Dec. 19, 2011, 3:06 p.m.
Sketchy Relations: Missing You (Part 3)
E - Words: 8,636 - Last Updated: Dec 19, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 21/? - Created: Aug 26, 2011 - Updated: Dec 19, 2011 1,353 0 1 0 0
����“Jeff!” the little girl squealed, shaking her uncle’s shoulder once again. Another giggle left her lips when the older boy only moaned before his eyes fluttered open. “Morning!” she cried out happily, leaning over to place a kiss on the blonds cheek.
����“Carly?” Jeff asked in a hoarse voice, blinking in confusion once he finally realized his phone had somehow stuck to his cheek. His brow furrowed as he tried to remember how that had happened, slowly peeling the screen of his phone from his face. Another round of giggles left the little girl sitting next to him as he rubbed at the newly freed skin.
����“Your face looks funny, Uncle Jeff.” Carly said, placing her little hands over her mouth to stifle another round of laughter once she had seen the other’s normally styled hair sticking up in random places.
����“When did you and your mom get here?” Jeff asked through a yawn, frowning when his phone wouldn’t power on. Had he used it that much in the last two days? He rubbed his face before reaching for the cable of his charger that rested on his nightstand.
����“I dunno." Carly said with a little shrug of her small shoulders. “Mommy said you probably wouldn’t wake up till later." she began, scooting closer to her uncle as the other plugged his phone in.
����“I guess she didn’t take you into consideration?” he asked, another yawn leaving him before he leaned forward to pull the little girl into a hug. She squealed in delight, causing a grin to cross his face as he kissed the top of her dark colored head. “Morning, Carly." he murmured. “I missed you.”
����“Uncle Jeff, will Nick be coming around?” Carly asked, wiggling out of Jeff’s arms as the phone buzzed loudly against the wooden nightstand.
����Jeff smiled at the bright eyed girl that was staring at him hopefully. Ever since Nick had met his young niece, they had somehow formed a friendship he couldn't understand. They would share little secrets and laughs whenever they were with one another, and Nick was always sure to get the girl something for her birthday and Christmas. Pretty much every time he knew he was going to see her, Carly would end up with a new coloring book or a stuffed toy that his boyfriend gave her. “Not this year, he’s spending it with Tony, Anna-belle, and their parents." he explained, reaching over to pick up his phone as the little girl began to pout.
����“I wanted to see him, though.” Carly said, tugging at the sheet that was currently draped over Jeff’s long legs. “Can’t you take me to see him?” she asked, shooting another hopeful look in the blonds direction and crossing her arms over her chest when she realized the other was giving all his attention to his phone.
����Was the first text he read, which caused the corners of his mouth to lift. He quickly tapped out of that message to read the next one, imagining Nick’s skeptical look upon his face as he read the other’s words.
����Jeff grinned, thinking back to the framed picture of the Coffee Rangers! he and Nick had placed on the wall in their dorm room. Though his boyfriend constantly ragged on him about watching his Power Rangers dvd’s, he still caught the green eyed warbler staring up at the sketch at times.
����That text made him laugh as the affectionate tone of voice the other always used when he called him that rung through his ears. Carly was now pulling on his other arm, trying to get him to leave the comfort of his warm bed. He ignored her easily, even when she began to chatter and complain about him not moving fast enough.
����That had been the last message Nick had sent and even though they had been dating for over two years, it still made his heart beat faster whenever his boyfriend used those three words. He managed to pull his arm away from his young niece to type out another I love you in return before placing his phone back on the nightstand. He knew the other wouldn’t be awake for a few more hours, meaning he would have to wait to call. “Alright, Carly." he began when a dramatic sigh left the five-year-old, “I’ll be out in a second, let me get dressed okay?”
����Carly perked up once Jeff had finally relented, jumping up and down excitedly, which caused her braided pig-tails to fly up with the movement. “Okay!” she exclaimed happily before running from the room, slamming the door behind her.
����Jeff groaned as the loud sound seemed to slam against his eardrums, causing his head to ache. He slowly kicked his blankets and sheets off, noticing with some amusement that he had fallen asleep in his jeans the night before. What had he and Nick been talking about before he had passed out anyway? He dug through his dresser for a clean shirt his mother had stuffed inside the day he had arrived, claiming that he needed new clothes anyway when he had asked her why the shirts and pants still had price tags attached. Finally finding a light blue one he like, he slipped it over his head after he had gone through his normal morning routine, missing his toothbrushing partner.
����“Carly Anne Sterling, I told you not to wake him!” a woman exclaimed in the kitchen as he walked down the stairs, regretting his lazy choice of not going back for socks when his bare feet hit the hardwood floor. He hid another yawn behind his hand before walking into the kitchen where Sarah was still scolding his niece.
����“Sarah, it’s okay.” he spoke up, walking to the refrigerator to grab the orange juice carton. He almost dropped it when the little girl ran into the back of his legs, latching on as she peeked out from behind them to watch her mother closely.
