Chapter 5

"Cooper, Kurt. Kurt, Cooper." Blaine introduced them with a grimace. Cooper and Blaine started speaking too rapidly for Kurt to piece the few words he understood together into some sort of sense. Cooper clearly knew about fairies if he was in the middle of the movie about them on Blaine's phone. Kurt's relief was short lived as Cooper kept frowning and Blaine started to sweat.

Kurt hated seeing Blaine looking so upset. He reached across the table and took Blaine's hand in his, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back. Cooper let out a squeak. Kurt yanked his hand back trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. They'd spent quite a bit of time holding hands even before Kurt became the same size. This was the first time it was truly making him crazy not being able to talk to Blaine. He could ask for cookies but he hated that he couldn't ask what was causing all the tension.

He gave up worrying about it and drank his coffee, which had cooled considerably. The mocha was even better than the cookie and he drank down the rest in several long gulps.

"Mocha, please," Kurt said. Cooper goggled and pointed at Kurt, who started to fidget. He wanted to know what Cooper's problem was. As best Kurt could tell, he was being polite. Blaine and Cooper continued to argue as soon as Blaine came back with another mocha and they were getting louder and louder. Kurt sipped his second drink figuring they could bicker as long as they wanted if Blaine kept getting him mochas.

It wasn't until Kurt finished his second drink that he realized he had a problem - he needed to relieve himself. He was hesitant to go outside like he did at Blaine's house. Cooper's underwhelming enthusiasm for Kurt's presence made him question the exact etiquette in a situation like this.

"Blaine," said Kurt softly, hating to interrupt. "Blaine," he said louder. Blaine stopped and gave Kurt his full attention. Kurt didn't know the word in human language, so he said the word in fairy that he always used before he went outside to relieve himself. Blaine's eyes widened. He hoped that meant Blaine had figured out what he needed.

Blaine got up and gestured for Kurt to follow him. Cooper stayed in his chair, frowning as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Kurt went after Blaine into the bathroom and he realized that Blaine had not understood what he meant. There was a sink like the one he got water out of for Kurt's bathes and doors similar to the one on the shower, except theses weren't clear. He didn't need to get clean. Kurt might have to go outside and take care of himself regardless of what was socially acceptable.

Kurt blinked, uncomprehendingly, as Blaine waved his hand at a white thing on the wall with a small shallow basin on the bottom. He said the word for relieving himself again. Blaine pointed at the rectangle. Kurt held up his hands and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't understand," he said, using the phrase he'd spoken more than any other since Blaine had started teaching him words for concepts and not just words for physical things.

Blaine unfastened his pants and proceeded to relieve himself against the rectangle. Finally, Kurt understood and was glad he hadn't gone outside. Blaine pushed the circle at the top. He was amazed to see water wash wash down the back of the thing.

Kurt fumbled with the pants, unable to get them separated. Blaine was unfastening the metal on Kurt's pants when Cooper walked in. Kurt listened to their voices getting louder while he took care of himself. He pushed the circle and watched the water. Human magic was so interesting. He pushed the circle again. And again. Blaine grabbed his hand when he went to press it a fourth time, fastened Kurt's pants, and dragged him over to the sink, washing both of their hands at the same time.

Cooper's eyes were bugging out of his head, darting between the two of them. Blaine hissed at his bother, his tone angry.

Kurt couldn't take it anymore and he had to do something. He pushed with his magic, desperate to fix this for Blaine. Kurt felt a rush flow through him. Dizziness hit like a bolt of lightening and Kurt slumped to the floor, exhausted.

"Are you okay?" Blaine said in a frantic voice. "I don't know what to do and I don't want to make it worse. Oh, god. What was I thinking? Giving you coffee, that stuff has caffein. I'm so stupid."

"I don't think it's the mocha. It tasted good," Kurt said, before he realized he'd understood most of what Blaine was saying even if he wasn't sure what caffein was.

"Did you understand what I just said?" Blaine asked, hesitantly.

Kurt gasped. "Yes. And you understood me." It wasn't a question.

Grasping Kurt's hands to help him up off of the floor, Blaine let out a squeal. "This is going to make everything so much easier. We need to talk. And have more sex. And talk while we have sex."

Cooper spoke loudly, pointing at both of them, but Kurt could only make out a few words.

"Kurt's a foreign exchange student from Greece and he doesn't speak much English," Blaine told Cooper. "What?" Blaine whined when Cooper started yelling. "I am speaking normally."

Kurt watched them go back and forth a few more times. "I think you're speaking my language and that's why he can't understand you. Concentrate on speaking human and that should help."

Kurt could see how hard Blaine was trying to communicate with Cooper. It was odd.

"Cooper, I'll explain later," Blaine pleaded. "I swear. But you need to let it go." Cooper's anger was clear in the expression on his face and it was strange only understanding Blaine's side of the conversation. "He's a Greek exchange student," Blaine insisted.

