Kurt Hummel is easily irritated by many things, but few things irritate him more than one Blaine Anderson. 

Why?

Blaine, in any other universe, would have been considered a colossal nerd. He was in the most challenging classes for his grade level, was a member of glee club, and wore bow ties, glasses, and even suspenders. In any other universe, that and his being gay would have guaranteed incessant bullying at William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio. According to the school's typical unspoken code of social conduct, Blaine should be getting tossed in dumpsters, shoved into lockers, and receiving daily slushie facials.

He wasn't, though.

Why?

Because Blaine Anderson was so fucking helpful and nice and charming and adorable that no one had the heart to pick on him. Well, that isn't entirely true. Some would have had no qualms about picking on him, but wouldn't because all the girls had practically adopted him as their pet puppy and wouldn't hesitate to destroy anyone who dared to even consider making him unhappy.

Now, he was accepted by everyone. He was a good listener and was fun to talk to and even bonded with the guys over football. He was closest to those in glee club, but got along with everyone pretty well. Sue and Santana still made snide comments in their typical form, but it was more playful than aggressive. Some of the guys were still a bit reluctant and wary of him, but even they begrudgingly accepted him. For the most part, McKinley was good to Blaine.

Frankly, it pissed Kurt off.

Why?

Because it wasn’t fair.

Kurt had been tormented relentlessly upon his arrival to McKinley. It had taken a lot for him to be accepted as he was now. He had risen from the bottom of the food chain to the top only after an incredible amount of hard work. He traded his image of “Super Gay” for another one entirely: that of badass cheerleader.

Yes, Kurt had risen to the top of the McKinley High social ladder by becoming a badass cheerleader. Yes, it sounds funny, but it worked for him.

Kurt began his climb up the social ladder by becoming a Cheerio. He saw that the Cheerios were well-respected and that being able to count himself among their ranks would offer social protection and prestige. He knew he had the talent, and was able to convince Sue to let him audition. She had been reluctant, but after witnessing his audition piece had said “Well, Gay Kid, that was surprisingly adequate. I thought you would go up there and embarrass yourself, which would have brightened my day, but this could be interesting. You’re a Cheerio now, Porcelain. Congratulations. You realize, of course, that I own you.” As a Cheerio, fewer people messed with him and life got better. He had also befriended the Unholy Trinity—well, mostly Britt and Santana. Quinn, too, but not as much—which had hastened his climb considerably.

The badass image was, admittedly, a bit of an accident. Mr. Schue’s latest assignment for glee had been to perform a number that was completely different from the kind of number you would normally do, so it seemed fitting. He came to school in his badboy outfit to get into character, and ran into Karofsky in the hall as usual. Something about the character he embodied, though, made a rush of adrenaline surge through his body and without a second thought, he slapped Karofsky across the face and told him off in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone.

The whole experience left him feeling strangely empowered. Since the Karofsky confrontation, there had been a shift in the attitude of the entire student population of McKinley. He was feared, respected, and, most importantly, left alone. The bullying to which he had become so accustomed had suddenly ceased. Now, the worst he got was the occasional glare, which disappeared when he met it with his menacing bitch-face.

Life was so much easier after that. He put aside his fabulous designer wardrobe in favor of a Cheerios uniform and, when he wasn’t in that, he could be found in dark, skin-tight jeans, a V-neck t-shirt, a leather jacket, and Doc Martens. Sometimes he’d wear a leather jacket over his Cheerios uniform. 

The thing that brought Kurt to the pinnacle of the McKinley social pyramid, though, was becoming head cheerleader. He worked his ass off learning and rigorously rehearsing acrobatics and routine after routine for the Cheerios and dealing with all Sue Sylvester’s many types of crazy until he earned the title of head cheerleader and the role of lead soloist and performer in almost every single Cheerios number. This secured his place in the social structure of McKinley as well as giving him an opportunity to showcase his talents. He wasn’t appreciated enough in glee club, so he quit. 

As long as he continued to dedicate his life to the Cheerios and maintain his badass badboy image, Kurt was safe. 

Blaine, though, didn’t have to do a damn thing. Kurt felt as if he must be green as Elphaba with envy.

Why did he have to try so hard when all Blaine had to do was duck his head, flash his adorable smile, and push up his glasses? 

Why did Kurt have to pay his way to the top with blood, sweat, and tears while Blaine flew to the top on the back of a winged unicorn with a stupid grin whilst spewing rainbow glitter and sprinkling the world with sugar? 

Why did everyone like Blaine so much?

Most importantly, why did he like Blaine, too?