If Kurt thought that his life has been busy until now, it was nothing comparing to what the next week was holding for him. He had spent pretty much the rest of his Sunday sleeping in Mercedes and Sam spare room, too tired to eat, stand up or anything. He just lied there all day, not wanting to go back at his place, by himself.

So he was feeling like hell when Monday morning came, and he had to go to work. He felt like he had been run over by a truck or something. He felt like his head was going to explode. Not that he had been drinking, because it was definitely worst that any hangover. The hot shower he took didn't make him relax one bit. Nor the 3 Tylenols that he had swallowed even before breakfast. He was just feeling terrible, and nothing to do about that.

"Hey babe, good morning" called an over cheerful Mercedes, entering the kitchen behind him.

"Hey Cedes…" he was sitting on a chair, his head resting on the kitchen table. He felt sick

"Are you ok babe, you don't look good?" asked Mercedes with concern.

"Jeez, Cedes, you know how to make a man feel good about himself!"

"Sorry babe, it's just that you're really white… and kind of green in the same time"

"Haven't you heard, green and white are the new black!"

"Ok, cut the crap will you? I'm concerned about you, and you're just being a bitch white boy"

"I'm sorry cedes, but I hate it. I hate feeling that weak"

"You're not week babe. You just had a rough weekend. Anyone would loose it. Hell, I lost it and I'm not even the principal concerned person!"

"I know Cedes… but I wonder if it's ever going to stop. Or this will just hunt me the rest of my life… "

"OK, White boy, That's enough" she almost screamed. Kurt jumped in surprise from his chair, horror struck in his eyes, looking at his best friend like he had never seen her before.

"Stop mopping around and weeping like a cry baby! Now get your acts together before I kick you sweet ass, and go do something with your life!" She pushed him out of the chair, nearly causing him to fell on the floor, but at the last minute she caught him and pulled him out on his feet. The she started shoving him out of the kitchen, putting some gentle slaps on his butt like he was a 4 year old. Kurt was dumb struck, and just let himself get pushed out. "Ok, now, take that," she gave him an apple, "eat it, it's healthy for you. And you know what's healthy also? Going to WORK. Going out. Living a life. Breathing fresh air. Stop thinking shit. Just Go out there and go freakin' live your life, Kurt!"

She opened the door from the apartment, gave him his bag, and then started pushing him again to get out. But this time Kurt resisted and turned to face his friend. Surprisingly enough, he had a grin on his face.

"Hey Cedes, has never told you that you are kind of a scary pushy Girl?"

"Yeah, might have heard that once or twice." She chuckled, glad to see that her friend was taking her threats pretty well.

"Thanks, Cedes, I mean it."

"Anytime, white boy. Now go!" And with a final push, Kurt was outside the apartment, the door slamming on his face.

Kurt was still smiling though. That's exactly why he loved Mercedes. Because even though she was the best comprehensive friend ever, and she always listened to his mopping, she just knew what was best for her friend, even if Kurt wasn't aware himself of that, sometimes. She knew when to listen and she knew when to push. Like today. She had known that he had to get out, and start living his life again. That mopping around about Blaine or his weekend wouldn't do him any good. Instead he should focus on his life, and what made it great. Like his job. Kurt absolutely loved working as fashion designer. It had been his long life dream, with singing in Broadway, and he was so damn glad that he had been lucky enough to have his own company at only 24 years old. Most people would say it had nothing with luck but more with his amazing talent. "Well, let's use that talent", thought Kurt with a smile, and holding that thought, he was off to work, still smiling.

***********

But once he arrived at the office, Kurt felt like his good mood wasn't going to last. He had the feeling that something would go terribly wrong today. Or tomorrow. Anytime this week really. Yeah, he was a pessimist, just get over it, people.

Like if it was a sign or something, Leila, the head of the Human Resources service, practically tackled him as soon as he walked out from the elevator.

"Mr. Hummel, thank go you're here, we have a major problem"

"Ok calm down Leila, what's up?" sighed Kurt. He should have expected that he wouldn't even have the time for a coffee before people started attacking him. And today, more than ever, he really needed his coffee to think straight.

"It's Leo, he's …" but she never got to finish her phrase, because an other one of the employees just jumped in front of them, and started exposing her own problems.

"Oh Mr. Hummel you're here, we have a issue in the fitting room. One of the models we hired for the new campaign is just…"

"Mr. Hummel, I need to talk to you. There's something wrong with the poster you requested for the new collection… it's too…" an other one cut

"Mr. Hummel, please you need to call back Sacks, they have been trying to reach you since…"

"Mr. Hummel, it's urgent."

"Oh my god, JUST STOP!" Kurt shouted, and everyone just froze. Shock on their faces. They never saw him loose his temper before. He was always so courteous, so nice, and even friendly. He loved to chat with them, and laugh to their jocks. He never considered them like his employees, but more like his partners, which made all the staff respect him and even love him. He was nothing like a normal boss, really.

Kurt immediately regretted loosing his temper. He was the one who was tired, really. It wasn't fair to them, or their work.

"I'm sorry guys, I'm just really tired. And a bit sick"

"It's ok, boss" replied Leila with a smile. She could see it now, yes, he was kind of a little pale.

