A/N: You guys are going to hate me for this. I'm sorry. I love you all. HEED MY WARNINGS. If any of them trigger you, please don't read. PLEASE. THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY TRIGGER HEAVY FOR BOTH CUTTING AND RAPE. If either of these topics trigger you, don't read. I care more about your well-being than getting views for my story.

Warnings: self-harm, rape, violence

Please review!

-/-

    The following week passes by rather quickly for Kurt. He hadn't had any nightmares, the first week that has happened in a long time. And Sebastian wasn't actually too bothersome. Kurt knows he should be worried about that, knowing his history with bullying, because that usually means something big is going to happen. But for once, Kurt doesn't let himself dwell on negative thoughts.

    Blaine is taking the SAT this morning. Kurt, who is still enrolled in a course he needed in order to take it and do well, is going to wait until the next round of testing in March. Blaine enlisted Trent to stay with Kurt and keep him busy because he knows how much Kurt hates being alone.

    “Hey, Trent,” Kurt says, allowing the boy to enter his and Blaine's room. “Thanks for coming, I really hate being alone.” Kurt laughs at himself self-deprecatingly. Trent smiles at him before sitting on the boy's bed and pulling out what looks like History homework from his bag.

    “I've been having trouble with question 4. Which one is the serf and what's a vassal? How does feudalism even work again?” Trent asks, confused. Kurt answers him, hoping that Trent understands now, not wanting to have to take forty minutes to explain the concept like he had done for graphing polynomials two months ago.

    The boys spend a while doing Trent's history homework before Kurt has to go to the bathroom. He gets up, excusing himself to relieve himself, but before he can make it to the door, Trent says, “You're not going to… you know.” The boy mimes cutting himself, running his thumb along his wrist. Kurt tenses, pulling his long sleeves down to cover his hands.

    “N-no, I'm not… I just have to- how did you know about that?” Kurt asks, flustered. He hasn't cut in around two weeks, something Blaine was very proud of him for. Blaine wouldn't tell Trent what he does to himself… would he?

    “Oh… um, Blaine told me… I hope that's okay. He was just looking out for you,” Trent says, a little worried that Kurt will be angry. “He, um, he said that you hadn't done it in, like, two weeks? And, um, he was just worried that if you were alone… you'd want to do it… So, he, um, told me…”

    Kurt tries not to show his emotions on his face, but he knows that some of the hurt betrayal is clear. He just nods to Trent, before going to the bathroom, not cutting, and acting like nothing has happened.

-/-

    When Blaine comes back, Kurt immediately tenses. “Hey, babe,” he says, leaning down to give his boyfriend a kiss on the lips, but Kurt turns his head so that Blaine kisses his cheek instead.

    “Hi,” he says coldly, still angry at his boyfriend. Blaine didn't even ask him if it was okay for him to tell Trent; he just went and did it. If he'd asked, Kurt probably would have said it was okay and gone with Blaine to tell Trent himself.

    “Um… okay…” Blaine says, recognizing that Kurt is angry. “How was your day today?” He hopes that Kurt's anger just stemmed from a misunderstanding on his math homework like it had a couple weeks ago. That way he will be able to help comfort his boyfriend and calm him down.

    “I got up to go to the bathroom, and Trent asked me something,” Kurt says, his tone angry and venomous. “Do you know what he asked, Blaine?” Blaine winces at the anger he hears in Kurt's voice, and it's directed towards him.

    “What are you talking about, Kurt?” Blaine asks, genuinely confused. He doesn't know what he did to make Kurt so angry with him. “Look, if I did anything to make you mad, I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose.”

    “He asked me if I was going to the bathroom to cut myself. He told me that you told him,” Kurt says, angrily. He can't believe that Blaine doesn't even know what he did. How could he have thought that Kurt would be comfortable with him telling Trent about his self-harm? Thank god he didn't say anything about anything else, but he easily could have and made the situation even worse.

    Blaine doesn't realize why Kurt is so angry. He understands that what he told Trent was personal, but Kurt and Trent had been getting close as friends. Blaine genuinely thought Kurt would be okay with it. “I'm sorry?” Blaine says, throwing a questioning glance at Kurt.

    “You're sorry? You're sorry? Blaine, do you know how personal that was?” Kurt says, his voice getting louder and tone getting colder. “I didn't even tell you, Blaine. The only reason you found out was because you walked in on me doing it. If I had a choice, no one would know!” Kurt stands up to face Blaine, looking at his boyfriend furiously.

    “If you had a choice, no one would know? Wow, Kurt, I didn't know you had so little trust in me,” Blaine says, slightly hurt. He doesn't know why Kurt has suddenly become this angry. He doesn't know why Kurt is so worked up over just a little thing.

    “Why should I trust you Blaine?” Kurt asks, becoming even more frustrated. “Why should I trust you when you just go hurling one of my biggest secrets around for anyone to hear!” Kurt is screaming at Blaine now, face red, tears forming in his eyes from frustration. He knows he should think rationally about this, but he's just so angry that he can't. “Why would you do something like this, Blaine?”

“I only told him because I was worried about you, Kurt! I know how much you hate being alone, how lonely you feel. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't do something stupid when I was gone,” Blaine doesn't know how to get through to his boyfriend and make him know that he was only doing what he thought would protect Kurt. How was he to know that Kurt didn't want Trent to know about his issue with self-harm?

