Aug. 17, 2012, 1:16 p.m.
Searching in the Dark: Not Anymore
E - Words: 3,824 - Last Updated: Aug 17, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Jun 29, 2012 - Updated: Aug 17, 2012 974 0 2 0 0
Soon enough, they were back at the home, Blaine leading a still very miserable Kurt back to their room.
"Hang on," Kurt sighed. "I need to get one of the care workers to sign my paper..." He headed down the corridor to their office, leaving Blaine in the room, and knocked on the door.
"I... I failed another paper," Kurt whispered, holding it out as they opened the door. The care worker looked at him and sighed.
"Kurt Hummel, you are hopeless." She signed it heartlessly. "I swear to God, you will get nowhere in life." She slammed the door closed. Kurt froze, his whole body shaking, tears running down his face. She'd just voiced everything he was terrified about. Blaine heard a door slam and ran out in the corridor.
"Kurt? Where are you?" he said loudly. He didn't know which way to go. Kurt followed Blaine's voice.
"H-Hi," he whispered. Blaine pulled Kurt into a hug for what felt like the millionth time that day.
"Shit, Kurt! What the hell happened?"
"S-She said I w-was hopeless," he whispered into Blaine's curls. "S-She s-s-said I'd n-never get anywhere in l-l-life."
"You know that's not true, Kurt. You're amazing..." Blaine hugged him tighter than ever. "You don't need her. All you need to do is listen to me, okay?" Kurt nodded sadly. They headed into their room, sitting down together on Blaine's bed. Blaine took Kurt's hand in his.
"I know we shouldn't be talking about something too serious right now, but I need you to know this. About earlier... I have inherited money. Lots of money. I can pretty much buy anything I want. My parents didn't take that away from me. They didn't want me as their son, but they let me keep the money. So I have lots. That's why I have such a nice car... And I could pay for your things, Kurt. A trained dog, special care, tuition for another school, anything. Anything you need to be happy, healthy and safe..."
"I... I want to go to Dalton," Kurt admitted, pulling the leaflets that he hid out from under his bed. They had regular type as well as Braille. "But I'm scared I'm too stupid..." Blaine smiled and rubbed small circles on Kurt's back.
"I could get you transferred. It would be great for you! And you're not stupid. You're anything but stupid, Kurt."
"Would... Would you maybe come with me? It's not just a school for the blind, it's a private school... And I am stupid, I fail almost every test but French...”
"I would love to come with you," Blaine grinned. "And no, you're not stupid. The teachers are stupid. It's like they're blind to the fact that you're blind. It's their fault, Kurt. Not yours."
"And could I..." Kurt blushed. "Could I maybe get a dog? I've always wanted a guide dog but the home won't get me one... We'd have to get their permission."
"Of course, honey. I'll talk to them tomorrow. Anything else?" Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek gently. Kurt shook his head.
"I already feel bad asking for that much..." Blaine shrugged.
"It's not like I'm using my money for something else. Why not spend it on something, someone. I actually care about? And we still have money for an apartment. We could actually start a life, Kurt! Our life." Blaine grinned broadly. Kurt smiled, too.
"I like the sound of that." There was a loud knock on the door.
"They want us all outside in the pool for exercise!" a kid yelled through. Kurt froze. He couldn't swim and Karofsky and Azimio always used it as an opportunity to bully him. Blaine thought quickly.
"Kurt's not feeling well, I think he's sick. I'm just going to stay here and look after him. Can you tell them?" he shouted through the door. The kid sounded nervous.
"They won't like it!" he shouted, running off. Kurt relaxed.
"Thank you." he whispered. "I can't swim. Karofsky and Azimio always dunk me under..."
"I thought so..." He looked at Kurt with sad eyes. "I'm so, so sorry, honey. For everything. You really don't deserve this. You're so much better."
"It's fine really." Kurt curled into Blaine's side. "But you realize now that you've said that I'm ill, neither of us can go down to dinner?"
