The next day, Kurt woke up by the sound of an alarm clock. For a moment he was very confused, as he hadn’t used his barely-functioning alarm clock in ages. The sleepy groan from beside him led him back to the right track.

  Blaine slammed the snooze button irritably, muttering how it always rang when he least wanted it to. He turned to lie on his back, rubbed his face with his hands, before stretching his arms over his head, making very unattractive noises that couldn’t be stopped. 

He jumped when he turned around to face the left side of the bed; there was someone in his bed with him. It took him only the fraction of a second to remember who it was.

  “Time to wake up, sleepy head,”

  “Leave me alone,” Kurt just muttered, putting the pillow he’d been loaned over his head to cover out the noise of Blaine’s voice. “’M sleeping,”

  Blaine rolled his eyes goodheartedly, sat up, ran a hand through his hair, and climbed out of bed. He stretched again, trying to reach the ceiling but being too short –as always. 

   Once Blaine closed the door to his bedroom behind him, Kurt removed the pillow from his face, as it was really uncomfortable to breathe under there. He was just about to try and go back to sleep when he heard a shower getting turned on, followed by the faint, melodic sound of water hitting the floor. He opened his eyes and sat up.

  “You fucking tease,” he muttered as he, too, got out of bed and stretched. As he rubbed the sleep out of his tired eyes, he let himself appreciate the feeling of a rested body and a warm room. He’d really missed that. 

He shuffled across the room and to the bathroom door, which was just on the other side of the little ‘corridor’, in front of Blaine’s room. The door was unlocked, so Kurt stepped inside. 

  “Join me?” Blaine asked, looking over his shoulder, back turned to him.

  Kurt laughed silently to himself. “You want us to take a shower together?”

   “’S just an idea,” Blaine answered, turning around. “you know, to save water?”

   “Right,” Kurt nodded, a smile in his eyes. 

  He wanted to say no, just to get back at Blaine for what he’d made him go through yesterday, but the offer was way too tempting to turn down. So, he walked across the room, making sure to go slowly, his eyes fixed at Blaine, his mind racing. 

  Kurt was determined to make it through at least today as well without freaking out. He wanted to let himself just be, because now when he’d finally let himself, it reminded him how wonderful it was; and it was way too wonderful to give up. 

  Opening the shower door, Kurt stepped in under the hot water without removing the loaned t-shirt he was wearing, nor his underwear. Blaine gave him a disapproving look.

  “’M feeling exposed now,” he said, pretending to become shy. Kurt just hummed, the side of his mouth turned upwards, creating the smallest of half smirks. 

  “It’s school today, ya’ know,” Blaine said quietly as Kurt stepped closer to him, backing him up against the wall.

  “Fuck school,” Kurt just replied, a purr in his voice. 

  If it was the feeling of the cold wall against his bare back, or if it was the feeling of Kurt’s skin in his, that sent a shiver through his body, he didn’t know; and with Kurt’s lips on his, he really couldn’t find it in him to care. 

“Well, well, well, look who decided to come out of his cave,” Santana smirked as Kurt approached the usual hang-out of the ‘Skanks’. When she saw Blaine behind him, her smirk grew wider.

  “You guys finally did the crime?” she asked them.

  Blaine walked up to stand in front of Kurt, and for a moment he felt nervous as to what his reply would be. Because, with what Kurt had been going through these last hours, he had still to find out if and in that case what had changed with Blaine. 

  “It’s good to see you too, Santana.” Blaine smiled sweetly. “How’s Brittany doing?” Kurt snorted with laughter behind him as Santana’s look went from superior and bitchy to dark and ‘shut-the-fuck-up’, with a glint of shame in her eyes. Not responding, she walked over to lean against one of the supporters holding the up bleachers above their heads.

  Exchanging a look, the two boys parted. Kurt immediately walked over to talk to Quinn, and Blaine, after a moment of hesitation, went over to Santana. 

  “You kind enough to loan me one of those?” Blaine asked, gesturing at the pack of cigarettes in her hand. Santana put her lighter away and inhaled deeply, dragging the smoke deep into her lungs. As she held it there, she looked at Blaine all over, her eyes shining with curiosity. It was probably that curiosity that made her hand Blaine the pack and her lighter.

  “Thanks,” Blaine said out of the corner of his mouth, a cigarette dangling from his other. He watched Santana eyeing him carefully as he lit it. 

  “What’s your problem?” he said, his voice sounding awkward as he held the poisonous smoke in his body.

  “How was he?” 

  Pulling off his best Oblivious face, he said, . “What’re’you talking about?”

  Santana rolled her eyes at him. “You know what I’m talking about.”

  Blaine shrugged, moved his bodyweight to his right leg and exhaled, very deliberately aiming at the Latina’s face. She shot him a dark look as she avoided the gray little cloud. 

  “It’s all over both of you, ya’ know,” she told him matter-of-factly and Blaine made an irritated sound.

  “We haven’t fucked,” he told her.

  “But…?” her eyes gleamed brighter than ever as she unconsciously moved her head closer to Blaine.

  “But there was… other stuff,” he admitted

  “Details,” she demanded, victory radiating almost visibly from her body.

  Blaine just shook his head, a sweet, superior smirk on his lips. He wasn’t going to tell her anything. Not yet, anyway. 

    Over by one of the bench-and-table sort of things, Quinn was eyeing Kurt, curiosity shining in her blue eyes.

  “So you talked to him then?” she said when Kurt looked at her questioningly.

  Kurt nodded hesitantly.

  “Hm,” she said, nodding once. “Didn’t expect you to actually take my advice.”

  “Me neither,” Kurt admitted.

  “So,” She looked at him, expecting him to know the question before it was asked. “What happened?” she said when he didn’t.

  “It, ehm,” Something swept across his face. Quinn tilted her head to the side.

  “What?” she urged when he remained silent.

  “I…” He smiled the smallest of smile, the look in his eyes telling her that he was somewhere else. But, there was a new kind of shine to them that made her feel calm that that other place wasn’t too horrible.

  “I really…” He sighed, searching for the right words. “I really like him, Quinn.”