"No, it's not. Why don't you guys, just come to my office in half an hour, but one by one please. Just figure it out. In the meantime, if you don't mind, I'll go to my office, have a cup of coffee, gather myself, so I can try to not scare you off the next time." Kurt replied with an apologetic smile.

"Ok, we'll do that" said Leo, and everyone got dispersed.

Kurt started walking toward his office, relieved, when he heard someone calling him, half through. He stopped and few seconds later, Jeffrey had reached him. But unlike the others, he didn't mind to talk to him. Jeffrey wasn't only his partner, but one of the very few true friends he had in his life, besides his high school friends. They had met when they were both working in Vogue for an internship, 6 years ago, and they just clicked. Jeff wasn't gay or anything, he just loved the world of fashion. But he had also a degree in finances and economy. So when Kurt had started his company, he asked Jeff to join him to be the financial officer. Basically the number two in the job. Because Kurt had to admit it, he knew nothing about finances, or how to handle money and make economies. He knew that since he was in high school and spent all his money buying designer clothes, which left him broken for the rest of the month. Thankfully, Jeff was really good at cutting unnecessary expenses. But beyond that, he was a really nice man, funny as hell and a good friend to Kurt when he had needed him the most.

"Hey man, you sure were scary back there. Kind of funny to witness actually. You are cute when you're pissed."

"Cut it Jeff. But yeah, I kind of lost it. Shouldn't have done it thought."

"It's good for them from time to time. You're so friendly all the time. Good to make them remember who's the boss."

"I didn't plan to" sighed Kurt, opening the door to his office, and letting Jeff in. Kurt went directly into the coffee machine and turned the switch on. "do you want some?" he asked his friend, who was already seated in one of the chairs of the office.

"Na, just took one. Thanks. So what's up with you?"

"I kind of had a bad weekend"

"really? I though you would be thrilled with the show opening and stuff. By the way, if I didn't tell you enough Friday, it was amazing! You were great!"

"Thanks Jeff, it was great indeed. But it's not about that. Some stuff happened after that."

"Care to talk about it? You sound pretty annoyed by it."

"No thanks for asking though."

"Anytime"

That's why Kurt liked him. He wasn't a push over like Rachel or even Mercedes sometimes. He was just like other guys. He didn't really talked about his private issues, and he didn't expect Kurt to do that either. If he wanted to, then he would listen, but other than that, he didn't push. Kurt was glad. It felt nice to hang around guys for a change. Girls were so perceptive, so damn emotional all the times. Sometimes he just didn't want to talk about his feelings and he was glad he had Jeff for that. He wasn't as close with Wes, though. Maybe because he had been so much involved in his previous life, that it was still sometimes awkward between them. But when he knew Jeff, sure he was with Blaine, but then again, he wasn't as close to him, to tell him about that. But when Blaine left, they started bonding, and even thought he had told him some small stuff, Jeff didn't know the extent of his relationship with him. He was the only one that wasn't looking at him with pity in his eyes. Who wasn't hovering him all the time. And that felt nice.

The machine finally warmed up, and Kurt served himself some coffee. Then he went to seat behind his desk.

"So, what's up with you Jeff, how was your weekend?"

"Uneventful. As always. Marie and me we got into an other fight and then spent pretty much the whole night making up"

"I swear sometimes I wonder if you deliberately provoke those fights just so you can get laid" smirked Kurt

"You have no proofs" grinned back Jeff

"God, you're helpless. Anyway stop talking about you creepy sex life. Let's get to work. What's on the agenda?"

"You mind besides those half dozens furies that almost takled you today?"

"don't remind me about that" sighed Kurt

"I won't. I have something far more important to remind you of. Your speech at the GLAAD convention"

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about it! It's t he day after tomorrow!"

"Dam yes, it is. Naya asked me to give you this. It's your speech, new and improved. With all the modifications that you suggested."

Jeff handed a paper to Kurt who immediately started reading it. It took him only a couple of minutes, since he had always been a fast reader, and then he looked back at his friend.

"You've read it, don't you?"

"How could you accuse me of doing such a thing?" Jeff feigned to be offended.

"Hoh, cut it already!"

"Ok, yes I did… you know me to well" admitted Jeff sheepishly

"sneaky liar" said Kurt with a amused tone. "So what you think about it?"

"May I remember you that my things are math and numbers, not words. For me it's good. So if Naya says it's good, so it must be. That's why you're paying her I guess."

"Exactly that's my problem. I'm paying her, so she's supposed to agree with me"

"And you're not paying me?"

"That's not it. It's not the same job. Besides, you're my friend, I expect you to be honest with me"

"Ok, Kurt, stop freaking out. Your speech is great. You'll do great. That's supposed to be a honor, a chance, not something to have a heart attack about."

But both Kurt and Jeff knew it was pointless. Kurt would freak out not matter what. After all, like Jeff said it was a honor, a chance for him. He was asked to give a speech at the annual GLAAD convention in New York, and he had no idea but to accept. It's not like he didn't want to, but his agent, Naya practically forced him to do it. It was sure an amazing way to boost his career, and the fact alone that he was requested to do it, meant that he couldn't refuse, or he would pass like a obnoxious little designer. Beyond that, it was a great to make connections, because let's face it, the gay community was leading all the hype in the U.S. Indeed how could he refuse? But Kurt was still disturbed by the idea of it. It's not like he didn't want to support gay rights, it's just that he didn't want to do it publicly. He was proud of who he was, but sometimes he was still unsecure and he was definitely too young in his mind to do such political things. Politic was never something he would talk about, even thought he believed strongly in gay rights, of course. But he wasn't ready to get involved. But it was precisely why GLAAD had chosen him to speak. Because he was young, and an inspiring model for a whole new generation of people. He would reach them easily, they thought. They would learn from his struggles and his battles for self-acceptance and at facing the world and its challenges.

