Chapter 12

Blaine turns his face towards me. “We already talked about this. I mean I was a bit shocked first, because I didn't expect you to do something like that because of jealousy. But hey, Jack and his professor did something illegal and I don't know if someone else would have said something in the long run. So don't worry about it anymore. I get why you did it and it was morally absolutely okay. You didn't lie or make something up. You just stated the truth. I was kind of proud that you would do something like this for me and our relationship. Not that it was in danger because of Jack. But hey, it was and still is flattering.”

I nuzzle my nose against his and plant a kiss on the tip of his nose before I search for the next interesting story with a small smile on my face.

November 2014

Dear diary.

Oh my god! Our apartment is the epitome of a hellhole. Rachel is throwing plates and vases and other fragile things through the apartment. Apparently Finn cheated on her in a drunken state at a dorm party. Holy hell. I have seen Rachel angry. But this is terrifying. First she was just devastated and cried the whole day. She ate a lot of ice-cream and chocolate (our all time comfort food) and wailed in her room and the living room for 2 days. Now the mood changed to anger. And she has a lot of that right now. She is screaming and destroying our china. She slams every fucking door and threatened me to never let Finn into the apartment again if I don't want to lose my bedroom to someone else. Because he's my fucking brother anyway. Okaaaaaaaaay. I'm not Finn and we're not related by blood and she's my fucking friend, so if she doesn't calm down in the next couple of days I will bitch back. Blaine is the definition of calm in person. I have no idea how he's doing that. He pulls her in his arms and talks calmly into her ear and strokes her back until she tells him that men are all pricks and the worst invention of all times and that she thinks about looking for a girlfriend instead. Britt and San are out of the apartment most evenings to get away from Rachel. I can understand them but I won't give in this time. Finn calls me every fucking day multiple times to please tell Rachel that he's sorry and that he'll never do that again. She won't even listen to me so I give up for now.

Dad and Carole will come over for Thanksgiving and I have no idea if Rachel will visit her dads this year. There's no way that she will be in the same room as Finn for the holidays. She'll tell us in time. So Blaine and I are doing a weekly date-night since our big fight. I love it. We go out for dinner and stroll through Central Park. It's so romantic. And because Santana is a bitch sometimes, she has this new habit to put a note on our bedroom door when we excuse ourselves which says 'Don't disturb the lovers while they fuck each others brains out'. Thanks San. Very considerate of you...

Okay, I need to get some sketches ready for tomorrow. Have to go. See ya, Kurt

“Oh god, I remember that time with Rachel and Finn. It was hard watching them both suffer. But her phase after the anger was even worse.” Blaine sighs and I just groan.

“Oh god, don't remind me. She became such a slut and had a new one-night-stand every other day. Every willing NYADA student was at least once in her bed. I don't remember that I saw a face twice leave our apartment. Poor Finn. I don't know how much Rachel told him about that time when they were broken up.” I shake my head and look for the next interesting entry in my diary.

December 2014

Dear diary.

Blaine is behaving strange. He's jumpy and skittish, he blushes without reason and checks his phone all the time. If I wouldn't know it any better I'd say he's cheating on me but I know that he wouldn't do that. I asked a few times but I just get excuses and half-answers. Hm. Not sure what all this means. He's been behaving like this since around Thanksgiving. But I have no idea if something has happened. Dad and Carole were wonderful as always, Britt and San were like themselves as always and Finn was grumpy but nothing happened. Rachel was with her dads in Lima and Blaine and I were great. All felt perfect. I interrupted a conversation between dad and Blaine late that night, but I don't know what it was about. No one was looking angry or sad or anything. On the contrary. They were smiling and giggling so I don't think that it was something I should worry about. If Blaine is behaving like this until Christmas, we need to have a talk. It makes me nervous.

Next topic: Finn and Rachel are back together. Thank god. It was horrible for everyone involved. So everything is back to normal and they are lovey-dovey again.

Other topic: I got a call from Tina today. She and Mike got engaged!!!! Holy shit. Finally. I'm so happy for them. They have been a couple for a long time and the wedding will be around June in Lima. YES!!! Tina asked me to help her with her dress and I can't wait to send her some sketches. I have so many ideas. We will probably Skype once a week to see if she likes my ideas. This is so exciting. My first wedding planning since dad's and Carole's wedding. You can't see me now but I'm clapping my hands in excitement. *sigh*. I love weddings so much!!!! Can't wait to get married myself someday. Well, who knows if Blaine will propose or if it will be me someday in the future. I didn't really think about a date yet. I mean, we have been together for a year and in total we've been a couple for 4 years minus the year we were apart. So 3 years. Hm. It's a lot longer than some other people who get married. Dad and Carole were together only for what? A year? I think it was less. But dad once told me 'when you know, you know'. Hmmm maybe I should think about this a little more and ask the girls what they think about a proposal. Let's give it some time until after Christmas. Then I will probably have a little more time to start planning a proposal for Blaine. I know that he is the one for me.

Oh shit. I got a text from Tina. Emergency Skype session ASAP. Have to go. See ya, Kurt

Blaine starts to say something but I interrupt him as soon as he opens his mouth.