  Quinn’s stomach turned with happiness. She couldn’t help but smile at him. Finally. 

  “But,” he carried on then. Her smile fell a little. “It’s… so hard,” His voice was thin, quivering with emotion in a way Quinn hadn’t heard before. “it’s so hard not listening to them…” He made a fain gesture at his head.  “It’s so hard to keep myself from pushing him away; so hard to stop myself from running away again.”

  Without thinking, Quinn reached out her hands and grabbed on to Kurt’s. To both his and her’s surprise, he didn’t pull away.

  “Does he know about this? About your… struggle?”

  Kurt shook his head. “Not really. I mean…–No, no he doesn’t.”

  “Then tell him.” she said, searching Kurt’s eyes.

  Kurt groaned. “All we do is talk,” Then, after a moment of silence, “How?”

  Quinn shrugged. “Think of a way.” then, “Sing to him?” she asked.

  Kurt snorted, just as Quinn had thought he would. “I’m not singing to him.” he said.

  Quinn shrugged again. “It’s what you used to do.”

 “I know,” he sighed. “But I haven’t felt like it lately. My guitar feels sort of… Last time I held it it felt wrong.” It sounded like the words where hard for him to say. “What do you think that means?”

  “Doesn’t have to mean anything.” Quinn said. She looked over at Blaine where he stood smoking with Santana. She noticed how he kept looking over at Kurt out of the corner of his eye ever few second. He really seemed to like Kurt too. That made her happy.

  Looking back at Kurt again, she told him, “Go over to him, tell him you guys need to talk, then just… see what happens.”

  Kurt shook his head. “No.” he said. “No, not while she’s there.”

  “Okay?” Quinn frowned. That was a definite first. 

  “No…” he said then, the tone of his voice totally different than before. “I gotta go.” he said, backing away. The look he gave her made her uneasy. 

  “Where’re you goin’?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, his eyes darting around in a phase that told her that he was on the verge of getting a panic attack. “Just –away from here.”

  “You want company?” she asked, knowing he didn’t, but she didn’t see him much anymore, and that made her feel… worried, almost, now when he was getting like this. Maybe it was just her Mother Hormones kicking in or something, if that was even a thing.

  “Okay.” She nodded. “Go,”

  Before he turned and went, he smiled tensely but thankfully at her. She nodded once, ‘no problem’. 

When it was time for class again, Blaine noticed that Kurt was very much missing.

  “Where’s he gone?” he asked Quinn. The girl shrugged, but as he turned to walk away, to class or to find Kurt he hadn’t decided, she stepped forward and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He looked around at her, and once again he got reminded how short he was.

  “I think he’d like to talk to you,” she said shortly, not really meeting his eyes.

  “You know where he’s gone?” he asked again.

  “No,” She seemed to be telling the truth. 

  Blaine only nodded once to show his appreciation for telling him, then left and walked quickly towards the school. 

   By the time he found him, the corridors were empty of both students and teachers. He’d looked everywhere he could think of; all the bathrooms he knew existed, all the empty and unlocked classrooms (which were very few), outside, in Kurt’s car, the library with the ancient woman with the strain stare, the principal’s office, the locker-room… Everywhere. The very clean looking school guidance councilor eyed him curiously as he walked past her office again and again.

  Near the end of his search, Blaine passed a classroom he’d never really noticed before. Inside, he saw through the round window in the door, sat a small group of very bored looking teenagers, or, everyone looked bored except for one. The girl had brown hair that reached just below her shoulders, her bangs were very straight and her face looked rather clear of make-up. She wore a sweater that looked… horrible, a plaid skirt, and white socks that went up almost to her knees. Her smile was wide and enthusiastic. Blaine recognized her as Rachel Berry, a girl that was even shorter than Blaine was, which pleased him. Rachel’s relationship with the quarterback of the school’s horrible football team, Finn Hudson, was well known throughout the school. Not only because Finn was super tall and Rachel super short, but because they somehow managed to break up and get back together at least three times a week. At least Blaine didn’t have to worry about his and Kurt’s relationship being complicated anymore.

  He walked away from the door quickly, as two people he didn’t know the names of got up to sing. That was something he could do perfectly without hearing, thank you very much.

  Blaine found Kurt in the auditorium. Blaine had never been there before, had just about completely forgotten it even existed. There were a couple of lamps turned on, but not enough to illuminate the auditorium completely. He could barely make out the contours of someone sitting just by the edge of the stage, legs pulled up to its stomach, arms wrapped around them. He was sure it was Kurt, but didn’t call out; didn’t want him to know he was there until he was more sure of the situation; maybe he should leave him alone for a couple of more minutes. Instead he slowly made his way down the stairs (which steps were these weird, long and very kind of thin things). He stopped as he got close enough to the stage to make out the situation a little better. Kurt’s breathing seemed almost normal, and as far as Blaine could hear, he wasn’t talking to anyone, as he’d heard he sometimes did when not feeling too well. 

  “Kurt?” he called, deciding that it couldn’t hurt.

  Kurt’s head shot up to look for who’d called him faster than Blaine knew was physically possible. His eyes searched the empty auditorium for a moment before finding Blaine.

  “Hi,” Kurt greeted quietly, seeming relieved it was him and not someone else.

  “Hi,” Blaine echoed. “What happened, I mean –why did you leave?” 

  “I just, uh,” He rubbed his face against his knees, straightened up and looked over at Blaine again. “I just… I needed to get away for a while… Or something,” 

  Blaine nodded. He walked the final way to the stage. “You wanna tell me why?” he asked, looking up at Kurt, standing just below where he was sitting.

  Kurt remained silent for a while, thinking, deciding. “Yeah, I think that’d be best.”

  Blaine nodded again and hoisted himself up on the stage to sit next to Kurt. When he looked over at him, waiting for an answer, Kurt just kept his silence. Then he chuckled, a little sadly, to himself.

  “I’m so pathetic,” he said, stretching out his legs to swing them over the edge of the black stage. He kicked the wall of it softly.