Was Kurt ready for such a heart open speech, he wasn't so sure. That's why he tried to write it so he wouldn't tell a lot about himself but direct it as a message to teens in general. Keep it general, that's what the speech was about. That's what was in Kurt's hands. And what he was planning to talk about.

The whole day went by like a blur. He received about a dozen people in his office, everyone thinking that his problem was far more important and urgent that the others. He tried his best to solve them, spending half of the morning on the phone. For lunch, he just had himself delivered a salad, while reviewing the last photos shoot of his summer campaign, with his executive chief of photography. After that, the afternoon was spent pretty much in the same frenzy state as the morning, with people barging in his office every other 5 minutes, and more important problems that could not be delayed.

With all that craziness running around, he hadn't really had the time to think about anything. He wanted to have a moment with Naya, to review the speech one last time, to make sure it was the right thing to do, but every time he tried to pick up the phone to call his agent, he adjourned it to call an other person, designer, shop owner, or fashion journalist.

He finally abandoned the idea around 7pm, when a other "disaster" had apparently occurred in the fitting room and he was called to supervise its resolution. "Theses people just couldn't anything without him," though Kurt, sighing, when he finally had the opportunity to leave the office, around 9pm. He was absolutely exhausted, his head aching even more than the morning, due to the million thoughts and problems to figure that were running through his mind. But somehow he felt glad for it, because he would never be able to think about Blaine tonight on top of all that.

*****

He really just wanted to go home, take a long nice bath, watch for the hundredth time "Victor Victoria" and go to bed before midnight. Was it really too much to ask?

"Apparently it was very much so", though Kurt when he heard his phone ringing for the fiftieth time this day. As much as he wanted to, he just couldn't ignore it. But when he saw "Finn" on the phone screener, he thought about it twice, before finally giving in, groaned a bit and finally pressed "answer".

"Hi Finn, What's up?"

"Can I come please see you, are you home ?" his brother ton was urgent and suppliant.

"Finn, I just got home, I'm tired, and I need…"

"Please, please Kurt, it won't take long. I'm like just 5 minutes away. I really need to talk to you" cut Finn begging

Kurt let out a deep sigh, but he couldn't really refuse after all his brother had done for him in the last weekend. Well, actually he hadn't really done something, thought Kurt, but it didn't matter because he had done so plenty in the past. But it was not really about who had done the most for each other, and who owed the other. Finn was after all his stepbrother and even if Kurt was tired, he had to support him.

"Ok, come. But make it quick"

"Thanks Kurt, you're amazing. But just so you know, Rachel is joining us too" he added quickly before shutting off the phone.

"Damn him!". Kurt wasn't as eager to see Rachel, far from it. He knew she wouldn't leave him alone before he told her everything. She was such a push over. Kurt loved her but sometimes he really just wanted to murder the girl. And tonight he wasn't in the patient mode to deal with all her crap. "It's her fault " though Kurt, "if I get angry and threw her away. I'm not going to restrain myself just to please her. She can deal with it or she can suck it".

On that thought, the doorbell ringed. It was probably Finn. He really wasn't kidding when he had said he was only 5 minutes away. Kurt had just had the time to unlace his shoes, and toss them in the bathroom, and pull out his tie. He put some slippers on and opened the door.

"Hi Finn, come in"

"I'm sorry bro, you look tired, but I just had to see you" Finn also looked tired. And lost. It's like he had been wondering all day long around the city, just walking without any goal. It was probably what had happened, knowing Finn.

"it's ok. Take a seat. You want something to drink?"

Finn just shook his head and sunk into the couch. Now, that Kurt was really looking at him, he saw how he much his brother was devastated. His eyes were circled with black like he hadn't been slept all night, which was odd, because Kurt knew how much Finn loved his sleep. He had also a sad look on his eyes, and somehow terrified. That really concerned Kurt, because Finn was not really the type to talk about his problems or feelings. He knew it had to do with something involving Rachel. Because she was really the only one who drove his brother that crazy. "Good", thought Kurt, "like there was not enough drama around here".

He went to seat on the table in front of the couch were Finn had let himself fall, and faced him, looking at him right into his eyes. It always bothered Finn to be scanned like that by Kurt, but they both knew that it was the only way to get Finn to talk.

"Ok so what's the problem here Finn"

"It's … It's Rachel… it's like she became mad or something"

Of course, thought Kurt, refraining a sigh.

"Finn, Rachel has always been mad. But you never see it until it's too late. I love her but that girl is crazy"

"Whatever. She's mad, and she's mad at me, since yesterday"

"What did you do?"