����“Mommy is being mean.” Carly whined, hiding her face against Jeff’s legs once again when Sarah opened her mouth to retort.
����“Are you being mean to my little girl?” a deep voice asked from the entrance, a loud shriek of joy leaving the little girl as she unattached her self from around Jeff’s legs to run towards her father.
����“Daddy!” Sarah giggled happily, screaming in delight when the tall man picked her up from the floor, pressing a gentle kiss to her little cheek as he held her in his arms. “She was!”
����“Well, that's not very nice.” the man said, giving his ex-wife a cheeky grin before walking over to the little table in the corner of the large kitchen. He pulled out a chair to sit down, setting his daughter on his knee as she continued to cling to him, sticking her tongue out at her mother over her father’s shoulder.
����“I swear, she’ll never learn how to behave if you keep coddling her like that.” Sarah sniffed before throwing an affectionate smile towards Jeff. “Sorry about her waking you up, I guess she was too excited to wait." she said, walking over to the stove where a mixing bowl with pancake mix sat. She picked it up, slowly stirring a spoon through it before turning towards the younger blond in the room. Even though Carly had gotten her dark brown hair and blue eyes, she was one-hundred percent sure she had gotten her father’s personality.
����Jeff shrugged before unscrewing the little cap off of the orange juice, drinking from the carton itself instead of taking the effort to get a glass down from the cabinet. He ignored the little noise of disgust Sarah sent his way, swallowing a few more times before recapping the juice and stuffing it back in the refrigerator which was packed with plates of food and other related things for their Thanksgiving dinner. He himself never understood why his mother prepared food days before, but if it made her happy and kept her occupied he wasn’t going to say anything. “It really is fine Sarah, I don’t mind,” he finally said, stomach growling when the smell of pancakes filled the air after the woman had poured the batter into the frying pan. “Besides, I hardly get to see her." he pointed out, watching as Sarah’s shoulders hunched slightly.
����“Jeff, don’t.” Keith called out from his chair, gently attempting to smooth Carly’s hair down.
����His brother’s pleading tone caused him to frown before he walked over to the table as well, pulling out the other chair to sit down. Things had been tense between his brother and Sarah ever since they had found she had gotten pregnant with Carly in their junior year of high school, meaning Jeff himself found he was going to be an uncle when he was twelve. Of course they had both panicked, which meant their rushed marriage had barely lasted a year. Though Sarah had a new boyfriend who was constantly around and even helping her raise Carly, Jeff knew his brother still loved Sarah. The constant pained and longing looks he sent her when he thought she wasn’t looking was enough proof for him.
����Keith only loved one other person more, and it was his little girl. Carly was his whole world, even though he only saw her every other weekend and holiday. Jeff had heard him arguing over the phone with Sarah the night he had gotten home, the man nearly in tears when he finally hung up only to tell the rest of his family that they couldn’t get little Carly for Christmas after all. It was what had prompted the Power Rangers marathon all night and next day, with Jeff trying to get his brother a little more upbeat for when his daughter would arrive, even if she was only allowed to stay a few days. He continued to watch his brother as he talked to Carly, the bright smiles and happy laughs he shared with her causing his own smile to return.
����“Oh Jeff, honey." his mother said once she had walked into the kitchen, an empty coffee mug cupped in her small hands. “I didn’t know you were awake already, do you feel alright?” the blond haired woman asked, walking up to her youngest son to press her hand against his forehead. “You don’t have fever...” she mumbled, smiling at Jeff when he grinned up at her.
����“I”m fine, Mom.” Jeff said, rolling his eyes when he felt one of her small hands run through his tousled hair. “Morning." he added when she left his side to walk up to the counter, pouring another cup of coffee.
����Rose gave her son a quick good morning before turning her gaze towards Sarah, blue eyes narrowing as she took in the girl. She still couldn’t believe she was pregnant again with another man’s child. Of course she wouldn’t admit it, but she was still sore over the fact that Sarah had divorced her son, though the reason why was still sketchy even up to this point. Keith wouldn’t tell anyone the real reason, and every time she tried to ask her former daughter-in-law, all she got was snappy retorts reminding her to mind her own business. Needless to say, the two of them barely got along, even with the knowledge that her oldest son was still pining over the other woman. She sighed softly when giggles began to fill the air, cutting through the tension as they continued. Turning towards Keith, she smiled as she watched him continue the tickle attack that was causing the girl to squeal. “For heavens sakes Keith, let the poor child breathe." she called out in a little laugh, watching as Carly took in big gulps of air once Keith had finally relented.
����“Mornin’," a tall, dark haired man mumbled out as he walked through the entrance of the kitchen. He easily scooped up his granddaughter when she crawled off her father's lap, running towards him with raised arms. “How are you?” he asked, smiling when the little girl pressed a kiss to his stubbly cheek.