  Blaine didn’t say ‘you’re not’; he knew that that wasn’t what this was about.

  “Why do you think so?” he asked instead.

  “Because of this,” he said and pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie, reviling his scarred arm. Blaine tried to keep the hurt he was feeling on the inside from showing, but couldn’t help his breath from sticking in his throat. He’d seen the scares a couple of times before, since he’d seen him naked, but it was something about Kurt actually showing him that made it a bit more… real.

  The silence was heavy. Blaine didn’t find anything to say.

  “And because I let my stupid fucking mind get to me all the time.” Kurt said, breaking the silence.

  “That’s not pathetic, Kurt,” Blaine couldn’t help but say.

  “But it his,” he told him. “because right now it’s telling me to push you away.” And then he looked right at him. “I don’t know what to do.” he said weakly. Blaine felt something inside him aching. He wanted to hug him, wanted to say something to make it all better… But he knew he couldn’t do that. Now wasn’t the time, and nothing he said would make Kurt better. Not really, anyway; his scars ran too deep for that to be possible. Yet, that wouldn’t stop him from trying.

  “What do you want to do about it?” he asked, finding himself not really wanting an answer, as he didn’t want it to be negative.

  “I don’t know,” Kurt said helplessly. “I mean –I don’t want to listen to it. Not right now.”

  Blaine relaxed a little. Maybe their time wouldn’t have to end before it had started. 

  “I like myself better when I’m with you,” Kurt said quietly. “You make things feel okay whenever you’re close.”

  Blaine’s hear made a little leap. “You too,” he said, a fain smile on his lips.

  “But,” said Kurt again. “This is harder than I thought,”

  “What is?”

  “I told you,” Kurt said, but the faint tone of annoyance wasn’t really real. “this is.”

  Blaine nodded, but apparently Kurt wasn’t done yet. 

  “We are harder than I thought,” he continue. Blaine forced the little laugh back down his throat. Kurt seemed to see it, or hear it, and rolled his eyes, bumping his shoulder against his. 

  “Way to spoil the moment, asshole,” he said with a little smile.

  “Sorry,” Blaine said and let the quiet that followed last for a while. Kurt had let his head rest against Blaine’s shoulder when he’d bumped into him. Blaine resisted against the want to kiss his hair and put an arm around his waist. 

  “How can you even like me?” Kurt said quietly after a ling while, head still resting on Blaine’s shoulder comfortably.

  Blaine didn’t know how to answer that. He stayed silent, mind racing to find a good and assuring reply. 

  “I mean,” Kurt continued, “It’s not like I’m anything special. –You’d probably find a more interesting guy on Scandals if you’d bother getting to know them. He’d probably treat you way better than I do too–”

  Blaine cut him off. “You’re one of the most special and interesting people I’ve met.” he blurted out. 

  “Please don’t tell me I’m on in a million,” he joked, but Blaine’s words had undeniably spread a comfortable warmth in his chest.

  “You’re definitely one in a million.” Blaine said, half teasing, half serious.

  There was a short silence.

  “Well,” said Kurt then. “If I’m one in a million, then there’re, like, eight thousand others out there just like me. Why don’t you go find one of them instead?”

  Blaine groaned. “Would you stop?” he said. Kurt lifted his head from his shoulder, looking at him, wondering what the change of tone was about. He’d just told him the truth, that wasn’t anything to get upset about, was it?

  “I don’t want some stranger,” Blaine said. “I want you, and I don’t care what you think. You’re worth every bit of appreciation and affection I have for you. You’re something different, and somewhere deep down, I think I’ve thought so almost since I met you. Why else do you think I’ve bothered to get to know you even after all the shit you’ve given me?”

  Kurt looked away quickly, didn’t want Blaine to see the red creeping up his neck. 

  “Okay,” he said. “I still don’t see how you think that, but whatever you say, mister.” He’d barely gotten the words out before suddenly Blaine stood up abruptly, sending a whiff of cold air sweeping across Kurt’s left arm and cheek. 

  “Where’re you going?” he asked, keeping his arms from stretching out after him as he walked away.

 “Come on,” Blaine just said, ignoring the question, walking towards the back of the stage, where the light was even dimmer.

  Was he really going to do this? Was he really?

Yes. Yes he was. Man, he really got cheesier and cheesier the further he fell. What would be next? A picknink by the riverside with roses and wine? 

  Blaine wasn’t good at making up his mind. Especially not today. Yet he was somehow sure that he… had to do this. Or something.

  “Where are we going and what’re are you going to do?” Kurt asked from behind him. Blaine continued to ignore him, and he could almost hear Kurt’s unimpressed and impatient expression.

   He’d been right; there, in the back left corner of the stage, stood a piano. It was big and black, shiny and, he found, very welcoming. Suddenly he felt more sure of what he was about to do.

  Kurt was growing too curious for his liking, the dark wooden stage suddenly feeling painfully eternal. Then he spotted the piano. It seemed that that was most definitely to where Blaine was heading. The cogs started to work in his head, as you say. They found an answer almost immediately.

  “You’re going to sing to me.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I’m going to sing to you,” Blain, however, almost made it sound like one.

  As he sat down on the round piano stool, Blaine immediately felt less sure of himself. He hadn’t played in years –what made him think he’d be able to play now? What the hell had he been thinking?

He tried out a couple of accords, played a little simple melody just to try it out… it worked out better than he’d thought it would. Way better. He smiled to himself. Maybe playing the piano really was like learning to ride a bike.

   Kurt watched Blaine closely from where he’d jumped  up to sit on the back of the instrument. There was something about it all that fascinated Kurt. Blaine looked so… at ease as he found his way back to the melodies and rhythms. It seemed like he hadn’t played in a long times. He wanted to ask just for how long, but there was something that made him not to, something that made him not want to break the unspoken silence.

  And then, after a pleasant eternity, Blaine parted his lips and started to sing.

  Is there a right way for how this goes?
You got your friends and you got your foes
They want a piece of something hot
Forget your name like they forgot

  Kurt could nothing but stay quiet and listen.