"I did nothing bro, and apparently that's her damn problem!" hissed Finn

Kurt knew that this reason would eventually come into the discussion. Rachel had always dreamed big, and she always pictured herself as living in a fairy tale. All good, but don't choose Finn as your prince, then. Because Finn was the opposite of Rachel when it came to that. He was a really down to earth man, not really into romance and emotions and stuff. He wasn't the one who would do something unexpected or spontaneous just to please or move Rachel. He just wasn't this guy, but then again, Rachel knew that when she married him. Maybe she had hoped to change him, but Finn wasn't really the guy to change or to get tamed. And that drove them both crazy, as each one was trying to get his own way.

"What was it about this time? You, NOT, offering flowers, or you, NOT, buying her jewels for no reason?"

"Me, NOT, wanting to have a kid".

"Well, that's new." Kurt felt really bad for his brother. Especially when he knew that Rachel wasn't the one giving up before getting what she wanted. But this time it wasn't some stupid piece of jewelry, it was a kid. Like something living, that hey had to take care of. Not that he wanted to be bitchy or anything, but Kurt knew that there was no way that Finn could raise a kid so soon. In many ways, he was still a kid.

That really was going to be bad, Kurt could tell. Because Finn didn't want a baby at all, and Rachel had settled her mind on it. There was no way they could get out of this argument without putting a strain on their marriage. Which only comforted Kurt's idea, that if he ever adopted, he should do it alone.

"Yeah. It's all because of Quinn and her damn baby. It's like she had just discovered that babies existed, and that, like a 4 year old , she just wants one. It's not a damn toy, fuck! Sorry, I know you don't like me to swear…"

"It's ok, Finn I know you're under a lot of stress. So you guys talked."

"Yeah, As soon as we got back home from the hospital. I knew it when I saw that look on her face in the hospital. I knew it. Anyway, she started how much she always wanted to be a mom, and raise kids, and all that stuff. And Quinn just made her remember about all that stuff."

"she's not the only one…" mumbled Kurt to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing. So what did you say?"

But Finn didn't get to share his answer when the doorbell rung a second time in fifteen minutes. Rachel, obviously. Finn suddenly started shaking hard. Poor guy was so terrified and anxious, Kurt felt genuinely sorry for him. He felt guilty in some way for opening the door, when he saw the angry look on Rachel's face.

"Where is he? Where is Finn?"

She didn't wait for his answer, and practically shoved him against the wall, while she was trying to get to the living room where her husband was still seating. He had his head on his hands, and didn't look up when she entered. Kurt followed her, frowning.

"Hi back at you, Rachel. It's nice to see u. What do I owe this lovely visit?" sneered Kurt, who took a seat in the armchair, which was on the right side of the couch.

"yeah hi. Don't play bitchy with me. I just wanted to grab my husband, and drag his ass back home, so we can have a normal conversation like two adults." Growled Rachel

"You sure do sound very mature to me!"

"Oh shut up Kurt." She was totally enraged and scary.

"Listen Rachel, Back off with Finn. Give the guy some slack."

"Of course you would say that, he's your brother. On the other hand, me, I'm nothing but your best friend…"

"Seriously? You are seriously taking this road? Grow up Rachel. Maybe you should educate yourself before educating someone else!"

"That's low, Hummel" accused Rachel with fury on her eyes

"I'm merely adjusting myself to fit yours. Now, Please Finn get your psycho out of here."

"Can't buddy, I need your help" moaned Finn, finally meeting his gaze since the Rachel's arrival.

"I'm no freakin' couple counselor!"

"That's not any of his business, Finn.!"

"As much as It hurts, and that I want to rip her head off right now, I agree with Rachel. That's none of my business. It's yours. Go figure it out!"

"I can't. She drives me crazy, she scares me… I can't take straight alone with her…"

"I'm going to ignore the many innuendos that just popped into my head Finn, because that would be way to inappropriate, but I suggest to actually try to talk to her. She's crazy, but she's not going to kill you. How are you supposed to grow as a couple and start a family if you can't even look at her?"

"Hey, I'm right here!"

"We know, Rachel" both sighed in the same time Kurt and Finn, exasperated. Kurt was beginning to think that the wonderful evening that he had planned in his mind would never occur, because let's face it, those two weren't anywhere near leaving.

"Ok, Rachel take a seat. You're going to talk and god help me, I'll be your personal shrink…" Kurt just figured that if he had any chance to actually go to sleep before midnight, he would better get involved and make them start talking, since obviously they were both acting like 2 stubborn kids.

Rachel did as she was told, and took place in an other armchair. This way Kurt was seated in the middle of her and her husband.

"Ok, Guys, I' don't even know why I'm doing that, but let's get to it, before I actually have the urge to murder one of you. Rachel what's your problem?"

"My problem is Finn" Rachel pointed at him with a very angry finger

"Nah, your problem is not Finn. Your problem is that Finn doesn't want, what you want. So what do you want Rachel?" Kurt was using all the restraint and patience that he had left.

"Well, a Baby, Duh!"

"Ok, Rachel, why do you want to have a baby so much?"

"Because I'm 25…"

"Still plenty of time… there is not even a the tick to the tock, babe"

"Because I'm married happily…"

"…Not in the current situation, but please do continue… ". Rachel shot him a murderous glance.

