Chapter 13

"What the hell?" Blaine yelled as he and Kurt entered the choir room in their pajamas, sleeping bags tucked under their arms, ready for the "End of Year Warbler Sleepover." Streamers and balloons decorated the walls, several signs were hung with words Kurt couldn't read and a cake sat on the council's table with two male figures standing on the frosting. Something seemed familiar about the three layers and white frosting. It finally hit him, it reminded him of the cake from the wedding in The Little Mermaid, except this one didn't have a talking crab on top.

"Why is there a naked life sized picture of me on the wall with a bullseye over my crotch?" Blaine demanded.

"It's a surprise bachelor party, because you two are sneaking off to New York and none of us are invited," Jeff said. "Surprise!"

"That's for playing pin the macho on the man," Nick said. "Like pin-the-tail on the donkey, but without tails." He held up several pictures. "We have a hot dog, rocket, snake, lamppost, baseball bat with balls. Let's see. A gun, a cannon, an arrow, don't know what these two are supposed to be, and fire hose. Oh, and because you're gay, I made a rainbow one." He showed them a rainbow with clouds at the bottom that looked like testicles.

"That picture doesn't look like you," Kurt said. The chest was too big and color was slightly off. It didn't look horrible, but it was disconcerting to see Blaine's head on the wrong body.

Someone laughed. "Trent photoshopped it. Isn't it great we have a budding computer genius amongst us?"

Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, "Jesus fucking Christ, *please* tell me you're kidding."

"No," Jeff said. "It gets better."

"I seriously doubt that," Blaine said.

Jeff stuck his tongue out at Blaine. "Spoilsport. Kurt, tell him not to be a stick in the mud."

"Oh, cookies," Kurt said. He stepped over to the table. Everything was shaped like dicks - cookies, candies, chocolates, the chip bowl. Even the straws had little cocks on the end. This couldn't be normal, but it was cookies. He picked up one of the pink dick shaped cookies, trying to figure out why the white frosting was globed on the tip instead of spread across the whole thing. Kurt used his tongue to even it out before taking a bite. "So good," he said.

Everyone laughed and he turned red. Now what had he done? He glanced at the half eaten cookie in his hand and realized what licking it had looked like. Sebastian had a smug, "Blaine's with an idiot," expression on his face.

Kurt picked up a second cookie and deliberately licked the frosting off slowly, swirling his tongue around the tip. "These are great, but Blaine tastes better." Sebastian's jaw dropped and Blaine swallowed. That's more like it, Kurt thought.

Jeff put an arm around Kurt. "See," he said, "Kurt's fun. How can a guy who convinced us to sing to his crush about sex toys at the GAP not have a sense of humor?"

"This is why none of you are invited to the wedding."

"Anyway," Nick said, "we also have a cockring toss and we can't have strippers so I got The Full Monty."

Jeff started singing and several boys joined in.

I believe in miracles,

Where you from, you sexy thing

I believe in miracles

Since you came along, you sexy thing.

Jeff grabbed Blaine's hand, spun him around, and batted his eyes. He sang to Blaine, with overly exaggerated gestures. Kurt giggled. Blaine looked so uncomfortable, it was adorable.

Where did you come from, angel?

How did you know I'd be the one?

Did you know you're everything I prayed for?

Did you know, every night and day for?

Every day, needing love as satisfaction

Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me

Nick yelled, "We want an real performance, take it all off." Jeff swiveled his hips and reached for the buttons on his pajamas shirt.

"I thought you said no strippers," Blaine hissed.

Nick rolled his eyes. "How many times have you seen Jeff naked after PE? And if you're worried about his girlfriend, you know the only thing she'll say is 'Where are the pictures?' while she laughs and demands an encore."

"I wasn't going to get naked," Jeff said. "Just take my shirt of. Jeeze."

"I don't want you to scare Kurt," Blaine said.

"Kurt," Jeff said in a sing song tone, "am I scaring you?"

"No," Kurt said, telling the truth, mostly. He didn't care as long as he didn't have to take his shirt off. It had taken days of practice to maintain the glamor on his ears without thinking about it. There would be no way to hide his wings.

"Now that Blaine has calmed down, let's play some games," Nick said. "Everybody's going to try and pin their picture at the center of the bulls eye. We have prizes, so everyone try your *hardest.* You first, Kurt."

Jeff gave him a picture, put a blindfold over Kurt's eyes, and spun him around. Kurt stumbled forwards, waving his hand in front of his face so he wouldn't run into anything. He pressed the picture to the place on the wall his fingers hit first. Scooting back, he took off the blindfold. The rainbow was on Blaine's hand. Kurt laughed along with everyone else.

Thad did better, getting the hot dog on Blaine's hip. Trent managed to find the bullseye, even if the rocket was on the edge of the target. Everyone else didn't get their pictures on Blaine's body and a few missed the picture all together.

Sebastian said, "Kinky," when the blindfold was set over his eyes. He managed to place his picture in the center of the target. Pulling off the cloth, he smiled. "Even blindfolded, I still score."

"Yeah, whatever," Jeff said, handing Sebastian a small wrapped present. "Here you go."

He opened it up and the look on Sebastian's face was priceless when he pulled out a tiny pair of black underwear with a red and white bullseye in the center.

Nick handed out hoops the size of dinner plates and directed everyone over to a table with a large, pink penis pointing up. "Listen up," Nick said. It's inflatable, but its got a weighted base. Everyone get three tries to toss the cockring over it. We'll have a second go if there's a tie. He held up a small box and said, "Winner gets a prize."