  Oh, ain't that something

  Blaine’s voice was soft and so incredibly soothing. It was the most beautiful thing Kurt had ever heard.

  Some want to see you crash and burn
Criticize your every word
I'm trynna keep from going insane
Ain’t that the way of this whole damn thing
Oh, Trying to be something, more

Nobody's gonna love you
If you can't display a way to capture this
Nobody's gonna hold your hand
And guide you through
No it's up for you to understand
Nobody's gonna feel your pain
When all is done and it's time for you to walk away
So when you have today
You should say all that you have to say
(Oh, say all that you have to say)

  Blaine’s fingers stumbled over each other every now and again, and something he would press the wrong key, but Kurt barely noticed. And he certainly didn’t care.

  Is there a right way for being strong
Feels like I'm doing things all wrong
Still I'm here just holding on
Confess my heart and forgive my wrongs
Oh just trying to show you something, more

Nobody's gonna love you
If you can't display a way to capture this
Nobody's gonna hold your hand
And guide you through
No it's up for you to understand
Nobody's gonna feel your pain
When all is done and it's time for you to walk away
So when you have today
You should say all that you have to say

  Blaine dared to look up from the piano for the chorus. His fingers continued playing, but much less good and correct than before. The look on Kurt’s face was definitely worth whatever wrongs in the melody there came. He couldn’t possibly put neither the look nor what it did to him himself into words, no matter how hard he might’ve tried. He nearly forgot to continue the song once it was time for him to come back to it with his voice.

  Don't point the blame when you can't find nothing
Look to yourself and you might find something
It's time that we sorted out
All of the things we complain about
So listen close to the sound of your soul
Take back a life you led once before

If it ain't you then who?
If it ain't you then who is gonna love you?

Nobody's gonna love you
If you can't display a way to capture this
Nobody's gonna hold your hand
And guide you through
No it's up for you to understand
Nobody's gonna feel your pain
When all is done and it's time for you to walk away
When you have today
You should say all that you have to say

  For the last two lines, his voice dropped almost to a whisper, his fingers pressing the keys even softer than before.

   So when you have today
You should say all that you have to say

  Once the song was done, Blaine suddenly felt a hint of embarrassment come to life somewhere inside him. He looked down at his hands, that were still placed lightly on the milk-white ebony keys. He didn’t know what to say. Maybe because he’d just told him just about everything he wanted to tell him in the song, or maybe because he could feel the eyes of the other boy on him so clearly.

  “That was…” The breathlessness in Kurt’s quiet voice made Blaine’s brain go a little bit dizzy. “That was good –you’re really good.”

  Blaine looked up at him, and Kurt couldn’t hold back a smile. Blaine grinned back at him uncontrollably. Then, suddenly, Kurt turned around and sat both his feet down on the piano keys and stood up a little in order to get down to Blaine on the stool as quickly as possible. If it was because of the sudden movement or because of the sudden loud sound Blaine’s heart stopped for a second, he didn’t know. He knew, however, that whatever the reason to Kurt’s actions, he couldn’t get down to him any sooner. He found Kurt sitting in his lap, one leg on either side, with his arms around him, just when he felt like Kurt was moving with a snail’s peed.

  “Thank you,” Kurt said in low voice, his eyes not really daring to meet his. “However chick-flick-ish it may have been to serenade me like that, I really can’t deny how much I appreciate it.”

  Snaking his arms around the slender boy’s waist, Blaine couldn’t help but smile again. “You’re very welcome.” he said, and leaned forward to kiss him. Kurt responded happily.

  “You’re a very good kisser, you know that?” Kurt said, almost thoughtfully, with a half smile after the broke apart. Blaine laughed quietly.

  “Thanks,” he said. “You too,” That made Kurt laugh a little laugh himself. He leaned forward and rested his face in the curve of Blaine’s neck and sighed happily.

  “I didn’t know it was still possible for me to feel like this,” he said. “Thank you for showing me that I could.”

  Blaine smiled and hugged him closer. “Thank you for finally letting me.” he said.

  “Blaine…” Kurt said after a while. Blaine hummed for him to continue. He sat up straight and looked into his eyes. His face was serious. “Do you really… do you really think this is okay?”

  “Do I think what’s okay?”

  “Do you think me feeling like this is okay –after all the promises I’ve made to myself… –is it really okay?”

  “Of course it is,” Blaine answered calmly. He placed a hand on Kurt’s cheek. “You’ve changed since then, those promises doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve started to come out of that shell now… and as you said, don’t overthink things. Just be.”

  Kurt made a face. “Did I really say that?” he whined, seeming a bit disgusted with  himself; thought it was only halfhearted.

  “You did,” Blaine said with a little chuckle. “and I think it was very wisely said of you.”

  Kurt rolled his eyes.

  “What?”

  “I’m not wise,” he groaned.

  “Everyone’s wise. In their own way.” Blaine said with an overdone serious face that made Kurt shake his head with a ‘you’re an idiot’ kind of look on his face.

  “I’ve got somewhere I wanna take you.” Blaine said suddenly, deciding. “You free after school?” he asked jokingly, knowing what Kurt’s answer would be.”

  “I’m free now.”

  As he’d suspected. “Well, I’m not, ‘cause I’m not skipping science class.”

  Kurt rolled his eyes. “What is with that devotion to school you have going on? Kinda out of character, don’t you think?” 

  Blaine had expected this, even though they’d been through this numerous times before.

  “How is it out of character?” he said, pretending to get all defensive. “You mean because I wear ripped jeans and drive a motorcycle I can’t be interested in learning new stuff? That’s really close-minded of you, you know.”

  “No, I mean that school is boring and worthless and I can’t see how you seem to like it.” Kurt said, ignoring Blaine’s last sentence. 

  “Well, when was the last time you actually went to class?”

  “Like, last week or something, I dunno,”

  “Okay, then when was the last time you payed attention in class?”

  Kurt was quiet for quite some time after that, searching his suddenly empty brain for the answer. Blaine watched him in amusement. And then, finally, Kurt gave up and shot him a look of pretend anger.

  “What’s this place you want to take me to?” he asked instead, anything to get away from the Topic of School.