“NO! We won't talk about this one. No, no, no. You can laugh after the next entry,” I say and hastily turn the page.

“Okay, honey. Whatever you want.” Blaine grins and kisses my neck.

December 2014

Dear diary.

I.AM.SPEECHLESS. I'm never speechless but right now I'm speechless. Like really speechless. Um. Where should I start? My last entry was a week before Christmas I think and I told you about Blaine's strange behavior. I'm sitting here at my desk right now crying...

No, don't get me wrong. These are not tears of sadness. These are happy tears. Like really fucking happy tears. Okay, you still have no answer what got me so happy, right? I have to go back to my last entry.

After my Skype call with Tina she asked me if I would be able to make the wedding dress myself instead of just sketching it. Okay, I am a very loyal friend and I said yes. So I asked her what she had in mind and I took notes. Later that night I had already drawn 3 or 4 different sketches that I sent her via email. She loved all of them. Well. That didn't really help with a decision. I have no idea how I will get her measurements in time. I won't be in Lima for a while and she can't really come to New York right now. We'll figure something out eventually. Okay, so a day before Christmas Eve, dad and Carole flew in and we spent a wonderful day together. I got a bit suspicious because they kept me out the whole day and I hadn't seen Blaine since that morning. He wanted to come with me but he had an important meeting with someone from college. Well, we got back home in the evening and I was exhausted from all the walking through the city. Dad told me that he had made a reservation in a nice restaurant near Central Park for Christmas Eve so that no one was in charge to cook that night. Wow. Dinner on Christmas is fucking expensive. But dad said it was their Christmas gift to us. Later that evening Blaine finally came home and apologized that he couldn't make it earlier. I just kissed him in answer. The evening was cozy with all of us gathered in the living room. Dad and Carole sat in the fluffy armchair, Britt and San on the loveseat, Finn with Rachel in his lap on one side of the couch, Blaine with me in his lap on the other side. We watched a few movies until Rachel and Finn were the first to set off to bed. Dad and Carole hailed a cab to their hotel and San and Britt were going in simultaneously. I must have fallen asleep on Blaine at some point into the last movie and he carried me to bed. When I woke up on Christmas Eve morning it was already around 10am and I was alone in bed. I heard voices from the kitchen and when I got up and threw some clothes on I found my whole family making breakfast. The sight was just wonderful. I stood there in the doorway and listened to their conversation for a moment when Blaine spotted me, grinned like a toddler and came over to hug me good morning. Carole mentioned the mistletoe above our heads and we both leaned in at the same time for a loving, slow and sweet kiss. Hollers and chuckles were heard but I didn't care. As our kiss grew deeper and I wrapped my legs around Blaine's waist, dad cleared his throat rather loudly and we pulled apart. Our morning was beautiful. No arguing, all couples were lovey-dovey, everyone glanced at each other with a knowing grin which I didn't understand the slightest. Was I missing something? Clearly. Did I have a clue what it was? Of course not. After everyone except dad and Carole got ready we decorated the apartment and sang some Christmas carols. I can honestly say that this Christmas Eve was one of the best I ever had. It was incredible. In the afternoon my parents went back to the hotel to get ready for our dinner and the girls, Blaine and I did the same at home. So the girls wore beautiful dresses, Blaine wore a black suit which suited him like a glove. It was breathtaking. I wore a dark gray suit with a black dress shirt. Even Finn looked great in his kind of suit. Well he's Finn. At least he didn't wear baggy jeans and a hoodie for once. Haha. Well, my parents came over again and together we went to the restaurant. The staff was very nice and polite and we got a table in a secluded area. Apparently dad and Carole had already organized a complete menu for us and the starter was delicious. Okay to keep it a bit shorter, the meal was wonderful, we enjoyed ourselves immensely, when the time for dessert came, everyone got nervous and skittish again. I was just about to say something when the waiter came with a gorgeous strawberry-cheesecake. When he placed it in the middle of the table Blaine stood up and I let my eyes wander between the cake and Blaine. Until I saw the inscription on the cake. 'Kurt... Will you marry me?' I inhaled sharply and I bet my face displayed the emptiness in my brain. Dumbstruck. Blaine took my hands and kissed the back until I finally looked him in the eyes and he made the most beautiful speech I ever heard or even dreamed of about loving me and me being his perfect counterpart and the one and only. I have to admit that I was so overwhelmed that I don't remember everything he said, but the most important thing was that he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Everybody clapped and whooped when we kissed passionately. Blaine pulled the ring-box out of his pocket and presented it to me before he slipped it on my finger. He told me that he was sorry that it wasn't as expensive as he wanted it to be but because of his current financial situation it was 'only a silver band with a tiny diamond in it'. I couldn't care less. It was gorgeous. Like my fiancé. OMG. I have a fiancé. We kissed again and everyone around us embraced and congratulated us. Dad took me aside and told me that Blaine had asked him for his permission at Thanksgiving and that he of course gave it to him. Huh. That's why he was behaving so strange. Dad was so happy that he shed a little tear when he hugged me fiercely. I sobbed into his suit like a baby. The girls and Carole gushed over my ring and over Rachel's shoulder I saw Finn and Blaine hugging tightly. The evening was perfect. My favorite people were here together and I was engaged. Holy shit. I have no idea how much I cried and smiled the whole evening. Dad ordered a round of sparkling wine for us to celebrate and I couldn't stop giggling and smiling and holding my fiancé's hand. When the cake was gone and we took a walk before heading home, the events from that day came crashing down on me and I realized that Blaine beat me in my proposal plans. I told him that and he chuckled and kissed me in the middle of Central Park. After another hour of celebrations at our apartment including Elliot and Ben, my parents excused themselves with more hugs and kisses and 'thank you's'. A while later the girls and Finn went home with Elliot and Ben to crash in their apartment to 'give the newly engaged couple privacy for a couple of rounds of celebratory sex.' We used the time well and this morning, when everyone came back for a late breakfast, we were grinning like lovesick puppies and we finally could exchange Christmas gifts. It was a lovely affair and I can't stop thinking how lucky I am. I have wonderful parents, an incredible fiancé, a funny and amazing brother and the most caring friends a guy can have. I'm a hell of a lucky man. I know, I am SO cheesy right now, but I can't describe all the emotions that try to escape my mind. I'm still overwhelmed and I need a moment to process the last two days. I have to go ring shopping with Blaine within the next few days. He deserves a gorgeous ring on his finger. Okay, I think I have to go back to my family. Enough summing up of the last couple of days for now. See ya later, Kurt

