Chapter 10

I pull out the picture of our 'reunion' in Central Park where we sat on a bench and we kissed passionately with scarves half over our faces and pink cheeks from the cold.

Blaine caresses my face on the picture and gets a bit melancholic. “I never blamed you that you thought I would retreat again and leave you high and dry. I understood and still do understand your concerns and insecurities on that part. But we worked it out in the end, right?” Blaine nuzzles behind my ear and I smile at him.

“Oh god, I remember that day when I came over to your apartment and it was really tense at first with Santana, Rachel and Finn. But after an hour Santana was sitting in my lap, Rachel hugged me from behind and Finn demanded that I sit next to him for the football game. That was quite endearing. And you fucked me hard against your bedroom door not even another hour later. Everybody could hear us. Oh my god, Kurt. In the heat of the moment I didn't give a shit but when I think about it now it was embarrassing.” Blaine blushes slightly and I snort at his bashfulness.

“Oh honey, we did so many more things to annoy our friends and families. Don't start. Let's go on with the diary, yes?” I search for my next choice of entry.

December 2013

Dear diary.

I am crying. Like a child. Blaine is gone again. I accompanied him to the airport. We parted with kisses and tears and more kisses and even more tears. I don't think I will be able to cry for days because I got it out all on one day. No, that's not true. I remember that I cried for days before. But you get my point. I'm devastated. I want him here all the time. Blaine got along exceptionally well with my family again. Britt was so happy that she couldn't stop hugging him, dad and Carole forgave him already when he visited them after Thanksgiving, Rachel had a heart-to-heart with him in the kitchen, Santana scared the shit out of Blaine by threatening that she would castrate him if he broke me ever again (oh god, please don't. I need his dick and the possibility to produce a little Blaine, har har). Um. Yeah and Finn was so easy to appease. Blaine brought him his favorite doughnuts. Problem solved and everybody loved each other again. We won't be together on New Years, but Blaine promised to try for Valentines Day. I really hope so. We'll Skype on New Years for sure and then we'll see. Dad and Carole are back in Ohio too. So it's the girls and I again. Elliot met Blaine briefly one day and they get along great. It was funny to see the jealousy in Blaine's eyes in the beginning. When we met Elliot's boyfriend Ben he relaxed a bit and after maybe an hour we four laughed so hard and got along great. I'm happy that we can share friends in the future. It's important to me that Blaine doesn't feel like an outsider. And Elliot told me that he would swap Blaine for Ben anytime if I was into that. REALLY NOW??? NOT HAPPENING. This guy is crazy. I'm still not totally convinced that he was joking about swapping partners. I won't think about it for now. Ugh.

I love my job. They give me so much room and they believe in my abilities. I'm just a freaking intern but they ask ME for my opinion on designs and encourage ME to get inspired to draw my own sketches. I'm sure that I will be a designer in the future. Maybe even with my own company or line. I knoooooooow I'm crazy but a guy can dream, okay? I have visions in my head. Blaine will be a famous musician or orchestra member, I'll be a famous designer, we will marry and have some kids and a house in the suburbs. Maybe a cat or a dog. OMG! Did someone give me crazy pills??? Holy fuck. Maybe I should just go to bed before I do something ridiculous like fly out to San Francisco and kidnap Blaine to Las Vegas or something. Riiiiiight, I'll go to bed. See ya soon, Kurt

“Oooooooooh honey you got pretty close in your visions, though! I'm impressed,” Blaine snickers and sits back with crossed legs.

“Yes, didn't you know that I'm a fortune teller in my spare time?” I cackle back and tickle his ribs.

“Kurt, no. Don't tickle me. That's not fair. I will scream.” He laughs and holds his stomach.

“I know that already, honey. I'm a fortune teller. Don't forget that.” I throw myself onto my husband and after a few minutes of tickling we both are crying from laughing so hard.

“Okay, stop. What's next my dear fortune teller? Can we move on?” Blaine asks breathlessly and I grab the diary again to scroll through it.

February 2014

Dear diary.

Happy new year. Sorry, I was so busy that I forgot to write for quite a long time. What happened in the last month...