  Blaine shrugged. “Wait and see.” he said.

  Kurt shot him a disapproving look, which quickly turned to a look of suspicion. “You’re not talking me to some fancy restaurant or something as a followup of that song stunt, are you?”

  “No,” Blaine laughed. “It’s not a date and I promise that there won’t be any roses or chocolates even remotely involved.”

  So, they both went to class. Yes, Kurt too. Because Blaine was going, and Kurt felt like right now, leaving Blaine’s side was about the last thing he wanted to do.

“I’ve got a job.” Kurt breathed as he got back into the car after helping Blaine lift his motorcycle up on the rear of the pick-up. His eyes were open wide, his lips slightly parted; he couldn’t believe it.

  “You’ve got a job.” Blaine echoed, grinning uncontrollably.

  Kurt smiled a nervous smile.

  “Why’re you looking scared?” Blaine asked, his head tilted to the side. 

  “I don’t know.” said Kurt slowly, sounding a bit breathless, but not just because of the physical work he’d done only a minute or so ago.

   After school ended, Blaine had led Kurt to his car and said the he’d get to follow behind Blaine’s motorcycle, as he didn’t want to leave it there. That was only half the truth, however. Another reason he didn’t want to ride in the car with Kurt was because he didn’t want to risk spilling the beans, as you say. He wanted where they were going to be a surprise, wanted to see the confused look on Kurt’s face as he stepped out of the car. He hadn’t been disappointed. The look on Kurt’s face when he looked to Blaine in search for answers was absolute gold. “A coffee shop?” he’d asked, eyebrows high on his forehead. “I’m a little lost. You told me it wasn’t going to be a date.” And Blaine had meant that. Buying Kurt coffee and having meaningful conversations in a shop full of people was not at all what he had in mind. 

  The case was, that as of late, the Lima Bean was in an acute need of more work force. As it grew colder and colder outside, they got more and more to do. Blaine had agreed on working Tuesdays after school as well as Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and he knew that other people had done the same. Blaine knew that the only reason he still had a job to go to was because they needed all the workers the could get; but it’d been close more than once, as he often came late or forgot. Especially on Fridays and Saturdays. He had promised both himself and the Upstairs that he’d better himself, as without the job he’d have to ask for even more money from the Smythe’s. And that wasn’t a pleasant thought. 

  It had taken way less to get Kurt the job than Blaine had thought though. The call to make an arrangement for a job interview hadn’t even lasted a minute. “What’s his name?” the man had said, just as impatient as always. “Kurt, Kurt Hummel.” Blaine had answered. “Well then, as long as he’s got a working body, he’s got the job.” And then he’d hung up. Kurt had shook hands with his new colleges and that had been it. 

   “Why did you do this?” Kurt asked.

  Blaine gave him a look. “Oh, I didn’t do it for you. I did it for the sake of my job. Don’t go gettin’ any ideas, Hummel,”

  Kurt snorted. “I hate you,”

  Blaine hummed with a little nod. “You really don’t.”

  “No,” He leaned across the the car, gesturing for Blaine to do the same. “I really don’t.” 

  When Blaine opened his eyes again, he saw a couple from across the street looking at them, the disgust obvious on their faces. He rolled his eyes, and when Kurt looked around to see at what, he did the same.

  As they drove past them, Kurt drove almost as slow as he could. He grabbed Blaine’s shirt and kissed him again, driving even slower, window rolled down. Blaine laughed airily into Kurt’s mouth as they demonstratively let their tongues dance between their lips.

  “Fucking homos,” half shouted the couple together, the disgust on their faces even more distinct now.

  Blaine shot them the finger as Kurt shouted back, “Fucking heteros,”. They laughed together as girlfriend and boyfriend shook their heads at them, their whole faces frowning with disapproval. Kurt pressed down the gas-pedal and the engine roared, though the car still didn’t go very fast.

  “By the way,” Blaine said thoughtfully after a while. “I dunno if I’ve asked you this before, but do you… Do you even have a driver’s license?”

  Kurt grinned, not remembering either. “Nope,” he said.

  “And you’ve never been caught?”

  “Nope,”

  “And you’ve driven home drunk billions of times?”

  “Yup,”

  “Well, that’s… quiet skilled of you.”

  “It’s how I roll,” Kurt said jokingly, doing a wavy sort of gesture with his right hand. Blaine rolled his eyes before asking:

  “So, what now?”

  “Well,” Kurt said. “Either I drive you home or I don’t drive you home.”

  “I’m kinda hungry, so it would be nice to go home, I guess,”

  Kurt nodded. “Right on,” he said, feeling his own stomach growl, but ignored it; he was used to it anyway.

  “We could always get, like, a pizza or something, instead?” Blaine suggested when he saw the look on Kurt’s face.

  “‘Don’t have any money,” Kurt said shortly.

  “I do,” 

  “I’m not letting you buy me food.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because, only today, you’ve comforted me when I was a whiny crybaby, you’ve sung a frickin’ song to me and you’ve gotten me a job. A job. I’m not letting you do anything else for me. At least not today.”

  “Fine, starve then.”

   Blaine ended up buying a pizza for the two of them anyway. The offer ended up being too tempting to childishly turn down. It had been ages since he’d last had one, and he was hungry. Very hungry. And apparently so was Blaine; the two of them managed to eat a family pizza without trouble.

   Kurt sighed happily and patted his full stomach, leaning against the wall behind him. They were at his place, of some reason. They hadn’t planned it, it’d just sort of happened. 

  “I feel like I could sleep for a millennia,” Blaine yawned. He was lying on Quinn’s mattress, which they’d placed alongside the wall that the door was in. They’d moved Kurt’s mattress too, so that the two met at in the corner.

  “The feeling’s mutual,” Kurt muttered sleepily, closing his eyes, feeling completely prepared to go to sleep whilst still sitting up; his stomach was full and the apartment didn’t feel at all as cold as usual. If it was Blaine being there that made the place feel more tolerable, or if it was the food filling his stomach, he didn’t know, and he didn’t care.

