.
“I thought he didn’t see anyone?” Kurt said sarcastically, casting a sideways glance at Rho.
“Do not speak before you are addressed!” snapped Rho.
“Silence, Rho,” said the Elder, “Who are you people; more servants of Glastig?”
“No, quite the opposite in fact,” replied the Doctor, “we’ve come here to help you if you’ll let us?”
“Against Glastig?” inquired the Elder.
“The very one,” said the Doctor.
“Why would you help us?” asked the Elder after a moment of silence.
“Does it matter just as long as we do? We swear we don’t want anything in return.”
The Elder considered them for a very long time before saying, “What would you propose we do?”
The Doctor smiled, “First, we need to contact the other herds and see if we can’t get help from them as well, whether or not they agree, I’ll tell you the rest of my plan after we’ve met with them.”

If someone had told Kurt that he would be putting up a barricade alongside goat men he would have told them to lay off the pot, but that was exactly what he was doing.
It was one night away from this Glastig’s visit and they had collected drift wood and chopped down heavy branches from nearby trees on the same day he, Blaine and the Doctor had arrived and the rest of the urisks had agreed that they too wanted Glastig gone.
Now they were dragging heavy logs all around the villages of the urisks and tying them together with thick vines.
“We will be ready for her now,” declared the Elder as he limped his way around the villages, inspecting the barricade.
“Just as long as our weapons work too,” said Rho, eyeing the machines covered in long cloth sheets to hide them from prying eyes. Not that Kurt thought there would be any prying eyes since the barricades were tall enough that an elephant couldn’t see over them.
He had to hand it to the urisks once they got an idea in their heads they worked fast to achieve it, which is why they had started work on building the barricades at sunrise of that day and completed them at sunset.
“Just don’t let your fears get the best of you,” warned the Doctor. “If you do I doubt the plan will work.”
The Elder clapped the Doctor on his shoulder, “Don’t worry, Doctor, we won’t.”

Kurt could feel the tension thick in the air the next night as they stood on the platforms jutting out from the inside of the barricade to allow them to see over the tops.
He felt his heart beat faster as darkness settled over Faerieland and he straightened up with everyone else as a figure emerged from the heavy fog.
“That’s her,” Sho whispered at his elbow, “Glastig.”
Glastig rode on a snow white horse with flaming red eyes. Glastig was a beautiful woman dressed in a flowing, green dress but as Kurt’s gaze traveled down to the water imp’s feet, he saw that cloven hooves were in the stirrups.
Is everyone here half goat? Kurt wondered as the white horse stomped forwards, tossing its head.
Glastig pulled up outside of the barricade, her horse dancing along the edge of the thing as she gazed up at it.
“What is the meaning of this, urisks?”
“We have decided not to cater to your whims anymore, Glastig!” shouted the urisk Elder.
“Is that so? Have you forgotten the army I have at my disposal?”
“We dare you to get past the barricade!”
“Very well,” Glastig muttered. She raised a trumpet to her lips and blew on it in three, short, bursts.
A few seconds of silence passed, but then Kurt felt like his heart would burst from his chest at the sight of the creatures that soon moved out of the surrounding marsh and galloped towards them.
They reminded him of nightmarish versions of the Greek centaurs as they had the upper bodies of men attached to equine bodies. However, that was where the similarities ended. These beasts had elongated faces with gaping maws and sharp teeth that protruded past their lips and their heads were at least ten times larger then the average man’s. This was not the most frightening features of the beasts, though. They had no skin, putting their yellow muscle structures and bulging veins on display, the entirety of their bodies coated in a fine, red film that Kurt suspected was blood.
Kurt felt his braver dwindle as he watched the monsters gather around their commander and he automatically reached out for Blaine’s hand.
Blaine took it and squeezed much harder then necessary, his palm drenched with sweat. Kurt glanced up to see stark terror in his friend’s eyes and he squeezed their hands together again in a futile attempt to reassure them.
“Glastig, wait!” The Doctor’s cry echoed across the marshland and the water imp lifted her eyes to the man standing amidst the urisks.
“What creature are you?”
“I’m a Time Lord, but that’s not important. I want to know why you have decided to come after such peaceful creatures as the urisks?”
“Because they are easier to control then the others,” she laughed.
“Is that only reason?”
“What other reason do I need?”
The Doctor clenched his jaw and Kurt saw his grip tighten on his sonic screwdriver.
“If this questioning is over, then I’d like to test this pathetic defense that the goat men have created.”
“Do your worst.”
“Very well,” she raised the trumpet to her lips again and blew one long, clear note on it.
The nuckelavee gave wild cries and rushed forwards, hooves pounding at the wood as their long, claw-like nails tore chucks of the logs out.
Kurt felt like his knees were about to buckle, but he pushed the feeling away and dropped to his knees beside the rope connected to one of the weapons. The dagger cut through the last of the rope and he heard shocked screams as the weapon was released.
He gripped the top of one of the barricade posts and hoisted himself up enough to look down at the scene. As soon as the rope had been cut, small doors had dropped out of the way and sharpened stakes were thrust forwards and into the nuckelavee that had been unfortunate enough to attack the barrier head-on.
The nuckelavee cantered out of the way of the stakes and began circling the barricade, searching for weak points.
Kurt lowered himself back down and watched as the Elder raised a battle axe above his head and cut through a clump of rope tied to a post in the middle of the village.
More screams from the nuckelavee filled the air as cauldrons of hot tar titled forwards all along the barrier and struck the nuckelavee along the backs.
Kurt didn’t bother looking at these results; a rancid smell that he supposed was burning flesh was enough to let him know that it had worked to an extent.
“Are you ready to give up yet, Glastig?” shouted the Doctor.
Glastig didn’t answer; instead Kurt could hear her yelling at the nuckelavee to continue in their attack on the barricade.
Kurt risked a look over the top of the barrier, ignoring some of the burnt corpses nearby, and concentrated on watching Glastig speaking rapidly with one of the nuckelavee.
Finally, the thing snatched the horn away from the water imp and blew on it, three urgent blasts that his people responded to as soon as it was heard.
The monstrous horse men galloped back into the marshland and out of sight.
Glastig screamed in aggravation and looked up at the urisks celebrating on the barrier; many of them making what Kurt assumed were rude gestures.
“This is the end of it, Glastig!” shouted the Elder, “Your days of stealing from us are over!”
“We’ll see about that, urisk!”
Nevertheless, Glastig tapped her heels against the flanks of her stead and the red-eyed horse galloped off into the trees again.

“Thank you so much for your help, you three,” said the Elder the next morning.
Kurt, Blaine and the Doctor stood outside of the barricade still encircling the villages. The corpses of the nuckelavee had been removed the previous night but Kurt could still see patches of dried tar here and there.
“It was no trouble,” said the Doctor.
“Yeah, we’re just glad we could help,” agreed Blaine.
“At least now you know how to defend yourselves if they come back,” Kurt added, feeling he should say something.
“All three of you are welcome back here anytime you wish,” said the Elder.
They bid farewell and headed back for the TARDIS.
“Can we please go someplace where no one’s trying to kill us?” asked Kurt as the Doctor went over to his control panel.
“I’m sure that will happen soon enough,” said the Doctor. “Give me a destination and we’ll see if we have better luck there.”
“I’ve always wanted to go to Ireland,” said Blaine.
“Oh, me too,” agreed Kurt.
“Ireland it is then,” said the Doctor.
He flicked a switch and the TARDIS was soon in the Vortex once again.