"Crap..." Blaine said. "But- Oh! Hold on! I have some chips here somewhere and- aha! Here you are, chips a la Anderson." He handed Kurt the bag of chips. Kurt grinned.
"I'm not hungry." He handed the bag back to Blaine. "You eat them."
"Hey, you're too skinny to reject food. You need to eat. Please?" Kurt sighed, opening the bag. He took out a couple of chips and chewed them slowly.
"Happy?" He offered the bag to Blaine.
"No," said Blaine. "Kurt... Why won't you eat? Please tell me."
"It's nothing." Kurt smiled reassuringly. "It's just that I've gotten used to not really eating. Eating too much hurts now..."
"You have to slowly increase it," said Blaine. "Just- just a few more chips, okay? Then we'll save them for another day. You're practically just skin and bones, Kurt. You need food." Kurt nodded and continued eating for another couple of minutes. "Am I really that bad?" he asked quietly, feeling himself. When Kurt was finished, Blaine put away the bag.
"Yes, Kurt. You are. Here." He streched out his arm for Kurt to put a hand on and then he put Kurt's other hand on the younger boy's own arm to feel. "Do you feel the difference?"
"Oh..." Kurt whispered. "I never realized... It's hard when you can't see. Can you- You said you'd tell me what I look like…"
"Oh, of course! Lie down here, next to me and face me." Kurt did as he was told, closing his glazed over eyes, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks. Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek, wondering where to start.
"Well, the first thing you need to know is that you're beautiful. Every part of you, except the fact that you're unhealthily skinny, is amazing. Like your nose. It's not small, but not too big either. It's really cute and looks like sort of fun to kiss." Blaine placed a small kiss to the tip of Kurt' nose. Kurt giggled.
"You have to tell me the complete truth." He pouted. "No lying to me."
"I'd never lie to you," he said honestly. "If you want to ask someone else what you look like, do that, but this is exactly how I see you, okay?" Kurt nodded.
"Okay... Go ahead." He closed his eyes tighter, trying to picture everything Blaine said. The older boy continued.
"Your face structure is beautiful. It's a little bit pointy, but not much. You have the most gorgeous jaw. I don't even know why, it's just beautiful. Your neck is amazingly pale, long and creamy. It looks like it needs to be kissed. Your hair is adorable. It's light brown and currently in a mess. You usually manage to style it pretty well though and when you do, you look really hot and-" Blaine paused, realizing what he had just said.
"I look hot?" he chuckled. "Wow, that's a relief. I always just assumed it looked okay..." Blaine laughed.
"I think it looks hot. I think you’re hot. And this messed up bedroom style isn't too bad either." Blaine played with Kurt's hair playfully. Kurt smiled gently.
"Thanks. Keep describing me... Please? It's the first I've ever heard."
"Of course," said Blaine. "Your skin is absolutely flawless. It's like porcelain, it looks pale and fragile. It's gorgeous on you. Your lips are actually amazing. They are full, pink and really, really soft." Blaine's gaze wandered upwards to Kurt's eyes. "Your eyes are- I didn't think anyone blind could have such beautiful eyes, but you do. They are really blue and amazing. You have long eyelashes over them and then perfectly shaped eyebrows. I know you probably won't believe me, but you are the single most beautiful boy I have ever seen." Blaine finished with a small kiss to Kurt's lips. Kurt blushed and smiled, leaning forwards to kiss Blaine softly.
"What about the rest of me?" he asked. "What about my body?"
"The rest of your body is equally amazing. Like I said before, you're really skinny. Your shoulders are broad, but your arms are basically just skin and bones." Blaine kissed down Kurt's arms. "It scares me," he whispered. He sighed and continued. "Anyway, your chest is... Well, I've only seen it once, but it looked incredible that time. It's a little toned and beautifully pale. Underneath it, your ribs can be seen through your skin. And then there's your hips. They are kind of... I don't know... How the hell do you describe how hips look?" Blaine laughed. "Anyway... Then, uh, there's your ass." Blaine blushed. "It's round, looks very firm and it’s super hot. Sorry..." Blaine bit his lip.
