19th of March

So yesterday I talked about Blaine a little. (Or wrote...)

And I figured that you, whoever ‘you’ are, might wonder about it all. (God this feels so stupid. I’m ‘talking’ to a freaking book...)

But yeah. Here goes nothing.

Blaine was my boyfriend throughout out junior year. The relationship we got to share throughout that year is the best thing that have ever happened to me.

I broke things off with him last summer, just as we’d finished in school, because I could feel how much worse I was getting for every passing second.

It was painful, to say the least. It still hits me sometimes, when I think of all the horrible things I said to him that day.

I lied to him.

Told him that I didn’t feel ‘that way’ anymore. It hurt so bad and it only made things worse when he cried and thought it was his fault.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to him.

I’ll never be able to forget the look on his face when I told him there was nothing he could do.

I miss him. I really do. And I was so sure that he’d forgot about me now when we hadn’t even spoken to each other at all since August.

But he still remembers me.

And he miss seeing me every day, like he did before my life went to hell.