����“Excited!” Carly exclaimed. “Daddy said it’s gonna be a lot of fun at Thanksgiving!” she said, practically bouncing in the man’s arms.
����“Daddy told you it wasn’t until a few days, remember?” Sarah called out, returning to her pancakes when Rose shot her a glare.
����“Aww, don’t ruin her excitement.” the man said before dropping the little girl back on her father’s lap, Keith launching another tickle attack almost immediately. With a chuckle he turned towards his wife and the coffee pot, looking away from the dark look the woman was giving him.
����“You didn’t come to bed until late last night, Greg.” Rose pointed out, poking her husbands shoulder as he began to fix his own mug of coffee.
����“Papers don’t grade themselves." Greg pointed out, a grin stretching across his face when his wife only sighed and pressed a kiss against his cheek. He took a sip of his coffee after he had mixed his cream and sugar in, turning to face both of his boys now. It was amazing how similar they looked to one another. Both having blond hair and a tall build, the younger having his brown eyes and the older having their mother’s clear blue eyes. While Keith was a bit more built than Jeff, he knew it was only a matter of time before the younger would grow into his own body even more. “Morning boys." he said, smiling towards his youngest when he received a warm smile.
����To be honest, Greg had been shocked when his son had come out to him. He had even sent him to a therapist, of all things, something of which he was ashamed of now. It had taken a bit of time for him to accept, but it wasn’t like he had shunned his own child, no. Granted, it was a bit awkward for a few months, but he never had the thought of disowning Jeff or throwing him to the streets. He had down his research, sat down and actually talked with his son, and had even spoken to his wife several times before he felt comfortable enough to accept it. Once he had, everything had run smoothly. Well, besides his other son’s complications.
����Everything had changed when Jeff brought Nick Duval home one day. The boy had been so nervous and quiet, when asked anything his son defended him almost instantly. At first he thought it might have been a one time thing, they just seemed too unalike to him, even when his wife had told him she thought that perhaps Jeff was very serious about the boy. So he did the responsible thing, of course, told his son to be ‘safe’ with the boy, something he apparently neglected with his oldest. When Jeff continued to bring the boy around for dinner and even the occasional holiday, he finally asked his son why Nick was so skittish and quiet. It wasn’t normal to him and it made him fear that perhaps Jeff was hanging around the wrong type of guy. That was, until he was told the truth about Nick’s past.
����After the truth had been revealed, he, along with his wife, saw his son’s boyfriend in a new light. They quickly fell in love with the boy as they noticed how hard he tried, for Jeff, to get along and talk to people. He had even began to open up more around them, something Greg enjoyed, considering it really did seem like Nick would be sticking around for a long time yet. Though now that he was attached, he wouldn’t know who he would be more angry with if the two of them broke things off with one another.
����“How’s Nick?” Rose asked, smiling when Jeff’s face lit up. “He’s eating right?” she asked, tilting her head to the side as she tried to remember the boy’s physical state the last time she had seen him. “That boy is too skinny for my liking, don't his foster parents feed him?” she asked, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
����“Mom.” Jeff said with a sigh. “He’s fine, and yes, they feed him," he said with a shake of his head. “He almost came over again this year but Jill and Mark wanted him to spend time with them this time.”
����Rose released a soft huff before she began her trek towards the kitchen’s entrance. “Well, I’m still going to wrap him up a few turkey sandwiches. Oh, and those chocolate pies he loves so much.” she said, speaking to herself mostly as she left, Greg shaking his head as he followed her out.
����Keith smiled as he looked at his younger brother, Carly sliding off his lap to walk up to her mother. She began to chatter to her excitedly about the games she would play with the other girls at Thanksgiving, making sure to let her mother know that boys were icky and they weren’t allowed to play with them. “They really like Nick, you know?”
����Jeff smiled thankfully at Sarah as she placed a plate full of pancakes covered in butter and pancakes in front of him. He took a bite of his breakfast before he nodded towards his older brother. “I’m quite fond of him myself." he said after he swallowed his mouthful, grinning once again when the older man laughed loudly.
����“How is he, really?” Keith asked, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he watched his brother mull over his question while he took another bite of his pancakes.
����“Good.” Jeff managed around his mouthful of pancake. Though he knew better than that himself. Nick had been acting a little strange...well, okay, stranger than normal lately. He just figured it had to do with his sudden protective streak he felt towards Kurt, so he didn’t bother bringing it up. He trusted his boyfriend, especially with everything they had been through together.
����The rest of his day was spent playing with Carly and his brother, though they did manage to anger Sarah when they brought her daughter back soaking wet and covered in mud from the backyard. She hadn’t told Keith off too much though, and they all managed to take a shower before his own mother had caught on. Though he knew he wouldn’t be able to spend time with his brother after the Thanksgiving break, not even over Christmas this year, he still missed Nick terribly and couldn’t wait to hold him in his arms again.
����"Where’s the kid?” a gruff voice shouted, the sound of the door slamming following after.