"It's fine..." Kurt smiled. "I can imagine it... it's like a mirror. That's the good thing about being blind, you get an amazing imagination out of it. I'm sorry that I can't see you..." he whispered. "I want to tell you all the amazing things about you." The younger boy frowned and put his hand on Blaine's chest. "But I can tell you that you have a good heart. And that your voice is beautiful, it makes me feel safe." Blaine kissed him again.
"You can't apologize for that, baby. It's not your fault. And I'm glad my voice is nice," he chuckled. "Kurt, I know you... like, felt my face before, but you- you can do it again if you'd like to. You can do it anytime. I want you to have at least an idea of what I look like. I could describe it to you otherwise?"
"Could you... Could you describe it while I feel it? I can probably put the two together..."
"Of course." Blaine smiled, took one of Kurt's hands and put it on his face. "I don't have dark skin, but I'm slightly tanned. I have really curly hair, as you have noticed. It's usually drowned in an unhealthy amount of gel, but now... I don't really care anymore. My nose is kind of big, I guess. I have brown-golden eyes. My mom used to call them hazel eyes. I have really weird dark, triangular eyebrows. And then... I guess you can feel the rest of my body if you want to. There's not much more to describe that you can't feel yourself." Blaine guided Kurt's hand across his face as he spoke. It was all strangely intimate. It was crazy how comfortable Blaine was around Kurt already. He really loved him, and that scared him so much. Kurt ran his hand over Blaine's face, focusing on the plains of it. He stroke down his cheeks and paused for permission. At Blaine's nod, he felt softly down his chest.
"You're more muscled than me," he whispered self consciously. Blaine laughed softly.
"Well, I used to work out at the gym at least three times a week... Kurt, you can- you can go as low as you want to. You can see me everywhere if you want to. I just want you to know." Kurt nodded, blushing as his hand brushed Blaine's crotch. He felt over Blaine's strong legs and then curled up in his arms.
"You'll really ask about getting me a guide dog?" he asked softly.
"First thing I'm doing tomorrow morning. You deserve it, baby." Blaine paused. "Kurt, is it okay that I call you baby and honey and stuff? You don't seem to like it..." Kurt shook his head.
"No! I really like it!" he said desperately. "Don't stop... it makes me feel loved..."
"Okay, baby," Blaine smiled and kissed his forehead, pulling him closer. "I won't stop." Blaine suddenly flipped them over so that Kurt was on top of him. "It's our one day anniversary,” he chuckled. “Despite everything, it’s still the happiest day of my life." Kurt smiled, yawning slightly and trying to hide it.
"Mine too."
"Hey, don't fall asleep on me," Blaine laughed and poked Kurt in the side.
"S-Sorry," Kurt mumbled. "I'm just really sleepy." There was a loud knock on the door.
"The care workers want to see you both in their office,” the kid from before shouted. "They don't believe Hummel's ill!" Blaine sighed.
"We're coming," he said loudly, then he leaned down again and whispered to Kurt. "Okay, we can either lie to them and fake that you're ill or we can tell them the whole truth. In that case we could also tell them about the dog and Dalton. It's your choice, honey." He finished with a peck on Kurt's cheek.
"Let's just tell the truth," Kurt whispered. "They're going to be angry either way." Blaine nodded, then hesitated.
"The whole truth? You know... about us? I think we shouldn't. They might have us switch rooms..."
"Okay..." Kurt nodded slowly. "But everything else?"
"Yeah." Blaine kissed Kurt quickly. "Come on, let's go." Kurt pushed his way up and felt for his cane. Then they headed down the corridor to the offices. Blaine knocked on the door three times.
"You wanted to see us?" he said loudly through the door.