"Please tell me there isn't a cockring in the box," Blaine said.

"There isn't a cockring in the box," Jeff said brightly, although Kurt suspected he was lying.

Based on the game, Kurt guessed a cockring went over your cock. And now he had yet another thing to ask Blaine about. Asking about porn had been educational, leading to sexy fun times. Kurt wondered if there was porn with cockrings in it. Rimming would never have occurred to him without the video.

If only Blaine didn't seem so hesitant to let him watch more porn. They had seen another video of the two boys in the rimming one and Blaine had explained about deep throating. Which turned extra amazing when Blaine suggested they try doing it at the same time. The discussion about why it was called 69 had been mystifying, resulting in Blaine writing 69 on a piece of paper and drawing mouthes and dicks on the numbers until Kurt got it.

The Warbler's were about as bad at this game as they were the other one. A few rings landed around the dick, while most only bumped it or missed completely. Everyone laughed and cheered each other on with some good natured teasing. Kurt had played a similar game as a child with a stick instead of a balloon penis. The ring was almost the same size and just a smidge lighter.

Kurt won. Inside the box was a cockring. Blaine groaned and Sebastian muttered, "He probably needs it."

"No he doesn't," Blaine growled.

Jeff interrupted, "Let's have Blaine and Kurt come over here. It's time for cake."

Nick handed Blaine a knife, "Cut a piece for each of you."

Blaine took Kurt's hand and, together, they sliced through the cake, separating two pieces. "Like this," Blaine said, pulling off a small piece of cake and wrapping his arm through Kurt's, so that their arms were linked while they ate the bite of cake.

Several boys clapped and one said, "Kiss him."

Kurt leaned forward and pressed his lips against Blaine's. "Mmmm," Kurt hummed," you taste like frosting."

"We saw how much you like frosting," one of the Warbler's said.

A blush creeped across Blaine's cheeks. "Can we watch the movie," Blaine squeaked.

"I want to play Never Have I Ever," Sebastian said, "so we can all get to know Kurt."

Nick rolled his eyes. "We don't have alcohol and there isn't anything you haven't done except get in Blaine's pants. The soon to be groom has spoke. We're watching the movie, get popcorn and soda if you want it."

Blaine set out the two sleeping bags next to each other, placing the pillows by the part that opened, and he flopped down on one of them. Kurt snuggled up next to Blaine, resting his head on his fiancé's shoulder, trying to understand the movie.

The people in it didn't have jobs and they decided to take their clothes off. Kurt was fuzzy on how taking your clothes off gets you money. He was pretty sure when Blaine kept rambling on about getting a job, it wouldn't involve him being naked. And it was confusing when the one dancer, who couldn't dance, showed the men in the movie his dick, but not the audience. Blaine was about the same size as Kurt, so he assumed all guys looked similar. Not that he cared what other dicks looked like, although now he was curious. Jobs, dick size, cockrings, more porn. The list of things he wanted to ask Blaine about kept growing and growing. Or maybe he should get Blaine to dance around in nothing but a hat.

Kurt scooted closer, wrapping his arm tightly around Blaine. He drifted in and out of consciousness as the boys around him chatting while watching the movie.

Nick whispered, "Are you sure you want to get married? I know you're in love, I see it when you look at him, but you're so young. And it won't be legal in California."

"It's what I want. It won't change if we get married now, in a year, or never."

Kurt smiled at the answer.

"What are you going to do about next weekend?" Nick asked.

"What do you mean?"

"We aren't stupid," Jeff said. "I know Kurt is practically living in your dorm. Not sure how or why you haven't been caught, but you'll go down in school history as the guy with the biggest balls. But the weekend trip to Columbus. We're going to be there over night and no way hell you won't get in ten kinds of trouble for sneaking a boy in a hotel room. The guy chaperoning is much stricter than the headmaster and you know it."

Nick added, "Yeah. I kind of figured Kurt's got a crappy home life or homophobic parents so he stays here all the time."

"I think Blaine should bring him," Sebastian said. "They are having a Halloween in June party at Lust, the local gay bar. I'm dressing up as Rocky from Rocky Horror. Boots and a gold swim speedo and I am good to go. Kurt can come with us."

"What makes you think I'm going anywhere with you?" Blaine asked.

"Lots and lots of mostly naked gay guys, including me. If you're going to get married you should at least see what you're missing."

"He has me," Kurt said, unable to keep quiet any longer.

"Let's get a few things straight. Blaine's too good for you, you getting married is a joke, and one of us has a hard luck case of the 'gay face', and it ain't me."

"I don't like you," Kurt hissed.

"Fun, I don't like you either," Sebastian said.

Blaine gritted his teeth. "It's not our thing."

"Pity," Sebastian sneered. "I bet you'd look great as a superhero in skin tight spandex. Kurt can go as Tinkerbelle. They're having a costume contest. Last year I won wearing nothing but flippers and a snorkel.

Kurt considered for a moment. If what Sebastian said was true, he wouldn't have to hide his ears or wings while they danced.

"We're in," Kurt said.

Blaine opened his mouth and closed it a few times before saying, "Sweetie, I think it-"

"Sounds like fun," Kurt interrupted. He would make Sebastian back off if it was the last thing he did. And as much as he knew listening to Sebastian was a bad idea, Blaine would have other people who were interested in him, other human boys. How could he not? Kurt decided it was time to start figuring out how to deal with it.

Sebastian smiled and purred, "It's a date."

Glaring at him, Blaine said, "It's a date for me and Kurt. You're just going to be in the same place as us."