����“Hunter, leave him alone. He hasn’t done a thing!” a woman pleaded, her voice high and panicked. “You’re drunk again, please, just go lie down.”
����“Get off me, you stupid bitch!” Hunter yelled, the woman crying out suddenly, and Nick knew from the sound of skin slapping together that she had been slapped.
����He heard his mother’s quiet sobbing easily,since their rundown home had such thin walls you could practically hear what was going at all hours of the day and night. The staggering steps the man was taking began to get louder as they proceeded down the hallway, Nick’s breath hitching as he pushed against the door with his back. He wasn’t sure why it was like this, it hadn’t always been so. They had all actually been happy at one point in time, but he supposed his father losing his job had something to do with the way he had changed over the years.
����“Stop hiding, you little coward!” Hunter bellowed, finally coming upon his son’s bedroom door. His hand stumbled as he tried to grasp the door handle, his grip tight once he finally latched onto it to twist. Realizing that Nick was holding on to the handle on the other side he grunted, pushing against the door with all his weight.
����Nick licked his lips nervously as he continued to to push against his father, not wanting to admit that his own body was shaking slightly from fear. His back still ached from the last time his father had taken the belt to him. The man on the other side of the door began to pound his fists against the flimsy wood, more panic settling in Nick’s stomach when the other began to kick as well. The door bounced even with all his weight and force pressed against it, a small whimper leaving his throat.
����Suddenly the pounding and kicking stopped, but Nick knew better than to think his father was finished. Even when he was drunk, he was stubborn to the point he always worked to where he got what he wanted. If he had to wait hours to gain it, then he would. He heard the heavy breathing behind his door, thinking that maybe the man had fallen asleep against the door like he had a few times before. His mother’s sobs had stopped by now and he was beginning to worry about her, always fearing that maybe the man would go too far one day.
����Nick closed his eyes before taking a deep breath, slowly moving away from the door when he heard something hard and heavy hit the hallway floor from the other side. Cautiously, he cracked the door open to see his father sprawled out on the ragged carpet that covered the hallway floor, his chest lifting and falling in a slow rhythm. Slowly and quietly, he slipped out of his small bedroom, keeping one eye on the large man as he made his way to the hunched up figure sitting on the hand-me-down couch in the middle of the living room.
����“Mom.” he whispered softly, kneeling on the floor before reaching out to touch her shoulder. The dark haired woman jumped at his touch, her head snapping up and panic flashing in her green eyes before she realized it was her son.
����“Oh, Nick.""""she whispered, another broken sob leaving her chest. “Are you alright?” she asked, reaching up quickly to cup his face in her cold hands.
����“I’m fine, he fell asleep again.” Nick reassured her, frowning when he noticed the large red splotch on the right side of her face. “You’ve got to stop defending me...he only hurts you more," he whispered, knowing her face would be blue and splotchy by the end of the night. His mother smiled, shaking her head slightly as she pushed his bangs away from his face.
����“Don’t you worry about me.” she said softly, looking over her son’s face again. “It’s my job to defend my own child, it kind of came with the job description of being a mother.” she trailed off for a moment, head tilting slightly as Nick gently touched her face. “Perhaps you’ll know one day.”
����“Mom," Nick said with a sigh, shaking his head slightly. “The last time I checked men couldn’t give birth, you know?”
����“There’s always adoption.” his mother pointed out. “Maybe one day you’ll find that special someone, Nick.” she began, ignoring the soft scoff the other gave in return. “If you do, I expect at least one.”
����Nick watched his mother smile, noticing she winced slightly when she did so. “Right.” he said, standing up and moving to sit next to her on the couch. “How about we concentrate on getting out of here first before we start talking about my non-existent perfect partner and child.” he mumbled softly. He sometimes regretted telling his mother that he thought he was gay, because lately all the woman could talk about was him finding a nice boy and their future, which was something he knew never would happen.
����“Soon.” the woman whispered, taking her son’s larger hands in hers. “I promise.” she said, flashing another smile towards her son.
����“Yeah...” Nick said, not looking his mother in the eye. She had been saying that ever since everything had begun spiraling out of control.
����“No, I really mean it this ti-”
����“Is that little fucker out yet?” Hunter groaned, struggling slightly as he fought to sit up straight. His face darkened when he saw Nick sitting next to his wife, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. He struggled to stand, having to use the wall for balance as he waddled towards the little living room. “Don’t you move...” he grumbled, shoulder leaning against the entryway as he reached down to unbuckle the belt from his pants.
����Nick paled once he heard the sickening sound of the belt buckle clanking together as his father’s large meaty hands pulled it from the loops of his jeans. “Mom.” he whispered, looking at his mother’s shocked face. “Go to the bedroom.” he urged quickly.
����“Hunter, don’t...” the woman began, only to be hushed by her son. She let the teen push her towards her bedroom, even allowed him to shut the door in her face.