   When Blaine heard Kurt sigh heavily and make a little sleepy sound of comfort, Blaine rolled to lie on his stomach. He propped up his head on his hands and watched Kurt through his eyelashes. It seemed as if the other boy had already gone to sleep. His breathing was heavy and slow, his face relaxed and peaceful. Blaine smiled to himself. 

  I can’t believe I finally have you. He thought, and got a little surprised by himself for doing so. Because, did he really have Kurt? Was that even what he wanted? He wasn’t sure if it was. He didn’t want Kurt to be his. He didn’t want to own him. He wanted Kurt to be his own person. All Blaine wanted was to be able to… share. He wanted to be able to share his time with Kurt, and he wanted Kurt to do the same thing. That was all.

Though, it really was nice, finally being able to kiss him when he wanted to. It seemed so strange that it’d hall changed yesterday. It seemed so far away, somehow And it’d all… moved so quickly since then. Or something. Maybe it was because they were both already very introduced to and comfortable with all the… sexual stuff. Or something. It was the more emotional topics that were new to, really, both of them. 

Blaine had never been the one to deny it when he like or had a crush on someone, but had never been the one to act on it either. (Some of the times the want, or need, to act on it would not be there to begin with.)

Kurt had always been the one to deny I when he had a crush on someone, almost to the point where he barely noticed it, to the point that he denied it almost before it even happened, and by that, he would mostly not even notice it. Also, Kurt had developed a very real struggle with emotions and more-than-physical relationships after all he’d went through. It wasn’t all him not wanting to; to some part it was him not being able to. Though that had finally started to change. There was finally a person that made that change possible; that made the change happen almost without Kurt realizing it before it was ‘too late’. 

   Blaine sat up slowly, crawled over to Kurt, and sat down on his knees beside him.

  “Kurt,” he whispered. Kurt made a little sound of complaint and turned his head away, clearly asleep. Blaine chuckled quietly. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand and ran his fingers through his hair, stroking his temple with his thumb. Kurt hummed and leaned into his touch. Blaine smiled and blinked slowly, as one does sometimes when overcome by strong feelings of happiness. He leaned forward and placed a quick kiss to Kurt’s cheek, then pulled away his hand and turned around, still on his knees. He pushed the empty pizza box across the floor and moved the only two glasses in the apartment to the side. He then proceeded to move ‘his’ mattress so that it laid next to the one Kurt was sitting on. 

  Blaine laid down and stretched his arm over his head, a little groan escaping his lips. Then he turned over to his side, facing Kurt, and curled onto a little ball. His mind was blissfully empty and he barely let himself believe that this was actually reality. He soon fell asleep, and his sleeping mind welcomed Kurt’s hand happily as it found its way into his.

It was the grip of his hand that woke Kurt up. He looked over at Blaine. He was flinging his head side to side, whimpering and moaning. He was lying on the mattress that had once been Quinn’s, his left hand was outstretched and holding on to Kurt’s right. The grip was convulsive, making his hand hurt slightly.

  “Blaine,” Kurt whispered, trying to wake him up from his nightmares. “Hey, wake up,”

  He shook him gently by the shoulder. “You’re having a bad dream, wake up,”

  But Blaine wouldn’t wake up. His face was shiny with sweat and his breathing was heavy, panicking. He flinched and wrinkled his brow deeply as his head shook back and forth, tiny whimpers escaping his lips ever other second. His jaws were clenched and his whole body seemed to be cramping.

  “Blaine,” Kurt called again, a little louder. He hated seeing him like this. Why couldn’t he juts wake up? Why couldn’t he just…

  Blaine jolted awake, sitting up quicker than lightning strikes, screaming a scream that was one of the most terrible screams Kurt had ever head. Blaine looked around him, eyes wide, hyperventilating. He swallowed again and again, trying to calm down. Then his eyes found Kurt, and something happened that none of them had expected.

  “I…” Blaine whispered weakly. He threw himself forward and landed on his knees next to Kurt, face hidden in his arms and let out a quiet sob. “Fuck,” he whined, trying to breathe more calmly. 

  Kurt sat frozen on the spot. He didn’t know how to handle the situation. He wanted to know how to, he really did, because Blaine had managed to know when Kurt needed it. And now when Kurt was needed, he didn’t know what to do. He cursed himself for being so useless. 

  “What do I…?” he said to himself, feeling his insides turn with hurt as Blaine’s shoulders shook as he cried.

  “I’m–” Blaine tried to say, sitting up, wiping his face. Kurt’s breath stuck in his throat.

  “Blaine…” he said quietly, reaching a hand out a hand as to stroke his cheek, but let it fall halfway. 

  “I’m sorry –I’m so sorry,” Blaine said, looking so helpless.

  “Don’t… Don’t be sorry, you didn’t do anything.”

  Kurt scooched over and took Blaine in his arm. He wanted to say something to him. He wanted to find the right words so that Blaine would stop crying. But there was nothing. Nothing came to mind.

  Why must I always be so fucking useless? He thought.

  Blaine buried his face in Kurt’s chest and hugged him closer, breathing heavily as the damned tears kept falling down his face. 

  For a long, long while they sat like that. Kurt held him in his arm, a hand gently stroking his hair, only making Blaine cry even more. Kurt didn’t find anything to say, but it seemed that at that moment, Blaine didn’t need words. He needed to cry. So Kurt let him, feeling his heart aching more and more for ever sob. 

  Finally, Blaine’s breathing became more controlled, and slowly but surely the sobs died out and then the tears came to a stop. Blaine almost wished they wouldn’t; didn’t want to leave Kurt’s embrace just yet. His back was aching by the slightly awkward angle however, so eventually he sat up.

  Blaine sighed heavily and dried his face. He looked at the big wet spot on the chest of Kurt’s shirt and made a grimace. “I’m sorry,” he said again, but Kurt just shook his head. 

  “I’m the one who should apologizing.” he said in a half mutter.

  Blaine tilted his head to the side, looking at him with wonder in his eyes. “Why’s that?”

