It was difficult. It had always been difficult for me to see. I thought I would have gotten used to it, but it turned out to be horrible than what I imagined it to be and once upon a time, I could have seen it.
They all tried to make it easy, to make things less complicated for me but in reality, to be honest, they just felt guilty about my conditions. It was my best friends fault that, two months before, I had had that car accident. I ended up in the hospital with a total damage on my eyes and I wouldn't be able to see anymore. Ever.

My parents decided that it would have been much better if I changed schools, so they brought me to a specialized one for the blind, where I would follow special classes and learn how to read Braille. The thing that mattered the most to me was to learn how to read music and to play the guitar, because I had no intention to let my passion for music go. My voice wasn’t damaged, I knew could do it.

I was happy and sad at the same time, thinking about leaving what had been my reality my whole life, and even if hurt me deeply to admit it, I wasn’t part of it anymore. I couldn’t live in a world where all my friends talked about pretty girls which I wasn’t interested in and now I’d could only imagine.

I was sitting in the car, on the back seat, while my parents drove silently to the Doge College with the radio at a really low volume. I couldn’t see the road or look at the sky and wonder if it would rain. I had become half a man and I felt like I had disappointed someone with that sudden change. The fact that I was gay had already shaken the familiar balance and now they really could say that I was retarded. It was painful, I hated that. The problem was that I believed it. I didn’t feel like everyone else.

"We are almost there, dear." my mother squeaked with that worried tone she usually used when she was talking to me. Did she feel guilty? As if my condition was her fault.

I heard the car sliding on a noisy dirty road and I imagined it was in the open countryside, surrounded by fruit trees, in a sort of happy island.
Why wasn’t I able to see all this?

The car slipped and someone switched off the radio. My father coughed and shut off the car.
"Are we there?" I asked.
"Yep." my mother answered in a breath. It was frustrating to hear that she was holding back the tears, painful and frustrating.

Someone, my father probably, opened the car trunk to take my things, my mother got out of the car and came to open my door. They were both so kind and sad that, just for this time, I decided not to point out how much I hated to see that suddenly they were pampering me. I felt my mother’s hand taking mine, dragging me out of the car to the entrance door. We went through what might have been the courtyard, because I heard the voices of some guys cutting the bushes and a strange, loud melody in the distance. That was until someone ran into my father, who was dragging my luggage. I heard a thud and then a mortified apologizing murmur, followed by irregular steps that drifted away.

My mother’s hand held mine tighter. Dad knocked, strongly, and the sound echoed beyond the door that, a few seconds later, someone opened. It didn’t creak while it was opening, I just heard the lock fluid click.
"Mr. and Mrs. Anderson?" a feminine, helpful, know-it-all voice asked.
"Yes, exactly." my father answered after a moment of hesitation. "We’re here for our son Blaine…" he started, but I stopped him.
"I still know how to talk, Dad." I blurted, more acidly than I wanted to sound.
"Of course you can." said the voice, agreeing with me. A hand i didn’t know took my wrist, walking quickly inside, bringing me blindly through a corridor. I heard the noise of my mother’s heels behind my back and someone saying to my father to give him my luggage and that I would find it in my room.
My new life was about to begin and I already felt terribly and obnoxiousness alone. That sensation was so sudden and painful that I had to bite my lips, to keep from crying.
"Be careful of the steps." the know-it-all voice warned me. We walked down some steps, covered by soft carpets, on which I almost stumbled. I wasn’t used to walking that fast, I was losing my sense of direction.
I was getting hotter, at the point, so much so, that I could have taken off my coat.

We entered a room, suddenly stopped, and she let go of my wrist.
"So, welcome to 'Andrew Doge’s College of the Blind.' I’m Janet and I deal with paperwork and acceptance. Now I will assign to you a tutor, who is one of the best students of the school. Obviously he’s from your same year. His job is to help you get oriented. Trust him and listen to him, okay? It’s the best way to integrate here." then, without waiting for an answer, she turned to my parents. "It’s time for hugs and kisses! See you on Halloween."

My mother held me tight, without stopping her sobs, while my father put a hand on my shoulder. "It’s all going to be okay." I told them, making a fake smile. They should have told me that, but I know they wouldn’t have said it. She had cried for a long time but, thank God she stopped. While they were leaving the room, my parents closed the door, leaving me alone with Janet in a place that I didn’t even know and that I couldn’t see. It was like being suspended on nothing, leaving nothing surrounding me.

" From what I see your tutor is going to be Kurt Hummel." the voice of the girl now came from a place under my head, I guessed we might have been in a sort of office and that she might have been sitting.
"What will he make me do?" I asked, feeling incredibly stupid and incompetent, as I quickly realized that I was not at the same level as any of the boys.
"It depends. He will organize what you’ll need. His file shows that he has excellent grades, for God’s sake!" I heard the rustle of the sheets of paper Janet was reading. The click of the lock made me instinctively turn around, even though I couldn’t see who had entered anyway.

"Oh, you must be Kurt. We were just talking about you!" Janet said excitedly and I heard her stand up, probably to bring me nearer the person who had just come in.
"I can do it by myself, I swear." I told her, keeping my hands in front of me trying to go to where I heard the door opening. Gropingly I found a hand that leaned to my chest. Suddenly I felt two hands quickly touching my face, dwelling on my rebellious curly hair and my long eyelashes. He passed two fingers on my lips and all along my neck, to lean on my shoulders in the end.

"Pleasure: I’m Kurt. But I guess you already know that." said the person in front of me in a high pitch voice, so strange that I found it hard to identify.
"I thought you were a boy." I exclaimed, not thinking about how offensive it could sound.
A sort of laugh shook the body in front of me.
"Actually, I am a boy." he answered.

I blushed. Now I sounded even worse. I had to have made a terrible first impression. I always thought i was good at this kind of thing, I guess not.
"I... I’m mortified. I really am."
He laughed again.
"I forgive you, just because everyone does that the first time." he answered.

Janet coughed.

"I leave you to your orientation. I’ve got things to check in the archive. Kurt, you know what to do, don’t you?" she asked. The sound of her heels came near to us, and then it went further and went out of the door. Turning my face I involuntarily hit Kurt’s chest and I realized he was nearer than I thought. Maybe for a blind person having people so close was normal.
"Sure." he answered, more to himself than to Janet who was already gone. Kurt closed the door and then put a hand on my back, pushing me to the center of the office.