Chapter 4

As the band's final note fades, Blaine takes a moment to catch his breath. He turns and gives Tina a small smile before heading for his chair and taking a drink of water.

Off to the side, Mr. Schue claps with a smile. “That was good, guys. Really good.”

Next to him, Tina leans to whisper in his ear. “I still think we could have sped up the tempo.”

Blaine suppresses the sigh that wants to escape, the argument having been discussed (and rediscussed) for hours at The Lima Bean, and again after the first run through. Unique had been just as opinioned and certain at the meeting as she had been at lunch when she'd stolen Blaine's phone. Choosing the song alone had taken two hours.

He straightens in his chair as Mr. Schue's voice raises, “– to keep up the practice. We're going to need to bring everything we have for Nationals this year. But we're out of time for today. Keep up your hard work and remember your songs for News are due by the end of the week.”

Blaine tosses his water bottle into his bag and stands as Sam comes to his side. “I still can't believe News is our theme this is week. ‘I know most of you are getting feedback from colleges or making plans for after graduation. So I want you all to express that with music.'” The latter is spoken in an imitation of Schue, and Blaine lets out a small laugh.

“Not one of your best impressions, Sam. And you,” Tina catches Blaine's arm, causing him and Sam to stop, almost to the door of the choir room, “Are you tired or something? Since when are you quiet during Glee?”

“A little.” Blaine shrugs. “Enough to run out of time on that calc quiz earlier.”

“Oh.” Tina gives a sympathetic look. “At least it's just a quiz; it won't hurt your grade that much.”

Blaine hums in response, but Ryder's call for Sam cuts in before he can add to his reply.

“Yeah!” Sam turns back from the doorway to face Blaine and Tina. “I'll see you guys; don't wanna miss my ride!” Quick hugs and two waves later, Blaine and Tina are alone in the choir room.

Blaine follows as Tina tugs his arm and they exit the room.

“Oh!” Blaine stops halfway down the hall. “I forgot my phone in the choir room.” He gives Tina a brief hug goodbye and waves when she reaches the door.

Alone in the hall after Tina heads for her car, Blaine slowly walks to the trophy case, remembering the day McKinley had welcomed Glee with open arms; the day he had held hands with Kurt without fear of repercussion.

He then turns and heads back to the choir room, his slow steps echoing in the deserted hallway. In the choir room, Blaine's phone sits on his chair, right where hed left it.

Minutes later, Blaine slides into his car with a sigh.

Text message from Blaine:

Remind me that one unfinished calc quiz isn't the end of my academic career.

Text message from Kurt:

I pretty sure it's a rite of passage; everyone fails at least one ;)

Text message from Blaine:

You really are the best.>

Text message from Blaine:

…it's still weird going home to people

Text message from Kurt:

I love you. And I'm only a call away <3

For the first time since his calculus class, an honest smile crosses Blaine's face. Turning the keys in his ignition, Wicked comes through the speakers; Blaine keeps his smile as he pulls out of the parking lot.

-*-*-*-

Kurt takes the piece of pie from the counter, stopping to fill a mug of coffee before taking both items to Elliott, who was sitting in one of the booths by a window. He drops off the items with a smile before turning back toward the kitchen.

The diner is fairly empty, despite its customers not adhering to the common meal times prevalent in Ohio. Only four customers currently sit at the scattered tables.

Santana exits the kitchen with a grimace, grabbing Kurt's arm and leading him back to the main floor of the diner.

“Santana, do you always have to drag people around?”

“There's a gay joke in there, but I'll keep it to myself.”

Kurt side eyes her as he responds. “Everyone here thanks you for your restraint. Now,” Kurt flicks the fingers of his free hand toward the arm currently held hostage, “Why are you pulling me around the diner?”

“Gunther just got a phone call.” Santana sighs. “Director of some off off-Broadway show. Wanted to know if we could accommodate his cast and crew.”

Realization hits and Kurt forcibly reminds himself that more customers means more tips.

“Okay.” Kurt drags out the word. “But they're not here yet, so…”

“Congratulations, Hummel: You get to be a man today. We're combining tables.”

Releasing his arm, Santana eyes him with a smirk. Kurt shakes his head even as he reaches for the closest chair.