"Come in!" They stepped through the door and the lead care worker, the one who hated Kurt was sat at her desk. "You're looking remarkably well, Hummel," she stated, eyebrow raised.
"We lied," Blaine said calmly. "The other kids always bully Kurt when they go swimming. He can't even swim, for God's sake! And well, that's why we faked it. He could drown, you know. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to risk a human life." The woman rolled her eyes.
"He needs to learn. It's a valuable life skill. You're both on bathroom cleaning duty this weekend." She looked down as if the matter was closed.
"And you're even trying to teach him? Because of what he told me, it seems like you just ignore him all the time." Blaine took a deep breath. "I'm going to buy Kurt a guide dog. He needs it. And since you don't want to pay for it, I will. I will also pay his and my tuition to go to Dalton Academy. We transfer as soon as we can. And when I turn eighteen, in a few months, I'll buy my own apartment and Kurt will come live with me." There, it was out. He had told the whole truth. Well, almost. The woman shook her head.
"You're free to go to whatever school you wish, but if you think he's going to pass the entrance exam, then you have another thing coming, he's an idiot. Also I can't allow a dog in the home. Other children may be allergic."
"He's not an idiot. He's blind, but not an idiot. And well, if you can't allow a dog, then we can't stay here. Are there other homes in the area?"
"We're the only one that'd put up with him." She gestured to Kurt, whose shoulders were slumped. "He's managed this long without a dog, why does he suddenly need one?"
"Because he doesn’t manage! He never did!" Blaine finally yelled, losing control. "He's fucking blind and you're sitting here like it's his fault. Like he chose being blind. Like he fucking chose to be bullied every day of his damn life! You're acting like it's nothing! He has bruises over his whole body from falling over and from other guys who beats him up every. Single. Day. You know what? You're the one who's blind. You all are!"
"Blaine... Calm down..." Kurt whispered.
"No, Kurt. Not this time," Blaine whispered back and then turned to the care worker again.
"Hey can get the damn dog," the woman hissed. "But you two keep it under control. And I don't want to hear another word out of either of you. Are we understood?"
"Okay. But just know that we are out of here the day I turn eighteen." Blaine took Kurt's hand in his, then walked away angrily.
"Are you... Are you okay?" Kurt asked softly as they entered their room. Blaine waited for a moment, thinking about the question.
"No," he finally answered.
"What's wrong?" he whispered, pulling Blaine onto the bed next to him.
"It's just not okay. The way they're treating you, it's- I understand why you think that you're nothing when you grew up with them. It's not okay. You are beautiful and perfect, Kurt. They have no reason to treat you like crap. It's not okay. I can't stay calm about it." Blaine looked at Kurt with tears in his eyes, which the younger boy obviously couldn't see.
"But it's not going to change,” he whispered."So there isn't any point being angry. We only have to stick it out for a few more months." Blaine sighed, realizing he was right.
"I know." He pulled Kurt close and kissed his neck. "I'm sorry for screaming. I know it wasn't at you, but still... I'm sorry."
"It's fine... I... Thank you," he breathed, grinning, "I get a dog?" Blaine smiled, too.
"You're getting a dog. And tell you what? Your life will only get better from now on." He pulled Kurt down to lie on the bed and face him. "You'll get a dog, we will transfer to Dalton. Then we'll move out of here and I'll graduate. I'll get a job or go to college while you finish high school. You'll graduate and then we can do anything you want. We can move somewhere nicer if you want to. Or to another part of the country. Hell, even to another country if you want to. I have nothing here. And then we'll see if we're still together, but I think we will be. As crazy as it sounds, I have a good feeling about this. About us."
"Thank you. Thank you so much. I never thought I'd make anything of my life..."
"Kurt, it's nothing. I-" Blaine took a deep breath and said the words from last night again. "I love you. I really do. All my love is for you." Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt. He stayed there for a while, simply pressing gentle kisses to Kurt's soft lips. But then he decided to try something more. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he said and then ran his tongue along Kurt's bottom lip, deepening the kiss. Kurt shook his head.