"Because It's the normal next step in our relationship…"

"…buy a plant… if it's still alive in a month, consider a puppy… then if it's still alive 2 months later, then get an other puppy, and then raise their babies…. Then get ride of the puppies, and start a family…"

Both Rachel shook their head in disbelief, Rachel clearly annoyed but Finn was enjoying it. He was amused and a shot a tiny small to Kurt, which made Rachel only madder. But Kurt didn't care, because his primary goal was to make Finn feel better. With that handled, he considered being more serious, because obviously this was a big step in their relationship, a step that could make it or brake it.

"Listen I'm just messin' with you Rachel. But really, all those reasons are so clich�, and I know it's just not yours. So what about you tell me really what's bugging you?"

"Fine! I know you're going to find me desperate or something…"

"We're way passed that, honey" smirked Kurt, but Rachel just ignored him.

"It's Quinn" finally admitted Rachel

"What about Quinn, honey?" asked Finn, confused.

"she gets it all ! She always got it all! She's beautiful, she's gracious, she became so nice that people like her and she not at all annoying any more. She got married, to a freakin English lawyer, and she has a big house, and she has now a freakin baby! She always got it all Finn, even in high school, when she got you!"

Rachel who had been crying during her monologue, looked like she wanted to burry her self six feet under. She felt so embarrassed, Kurt could tell, so she ran to the bathroom to probably wash her face.

"I don't get it… I mean, I'm with you… what…" started Finn who looked totally lost, watching his wife lock herself into the bathroom.

"Ok, Finn, let me narrow it for you. Rachel feels like she's still in some kind of competition with Quinn. It started in high school when they were disputing you, but Rachel never really let it go. She thinks she still has something to prove to her. Thinks that she has to compete with her. Which is stupid, but Rachel knows it. I think in her mind, she never got over the fact that at some point you chose Quinn over her and that she was your first love. That's why she's wants the baby. To prove to you, to herself, maybe that she can give you as much as Quinn could have given you."

Finn's mouth opened slowly during the speech, and when Kurt had finished, his jaw was on the floor with horror. He was feeling so stupid for not having foreseen that, for not trying to secure Rachel and appease her insecurities. Women may be silly sometimes, but men are sillier to just ignore them.

Kurt saw that finally Finn understood. That's all he needed. So he got up, and got out of the room when Finn was still seated, motionless, processing his thoughts.

"Hey Finn, I'm going to bed. Lock the door when you leave. You have your keys right? "

Finn snapped out of his daydreaming long enough to nod. That's all Kurt wanted to know, so he let his brother go back to his considerations, and walked to his room. When he passed by the bathroom, the door suddenly opened, letting Rachel out, eyes red and swollen from all the crying.

"Hey Kurtie…" she said with a small voice

"Hey Rachel. I'm just going to ignore the Kurtie comment, because your eyes look sufficiently like 2 ping-pong balls. On the other hand, like I told Finn, I'm going to sleep, so please shut it down. No heavy make up sex in my apartments. And lock the door on your way out, ok?"

"Ok Kurt… thank you for your help. I know I've been a bitch to you. I'm sorry, you really didn't need that, on top of everything…" started Rachel babbling with no end in sight.

"Stop Rachel" cut her Kurt, "no blood, no harm done. You're welcome for my help though. Now, keep it quite"

"Good night Kurt" Rachel tired a apologetic smile.

"Good night Rachel" Kurt smiled back and even pulled her for a quick hug. Truly, that girl was annoying sometimes, but she had a big heart, and even If her actions didn't always reflected it, but she had the best intention. Plus, she was so sensitive, and even if she acted like a diva, Kurt knew she was just like him : utterly filled with doubts, and self-questioning. He loved her.

He went back to his room, and went to lie on his bed with his clothes still on. He was so tired he couldn't took them away, or take a shower, or anything. He just couldn't move. He didn't had to stay for the end of the conversation between Finn and Rachel. Besides it was too intimate. He knew, that the second Rachel would come back from the bathroom,

Finn would latterly grovel at her feet, and making comments about how beautiful, how talented, how whatever she was that made her a thousands times better than Quinn. He would say that she shouldn't be threaten by Quinn, because he chose her and not Quinn, which had already assured her the victory on whatever stupid competition the two of them had. He would also say that he didn't need a baby to feel like she loved him, because he knew she did. He was just great being with her. And besides they were both so busy with their life that it wouldn't be fair to the kid. And that was just another proof of how Rachel had beaten Quinn because she didn't have a amazing career and job like Rachel's. And Kurt knew the minute that Finn would start about Rachel being a star, and actually making it to the top, when her friend didn't, she would immediately relax and forgive him. She would probably kiss him, and he would kiss her back.

Kurt heard something broke and he knew that he was right. Rachel and Finn were making out, and they were like always, not so cautious.

"Get out of my apartment, now, sluts!" shouted Kurt.

Nobody answered him, but he heard some heavy giggles, something else breaking and finally a door slamming and the sound of locking it.

"Finally!" thought Kurt. That was his final though of the night, as less than 5 minutes later he was deeply asleep, laying on his clothes on the top of his bed, so tired that he couldn't even move to get into the sheets. He was exposed.

