A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I had to write a play for my drama class so I've been spending a lot of time on that and I had a mock AP test and the the real AP test and my grandpa came to visit and we went to DC and then I had tech week of a show I was in and then the real thing and then I went to DC again, and then I went to Hershey Park, so everything has been a little hectic.

Warnings: talk of suicide, talk of rape

-/-

    When Kurt wakes up the first thing he notices is how bright it is. Everything is stark white and he can barely hold open his eyes. The second thing he notices is the ache he feels in his body, especially his wrists. He moves to rub one of them when he notices that he can't. When he turns, he notices his left arm is hooked up to multiple wires. He tries to ignore the sight of needles sticking into his flesh when he notices Blaine. He's sleeping on an uncomfortable-looking chair, probably incredibly exhausted. Kurt takes the time he has now, probably the only time he'll have alone for a while, to examine his arms. The bandages seem almost too pristine for Kurt, knowing what lays underneath.

    Kurt thinks about what he did and why he did it. His worst nightmare had come true. He's still sore from Karofsky's violations and still incredibly terrified it's going to happen again. In fact, Kurt knows it will. There's no way Karofsky will leave him alone now that he knows where Kurt resides and goes to school. A few stray tears collect in Kurt's eyes, but he doesn't let them fall, sick of the pain and of crying.

    He hadn't meant to kill himself… That's probably what everyone thinks, but he really just wanted to feel the relief his blade gives him. But it wasn't enough this time so he went deeper, and that just so happened to be too deep. Kurt hopes Blaine and his family will still look at him the same afterwards. He's not going to be able to live longer if they all hate him for what he's done.

    Kurt looks at the clock next to his bed, the time reading 8 am. He's only been asleep for the night. He knows Blaine must be exhausted, but he also knows a nurse or doctor will probably come in to check on him soon. He doesn't want Blaine to be woken by the bustle of doctors, but he can't bring himself to wake his boyfriend either, too afraid of what Blaine will say to him. Kurt looks at his boyfriend and sighs. He loves Blaine with all his heart, but he just knows that his boyfriend is going to hate him for what he's let Karofsky do to him.

    “Blaine,” Kurt says, loudly, hoping that will wake his boyfriend up. He knows Blaine is a light sleeper, the boy having been woken by many of Kurt's nightmares, but since Kurt can't really move his arms much, he's worried his boyfriend won't wake. “Wake up.”

“Wha-?” Blaine says groggily, waking up. He looks confused at first as to where he is, but then his eyes focus on Kurt and he slumps in his chair defeated. “Hey,” Blaine says, quietly, smiling reassuringly to his boyfriend. Blaine knows he shouldn't smother Kurt now, no matter how much he wants to pull his boyfriend into a huge hug. He settles for reaching out and taking Kurt's hand instead, reveling in the fact that his boyfriend doesn't react negatively to the action. “How do you feel?” Blaine asks. He wants to reprimand Kurt for his actions, ask him why he would attempt such a thing, but he knows that won't help him boyfriend at all.

“Sore,” Kurt says, putting a self-deprecating smile on his face. Blaine frowns slightly, but doesn't say much in reaction. It's when Kurt recognizes the guilty look on Blaine's face that he remembers the argument they had the day before. “I'm sorry… About our fight. I know you were just worried about me, and I overreacted.”

“It's okay… I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have told Trent without asking you first. That was insensitive of me,” Blaine says, hoping his boyfriend will forgive him. He doesn't want Kurt to have to go through the next few weeks alone. Blaine is so incredibly sorry about his argument with Kurt. Maybe if he hadn't left, Kurt wouldn't be here right now.

“It's okay, Blaine… So we're okay?” Kurt asks, needing the reassurance of his boyfriend. Blaine smiles and nods, kissing the back of Kurt's hand. Kurt smiles a little bit, grateful for the distraction of his boyfriend.

“I should go get a nurse,” Blaine says, standing up and fixing his hair and sweatpants a little bit. Kurt nods, not wanting Blaine to leave and not wanting to have to talk to other people, but knowing he has to. After waiting for around five minutes, Blaine walks in with a man who isn't really that questionable, but Kurt doesn't care. He's uncomfortable anyway.