����“Come here, you little shit.” Hunter said, reaching out for his son, who dodged him easily to run down the hall and back in his room. He let out a yell of frustration, stilling when he heard his wife’s quiet sniffles behind their bedroom door. “This is all your fault, wench!”
����Nick pushed his door open again once he heard his mother’s panicked voice. He ran into the living room, glaring at the back of his father’s head before speaking up. “Leave her alone!” he yelled, stomach sinking when �the man turned to face him. His father stepped towards him and he resisted the urge to run back to his own room to hide, knowing that if he did his mother would bear the brunt of the man’s anger.
����Nick’s blood pumped loudly in his ears as the drunk man stumbled closer and closer, eventually towering over him. He cried out when he was pushed to the floor, bracing himself for the first blow. Once the end of the buckle hit his back he bit his bottom lip to keep from screaming out, knowing his mother would come running to try and intervene if he did so.
����“This is your fucking fault, isn’t it?” the man roared, continuing to slam the belt down hard on the teen’s back as he rambled on. “It’s all your damn fault...”
����“Hunter, stop!” the woman yelled once she had opened the bedroom door. Nick heard the man grunt again, noticing the absence of the hard metal buckle. He heard the man’s shoes rub against the carpet as he turned to face his mother, fear washing over him once again as he gained enough courage to sit up and turn around. He grabbed the man’s leg in hopes that he would fall, but he had no such luck when the large metal belt buckle came flying towards his face-
����Loud buzzing filled the room as Nick’s eyes fluttered open, his heart still racing and his mind still hazy on what was real and what was a dream. He rolled over, arms stretching out in search of the familiar warmth that was usually pressed against him as he slept. When nothing but a pillow was found, more panic settled over him as he sat up, frantically looking for Jeff around the room.
����“Jeff." he called out in a choked voice, breathing calming once he began to realize where exactly he was. He looked around his bedroom again dejectedly, knowing now it wasn’t the dorm room he shared with his boyfriend at Dalton. He reached up slowly, running his fingers over where the belt buckle actually had hit him that night years ago. The skin was smooth and unmarred, causing him to calm even more as he rested his back against the headboard to his bed.
����Nick knew he wouldn’t be getting much sleep over the break, simply because Jeff wouldn’t be sleeping next him. However, he didn’t factor in the nightmares he always had when the other wasn’t around. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t have to depend on the blond to sleep or comfort him when he fell apart, but he did. �He had for almost two years now, which in the beginning he never thought would last that long.
����Once his heart seemed to be beating at a normal pace again, he turned his head to the right to look at his phone that rested on his nightstand, giving it a thankful look. He reached over for it, the bright light causing him to squint for a few moments before he could see what time it was. Knowing that he would have suffered through more of his nightmare if he hadn’t been woken up, he didn’t groan when the time stated it was only eight-thirty in the morning. He unlocked his phone, a smile crossing his face as he read the message that had woken him him.
“I wish you were here, too.” Nick whispered, still staring over the text message that Jeff had sent him a few minutes before. He was slightly surprised the blond was up so early, but he wasn’t about to question it. Instead, he placed his phone beside him on the bed, knowing that the other had probably rolled back over to sleep for the rest of the day. Nick really wanted to call and hear Jeff’s voice, but he didn’t want to keep him from sleeping when he knew the other loved to sleep late into the day when he could.
����With a heavy sigh Nick slowly removed himself from his bed, opening his bedroom door and walking down the hall to the bathroom he shared with Tony and Anna-belle. He closed the door behind him quietly before flipping on the light, glancing in the mirror to make sure his face was still in one piece. Once he was reassured, he quickly took care of his usual morning needs, missing the feeling of Jeff’s hip brushing against his as he brushed his teeth.
����When he returned to his room he sat on the end of his bed, staring into empty space as he thought about the person he missed so much. He knew space was needed for a relationship to work, but it didn’t mean that he had to like it. With a heavy sigh he looked around the room, his eyes landing on the first present he had ever received from Jeff sitting in the corner. The acoustic guitar’s polished surface gleamed as the morning light filtered through his bedroom window. He smiled, remembering the first few times Jeff had given him lessons on the very same guitar, missing the warmth of the other’s arms as he recalled the way the other had hugged him in excitement when he had finally mastered a simple song.
����Nick stared at it for a few more minutes before standing from his seat on the bed and walking across his room to take it from the stand it had been resting on. He carried it back to his bed once he had made sure his door was shut all the way, returning to his seat before he began to strum the chords absently. His fingers brushed against the words written in black marker beneath the bridge where the strings were connected, another smile lighting up his face as he read.
At least now you’ll always have something connected to me, you remember how I told you this was my first guitar right? I know you don’t want to go too much further with our relationship, and I understand. I’ll wait forever if I have to.
I just really like you okay?