**********

The next two days passed in the same blur as the first one. He worked pretty much 12 hours per day, having lunch at the office, and associating with more and more people. It was a good thing though, for Kurt. It kept his mind of unwanted thoughts, and people. Finn and Rachel had made up, which meant a lot of "I'm sorry sex", and Mercedes and Sam were on the post proposal phase, which meant, well, a lot of "we're getting married sex" . In all, Kurt was happy about it, because they left him in peace. He really didn't need any more drama that he was having at work, and thankfully it was, even there, pretty light dram that could get resolved easily. But Kurt still didn't have the time to talk about his speech to Naya. He had figured out by Wednesday, after lunch, that after all, there was no time left, even if he wanted to make alterations and he should just go with it. Of course, it was only then, that he actually got on a hold on Naya, when she called him around 4pm.

"Hey Kurt, you should get out of there, the Gala starts in 3 hours and you should get yourself ready"

"Yeah I know Naya, I am on my way out. God, It has been so long that I haven't moisturized and I'm planning to do that for at least an hour!"

Naya chuckled on the phone. " Good for you Kurt, just don't be late. Do you know your speech?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I have all my memos. But actually I meant to talk to you since Monday about it…. I think…"

"Listen Kurt, It's done. We don't have time to change it. You wanted it this way, so stick with it. I gotta go. I do need also to get ready. See you there at 6:30. Don't be late."

And the line shut down. Kurt sighed. Well, like she said. Let get this show started.

*****

4 hours later, Kurt was on the edge of loosing it. He was going to give his speech any minute now, and he never felt less ready about anything in his life. He had performed in front of a lot of hostile crowds with the new directions, back in the days, but now, it was a whole new thing. It was far more serious, far more engaging. Some of the people that were presents were Kurt's aspirations, and models and he wasn't ready to make a fool of himself in front of them. Especially since he had talked to some of them at the cocktail and they had presented him with their support, and encouragements.

"Damn me", thought Kurt, when he was given the clue to go backstage to get ready for his speech, "Why did I have to be a public figure? Why didn't I just worked with dad at the tire and lube shop? Because you wanted better Kurt, because you dreamed bigger. Well, damn me!"

Naya wasn't making things easier in the making up room: "Listen Kurt, be good. You know who is here tonight. Just stick to your notes, it should be fine. But don't mess it up please, that's your ass and mine on the line. You know that all GLAAD is here and some of those people really make the weather in NY. Good luck, babe".

He would have strangled her. But he didn't let it disperse him. He had to focus, and just be over with it. He tried to reassure himself. After all, he knew his speech, he had his notes, it was nothing to worry about. He was used to crowds. He would just have to picture them as the regular crowd of some glee competition. And then it would all be over. The speech, to be true did bother him a bit, but he kept saying to himself that he couldn't do anything about it now. So really he would just have to man up and go out there. If only… Because just when he was about to go one stage, Naya said to him something that would change the course of the whole evening, and probably more. She had to say it, damn her.

"Courage."

And in the 3 seconds that took him to take his place on the stage, he saw it all. all his life with Blaine in front of his eyes, exactly if he was about to die, and saw his whole life run before his eyes. But now, it was all about Blaine. Until that last electrified touch they had shared. Everything. Even the change, the bad, the breaking. He especially remembered that. And it was it.

His speech changed. Suddenly, it seemed so silly to think about generalities and random actions when you could actually reach people with your own experiences and make a change. When you couldn't share your own struggles. It was silly when you couldn't learn from your own mistakes.

Naya was going to have a heart attack, but he didn't care. His own heart was already damaged and if it meant helping people have courage, then he would gladly talk about those attacks his heart went through.

"Hello ladies and Gentleman, and between." They were some laughs in the audience, which made him relax. "I prepared a nice and love stuffed speech for you, but since like 3 seconds ago, I don't really feel like saying it anymore". He turned to see Naya who was suddenly jumped of shock and looked at him totally panicked. She mouthed to him the words : "what the hell?" but he just ignored her with a smile returning his attention to the audience, who was fully alert now. Some people were smiling, others were slightly anxious, but at least they would be fully attentive now to whatever he would say.

"This really looks like some movie, when the hero suddenly rip off his notes before a parterre of journalists and shock the world with some breaking news, don't you think? But in those kind of movies, the hero is rarely gay. Or lesbian, or bi or trans. Just like in real life. They try to make us stick to the background of the world, leaving the spotlight to what they consider the normal people. To those who have the rights. What rights are we talking about? The right to get married, to have a kid, to have a home, to cede, and concede. Normal rights for normal people. And in the background, the others. The unmoral people that have chosen an other way of living. An other way of thinking. The marginalized. Who have to fight for any kinds of rights. But what the hell are we fighting for? Why do we even try so hard? Why even bother?"

"I' don't know. Maybe there is no definite answer. Maybe we should and we shouldn't.