“Hello, Mr. Hummel,” the man says, his voice deep and airy, making Kurt feel even more uncomfortable. He knows it doesn't make sense to be worried about his doctor, for Christ's sake, but he is anyway. “I'm Dr. Miller.” The man, Dr. Miller, holds out a hand for Kurt to shake, but Kurt doesn't move, looking up at him with frightened eyes. Dr. Miller awkwardly moves his hand back down, looking at Kurt sympathetically. “Your father should be here soon. He came yesterday as well, but before I explain to you how we will proceed from here on out, I'd like him to be here as well.”

“M-my dad?” Kurt says, looking timidly up at Blaine, barely even addressing the doctor. Blaine nods, putting his hand over his boyfriend's.

“I called him right after the paramedics got to our dorm. I know you've been trying to hide this from him, but it's something that can't be avoided anymore,” Blaine says, once again sitting in the uncomfortable-looking chair next to Kurt's bed. He looks up at the doctor, who nods at him, averting his eyes to give the two boys some space.

“It could have!” Kurt says, becoming slightly angered. “You didn't need to call the paramedics! I don't need to be here right now. I'd be fine if you'd just left me the fuck alone in there! I don't need any of this!” Tears stream down Kurt's face as he starts attempting to rip the wire out of his arm and pull off the bandages wrapped around his wrist.

“Kurt!” Blaine yells, frantically jumping up and grabbing the IV, stilling the boy's motions. Blaine knows that Kurt is only worried about his father knowing about his self-harm and the assault, but Blaine also knows that he has no choice in the matter. What's done is done and it's for Kurt's own good, even though he doesn't see it that way.

“I'm sorry,” Kurt says, tensing up as tears start flowing out of his eyes. “I'm so sorry.” The boy is sobbing into Blaine's shirt sleeve, big snotty sobs that wrack his entire body. The doctor looks at him worriedly but knows that it will do Kurt no good for him to interrupt. He knows he has to let Kurt get it all out.

“It's not okay, Kurt, I'm not going to tell you that because I know it won't help you, but as long as you work on getting better and never doing that again, it will be okay,” Blaine says, hoping he's reassuring his boyfriend. Kurt nods and sniffles, tears finally ebbing.

As Kurt is settling back into his bed, calmly this time, his father walks through the door. Kurt tenses slightly, gauging his father for what emotions he has about Kurt's situation. Burt looks like he's been crying and his hands are shaking slightly. He looks well beyond his year and probably sleep-deprived, too. Blaine knows he is.

“Dad,” Kurt whispers, nervously glancing at his father. Burt takes off his hat and engulfs his son in a gigantic bear hug, hoping to send all his love through to Kurt.

“Don't you ever scare me like that again. Do you know how worried I was when Blaine called?” Burt says, pulling away from his son. “I didn't… didn't even know you were su-suicidal.”

Kurt shakes his head. “I'm not! I promise… I hadn't meant for it to go this far this time... “ Kurt says, looking down at his bandaged forearms. “I just needed to get away from it all… I couldn't… couldn't deal with K-k-k-”

“You don't have to say it, Kurt. He already knows,” Blaine says, looking sadly at his boyfriend. He'd told the doctors about what he'd suspected about Kurt, that he was bleeding, the history of it happening before, and they'd confirmed after giving Kurt his examination.

The doctor chooses this point to begin speaking to the three people in the room. “We are aware of why you chose to do what you did, Mr. Hummel. Mr. Anderson had expressed deep concern that some form of assault had taken place before you began inflicting wounds upon yourself. After your wounds were taken care of, a rape kit was performed. We now have evidence, biological as well as physical and emotional, evidence that we can use to get the person who did this to you thrown in jail. That is, if you wish to prosecute.” The man glances at Blaine for a second as he says the next sentence. “I've recently been informed by your school's principal that the boy in question was apprehended by your administrators when they found him scuffling with another student, a Sebastian Smythe?”

Kurt tenses as the man is speaking, worrying his lip between his teeth. “He has been apprehended as well. The school knows of your situation with the Karofsky boy and has notified police, but nothing further will happen unless you decide you would like for him to be punished. The school, after having realized that Smythe had let Karofsky know of your whereabouts, is also punishing him accordingly.”

Kurt's tense slowly diminishes as he realizes the threat of danger is no longer upon him. He smiles slightly, relieved at his new realization. He nods, looking at Blaine and squeezing his boyfriend's hand that is resting in his.