Happy late birthday/Congrats on mastering Marry Had A Little lamb! :)
����Laughter bubbled up from his throat, another smile crossing his lips as he shook his head. “I swear, you are such a dork sometimes...” he whispered, plucking a few more strings before sighing. “But you are my dork.” he added quietly, leaning back and crossing his legs before he began to strum actual notes to the song running around in his head.
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home
How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home~
Nick closed his eyes as he imagined the rest of the instruments playing around him, also picturing Jeff wrapping his arms around him in hugs and the simple way he held him at night as they slept.
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
You put your arms around me and I'm home~
����The room was eerily quiet once he finished and had pulled himself from his own memories. He laid the guitar on his bed, bringing up his legs and wrapping his arms around them to hug them to his chest as he rested his chin on top of his knees. Realization dawned on him then, that he was very lucky in finding Jeff, who had put up with all his insecurities and drama. It was just another thing to add to his list of what he was thankful for that year, including his other four friends as well.
����Nick couldn’t help but think back to Kurt and Blaine again. Could Kurt gain the same luck with Blaine and have arms encircle him as well, or did something like he himself had found only happen once in a lifetime? Did the other junior really want to have someone in his life, or was Blaine barking up the wrong tree? Would Blaine understand and accept what had happened to Kurt and be able to look past it? Was it even possible for his new friend to get over something like that so soon, was he strong enough?
����Yes he was, Nick just knew it. He had seen the anger flashing in Kurt’s bright eyes that time the coffee shop and with Pavarotti and Randal. He had seen the looks he sent Blaine when the senior wasn’t looking and he had noticed how much he had grown since his first night at Dalton. The real question was if Kurt wanted to let someone in or not, and Nick found himself hoping that he did. He had refused at first, not wanting anything to do with Jeff when the blond had first introduced himself. He had eventually caved though and allowed the other to capture his heart. Blaine was different, though, he had seen his own fair share of horrible things and tended to give up easily. Would he end up fighting for Kurt when he found out, or would he just run the other direction like he had done so many times before?
����“Nick!”
����Nick jumped at the loud shout that echoed through the house, hands clutching his comforter as he calmed himself. The person shouted again and he recognized it as his foster-mother’s voice. With a soft sigh he stood up, flattened his hair down and grabbed his phone before heading out of his room. He made a mental note to check up on Kurt once he had called Jeff later that day. Contacting Blaine would probably be a good idea too, knowing him he would run off to Lima just to see Kurt if the other forgot to text him back or something.
����The ride to Lima’s only florist was nicer than Kurt had expected it to be, though he was amused that Teenage Dream seemed to be on repeat as it played in the background softly. Blaine talked about his own Thanksgiving traditions, a smile on his face the whole time he explained. He had asked a few questions about Kurt's mother, like what kind of flowers she liked and what kind of person she was. Kurt answered as truthfully as he could, the guilt building at each new question.
����They were now looking around the little shop, a serious expression etched into Blaine’s face as he searched for the ‘perfect’ flowers. Kurt only stood back and watched, already knowing what he was going to get because it was the same flower he always bought when he visited his mother’s grave. The other Warbler asked a few more questions, but mostly did the shopping on his own, which Kurt was thankful for. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could skip around the truth.
����Once Blaine had finally made his decision they walked up to the counter, the familiar old woman greeting Kurt with a bright smile when her dark brown eyes landed on him. “There you are, sweetie, I haven’t seen you around lately," she said, offering another smile to the shorter male standing beside Kurt.
����“Oh, I’ve...been busy.” Kurt answered quietly, looking away when Blaine gave him a confused look.
����“Of course." the woman said with a little nod. “The usual then?” she asked, already slipping on her gloves and grabbing her clippers as she waited for Kurt’s answer.
����“Yes Ma’am.” Kurt said softly, glancing at Blaine to see the confused look from earlier still graced his face.
����“I would actually like to place an order too, please.” Blaine said politely, flashing a charming smile when the older woman turned her gaze on him.
����“What would you like, dear?” she asked, watching the boy closely.
����“A dozen mixed yellow and red daisies, please.” Blaine requested, pulling out his wallet when the woman shuffled away to clip the flowers they had asked for. Once he had pulled out enough to cover his and hopefully Kurt’s purchase, he focused his attention on the junior. “You buy flowers for your mom often?”
����Kurt felt himself tense but he managed a nod. “Yes, she...likes them a lot." he said with a small shrug, hands clasping together in front of him.
����“That’s really sweet.” Blaine said with a smile, thankful that the older woman was a lot faster than she looked when he noticed she had already returned behind the counter. He watched her wrap an elastic band around his order, confused when she didn’t place any decorative paper around it as well. He was about to ask why when he finally saw what Kurt’s ‘usual’ was, a single white lily that stood in contrast against the other colored flowers.
����“Together or separate?” the woman suddenly asked, pulling Blaine from his current thoughts. Kurt began to dig in his pocket for his own wallet when the other male cleared his throat.
����“Don’t worry about it, Kurt.” Blaine said, pushing a twenty over the counter when the woman had finished pushing the buttons on her cash-register.