Cooper raised his eyebrows and started singing.

Mono dyo tragoudia eho kai trito molis vgei

De ksero pou vrika to ptoma mia kai tote itan ekei

Tora periplanomai ston tafo tis mousikis

Gia ta dyo tragoudia kai to trito molis vgei

Cooper stared at Kurt expectantly and Kurt could only shrug his shoulders and say, "I don't understand," in human. Cooper yelled several more things at Blaine.

"Fine," growled Blaine, "he's not a Greek exchange student. He isn't from around he and he doesn't speak much English." A blush creeped across Blaine's cheeks and down his neck. "That's none of your fucking business, Cooper. No, I'm not going to tell you that! I'd never ask if you're sleeping with your girlfriend."

"Blaine," Kurt interrupted. "I would like to go get another mocha so you two can have your discussion without me listening in on half of it."

"You understand me, but not Cooper," said Blaine. "Why?"

Kurt shrugged. "Magic doesn't always work the way I'd like it to."

Blaine shook his head and pulled out some green papers, handing them to Kurt. "Just say 'mocha, please,' and hand her the money. I told her you don't speak much English. Whatever she gives you back, stick in the jar next to the counter."

Kurt nodded, it sounded easy enough. Blaine pulled Kurt into a hug and kissed him. "I'll figure out something to tell Cooper. Hopefully this won't take long."

Kurt squeezed back. "Tell him the truth. Tell him I'm a human sized fairy."

"If I tell him you're a fairy, he'll think I'm being rude and he won't get it. I've only been on two dates, sort of, before today and he's worried that I didn't have a boyfriend when I talked to him three days ago and now I'm in love. He thinks it's too fast. And now I'm fluently talking to you in Greek when I couldn't five minuets ago. Well, actually he figured out you're not from Greece because he's such a shit he knows one song in a foreign language and of course it's in Greek so I might as well tell him we're speaking Elvish or Klingon or Pig Latin."

"I can show him I'm a fairy. I don't know what fairy magic would be different from human magic, but you seemed impressed with the clothes I made from the ribbons. Oh, I could show him I can fly. Or," Kurt added after considering for a moment, "I could try something different. This may hurt." The intense heat engulfed him as magic hit his system and Kurt slumped against Blaine. He shouldn't do so much so close together.

"Blaine, what the actual fuck?" Cooper yelled, pointing at Blaine. "I swear to god you are going to explain this shit right now. I'm your brother and I demand a goddamn answer." He glared at Blaine who kept Kurt from falling over.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, anxiously searching Kurt's face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kurt said. "Did it work?"

Blaine said, "Did what work?" at the same time Cooper said, "Blaine said you couldn't speak English,"

"I couldn't till just now. Blaine didn't want to tell you I'm a fairy."

Cooper screwed up his face in confusion. "No shit, you're gay. I just watched my brother help you undo your pants, which I am pretty sure are actually his pants cuz I know that's his shirt, and you two were making out in a public bathroom after he mostly admitted you deflowered him. So, yeah, you're a fairy. The only part I'm surprised about is you two saying it. Is that some reclaim the word thing?"

Kurt frowned. He understood most of the individual words Cooper used, but the meaning of the sentences were beyond his grasp. "You believe that I'm a fairy," Kurt said, smiling slowly. Cooper nodded. "This is wonderful!" He turned to Blaine. "You can tell him we're married and we can figure out where we are going to live now that we're both the same size. If we want to live with in the forest, I think I can shrink us. Ohhh, we could take the bed you made. I'll have to rearrange the furniture, but it'll fit in my home and it'll be comfortable for mating. And we can bring your phone, too. This is perfect."

Blaine blinked at Kurt.

"Married?!" Cooper said, incredulously. "You can't get married. Not in Ohio. Even if you went out of state, you're too young." Cooper started laughing. "This is a prank. Damn you got me good, squirt."

"Tell him," Kurt said to Blaine. "We exchanged bracelets and are married."

Blaine went white under his tan. "Married? I...I didn't..."

"Didn't what?" Kurt demanded.

"We're too young to get married." Blaine paused for so long Kurt began to wonder if he had anything else to say. "At least I am. I don't even know how old you are. I..."

"He looks like an eleven year old milkmaid," Cooper snapped.

"Stay out of it, Coop," Blaine hissed, "you don't understand what's going on."

"Neither do you," Cooper shot back. "Tinkerbell here thinks you're married and you don't."

"Why don't you think we are married?" Kurt said. "You're wearing my bracelet."

"We give rings," Blaine said in a detached voice.

"You gave me a ring." Kurt couldn't make sense of everything.

"It's a cheap plastic pride ring I wear to piss my dad off."