Hm. New Years I was at a party at Elliot's and we had so much fun. There was a sing-off, a dance competition and a lot of alcohol. Oh holy cow. I drunk-called Blaine over FaceTime at midnight as we said we would and I kissed my phone really slobby and drooled on it (that's what they told me... I can't remember that much from that night). He called me again 3 hours later for his own New Years. I can't remember that either. I was home already and Britt held the trashcan while I hurled into it. (That was something they told me too, I never found any evidence of these tales. Well, January was pretty stressful. We had a lot of classes and tests at Parsons and my work at Michael Kors was exhausting but so worth it. They changed my unpaid internship into a paid one. They must be impressed with me. I can finally save some money to visit Blaine this year. YESSSSS. Can't wait. What else... Hm. Blaine can't make it for Valentine's, but I didn't expect him to. It was more a rush of ' I'll try to come over but don't be sad if I can't make it'. So hey, it's okay. It's kinda hard to just call and Skype and text all the time, but we make it work. It's surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would be. We are both so busy with college and work and life that it still feels awesome to see Blaine on my laptop screen or hear his voice. It's going great. And we do get off when we have the chance to be alone in our rooms and watch each others blurred features over the screen. It was weird the first time we tried cyber-sex. And I hate that term... but we got really good at it and it's a good alternative to just jerking off in private and in the dark with just thoughts of each other. So, nothing really interesting happened in the last five weeks. Can't wait for spring-break though. Finally having Blaine in my arms and in my bed again. I'll have to pay San and Britt to go out to watch a movie or have a loooooooong dinner. She's so mortifying when she takes every opportunity to make us uncomfortable or interrupts any form of sexy times. Ugh. Rachel and Finn will go on a date on Valentine's. Britt, San and I will stay in and do a movie marathon of rom-coms. In the evening I'll Skype with Blaine. So something to look forward to. Okay, nothing more to talk about I guess. See ya soon, Kurt

“I actually remember your drunk-call on that New Years, honey. We never talked about it, did we?” Blaine asks with a cocked eyebrow and I shake my head. “It's true though! You said so many sweet things to me, then you licked your phone screen and then the call ended somehow. When I FaceTimed you on my midnight you were in bed, your beside lamp was on and you mumbled something that I didn't understand and the screen was pointing to the ceiling and then I heard you gag and believe me I could nearly smell the vomit over the phone. I heard Britt shushing you and you said you loved me so much and wanted to cuddle with me and then Britt took over wished me a happy new year, sent me an air-kiss and then the line went dead.”

“Oh my god...” I just say and hide behind my hands.

“Oh Kurt! No need to be ashamed of yourself. It was funny and you were so cute.” Blaine grins and I peak through my fingers when he starts to kiss my hands that are still on my face.

“Okay okay, let's go on,” I change the topic and turn the page.

February 2014

Dear diary.

I hate Blaine...

No I don't. I love him with every fiber of my being. But I still hate surprises. He surprised me on Valentine's. OMG I must have looked like I got bitch-slapped in the face. Britt and San knew of his plans. But let's start from the beginning:

Rachel and Finn were out celebrating. Elliot and Ben were too. San, Britt and I were home watching movies, like we planned all along. We were on movie no. 3 I think when the girls paused the movie and excused themselves to their room for a moment. I knew they wanted to have some alone time and I understood. I went to the kitchen to get myself a snack and a hot chocolate. When I came back into the living room I heard some kind of soft music from my bedroom and I wondered who would put on music while I wasn't there. I put my snack and the mug on the coffee-table and went slowly over to my bedroom and opened the door silently. What I saw made me weak in the knees. Rose pedals were all over my sheets and a few vanilla scented candles had been lit and were glowing on top of the drawers, the soft light came only from them and my bedside lamps and Blaine stood near the window in a dark gray suit with a bouquet of red roses in his hand. I felt like fainting and I bet my facial expression was laughable. I just mumbled 'Blaine?' and I ran into his arms and nearly crushed the flowers. I kissed him hungrily and wet and Blaine laid the roses onto my desk to embrace me fiercely. When we finally pulled apart I wanted to know what he was doing here and he told me that he wanted to surprise me and that he would go on a date with me if I wanted and he could stay until the next evening. So we had 24 hours to be together. I cried out and hugged him again. San and Britt knocked on my door to tell us that they would go out as planned and wished us a wonderful evening. San complimented Blaine's outfit and Britt wished us a happy-baby-making-Valentine's-day. We were alone at last and I refused to go out and share Blaine with anyone. I told Blaine to put on some lounge clothes and snuggle with me in the living room. We ate some snacks, watched a movie, snuggled on the couch and were just happy to be together. After the credits rolled on the TV I couldn't contain myself any longer and hauled Blaine to the bedroom to get him naked as fast as possible. It didn't really take much convincing. Blaine was as desperate to touch me as I was him. The first time was frantic, fast and hot, the second time was slow and full of touches, caresses, slow kisses, glances and smiles. We fell asleep at some point and when I woke up in the early hours of the morning I was draped over Blaine's chest. When I lifted my head I looked into the most beautiful eyes I ever saw. I still can't believe that this gorgeous human being is mine to touch and to love. We got dressed in our sleepwear again and cuddled a little more until the girls burst into my room to give a proper greeting to Blaine. San has no boundaries to pull the sheets off and have a good look so I'm really thankful that we did the right thing to get dressed again beforehand. After a wonderful breakfast and a relaxing bath we went out for a walk and Blaine told me that he had a big fight with his dad over his plans that he still couldn't talk about and that he cut him off of his money. So he wasn't sure if he could make it over spring-break. At first I was a bit sad and disappointed but my plans to visit Blaine in San Francisco were beginning to get more concrete. So I told him that and he kissed me enthusiastically. I don't understand Blaine's dad at all. I mean, they always had a rough relationship but to cut him off is mean and evil. When the time came for Blaine to get back to the airport we parted a bit less teary eyed than the last time. Spring break was only a few weeks away and we would make it work. Many kisses and only a few tears later I went back to the apartment. Now more than ever I want to visit Blaine in San Fran. So, I'll make a plan with the girls and look for flights. YAY. See ya, Kurt