An hour later Kurt fixes the smile on his face as he sets the refilled glasses of Coke and Fanta on the crowded table, making sure the ring on his left hand catches the light as he holds the tray. A few of the customers – Kurt's reasonably certain they're not entirely sober – have some kind of competition involving Kurt and one-liners. At first, the outrageous pick-up lines had been amusing, but Kurt is more than over the joke/contest/game and really just wishes it would end.

“Yo Kurt! Can I get some extra onions?”

“Oh! If it's not too much trouble, could I have some lemons, please?”

Kurt represses his sigh; half of those not taking part in the ‘I know the cheesiest pick up line' game had a new request every five minutes.

Kurt's “of course” isn't acknowledged, but over the heads of the numerous cast and crew members he catches Santana's gaze and rolls his eyes. Together they head back to the kitchen, and after requesting the desired items Kurt rolls his neck as he leans against the counter; the customers can wait a minute for their onions and lemons.

“Think they'll give up soon?”

“Hm?” At Santana's nod toward the table Kurt shrugs. “I hope so, but since I can't figure out what their goal is I have no idea.” Kurt steps away from the counter as two small bowls are placed on the ledge separating the bar from the kitchen.

“Well it's not to get an up close view of your ring. You've been waving your hand so much I'm pretty sure any one of them could draw a replica.”

Kurt can feel the blush staining his cheeks as Santana laughs. He had made sure to show his ring – especially within the past twenty minutes or so – but he hadn't realized he'd been zealous.

“You'd think they'd stop, then,” Kurt mutters, a bowl in each hand.

“But they haven't. So why not have a little fun?” The gleam in Santana's eye is calculating.

“Fiancé, Santana.”

“Come on. Think of the upside, Hummel.” At Kurt's raised eyebrow she continues, “Tips.”

“I'm not flirting with them, Santana.”

Kurt walks back to the table, ignoring Santana's Spanish mumblings until she's out of his hearing range. He sets the two small bowls on the table and is taking a step back when a voice cuts through the table's chatter.

“Are you a fruit? Because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?”

Two more hours.

-*-*-*-

Blaine pushes the grains of rice around on his plate as his parents talk about work and future vacations – the same banal discussion as the past three days. He runs through songs in his head, trying to think of one for this week's Glee assignment, and hopes his parents don't notice the clink of his fork when his father's voice startles him from his thoughts.

“Sorry?”

Blaine's father sighs before looking at Blaine through narrowed eyes. “I was just asking how school's been for you.”

“Oh.” Blaine glanced down at his plate before returning his father's gaze. “It's fine.”

“Just fine? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. I'm just a bit tired; all my teachers decided to test us this week, so I have a little extra homework.”

“But there's no trouble? I know you mentioned getting your girl friend – Tina, right? – to help if you needed it.”

“I'm sure Tina would help if I needed it; she's a great friend.” Blaine's forcibly loosens his grip on his fork and takes a controlled breath, not thinking about his failed calculus quiz.

“I'm glad you have such nice friends at McKinley.” Blaine's mother adds, taking a sip of wine, “I was nervous when you decided to leave Dalton; public school doesn't provide the best of reputations.”

“No,” Blaine's father agrees, “but I'm sure Blaine enjoys having a more…diverse group to spend time with. Plus,” his father looks to Blaine, “You have more time for work now, right?”

“I – yes.” Blaine nods, ignoring the fact that for his father, ‘diverse' refers to different genders rather than races. “I've been helping out at Mr. Hummel's shop.”

Blaine's father smiles. “I'm glad to hear it. It's good for young men to get their hands dirty.”

“Of course it is.” Blaine says his bitter response quietly as he takes a sip of soda.

“What was that, Blaine? I thought with all that singing you'd know to project your voice.” The comment is made with a smirk, and the joking tone sets Blaine on edge.

“I said ‘of course' – of course you like that I work on cars, sometimes.”

“It's a useful skill, Blaine,” his father's tone is conciliatory but sharp even as he continues, “It's good to know how to check an engine – work with your hands.”

“A useful skill.” Usually Blaine stays quiet, accepting his fathers jibes, but the exhaustion from several nights of waking in terror and the guilt from Glee and his failed quiz have left him stretched too thin; his composure breaks and he snaps in response. “More useful than my singing and playing the piano, right? A manly skill; something that ‘gets my hands dirty' and makes up for the fact that I'm in love with Kurt?”