“Now, Kurt, even though we understand why you did what you did doesn't mean it was an okay thing to do. We'll have you here for another two days under suicide watch and then you'll have to go to therapy, okay? I know this is hard, Kurt, but you have to try to get better for yourself and for Blaine and for your family. I'll be choosing a therapist I think will help you the most after treating you here and possibly consider moving you to the psych ward,” the doctor says, hoping Kurt understands the seriousness of his actions. After noticing Kurt's terrified expression, the man says, “I don't believe I will have to take such drastic measures, but if you show any more signs of suicidal ideation, I'll have no choice.” Kurt nods and the doctor leaves.

Burt chooses this time to speak to his son about Karofsky. “Kurt… why didn't you tell me this was happening? I could have done something. I would have done anything to get that boy out of that school.”

“He… he told me he'd kill me if I told anyone, dad. I didn't want anything to happen to me, or worse, to you. I was so scared that I'd just stopped talking altogether,” Kurt says, quietly, his voice a little shaky.

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine says, putting his head in his hands. Kurt hopes he's not disappointed in him because if he were, Kurt couldn't live with himself. “Baby, promise me you'll never do something like this again.”

“I… I can't promise that, Blaine,” Kurt replies, turning away from his boyfriend and his father. He's not suicidal or anything, but accidents happen, and Kurt doesn't want to make a promise he knows he might not keep. He could have easily lied and told Blaine that he wouldn't try anything like this, but the thought of lying to his boyfriend just after reconciling with him leaves a churning feeling in his stomach.

Blaine nods, expecting that answer. “Can you promise me that if you ever feel like doing something like that again, you'll tell me?”

Kurt nods. “I promise.”

-/-

    “Hello, Kurt. I'm Dr. Eckenrode, your therapist,” a woman appearing to be in her late thirties introduces herself to Kurt. She smiles at him and offers her hand for him to shake, which he timidly does.

    “Um, hi,” Kurt says, looking around the office. He supposes that it's nicer than he expected. The walls are a nice cream color, something different from the stark white of the hospital he'd been seeing for a day. The couch he's sitting on is rather comfortable, even though Kurt himself is rather tense.

    “Will you tell me why you're here?” Dr. Eckenrode asks, picking up a pen and a clipboard. Kurt doesn't like that he feels like he's being put under a microscope, but he guesses that he won't feel any different until he feels comfortable talking to a therapist.

    “Well, um, I cut myself. I wasn't trying to kill myself; I just went too deep…” Kurt averts his eyes. He wishes Blaine were here. It would be so much easier to talk about these things if he could hear his boyfriend's voice and feel the weight of his hand in his.

    “Why did you cut yourself, Kurt?” Dr. Eckenrode says. Kurt Doesn't she already know this? Kurt knows he has a file. He knows she must have read it before his appointment. Why was she asking him all these questions if she already knew? She must have wanted him to say it himself.

    “I...I was… r-raped,” Kurt says, timidly shying away from Dr. Eckenrode. He looks anywhere but at the woman in front of him. He doesn't want to see her reaction when he tells her how fucked up he is.

    Dr. Eckenrode shuffles papers around on her desk, looking for what she had read on Kurt's file. After finding it, she asks, “Kurt, do you ever have flashbacks?” Dr. Eckenrode knows that this is a problem for many victims of rape and wants to make sure that she can help Kurt as much as she can.

    When Kurt nods, the therapist asks, “And do you ever have nightmares?” When Kurt nods again, Dr. Eckenrode asks, “Would you say you get startled or frightened easily, Kurt?”

    “Not really… well, kind of… I guess I get startled easily by people bigger than me, especially if they're male,” Kurt says, shrugging off the question a little.

    “Okay, Kurt. I think we're done for today. However, I'd like you to come back tomorrow for me to give you a full psychiatric evaluation, okay?” Dr. Eckenrode says. Kurt tenses and nods, hoping that a psychiatric evaluation isn't too emotionally taxing.

-/-

    When Kurt opens the door to his room after his meeting with Dr. Eckenrode he's met with a chorus of “Hi Kurt!”'s. After getting over his initial surprise, he smiles at the various Warblers who have collected in his room.

    “I can get them to leave if you feel like being alone, or if you want to sleep, or if you want to talk about anything, or if you just don't want them here. They just wanted to see you and know how you were so…” Blaine says, walking up to Kurt and taking his boyfriend's hand. Kurt smiles at how his boyfriend rambles a little and then shakes his head.

    “No, this is okay,” he replies, sitting on his bed. “I hadn't expected anyone to come visit me.”