����“Blaine, I-” Kurt began, really not wanting the other to have to pay for gas and all of the flowers as well.
����“Kurt, really it’s fine.” Blaine said happily, telling the store owner to keep the change after she had handed them their flowers.
����Kurt sighed softly, letting the other lead him from the shop and back into Blaine’s car. He held the flowers in his hands as the other drove, Katy Perry’s voice filling the awkward silence whenever Kurt wasn’t giving directions to the graveyard that Blaine though was his mother’s house.
����“I’m nervous." Blaine admitted as they waited behind a line of traffic. He glanced towards Kurt who was looking down at the flowers he was holding, the grip his hand had on the stems causing his knuckles to turn white. “Does she not know...that you’re gay?” he finally asked, stomach turning nervously since he was basically asking Kurt himself for the first time.
����Kurt slowly looked up at Blaine with a confused expression before he finally realized what the other was asking. “Oh...Dad said they knew since I was three.” he said quietly, confusion growing again when the other teen shot him a relieved look.
����“So your dad knows then?” Blaine asked, mentally cheering. Sure, he and the others had been pretty sure that Kurt was gay, but no one had ever asked him before. Now that he knew for sure, his hope flared up even higher.
����“Yeah.” Kurt said, biting his bottom lip as the car finally managed to escape the traffic jam it had been stuck in for a few minutes before. “You’re going to turn left up ahead." he said softly, wondering if Blaine had even seen the large sign that had stated which direction to turn for Lima’s cemetery.
����When Blaine finally parked, he realized something he should have hours, maybe even a month ago. He turned his head towards Kurt’s hunched form in the passenger seat. “Your mother is...dead?” he asked softly, glancing back towards the cemetery where neat little tombstones lined the field.
����Kurt closed his eyes for a moment before lifting his head. “Yes,” he began, turning in his seat to face Blaine. He noticed the sad expression, wondering why the other wasn’t angry or upset he had lead him to meet his mother that he had thought was alive. “Blaine, I’ll pay you back for the gas and flowers. I’ll even get Finn to pick me up if you don’t want to drive me home an-”
����“Kurt." Blaine interrupted quickly, reaching out to place his hand on the junior’s knee. “Hey, it’s okay,” he whispered, noticing the way Kurt worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’m not mad, just...surprised.” he continued, shaking his head. “I just assumed she was alive...I’m sorry.”
����Kurt blinked in surprise, the panic that had balled up in the middle of his chest lessening slightly as Blaine’s hazel eyes stared into his own. This boy wasn’t mad or angry that he hadn’t told him the truth, he didn’t even seem the least bit annoyed. “No, I should have told you." he finally said, shaking his head when Blaine’s mouth opened again. The other shouldn’t have been the one to apologize. “I’m sorry." he whispered, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch when Blaine gave him a sad smile in return. He felt Blaine’s hand squeeze his knee, confused when the other took his keys from the ignition before opening his car door and sliding out of his seat.
����Blaine shut his door quickly and practically ran around the front of his car to open the passenger door. When Kurt looked up at him with another confused expression he smiled, holding out his hand. “I can still meet her, can’t I?” he asked, stomach performing an odd flip when Kurt took his hand. He pulled the other up slightly, closing the passenger door behind the other as he continued to hold Kurt’s warm hand in his own.
����“You really don’t have to do this, Blaine," Kurt said quietly as he led the shorter Warbler through the cemetery’s open gates, stopping in the middle of the pathway to look into the other’s face once more.
����Blaine smiled again, looking straight into Kurt’s beautiful colored eyes that seemed even bluer that day. “I want to, Kurt.” he began. “Even if she has passed, I still want to share this with you.” he continued quietly. “Unless you don’t want me to?” he asked quickly, afraid that he had over stepped his boundaries.
“No, I mean I do...well I....” Kurt trailed off, flustered. He opened his mouth to try and explain again before giving up and tugging Blaine through the rows of tombstones, reaching his mothers a few minutes later. He slowly pulled his hand away from the Blaine’s, kneeling down on his knee to place his lily upon the grass in front of the tombstone. “This is her.” he whispered, staring at the polished marble like he had done so many times before. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, slightly surprised when Blaine knelt down beside him as well.
“Hello, Mrs. Hummel.” Blaine said softly, placing his red and yellow daisies next to Kurt’s lily. He suddenly realized why the woman at the shop hadn’t wrapped them in paper. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” he said, glancing at Kurt.
“You don’t have to...do this.” Kurt said, his cheeks flushing as his own memories of talking to his mother’s tombstone resurfaced. He looked back at Blaine when the other chuckled, surprised that the dark haired boy had now sat on the grass with his legs crossed.
“It would be rude not to talk to introduce myself though.” Blaine said, staring back at the white marble that that had Elizabeth’s name scrawled across it in an elegant font. “My name is Blaine Anderson, and I just wanted to thank you.”