“Blaine.” His father's voice is controlled, but strong. “Watch your tone.”

“My tone? That's what you focus on?”

“I believe you're done with dinner, Blaine. I think you should go finish that homework you mentioned.”

Blaine pushes back his chair and stands, leaving his plate as his mother's request. His eyes burn as he exits the kitchen, only to stop when his mother calls his name.

“I thought you might like your drink.” Blaine takes the can with a smile and turns for the stairs when she speaks again. “I wish you wouldn't test your father, dear, especially when he's only home for ten days. You know he's tired after being away; you don't have to question every little thing he says. He's not the bad guy, Blaine.”

Breathe in. They're not bad people.

Breathe out. They can't be.

Blaine loosens his grip on the aluminum and nods before carefully walking up the stairs. In his room – after flipping the light switch with his free hand – he sets the drink on his desk and turns on the small lamp before dropping into his chair. He pulls his phone from his pocket and almost sends a text to Kurt.

Blaine knows a conversation is better than a text message, and Kurt is working anyway. He'll call Kurt later, after he's done some homework.

He sets his phone on his desk, pulls his notebook toward him and reopens his calculus book.

Kurt's working, and they'll talk later.

-*-*-*-

Kurt releases a sigh of relief as he closes the book with a snap, having met his self-mandated quota. Sadly, the chapters haven't improved since his conversation with Blaine days before; if anything, Kurt finds the author even more pretentious. Still, the book now has several pale blue post-its scattered throughout its pages, and Kurt's notebook has additional comments as well.

Setting the book aside Kurt goes to his desk and wakes up his computer, smiling at the background image from the day of his engagement. He glances down at his ring – and the clock on his desktop – as he opens his browser to check his e-mail.

Halfway through deleting promotions from NYADA's bookstore and alerts that files had been added to his class's website, his phone buzzes across his desk, startling him even as he smiles at the ringtone.

“Hey. I was just about to call you; you had three more minutes before I started dialing nonstop. Usually we've already talked by now.”

Silence echoes down the line before he hears Blaine take a breath. “Sorry, Kurt. I – um, I knew you had work and I didn't want to call in the middle of your shift. But I could have called earlier. I just – dinner was…and then I ended up doing homework. But you're right; it's later than usual.”

Kurt's hand had tightened around his phone as Blaine rambled. Kurt knows Blaine: Blaine only rambles when nervous, or stressed.

“Blaine,” Kurt knows his voice betrays his worry, but he can't help himself, “Blaine I didn't mean it like that.” He pauses, briefly, unsure which part of Blaine's comment he wants to talk about first.  Making a decision, he takes a breath and continues. “You mentioned dinner; did something happen?”

“Yeah,” a breath through the line, “I um – I guess you could say that.

“I should have just ignored it, Kurt. Really. But I'm just tired and he kept…he kept making these little comments. He's made them since he's been home, but today after I failed that quiz I just snapped.”

“You're allowed to snap sometimes, you know.” Kurt forces himself not to continue; to not give voice to his feelings at the moment - Blaine's already upset.

“He's glad I work at Burt's shop. Apparently it's good for me to get my hands dirty. He said it's a ‘useful skill' and I know – I know he said it because he prefers that to Glee. And tonight at dinner…tonight I told him as much.”

Kurt closes his eyes and wishes he was in Ohio; wishes he was close enough to give his fiancé a hug. No fairy godmother for Kurt, though. He opens his eyes and he's still in New York, seated at his desk.

“I'm guessing that didn't go over well.”

“No, it didn't. But you know the worst part?” Blaine's voice is thick, but tense as he continues. “He didn't deny it. He just – he told me to watch my tone.” A bitter chuckle has Kurt's free hand clenching on his jeans. “Apparently it doesn't matter that I know he wishes I were straight, but how dare I comment on that fact with a tone.”

Through the phone, Kurt hears Blaine taking controlled breaths but doesn't comment. He knows how important control is for Blaine, and Kurt can give him that.

“I'm so sorry, Blaine. You shouldn't have to deal with that at home. No one should, really, but you especially don't deserve that. You're amazing just as you are; I wish they could see that.”