    Blaine ignores Kurt's slightly self-destructive comment and asks, “How was your appointment, Kurt?” Blaine desperately hopes that Kurt's meeting with the psychiatrist went well. Hopefully Kurt could get better with the help of Dr. Eckenrode.

    “It was okay,” Kurt replies. “Dr. Eckenrode is nice enough, I guess. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow for a psychiatric evaluation. I'm kind of nervous about it actually.” Kurt doesn't know what a psychiatric evaluation entails. Is it something one could pass or fail? If so, Kurt hopes he passes. Maybe then he won't have to stay in the hospital for longer than is necessary.

    “You don't have to be nervous, Kurt. We'll all support you, no matter what happens,” Wes says, smiling reassuringly at Kurt. “And, just so you know, Sebastian has been rightfully expelled from the Warblers, and I think they may expel him from Dalton completely. The school doesn't take lightly any kind of bullying, and Sebastian's verbal abuse towards you is enough for them to expel his boarding privileges, if not more.”

    “Thanks, guys,” Kurt says, smiling at his friends. Before today, he hadn't realised the capacity of love he had surrounding him. Kurt was so far into his bubble of anxiety and depression that he hadn't seen the people who had grown to love him at his time at Dalton.

    “We love you, Kurt,” says Trent, smiling at his friend. The rest of the Warblers nod their ascent before a nurse enters telling them that visiting hours are over.

-/-

    PTSD. That's what Dr. Eckenrode tells Kurt he has. At first, Kurt is terrified, but then he's relieved. Not because he has post-traumatic stress disorder, but because he now knows why he feels the way he does. He now knows why his nightmares are reoccurring and he has flashbacks and feels the neverending anxiety he does. Dr. Eckenrode prescribed him an anti-depressant. He's not so enthused about that, but he knows that it will help him get better.

    For the first time in his life, Kurt actually wants to get better.

-/-

    Kurt leaves the hospital that weekend. He still gets a week off of school, so he and his dad and Blaine move some of his stuff to his house. Kurt started on his anti-depressant yesterday, and he knows not to expect results so soon, but he wishes they could just start working automatically.

    Burt had broken up with Carole a few months ago, which helped Kurt to feel comfortable about going back to his house. Without the toxic environment that was created by Carole and her son, Kurt feels a little bit better.

    Kurt is anxious about leaving the hospital, even though that's what he wanted. What if he has a flashback or panic attack and no one is around? At the hospital, even if Blaine or Burt wasn't there, there was always someone to help him calm down when that happened. He doesn't want to be triggered by something and have a flashback when he's all alone.

    He's also nervous about sleeping in his room alone. This week will be the only time since he came to Dalton that he won't be sleeping in the same room as Blaine. What will happen when he has a nightmare? He doesn't want to bother his dad in the middle of the night, but he knows he can't do this alone.

    Kurt pushes his anxieties to the back of his mind as Blaine walks in his house holding a cake. He sets it on the table and smiles at Kurt proudly. Kurt looks at the cake on his table, mildly confused as to why it's there. It has no words on it, instead there's an intricate design of Kurt's favorite musical, Wicked. He smiles at his boyfriend before inquiring as to why Blaine brought a cake to his house.

    “We're celebrating Kurt!” Blaine says giving his boyfriend a hug. “I thought it would be nice to have a little ‘welcome, home, Kurt' celebration because of your return from the hospital. Just the three of us, me, you, and Burt.”

    Kurt smiles at his boyfriend's antics and gives Blaine a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Blaine. I love you. And thank you for the cake.”

    “I love you, too, Kurt,” Blaine replies, smiling lovingly at Kurt.

    Kurt knows that right now is going to be a little difficult, but he also knows that with the help and support of his friends, his dad, and Blaine, he will be able to get through this. Kurt is beginning to view himself more as a survivor than a victim, and he knows that with time, he will no longer let his PTSD get the best of him. He will no longer let Karofsky rule his life. It's his time now.

    Kurt's broken out of his encouraging thoughts when Burt walks into the kitchen, excitedly. “Did I hear something about cake?”

    Both Kurt and Blaine laugh in response before Blaine starts cutting the celebratory cake. Burt walks over next to Blaine and strikes up a conversation with the boy. And looking at this scene, Kurt knows that everything is going to be okay.

-/-

A/N: Again, I am sooooo incredibly sorry for the wait! This chapter was hard to get out as it is. I'm thinking there will just be an epilogue and then it's over. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm so sorry for taking so long!!!! Please, please review!