"K-Keep going," he begged, opening his mouth to let Blaine in who slowly started exploring Kurt's mouth with his tongue. He put his hand on Kurt's neck to pull them even closer together then tangled their legs together and continued the kiss. Kurt whined into the kiss, his sense of touch was enhanced thanks to his loss of vision, it made it feel all the more amazing. Blaine pulled back slowly, their lips separating with a wet 'pop'.
"Wow..." he whispered. Kurt smiled.
"That was... amazing."
"Yeah, pretty much," Blaine chuckled. "We should do that more often... You're an amazing kisser."
"You are too,” he whispered and then everything went silent for a while. Blaine just held Kurt closer before the blind boy decided to ask, "When can we... When can we get my dog?"
"Soon," Blaine whispered back. "I'll make a few phone calls tomorrow." Kurt grinned.
"Thank you." He kissed Blaine again. "You make me so happy. I never thought I could be this happy!”
"Me neither, Kurt... Actually, you kind of- you saved my life." Blaine looked at his hands and swallowed to keep his tears from falling.
"W-What do you mean?" Kurt asked, panicking lightly, his breathing hitching. Blaine decided to just tell Kurt everything.
"I was going to do it. Kill myself, I mean. I planned on sneaking out my first night here and just taking an overdose of sleep drugs. I wanted the easy way out. I didn't want to live anymore. No one wanted me, no one cared. No one would even come to my funeral. I was going to do it. I had my mind set to it and nothing could get me off track. Then I met a beautiful boy who took my heart without even looking at me. And he changed my mind. I decided to give life a second chance. I'm so glad I did." Blaine cried silently, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"You... You..." Kurt was shaking. "I tried once," he whispered. "I was ten and some of the kids at school had been telling me that I should do it all day. So I snuck into the bathroom and got a razor. I slashed my wrists." He showed him faint scars, completely off centre. "Of course being ten I didn't know you had to cut down, not across, and being blind, I cut the wrong bit anyway. I didn't do any damage and I couldn't understand why." Blaine pulled Kurt in for a close hug and cried into his shoulder.
"I- I'm so glad we're here. Both of us. If I hadn't met you... I wouldn't be alive right now." Blaine sobbed violently. "I don't want to die, Kurt. I don't." Kurt rocked Blaine, rubbing his back gently.
"I don't want to either. Not anymore,” he breathed. "Promise me you'll never do it?" Blaine nodded.
"As long as you're in my life, I won't. I promise." He stayed quiet for a few moments and then whispered the obvious words. "We need each other."
“Completely." Kurt yawned, rubbing his eyes. "I'm tired... Do you mind if I sleep?"
"As long as you stay in my arms, sure. Go to sleep, sweetie." He kissed Kurt's cheek carefully. "I love you."
"I love you too, baby," Kurt whispered, feeling himself drift off to sleep. Blaine watched Kurt sleep in his arms. He was curled up against Blaine's chest and he was snoring lightly. Blaine was a little scared. How could he possibly feel this strong for another boy after only one day? At the same time, why not? Kurt was his soul mate, he was sure of it. He pulled Kurt closer and then slowly faded into sleep.
Comments
i really like this story, i know people said it was moving to fast but i kind of like that its almost refreshing to not have to wait 16 chapters into a story.
First of all I love that there relationship started moving fast because they needed someone and it so happened to be each other and I love it. Second you are making me sit here and bawl like seriously this story is breaking my heart and I have to stop to wash my face cause I keep crying and the almost killing themselves :( (cried harder, maybe I'm just a big crybaby when it comes to klaine) but it's a great story. I was sooo hoping Blaine would pay Kurt's tuition to Dalton and yayy it's happening. That lady that talks to Kurt like that is a fucking bitch! Nothing is gonna come between them right? Please let them move out of there soon.