Monday December 14th2020

As days turn into weeks and November turns into December, the days become colder and New York is decorated for Christmas, red and green lights cover trees and street lamps, everyone is filled with joy. Everyone except Kurt Hummel-Anderson, Kurt was existing, he was truly trying. He got up in the morning, threw up, would get dressed, grab the mail and if there wasn't a letter from Blaine he might manage to get out the door and try to find auditions. He would usually end up meeting up with Rachel, who would do her best to make him laugh, smile, or even just have a conversation. She was never very successful. He'd go home, he'd write a letter to Blaine, maybe eat dinner then sleep. Every day, nothing changed.

When Kurt wakes up on December 14th he begins his day like he usually does, but when he has finished throwing up and walks into the kitchen he realizes it had been a month since Blaine had left, a month of throwing up, a month of simply existing and he decides that enough is enough, it is time to pull his life together. Kurt makes an appointment with his GP for the next day and then he calls Rachel.

"Kurt?"Rachel asks sceptically"Is something wrong?"She asks.Wow,Kurt thinksI must have been bad if my best friend is shocked I'm calling her.

"Nothing is wrong Rach." He says a cheerfully as he can "Just wanted to see if you wanted to go Christmas shopping, I'm way behind."

"Um... sure, I mean I finished last week but I'll totally go with you."Rachel says

"Great, I'll swing by with a cab in fifteen minutes and we'll head to Fifth Avenue." He says.

"cool... I'll see you then."Rachel says and she hangs up.

Kurt presses the end call button. He takes a deep breath,he can do this.

A few hours later Rachel and Kurt are browsing shops, sipping coffees and Kurt is trying his best not to think about Blaine.

"Kurt maybe Carole would like this." Rachel said holding up a lovely scarf, despite Finn's tragic passing, the Berrys and the Hudson-Hummels remain close.

"Oh that's fabulous Rachel, you are totally right, your fashion sense has improved sooo much since high school." He says with a small smile. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"My fashion sense was fantastic, you just didn't appreciate it." Rachel says and Kurt scoffs.

"Sure Rachel." He says with an eye roll, she picks a purse from the shelf and hits him. He play screams "Hey!" the two friends burst out laughing. After a few moments Kurt voices a realization. "It feels good to laugh Rachel." He says with a sad smile. She gives him a one armed hug.

"Come on, we have lots of shopping to do."

Blaine POV

Blaine's first month of training is finally over, muscle soreness has lessened and the hole in his chest, has begun to hurt a little less, or rather, he's learned to live with it. Eli is still making his life a living hell, but Blaine knows that if he doesn't do anything punishable, Eli can't do anything to him. December 14th he wakes up at 5:00 like every day to the sound of a bugle. It has been one month of hell, he is so glad it is over. He writes to Kurt whenever he got the chance, sometimes he writes to his father, but he never gets a letter back, if he gets one letter from his father telling him he was proud, it would be worth it, but it doesn't look like that would happen. Blaine knows Christmas is fast approaching, but nothing changes in the camp, the days trudge on as usual.

Blaine goes to shave and brush his teeth before lining up for callisthenics and a ten mile run. He has breakfast, thinks of Kurt's famous pancakes, goes to training, has lunch, thinks of meeting Kurt in their usual café, goes for more training, has dinner and thinks of coming home to Kurt after a long day, making dinner together and telling him about his day. Kurt is always on his mind, in a way he's luckier than Kurt, his tight schedule keeps him busy, doesn't let him collapse in on himself, he survives.

Tuesday December 15th2020 Kurt POV

The clock ticks on the wall, it grinds on Kurt's nerves. He sits in the sterile room, he hates hospitals.

"Kurt Hummel-Anderson" A nurse calls, Kurt looks up, forces a small smile.

"That's me." He says.

"The doctor will see you now, follow me."

Kurt follows the nurse down a hallway and into a small room.

"He'll be in, in just a minute." She says and Kurt nods.

He looks around the room, he sees sharp objects, clamp things, diagrams of things he'd rather not know. The room smells like disinfectant, he gags.Oh shit.He looked around frantically before spotting a trash bin. He lurches over and empties his stomach into the bin. Tears stream down his face.Why can't this be over, why can't he just be better?The doctor walks in, takes one look at Kurt's position, and leaves briefly retuning with a small cardboard bowl like thing and a new trash bin. Kurt takes the bowl thankfully and props himself back up on the examination table.

"So I see you've been experiencing unexplained vomiting for about a month now." The doctor says and Kurt nods.

"Any other symptoms?" the doctor says and Kurt shakes his head. "Well we'll take a blood sample and do an ultrasound of your stomach to see if anything is going on." The doctor walks over to a cupboard and pulls out a long needle with a tube and a small vile attached. Kurt blanches, he hates needles, a few more tears slide down his face,He really wishes Blaine was here.The doctor sterilizes the needle.

"Hold out your arm for me."

Kurt does as he's told squeezing his eyes closed; he imagines Blaine's hand in his, Blaine rubbing his back, whispering in his ear that it's going to be okay. He feels a pinch and a burn but it isn't bad.

"Okay all done." The doctor says. "A technician will be in with the ultrasound in a few minutes and the lab results will be back tomorrow. Have a nice day Mr. Hummel-Anderson."

Kurt sits in the sterile room his thoughts wandering to a few questions,what was wrong with him? What was Blaine doing? How would he deal with something serious without Blaine?The technician walks in. She smiles warmly.

"Hi there Mr. Hummel-Anderson, I'm Patricia." She says holding out her hand, Kurt shakes it weakly.

"Call me Kurt" he says

"Kurt," she says with a nod "lift your shirt so I can get started." Kurt does as he's told. "This will be cold." She warns before squirting an ice cold substance on Kurt's stomach. Kurt jumps letting out a small, unmanly squeak and blushes heavily. Patricia giggles. "Don't worry about it, almost everyone does that to some extent." Kurt smiles a bit. Patricia moves the sonogram device over Kurt's stomach, she pauses on his lower abdomen, her eyebrows knit together. "What the..." she mutters. Kurt begins to panic, something is wrong with him, he's obviously dying. "I'm just going to call the doctor back in here to look at this." She says still quite confused she leaves the room quickly. Kurt begins breathing heavily, his hands sweat, his heart pounds.Something is wrong! I'm dying, maybe I'll get to see Blaine before I go...

The doctor comes back in with a curious look on his face. He grabs the device positioning it back on Kurt's abdomen. Kurt stares at him with wide eyes. "You were right Patricia." He says and Patricia looks mildly shocked.

"H-how?" she stammers out.

"I'll explain later, give us some privacy." The doctor says and Patricia nods, she walks quickly out the door. The doctor turns to Kurt. "Mr. Hummel-Anderson, I'm about to tell you some shocking new that will not seem possible but I assure you it is." He says.

"Am I dying?" Kurt blurts out.

The doctor chuckles lightly "No Kurt. You're, well you see, you're pregnant."