We should because of our kids. For our kids. It's as simple as that. To help our kids understand. It doesn't matter if our kids are gays, bi, lesbian, trans or straight, they should just get to accept everyone the same way. Just like they accept people who like spinach and people who don't. Just like they've learn to accept that some people prefer to read and other prefer watching TV. It's just what they love doing. They accept people because of what they love, why then wouldn't they be able to accept people because of who they love ? "

"And maybe it matters also because those kids don't learn by themselves. They relate to. They copy. They imitate. Their parents. I know that all the kids do what they do, and chose their activities and passions, regarding to their parents. They want to please them, and be accepted and loved by them. And it's not just about the GLBT kids, but acceptance is a universal goal. I know I did fight for it. I fought to fit in the model I thought my dad had settled for me. I tried to please him, to make him proud by even denying who I was. But my dad had the most amazing words. The words that would change the course of a kid's life that would make him want to forge himself by his own. He said to me that my job was to be who I was and his job was to love me." And that I mattered. It's really the only thing that a kid wants to hear, no matter who or what he loves. That he's allowed to be himself and that he's loved for that. That's why we fight. We fight so parents as well as kids, don't settle into ignorance. We fight to make communication possible."

"But we shouldn't have to. For a lot of reasons. We shouldn't have to fight for normal rights that everyone should have. When we fight and protest for those rights, we say that we are different from other people. And when they refuse or even when they accept or rights, they make the same differentiation. But the thing is, we are not different. In any way. We have just different opinions from the majority, like a opposition party. We should have the same rights to exist, without having to fight for it."

"But the thing is we do. We do have to fight, and we do have to differentiate ourselves, because we are far from being in a perfect world. But that only makes us stronger. We have a voice, we have a reason to believe. And that what's make us Stronger that politics.

Because it's not a way to rise masses to win a race. It's believes shared by people to their core, and it's not a race, it's a walk. Nice and steady. That has no end in sight. Because it will never end. People will still judge not because we are all different. People will still struggle even though they fill proud to be who they are. I still do on a daily biases. And I recently met a friend that was the proudest gay teenager ever. And with the right amount of pressure from his family and the society, all the work that he had done on himself just vanished into thin air. He's living the straight lie and never been more miserable in his life. That's why we cant give up. Because of him. And because of thousands of him, her, and in between. Because even if we don't want to fight, and we don't have to fight, we still need to. Because of those out there who need us, the rising new generation who is searching for its way and for the ancient one who may have lost its own".

*****

And it was over. Kurt didn't remember much of the evening after that. It was all flashes. The whole room in a standing ovation. Naya actually congratulating him and saying that's what she was waiting from him to all that time. The founders of GLAAD reaching out to him afterwards to tell him that they loved his speech and wanted to discuss with him more future involvement with the association. Some authors telling him that it was a really moving speech and they were honored to meet such a nice model for this new generation.

In all, a success. But, once he go home, around 1am, , as the memories of the evening were spinning in his head, all Kurt could think about was Blaine. After all what happened, he was still his never fading inspiration.

*******

Thursday saw Kurt back at the theatre. He was performing for now 3 nights a week, and he thought that it was far more than enough, especially with his other job. He had to keep a fair balance between the two and it was not something easy to do. That day Kurt didn't work because he needed rest and spent pretty much all his day at bed. But he quickly regretted it when came Friday. He realized quickly that he wouldn't be able to cut work all day like that without paying the consequences of it. Everyone needed if for something. Somewhere in his mind, he thought that he should go to work less often just so his co-workers would figure out how to handle issues by themselves, but Kurt couldn't resign himself to do that. Especially that morning, because he had an important meeting he had organized the day before. Something, he had been thinking about since his speech, and that was only amplified by the amazing feedbacks people had given him about it. His phone hadn't stopped ringing all day long only to hear from people he barely knew that they had heard about it, and they wanted to congratulate him. Kurt felt like it was a amazing honor but at the same time it put more pressure on his shoulders. That's why he was pretty tense when he entered the conference room where Leo, Jeff, Leila and Naya were already seated.

" I have a idea, guys"

"Yeah you always do, Kurt. That's why you're still the boss" teased Jeff

Kurt just rolled his eyes and said : "No I have like the best idea ever!

"Yeah, since last week…" smirked Leo

"Not the my fault if I'm a freaking genius. Whatever. The thing is you're going to love it Jeff, since you always wanted us to expend our activities. Leo don't worry, you're going to get a kick out of it, since you bug me on daily biases about new ways of advertising and promoting the brand. Naya, if I tell you that I'm finally subjecting myself to your evil schemes? Yeah, take my soul, and feed it to your politics. And finally Leila, you must be wondering why the hell you're here. Well, you always complaining about staff effectives. How much we need new people because the one we have here are going to have a heart attack before 30. Well, Happy Thanksgiving, start writing your gratitude speech. And well, I kind of like you and value your opinion…."

Leo, Leila, Jeff and Naya, looked dumbfounded by Kurt's speech. They looked at each other for a minute, before Naya finally gave in to her curiosity, for Kurt's pleasure, happy to see the affect the little words had on them. He had a little grin on his face.

"So Kurt, What's this amazing idea that will make me your biggest fan?"

"Well… I haven't figured it out yet exactly…"

"What? It's the best idea ever but you don't really know what that idea is? That's what you are telling me?" asked Jeff

"Kind of…" admitted Kurt

"So just tell us the general idea …" asked Leila

"Well, the thing is, that speech I gave at the GLAAD convention made me think a bit. It really gave me the envy to engage myself a bit more into this whole gay rights combat."

"Told you so!"

"Yeah, yeah, Hey for you Naya! Anyway I want to do something but not in a banal way…"

"When did you ever did anything banal?" smiled Leila

"Thanks, Leila. So the thing is I want to add to the business, a media branch. TV spots, radio emissions but mostly I want to start a magazine."