“My mom said she wishes I'd stop testing him. That he's tired from work. And I know he's tired; he has to be flying all over the world. But Kurt – he didn't deny it. And she didn't, either.”

Kurt silently curses Blaine's parents, using words he's certain would have his dad blushing. “I know they're your parents, but they don't get excuses for this, Blaine. They might not realize how it sounds; they might not have even meant it that way, but you're allowed to be upset when your parents aren't there for you.”

Blaine laughs sarcastically even as Kurt winces at his wording. “Most of the time they're not even in the state, but they're ‘not here for me' when we're in the same house.”

“You know,” Kurt pauses, his next words hesitant, “You know you're always welcome at my house, right? Dad and Carole love you.”

“I know, Kurt. And it's wonderful there. But what does it say about me, that I'd rather spend time with my future in-laws than my own parents, who aren't even home that much? And…it's not – they're not evil people, Kurt, you know?”

Kurt hums in response, “It doesn't say anything about you, Blaine. It just says everything about them.” Kurt sighs. “And they're your parents, so I know it's difficult, but you shouldn't feel uncomfortable in your own house. If that means spending time with your future in-laws,” Kurt hears his voice become softer at the words, “then I want you to always do what is best for you. Regardless of your parents.”

“You always know what to say.” Blaine's voice has lost its harshness, and the warmth makes Kurt smile. “I love you.”

“Well, what a coincidence: I love you, too.” Kurt looks to the ceiling, not wanting to say his next words, even though he knows they need to be said. “But Blaine, why didn't you call me earlier? I hate that you dealt with all that on your own and you don't have to, now. It's a perk of being engaged. I thought – I thought you knew I'll always answer.”  

“I do! I mean, I thought about calling or texting, Kurt. I really did. But I was upset after…everything and I just – I didn't want it to touch you.”

“Blaine.” Kurt sighs. “I'll admit that part of me finds it sweet that you want to protect me, or something, but Blaine we talked about this. Several times. Communication is important, and I'm glad you did call, and that means a lot – it does – but I wish you'd called earlier. I want – I want to be the one you talk to when you're upset.”

“You are!” Kurt can hear the truth in Blaine's voice, “You're the only person I want to talk to when I am, actually. But I knew you were at work and I knew we needed to talk and so I convinced myself it was better to wait than text. And then longer I waited the more I overthought it.” Blaine's breath hitches before he releases a sigh. “I'm sorry, Kurt.”

“You don't need to apologize, Blaine. Really. Just remember to call or text me the next time you're upset, even if you know I'm in class or at work.”

“I will. Promise. And Kurt, you know it's not that I don't want to talk to you, right? I just – I love you so much and I don't like when you're upset, especially when it's because of me.” That last of the sentence comes out rushed, as if Blaine hopes Kurt wouldn't hear.

Kurt hears every word.

“I can't say I enjoy being upset Blaine; I won't lie to you. But I'd always rather know what's happening, if you're upset and why, than be left in the dark. Okay, Blaine? I'd always rather know.”

“I'll tell you, I promise. I can't promise I'll call immediately – it's a hard habit to break – but I'll always let you know the same day. I always want to tell you, I just have to remind myself that I should.”

“Please do, Blaine, because if you don't I'll kill my phone battery.” Kurt forces a little humor in his tone, needing to lighten the conversation. “And we don't want that to happen.”

“No, we don't.” Kurt smiles to himself as he takes note of Blaine's voice, lighter now. “Kurt Hummel without access to his cell phone; I feel like I should send a letter of warning to New York.”

“Just remember to talk to me and it won't be problem. No letters needed.”

“I'll call, Kurt, I will. But you will too, right? When – if you're upset?”

“You know I already do. You're my go to guy. And now, I'm hoping I'm yours, too?”  Kurt knows he's being repetitive even as the words leave his mouth, but he can't stand the thought of Blaine staying silent in the future.

“Have been for years, Kurt. Never worry about that; I just have to work on my timing.” There's a pause, and then Blaine's voice through the phone brims with affection. “Thanks for making me talk, Kurt. I love you.”

Kurt smiles into his empty room. “I love you, too. I'm glad I could help.”