I pull out the pictures that are on top of this page. The first one shows Blaine and I grinning like crazy and I show off my left hand with the beautiful ring on my finger. The second one was taken by our waiter and showed the whole group in the restaurant sitting around the table with smiling faces. The third one is later that night at our apartment. Ben took the picture and it shows Blaine on my lap with his tongue shoved down my throat and the girls, Finn and Elliot look like we are dry-humping each other. I put the bookmark into the diary and close it silently to look at my husband. He has tears in his eyes again (like me) and we smile softly at each other.

“I am so sad that I don't remember your whole proposal. I really was too overwhelmed to keep it in memory. I know that it was beautiful and I can't forget how you looked at me in the restaurant with our most cherished people around us. I still can't stop smiling when I think about it.” I blink a few times and put my hand on Blaine's thigh.

“You know, someday when we are done with your hundreds of diaries I may admit that I have a box of treasures of my own and I will share the content with you. It's no diaries, but I have letters, pictures and the draft of my proposal and many many more little things which remind me of you, our children and all the important events of our lives,” Blaine confesses and I beam at him.

“I'd love to see them one day, honey.” I state and my phone starts ringing again.

I take a look at the ID and groan. “Nooooooooooo, it's Rachel. It's way too early to talk to Rachel. Don't wanna. Can you talk to her? Please?” I beg and hand Blaine the phone.

“Hello my lovely Rachel. What can I do for you on this fine Sunday morning?” Blaine breathes into the phone and I have to put my hand on my mouth before I start to snort.

“No... Yes... I think so... If you say so... Okay... No, I have to ask Kurt first... What, now?...No way... No, we have plans... What do you mean you have to leave town?.. No... Yes... Uh-huh... Really?... Oh, I didn't know that... Yes, whatever you want... What?... No... Oh god... Is he okay?... No, that's so Finn... Yes, okay... Uh-huh... Right... Good... See you later then... Yes, I'll kiss him from you... Okay... See you... Okay... Bye...” Blaine ends the call and I just stare at him.

“What the hell was that?” I ask in disbelief and wait for Blaine to explain.

“Well, she asked me if we could watch Aiden for 3 days from tonight because she and Finn have to leave for Lima. Leroy is in the hospital. She doesn't know exactly what happened but you know Rachel. And Joseph is in college and can't come home to take care of his little brother. She's worried like crazy and Britt and San are out of town until next Friday. Some law conference in Chicago. Elliot and Ben are on vacation right now so they can't take him either. That leaves us. I said yes. I know you understand that, right? I mean, he's our nephew and we love him.” Blaine ends his monologue and sighs dramatically.

“Oh my god, of course we can take him. Shall I call her back?” I hurry and try to grab the phone.

“No need, honey. All discussed. They will be over late afternoon and he can sleep in Tommy's room.” Blaine gets up from the bed and strokes my face. “Don't worry. Everything will work out some way. I'm just visiting the restroom for a second. Be right back.” Blaine leaves the bedroom and I think about Leroy Berry.

He is a wonderful man. And he's very old. I think fondly of the generosity of the Berry husbands. The cheap rent in their New York apartment for Rachel's friends, the incredible wedding gift we got from them and all the other things they did for Blaine and I and our children. They are not only very generous relating to money, but to their kind hearts and the love they gave to all of us. I hope everything will be okay. I'm not ready to lose important people in my life. Tears start to fog my vision and I try to will them away.

Blaine comes back after a moment and he hugs me tightly. “We can't do anything right now, honey. Let's be there for Rachel and Finn and Aiden and we have to deal with the rest when it comes, okay? Do you want to go on?”

“Yes. Let's think about something else and drown in the glory of our engagement. Let me see what came next in my diary.” I say and open the diary again.