"Yeah, I like that" acknowledged Leo, "but you know, I don't want to ruin your mood but the thing is there are enough magazines, out there, for the GLBT community. You really do need a new concept, something revolutionary to demark yourself from the rest."

"Yeah but actually I do have some ideas. The magazine wouldn't be simply for the GLBT community, Leo, but it would be a magazine for everyone. I would like it to be a magazine to show that it doesn't matter if you're gay or bi, or trans, we all care about the same things."

"and how do you think you can do that ?" wondered Jeff

"Well, obviously I want every issue to focus on some particular topic. Sure It may involve sometimes the GLBT community but I thought that the first one would be about bullying and the response the parents should provide their kids with. And we would get the participations of several authors, different genders, different sex orientations, it wouldn't matter. Other than that, the other topics would be in the same direction line. I see the sex and romance advices and articles as discussions between straight journalists and gay or bi journalists, in a funny way, but it would show ultimately that we all aspire to he same goals. I see the same for fashion advices, where I would actually want to develop some ideas. And I would like to take some society problems and ask different politic or cultural characters to talk about it. But in a way that those people are not used to. Like ask right wing politicians to give an opinion about a GLBT right that has already been approved, or something like that. I would want eventually show people that it doesn't matter what you are or who you love, we all have the same preoccupations, and even if our thoughts may differ on some stuff, it's just because we are all different and not because of the label people impose us. Yeah, I like that idea of labeling off people. The magazine would be called" Label off. "

Kurt realized that he had been talking too much, lost in own thoughts and enthusiasm. But fortunately it seemed that every one of them had kept up with him, and they were actually quite exited by the idea, or at least, willing to discuss it.

"I like that…" started Leila

"Yeah, the idea is good, but let's not rush into it. We still have to do some brainstorming. And I market study…"

"Jeff, way to kill the mood! We don't your economic theories right now. Just think about the idea, in some abstract general idea, that we have to polish and rub" explained Leo

"I have to say, I'm actually impressed"

"Thanks Naya. Gets to me" said a not so sarcastic Kurt. He was actually very pleased by her reaction, because she was one of the best agents in the city and he was very proud to actually just be represented by her. The fact that she had been pushing him all this time to do something bigger and to commit himself into politics, was a really big part of why he was doing this today. So it meant a lot to him to see that she actually validated his project.

"But like Jeff said, it still needs some Brainstorming." Added Kurt looking at his partners, with a expectant smile "Which is where you start doing your part. I would like to hire some consultants to work on the idea, so here you go Leila. Naya, please I would like to have a event in like a month to launch the idea, and I would like you to help me contact a bunch of influent people that would be interested to invest or to collaborate. Leo, please I would like your team to start a study of the market out there, see how it's done, and above all, what hasn't been done in this area and what can we do. I would like to focus first on the magazine, and then we will see about the other medias. Jeff, you know your job. Can we finance it, at how much, what would it bring to the company and all your crap. "

Everyone nodded, excited by the new project and ready to get to work.

"What are we calling it?" asked Leo.

"If you don't mind, I like the idea of Label' off, Kurt." Said Leila

"Thanks. Ok, lets launch the Label' off rocket !" cheered Jeff

"Dork" chuckled all Leila, Naya and Kurt

The rest of the meeting was quick. They had to review some other normal matters before it Kurt ended it fifteen minutes later, impatient to go home, to take a quick shower before the show.

It had been once again a tiring day at work, even thought he left around 4pm. He had just the time to make a quick detour to the apartment before he would once again return to the theatre. It was only the second week of the show, and he was so exhausted. He had no idea how he would keep the pace much longer, but he felt like if he did it just a month longer, he would eventually break something. But today wasn't' the time to mope around, pine for better times. Especially that he had no rights because he had exactly the two things he always wanted. he would seem really arrogant, even to himself that he would actually complain for having it all. So he suck it, went home to take a quick shower and returned to the theatre around 6pm. Of course there were showers in the theatre, but he needed this time at his place, even if it was for 10 minutes. It was a much-needed break from work and it was really the only moments he was able to enjoy his place. When he got back from the show, he was usually too tired that he went to sleep immediately, some nights without even bothering to take out his clothes. It wasn't much of a life really, but it was the life he had chosen.

That night, after the show, it was around 11 pm when he finally got home. After a long week of work at the design company and 2 nights of shows, he was dog-tired. In those such cases, he knew that he was so worn out that he was way passed the ability to sleep. But he absolutely needed to, if he didn't want to loose it totally. So he ended taking some sleeping pills. He hated that, but he had no choice really.

He was sinking into the couch waiting in front of the TV, waiting for the pills would eventually start to take effect, when a phone call pulled him out his lethargy. It was juts a phone call, like the hundred ones he had received this week. He thought even of not answering it, especially since he didn't recognize the number But then again, something inside him told him to. And he did. He answered the phone call. A phone call that would change everything.

**************

"Kurt?"

"Blaine, is that you?"

"Kurt…"

"Blaine, why are you calling me?"

"Kurt…"

"Oh my go, Blaine, are you crying? What's going on, are you ok?"

"No. Kurt, I'm not. Please I need your help. I need you…"

"What happened Blaine? "