Blaine hums in response before adding, “You always do.”

“It's one of my many talents. So,” Kurt draws out the word, “After working on homework for hours; does that mean you're done for the night?”

“Almost. I'm just going to review calc some more…maybe do a few extra problems.”

“Sounds exhilarating.”

“The joys of high school. Don't act like you don't remember; you were here not too long ago.”

“Mm. Point, but I haven't head to deal with calc in a while. It's all theatre history, singing, dancing, and acting. And papers. Lots of papers.”

“Well, I know what to expect, at least.”

“Aren't you lucky, having a fiancé to let you know what to expect in college.”

“The luckiest.”

Kurt laughs. “You're a dork, Blaine Anderson.”

“You've known that for years. And you still agreed to marry me.”

“I don't know what I was thinking, really.”

“Liar.”

“Maybe. Just a bit.” Kurt pauses, wishes he could suspend time. “But you said something about review?”

“Can we pretend I didn't? It's more fun to talk to you.”

“If only, but you have calc and I have to research journal articles.” Kurt glances at the time even as he yawns. “And sleep, at some point.”

“I dislike your logic.” The teasing tone takes away any sting from the words. “But you're right; like usual.”

“Of course I am. Not that I want to do homework either. And Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm glad you're okay now, but you promise to call if something happens? Even if you think it's small?”

“I already promised, Kurt, but yes, I'll call or text if I get upset; you'll get sick of hearing my voice.”

“Never. But now we have to be good students.”

Blaine groans. “Fine, fine. Talk to you later?”

“Mm. Before bed, just like always.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Kurt ends the call with a touch of his finger, setting the warm phone on his desk.

The echo of Blaine's voice rings in his mind, though; somehow louder than the soft music from his iPod in the corner.

Kurt still refuses to say goodbye, but alone in his room the absence of Blaine resonates.

He pulls up the library's website and ignores the worry still surrounding all thoughts of Blaine.

-*-*-*-

Two hours of searching and three possibly helpful articles later, Kurt closes the tab with the library's website with a snap of his wireless mouse. He sips his lukewarm coffee before setting the mug down and stretching, hoping it will alleviate the pinch he feels under his ribs. A quick burst of pain, and then the muscle relaxes and Kurt sighs and slumps in his chair.

His conversation with Blaine replays in his mind, and he absently bites his lower lip. The comments from Blaine's parents aren't a new development, but they are taxing; stress Blaine doesn't need. Kurt isn't sure what to do with the current situation, and wishes – again – that he'd known earlier, so he could have called his father for advice.

Now, it's too late for a phone call; a ringing phone this late signals an emergency, and while Kurt's worry for Blaine has basis, it's not bad enough to warrant the heart pounding anxiety that accompanies such a call. Not at night.

Kurt will call in between classes tomorrow.

He trusts that Blaine will call when things get bad, that he won't attempt to keep his pain to himself, but Kurt also knows how badly Blaine wishes to please everyone. How he simultaneously strives to be himself and keep those around him happy. Kurt knows how much energy it takes to wear a mask all the time; Blaine shouldn't feel the need to wear one in his home.

Kurt knows his dad and Carole care for Blaine, knows that after his call Blaine will get even more invitations to dinner, more hours scheduled at Hummel Tire & Lube. And Kurt will have an ally in Ohio; someone else looking out for Blaine, while Blaine continues to look after Burt.

Kurt's not a fan of manipulation – that doesn't mean he's not adept at using it, especially to look after the ones he loves.  

Text message from Kurt:

I'm done for the night! My brain can't handle any more articles

Text message from Kurt:

I hope you're done soon, too! You need sleep to get through school and helping Dad tomorrow ;)

Text message from Blaine:

One and half more problems – then I'll call and we can get ready for bed. :) And I'll get some coffee before heading to the shop tomorrow.

Text message from Kurt:

Perfect plan! :)

Text message from Blaine:

I try :D

Kurt smiles and sets his phone on his bed before getting his pajamas. He wishes Blaine were already sharing the loft, there for hugs and whispers and soft kisses, but for now he has an adorable fiancé who sends flirty texts and talks with him every night.

Life isn't perfect; Kurt's mind still holds on to the worry from earlier, but Blaine will call soon.

Kurt smiles.