Kurt sat beside Blaine once he began to speak, watching as the wind ruffled the daisies petals. He wasn’t sure what Blaine was talking about but he wasn’t about to interrupt him since that would be considered rude, right?
“I wouldn’t have Kurt without you.” Blaine continued, wrapping his arm around the other’s shoulders. “He’s become one of my best friends, I wouldn’t know what to do without him.” he said quietly, surprised and thrilled at the same time when Kurt leaned over to rest his head against his shoulder. He slowly tilted his head down, cheek pressing against the top of Kurt’s head as the wind picked up yet again. “Do you think she would of liked me?”
“I know she does.” Kurt whispered as the wind continued to roll through the cemetery. “Thank you, for coming out here and everything.”
“I told you I would always be there.” Blaine reminded him, not caring how long he had to sit and wait as long as Kurt was beside him. If this was important to the other then it was to him too, simple as that.
Kurt and Blaine sat there like that, both staring at the tombstone for what seemed like hours while they talked quietly. Mostly Kurt talked about his mother, and how she had struggled with lukemia the last few years of her life. Blaine had listened to his rambling without complaint, nodding along and asking simple questions like what she liked to do and what her favorite color had been. Finally Kurt pulled away from Blaine’s shoulder, offering a small smile when the other stretched out his legs. “Do you think I could have a few minutes to myself?” he asked hopefully, stomach fluttering when Blaine gave him another smile.
“Sure I’ll just wait in the car, take as long as you want.” Blaine said, standing up and patting Kurt’s shoulder before walking off towards the parking lot.
Kurt waited until he was sure Blaine was out of earshot before he began to whisper. “I really like him.” he began, pulling a few blades of grass from the ground nervously. “I think he likes me too, but I’m scared.” he admitted, smiling when the wind tousled his hair yet again. “Should I wait for him to say something, or maybe I should?” he sighed and shook his head before continuing. “I don’t know if I’m even ready though...how will I know?” he asked, wishing somehow he could receive a answer from thin air. “I haven’t even...well dad doesn’t even know about him, but what is there to know?” he mumbled, rubbing his forehead slightly. “It’s not like we are doing anything...I just don’t know what to do...”
He stood then, knowing he couldn’t keep Blaine waiting forever even though he had told him he would. “I promise I’ll try to come around more often, but dad is still keeping my car..” he explained, sparing one last look towards his mother’s name before turning away. As he walked he realized that coming here didn’t feel the way it used to, the wind may comfort him because of the way his mother had explained it to him but it couldn’t help him figure things out. Why did things have to be so complicated when it came to liking someone the way he did? Should he even have these feelings after everything that had happened, was he allowed to?
His phone scared him from his thoughts, his heart racing as he pulling the loud singing device from his pocket. He noticed Finn’s name and sighed before he answered it, not prepared for the loud jumbled sentences that the other shouted in his ear. “Finn...Finn calm down!” he said, relieved when the other boy finally lowered his voice.
“Dude where are you?” Finn asked, panic lacing his voice.
Kurt continued to walk towards the parking lot, lips quirking when he noticed Blaine sitting on the hood of his car instead of inside where the heater was located. “I’m with a Dalton friend, were coming home.” he explained, rolling his eyes when Finn began to tell him off for not telling him before he left.
“Well I hope Burt understands.”
Kurt paused mid step, his hand tightening around his phone. “Dad is home?” he asked worriedly.
“Yeah, he came to take you out to lunch.” Finn replied, a soft sigh leaving him afterwards.“He was really worried, but his phone was dead so he made me call.”
“Tell him I’m okay, and that I’ll be home soon okay?” he said, his pace quickening once his feet had hit pavement.
“Okay, he said he wants to meet your friend. I do too...which one is it?” Finn asked, having no way of knowing how worried Kurt looked at the moment. “It’s not the hobbit is it?”
“I’ve got to go, be home soon.” Kurt rushed out quickly before ending the call and shoving his phone back in his pocket. When he reached the parked car Blaine gave him a concerned look.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Blaine asked, sliding off the hood of his car and walking up to Kurt.
“My dad wants to meet you.” Kurt said quietly, watching Blaine’s face for his reaction.
Blaine blinked, slowly reaching up to run his hand through his curls as he thought. “He...Okay.” he said in a dazed voice, pulling his keys from his pocket. He honestly didn’t know why he was so worried, it wasn’t like he was dating the man’s son after all...at least not yet.
So why did it feel like he was driving to his own doom once they had finally left the cemetery parking lot?
Comments
YOUR. WRITING. IS. AMAZING. i love you. And that scene with nick and his parents omg you shouldve seen my face reading it O.O This story is SO good. SO GOOD. And DLJFDLDJJDLSJFSLJFKL kurt and Blaine at the graveyard omfg *MY CREYS* ;___; it couldnt have been more beautiful ommmgg ;___; my heart D': DON'T EVER STOP WRITING PLEASE