“Mmmmm, I remember Valentine's. That was so beautiful. And your face was really priceless.” Blaine mocks me and just roll my eyes at him.

“You know how much I hate to be surprised. But this one was awesome. I can't deny it. We had so much fun and I enjoyed your visit. Still, it hurts to think about the break with your dad.” I furrow my brow and glance at Blaine with a concerned look.

“I'm past that, honey. Don't worry. It hurt at that time, sure, but we never really got along that well since I told him I was gay. So, let's not be sad about what happened. Cooper was there for me and you were my rock. And in the end, I didn't need his money after all. My fund was due a year later and I – or better we - managed quite okay that year without my parents money.” Blaine smiles at that and I smile back before I turn the next page.

March 2014

Dear diary.

The time in San Francisco was incredible. For more reasons than one.

WOW. San Francisco is awesome. I mean, it's not New York but... wow. It's a beautiful city and the light breeze is just mhhhhhh. I'm already back in NY but let me tell you what happened in San Fran:

Blaine picked me up at the airport with lots of hugs and kisses and he drove us to his dorms. His roommate Chris is a cool guy. He's was already packing when we came. He'd gone home for the break. Okay I admit that we spent the first two days only in Blaine's dorm. More precisely in his bed. But hey! It's been a few weeks and we craved each other. On day 3 we went to lunch in a sweet little café at the beach and spend the rest of the day doing touristy things. I quite liked it there. On day 4 Blaine got a phone call from the administrative office of his college where they told him that they needed him in their office ASAP for an important talk. When he came back to the room he grinned like a 5 year old and told me finally what was going on. This is where I start screaming and squealing again. Good that you can't hear me *squeeeeeaaaaaaaaal*. Blaine told me that he got a scholarship for the Manhattan School of Music and he will transfer to New York in the summer..............................*faint*

You can imagine that I was shocked first. I didn't really understand what Blaine was telling me and when the words sank in, I screamed, squealed, cried, sobbed and hugged and kissed Blaine for what felt like an eternity. He cried with me and we had another round of frantic sex. Well. Can you blame me? I was fucking happy and I finally understood the meaning of his words. He will come to New York and finish his school there. We will be in the same city. We won't be apart again and we won't have to do long-distance anymore. He can sleep in my bed whenever we want to. Oh shit. We didn't speak about living arrangements. I have no idea if he will be in the dorms or if he will look for an apartment. Though I don't think so regarding his actual financial situation. I need to have a talk with the girls. Maybe he'd be willing to live with us? Britt and San share a room too and now that everything is solved between Blaine and the girls I don't see the problem. Who should I ask first? I think I need to ask the girls for permission first. Oh and Rachel's dads of course. Holy fuck, Blaine will be in New York for good. I called dad yesterday and told him the news. He's happy for us and Carole cried on the phone.

On day 6 Cooper came from LA to visit both of us and we had a great time together. On day 7 I had to fly back and we spend nearly the whole day curled around each other with goofy grins and just happiness. Another 2 months and he will be with me permanently. I never thought that there was the possibility or the thought of transferring for Blaine. This means so much to me and I know that he's doing this mostly for me, but partly for himself too. He likes San Francisco but he didn't make many friends and his most favorite people were and are in New York. We'll both start our junior years after the summer and we're half way through our college time already. Time flies. I'll be 20 in 2 months. I wonder when is the right time to get engaged? Hm, I'll think about it when we figured out where Blaine will live. If he will live with us it will get messy with 5 people under the same roof. We only have one bathroom and with me and the girls it's already stressful to get ready in the mornings. I'm positive that we'll find a way eventually. I don't think that we'll be able to visit each other before the summer break. It's too expensive for both of us. So I'll have calls and Skype and texting again until then. Okay, I have to go and will call Rachel's dads first, then talk with the girls. Will let you know, what we decided before I call Blaine and ask him if he wants to move in with us. See ya, Kurt