  “Because I’ve been so focused on my own stupid problems and… demons, or whatever you wanna call them, I’ve totally forgotten about yours.” He looked at Blaine apologetically. “I’m  really sorry about that,”

  “Don’t be,” Blaine said. “I’m the one who hadn’t brought it up.”

  “Yeah but–”

  “You were there for me just now, weren’t you?” Blaine cut off.

  “Yeah, but…” Kurt said again.

  “Then that’s all that matters. You held me while I humiliated myself. That’s more than what I could’ve asked for.”

  “You didn’t humiliate yourself.”

  Blaine snorted lightheartedly. “Did you just see me? I cried like a baby,”

  “Yeah…” Kurt wasn’t looking playful, but very serious. “Why did you though?”

  “I don’t…” Blaine sighed, his posture slumping a bit. “I’m not sure,”

  “What was that dream you had?”

  “Can’t remember,”

  “That’s bullshit.” Kurt said. He knew that you didn’t just forget dreams that affected you that badly. 

  Blaine smiled a half smile, his eyes sad. “I guess it is,” he admitted. 

  “What was that dream about?” Kurt asked again.

  “‘Lot of stuff,” He sighed heavily; bracing himself for talking about the nightmare aloud. He hadn’t done that in ages. “I was being killed, for one,”

  “That’s –not good,”

  Blaine shook his head. “It’s kind of like this dream where I’m running but not coming anywhere… my mother is shouting at me –I can’t always hear what she’s saying,” He didn’t want to go on. He hated talking about it. But he knew it would probably be good if he did. He knew he could trust Kurt with this kind of stuff, too. They were a lot alike when it came to this, after all. 

  “You, ehm, you don’t have to tell me everything –if you don’t want to,” Kurt said, obviously noticing his unwillingness to go on.

  Blaine shook his head. “I think I want to,”

  “Okay,” Kurt nodded. “But you don’t have to,” 

  “Okay, well,” Blaine said and there was a couple of seconds silence in which he tried to think of a way to continue. It’s always hard describing dreams. “There’s always this gang –the same people that beat me that day, I think. And, basically, they kinda… they torture me, in one way or another. It’s usually something different every time. And sometimes, most of the time, my mother’s in the background somewhere laughing and saying how I deserved it because I made my dad leave and… –yeah.”

  “And you have this dream –how often again?”

  “Almost every night.”

  Kurt sighed outwards. “That’s not good.”

  “It’s nothing,” Blaine just shook off.

  “It’s not nothing if you can’t sleep without dreaming that someone’s torturing you,” 

  “I can handle it–”

  Kurt hadn’t realized this before. He didn’t know Blaine had to deal with this, not to this level. He’d been too selfish to notice, or even to ask. “When was the last time you slept a full night?” 

  “Tonight, when you were there.”

  Kurt felt the words seating themselves in his chest and some kind of strong emotion flooded over him. He stopped it from showing and asked, “And before that?”

  Blaine shrugged. “I did stop having these kind of dreams a couple of months ago, but, yeah, they’ve come back.”

  Kurt just nodded, not having the slightest idea what to say.

  “My, uhm, I had this kind of… speech therapy after… after what happened, and because of the dreams,” Kurt made a grimace at the mention of speech therapy. He really, strongly disliked it. “And for a while they thought I had something called night terrors. You know what that is?”

  Kurt shook his head. 

  “Well, it’s different from person to person, and I don’t know too much about it. But it’s these kinds of… episodes, or attacks, I guess you could call it, where you go through horrible nightmares that you can’t be woken from. It turned out that I didn’t, since they could wake me up and I often remember my dreams, as you usually don’t when you have night terrors.

“But what I go through is still… it’s still pretty terrifying, and it makes it pretty damn hard for me to actually rest. I usually stay awake all night instead, and if I’m lucky, and if I have the time, I can manage to sleep at least for a little while during the day.”

  Once again, Kurt shook his head. He rubbed his face with his hands and took a deep breath. “It really sucks that you have to go through this,”

  Blaine nodded, but still kind of shrugged at the same time. “It could be worse,” he said.

  “Yeah, but still,” Kurt said. “You should go back to that speech therapy thing if it helps you get rid of the dreams.”

  “Look who’s talkin’,” Blaine said jokingly, but still, Kurt didn’t smile.

  “I’m serious.” he said. “I don’t…” He sighed heavily, searching for the right words. “I’ve got this sucky feeling in my chest right now. I kinda hate that you’re not… that you have to go through this kind of thing.”

  Blaine tilted his head to his side and gave Kurt a look.

  “What?” he asked, straightening his posture as you do sometimes when there’s something you don’t understand.

  “You’re really sweet sometimes.” Blaine smiled. “And it makes me happy that you care so much,”

  Kurt blushed on the inside a little. “Shut up,” he pouted. “You’re still the one who serenaded me.”

  “And you’re still the one who cares,” Blaine said, moving closer. “And that still makes me happy. There’s no need to defend yourself.”

  “You sure?”

  “Mhm,” Blaine hummed with a half smile, his hands now on Kurt’s knees.

  “Promise?” Kurt said, teasingly leaning backwards as Blaine tried to lean in and kiss him.

  “I promise,” Blaine said, and he pushed Kurt down on his back. He laughed into Blaine’s lips before responding to the eager kiss. 

  Kurt felt almost like he was lying on the floor with the weight of Blaine on top of him, but he so didn’t care. Because Blaine was on top of him. Blaine was on top of him and his hands were all over his body, and Kurt had the chance to do the same. The sensation of Blaine’s bare skin under his fingertips made him tingly allover, and the sensation of Blaine’s hands on his bare skin made him tingle even more. 

  “This really is different,” he said to himself. Out loud of some weird reason. It made it a bit awkward with the whole kissing part.

  “Hm?” Blaine asked, but didn’t look too offended that Kurt had suddenly started talking while making out. 

  “Nothin’, just –Forever ago, Santana said that it was different when she was with Brittany than it had been when she was still going with the whole one-night-stand thing.”

  “And?”