Panic seized Kurt and everything went fuzzy at the edges of his vision. He knew, logically, that human customs would be different from his own, but he'd never considered that they might be so different that Blaine did not think them married. Everything he'd believed about the last few days dissolved and dissipated like mist. He was going to go home and sob his broken heart out. This was more than he could handle. He needed to leave with what little dignity he had left.

"Goodbye, Blaine," Kurt said. "This was a mistake and it's all my fault. I should have realized we're too different. I love you and I'm so, so very sorry. I'll never forget you."

Kurt concentrated, pulling in this time and he shrank. He hardly felt the magic, wether because he was returning to his normal size or or because he was in too much pain to notice, he didn't have enough energy to figure it out. Kurt wiggled out of Blaine's clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor, not bothered that he was naked. He pushed at the door to the washroom with his magic, opening it enough for him to dart through and did the same to the door of the Lima Bean. He hovered in the air above the roof, keeping Blaine's car in view while he considered his options.

He would deal with the pain shredding his soul when he got home, after he figured out how to get there. Of course, his wand was at Blaine's. Locating his home would be tricky with the wand and most likely impossible without it, especially in his current emotional state. And he was tempted to take the ring that had started this whole mess just to spite Blaine.

He needed to follow Blaine home, that was one decision made. But he didn't want Blaine to know. He flew to the car and examined at the windows. One was open enough for him to fit through.

Kurt threw himself into the space under the seat. It was uncomfortable sitting on the floor of the car naked, the scratchy fibers irritating his skin. Kurt allowed himself a few moments to cry. He'd never heard of someone getting unmarried after a few days. It must a new record, he thought dully. Well, he didn't have to tell anyone. He imagined it for a moment - going home pretending none of this had happened, making up a crazy story about where he'd been. Kurt probably couldn't get away with showing up at home and saying, "What do you mean I've been gone for days?"

He should put the proper spin on it. That was it. Kurt could let everyone know he'd gone off to see the humans and returned with all sorts of information. The more he thought about it the lighter he felt. He'd made a mistake and he could and would move on.

Kurt dozed while waiting, watching the light slowly darken between sleepy blinks, and jumping at every sound. It felt like forever and night had fallen before he heard Blaine and Cooper. "I'm not leaving without Kurt," Blaine insisted. "I love him and I fucked up, but if I leave I'll never see him again. He has no idea how to get home."

"Yours or his?" Cooper asked.

"Mine," Blaine said. He was sobbing. "He just showed up in the living room. He could live in our backyard for all I know, or a million miles away. So I have to wait here until he comes back." Kurt listened to the sound of the car door opening.

"Get in," Cooper growled. "I'll force you if I have to."

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in," Blaine shouted. "You try to force me to do anything and I will scream bloody murder. I guarantee you I am *not* leaving. I don't care if I have to stay here for the rest of my life. If you could have kept your big fat mouth shut for two seconds I could have talked to Kurt and figured this out. I hate you right now as much as I hate myself."

"How was I supposed to know you were serious?" Cooper demanded. "You both sounded crazy. And what was all that stuff about being married?"

"I already told you three hundred and twenty seven times," Blaine yelled in exasperation, "I don't fucking know. It has something to do with the bracelets. I think they use them like we use wedding rings. At least, that was how Kurt acted. If I had known what it meant, I would have told him we needed to wait a bit...well I couldn't talk to him then...I could...but he wouldn't have understood what I was saying. And we had sex. I gave him my virginity. I need to explain and tell him I'm sorry and I love him."

Kurt crawled out from under the seat to the back part of the car. He lifted up and peeked out the back window. Cooper held Blaine while he cried, the clothes Kurt had been wearing folded and tucked under Cooper's arm. "Come on," Cooper said, "I can't let you stay here all night. It's after eleven. We can come back tomorrow."

"But what if Kurt comes back and I'm not here. He'll think I don't love him." Blaine cried harder. "He thinks I don't love him now."

"We're going home, Blaine. You need some sleep. We'll come get my car tomorrow and figure something out."

"Okay," Blaine said, finally gave up.

Kurt dropped down and huddled under the seat, his heart hurt listening to Blaine cry quietly the entire way home. He waited for both boys to go into the house before leaving through the car window.

The door into the house bounced open a smidge when Cooper shut it too hard. Kurt pushed gently, hoping the motion wouldn't alert either boy to his presence. He had decided to talk to Blaine before he disappeared. Blaine owed him an explanation and a ride back to where he lived. Well, he didn't, but he was going to have to provide both so Kurt could move on physically and emotionally.

He flew to Blaine's room and, finding the door open, he slowly went to the shelf and landed on the toy frog. He lay there for several minutes, watching Cooper try to comfort Blaine. Kurt grabbed his wand. If this went badly, he'd forget about the ring and leave.

Kurt drifted down, his magic pushing out, and stopping in front of Cooper. "I would like to speak alone with Blaine," he said, proud his voice didn't shake as he landed, human sized, next to the bed. "Please."