  “And, at the time I just thought she was completely wrong,” Kurt brushed Blaine’s temple with the thumb of his right hand. “but I can kinda see what she was talking about now.”

  Blaine shook his head and Kurt gave him a look, chuckling. 

  “What?” Kurt asked. 

  “I just… I kinda can’t believe you,”

  “Why? What’d I do now?”

  “Nothin’,” Blaine assured. “I’m just kinda… I like this. I really, really like this.”

  Kurt nodded, knowing just what he meant. He liked that Kurt finally seemed to be able to actually really do this.

  “Me too,” he said, taking advantage of the moment and flipped them around.

  As Kurt left Blaine’s lips with his own to move downwards and kiss his neck, Blaine’s little hum got interrupted by a giant yawn.

  “Sorry,” Blaine said, actually blushing a little. “I swear to you that I’m not bored, that’s not it it’s just–” he rambled, but got cut off by Kurt’s laughter. 

  “Don’t laugh at me!” Blaine cried, hitting him on the arm.

  Kurt’s head fell down on his chest and his shoulders shook as floods of laughter escaped his lips, unable to respond in words. And soon, Blaine had to laugh as well.

  “I swear I’m not bored,” he continued saying. 

  “I don’t even know what was so funny about that,” Kurt managed after a while, straightening up, eyes all teary. 

  Blaine sat up, Kurt still over him, straddling him. “There was nothing funny about that,” he said. “you’re just an ass that likes to embarrass people,”

  “Mm,” Kurt nodded. “that must be it.”

  “Can we please keep going now?” Blaine said, looking at Kurt with puppy eyes.

  He chuckled. “I think,” he said, heaving himself back up into a standing position. “you’d better get home and get some rest, don’t you?”

  Blaine stood up after him. He looked at Kurt through his eyelashes. “Pwease?” he asked.

  “No,” Kurt said, pretending to be stern about it. Blaine made a high-pitched sound of disapproval. 

  “But don’t get the wrong idea,” he continued, inching a bit closer to Blaine. “it’s not like I don’t want to or anything.”

  Blaine looked up at him pleadingly. His crotch was throbbing almost painfully. Kurt chuckled and stepped forward, snaked his arms around Blaine’s waist and pressed their bodies together. Blaine made a little sound.

  “Another time though,” Kurt said, smirking at the look Blaine gave him as he stepped away again.

  “I’m going to kill you.”

  Kurt grinned evilly at him. “This is but repayment for your cruel acts yesterday,” he purred.

  “I’m still going to kill you,” Blaine muttered, looking like a three-year-old who’d just been denied another cookie. 

  “Go home and get some sleep.”

  “Only if you promise me you will too?” Blaine said. He knew he wasn’t the only one having troubles with the whole sleeping thing.

  “I’m sure gonna try.” Kurt muttered. Then, with a smirk, he added, “After I’ve payed attention to someone who needs it,” He put his hand in his jean pocket, to make Blaine’s eyes follow his movement, pulling off an innocent face.

  “I hate you so much right now.” Blaine said darkly.

  “Mm.” Kurt grinned. “You really don’t.”

  “No,” Blaine said, opening the door. “I really don’t.”

When Blaine was finally back home, he had troubles keeping his eyes open. It was only about 8p.m, but he longed for his bed so badly. 

  When he stepped into the living room, he saw Marcie sitting on the couch, arms crossed, a displeased look on her face.

  “Mom,” Blaine said quietly, his heart sinking. He knew what was coming, and he knew he deserved it.

  She turned and looked at him. “Oh, welcome home honey,” she smiled sweetly. Blaine bit the inside of his lower lip. “Time to come home now, is it?”

  “I’m sorry, I just–” Crap. He should’ve gone home to check on her before he went off with Kurt. 

  “So, what have my baby been up to today, then?”

  “I’ve just –I’ve…” He sighed heavily, ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been with Kurt,” He’d expected his mom to drop her fake-sweet, poisonous act then, expected her to relax a little; she seemed to like Kurt, so he thought… he wasn’t sure what he thought. And, he got what he wanted; she dropped her act. She dropped it and when she spoke again, Blaine almost wished she hadn’t. Almost. It was always better being shouted at, compared to… that.

  “Kurt!” Marcie spat. “Of course! Of course it was Kurt. When isn’t it?”

  Blaine wanted to say something, but the look his mom was giving him, the anger in her voice… It made him feel so small, almost as small as he did when she used her Other voice with him, the one he’d wished away seconds ago. He couldn’t get a word out. 

  “So, what’s so important about this Kurt then?”

  Blaine felt himself shrink more and more for every word. He wanted to stand up to her. He wanted to, but he knew he deserved it. He’d been a bad son, and he deserved this.

  “Answer me!” she jelled, standing up.

  “There’s nothing –there’s nothing special about him, I just–” 

  “Then why the hell are you suddenly more concerned about this Kurt than you are for your own mother? That is not how I raised you!”

  Suddenly, Blaine found his voice, his ability to stand straight. And he got angry. He got so angry. He was so tired and he just…

  “No, mom, you’re right, you didn’t raise me like that!” he said, a little louder than intended. “You didn’t raise me at all because you were too damn busy swallowing pills!” 

  It looked as if Marcie got six feet taller, at least, as she swelled with anger and stepped across the room.

  Smack! 

  Blaine stumbled a little to the side from the impact of his mother’s slap, but he didn’t let out a cry; he wouldn’t give her that much satisfaction. Not now. The left side of his face was stinging and burning, but he kept his face straight.

  “I am ashamed to be your mother!” Marcie spat, her voice dripping with poison, only inches away from his face. 

  Blaine only stared right back into her eyes, biting his teeth together to stop himself from saying something else. He’d already done enough. 

  “Get out of my sight,” she hissed, every word more hateful than the last.

  Blaine did what he was told; gladly so. He backed and turned, walked up the steps of the stair, his body numb with a mix of tiredness, anger and hurt. When he was finally in his room again, he slumped down on the floor, his back leaning against the closed door. He took out his cell and, after a moment’s hesitation, he dialed the number.

  Ten minutes later, he had an appointment with Mrs. Black.