    “Oh, so now I'm stupid?” Kurt yells, turning away from Blaine. “Yeah, well, I must be, for dating you!” Kurt knows he shouldn't be so harsh, but he can't help himself. He's word vomiting and everything is just coming out and he's not thinking about what he's saying and he can barely register the last words that just came out of his mouth.

    “Yeah, well… maybe you shouldn't be,” Blaine says, quietly, all of the fight leaving his body. He sits down on his bed defeated, drawing out a long, heavy sigh. Blaine loves Kurt, he really does, but not if this is who the boy really is. He can't be with someone like this.

“B-blaine,” Kurt stammers, moving to sit down on Blaine's bed with him. They can sort this out together. He knows they can. Maybe he just overreacted. Yeah, that's it. Kurt overreacts all the time. Nothing that a little communication can't fix. Blaine stops him before Kurt is able to sit on his roommate's bed as Blaine stands up.

“I can't stay here tonight,” Blaine says, moving to his dresser and pulling out two different outfits and his pajamas. “I'll stay in Wes' room or something. We can talk about this tomorrow. Please leave me alone.” Blaine knows that it would probably be better for the two boys to talk it out now, but he also knows that if he lets Kurt explain or tries to explain himself or thinks about their argument, he'll have a hard time not raising his voice at his boyfriend, something he desperately wants to avoid.

Kurt watches Blaine pack up his stuff, helpless and clueless as to what he should do to get his boyfriend to stay. He loves Blaine. Yeah, he may have said some stupid things. Some really stupid things. But the only time Kurt says stupid things is when he's hurt. This situation is easily fixed. “Blaine, please, we can--”

Blaine cuts Kurt off, not wanting to hear his boyfriend's excuses, or pleas to stay. He knows if he listens, he'll be persuaded. “No, Kurt. I need time to think. Please let me be,” Blaine says, before leaving the room.

Kurt feels tears fall from his eyes and sits on his bed, feeling numb. He plops onto his side, curling into a ball, trying to make himself as small as possible. The only sounds that come from his rooms are the despair filled sobs coming from his body. Kurt doesn't know how long he stays like that until he finally cries himself to sleep.

-/-

Kurt is woken up by a loud banging on his door. After seeing that the time is 9:47 pm, Kurt thinks that the only person who could be interested in him not doing their homework and taking showers and doing nightly routines at this time could be Blaine. He quickly rushes to open the door thinking, Blaine is here! He's come back for me!, but at soon as he opens the door he hurries to close it once again. A big, meaty arm blocks the door from fully closing, however, and soon the looming figure of Dave Karofsky is hovering over Kurt like he's fresh meat.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Kurt stammers, eyes wide. He backs away from the bully in front of him, stumbling a little when his knees hit his bed, trapping him there. His heart rate speeds up when Karofsky closes the door with his foot and walks over to Kurt, assessing his prey with hungry eyes.

“That Sebastian guy told me you were talking again,” Karofsky says, smirking a little. Oh, how he missed hearing pretty boy's freakishly girly voice. And how it felt to pound into that tight ass and watch him scream, whether it be in pain or pleasure. Karofsky didn't care.

“S-sebastian told you I was h-here?” Kurt asks, his voice barely a squeak. Kurt knows he sounds pathetic. He feels pathetic, too. But he can't help it, not when his worst nightmare is coming true. Now he really regrets his argument with Blaine. If only he were here right now.

“Yeah, he did. Thanks to him, I can have my favorite freak all to myself again,” Karofsky says, forcefully moving Kurt's head to look at him. “He told me something interesting about you, Kurty.” Karofsky spits the name out like it's poison, and his grip on Kurt's chin tightens almost painfully. Kurt tries getting out of the bigger boy's grasp, but he's just too strong. “He said that you've gotten a boy toy of your own. Did I give you permission to do that?”

Kurt shakes his head, tears falling down his cheeks, looking away from Karofsky and thinking of Blaine. Blaine, his beautiful boyfriend, who would probably be so disappointed if he knew what was happening. Karofsky smirks, enjoying the fact that he can still make Hummel feel small.

“Enough with the talking,” the bigger boy says, slapping Kurt, who just whimpers, across the face. Kurt hears the sound of a jean zipper and notices that Karofsky is already stepping out of his pants. Oh, dear god, please no, Kurt thinks, hoping anyone will come save him. Karofsky pushes Kurt down, forcefully shoving his shoulders.

Kurt is faced with the boy's half-hard erection, and he grimaces, looking up at the football player, silently pleading to not make him do this. Karofsky just smirks, saying, “Suck.” Kurt shakes his head, trying to move as far away from Karofsky as possible. The boy won't have it though, and he pushes Kurt's head forward, shoving his dick in Kurt's face. “I said, suck, you little whore. You know you want to.”

Kurt frowns as he reaches out a hand to touch Karofsky's appendage, flinching when he hears the boy's strangled moan. Karofsky soon becomes impatient with only Kurt's hand grasping his erection, so he shoves the boy's face into his cock. It scrapes against Kurt's teeth at first, making the menacing boy hit Kurt painfully in the back of the head. Kurt whimpers and wraps his lips around the jock's erection, hating the taste of precum and sweat that he finds there.

“Oh, fuck, just like that. I missed you, faggot,” the neanderthal moans, thrusting into Kurt's mouth. Kurt feels big, hot tears roll down his face and knows he must look a mess, covered in tears, sweat, spit, and precum. Kurt keeps sucking, doing it just how he knows Karofsky likes. The boy had made him do this before, of course, but only when he's in a hurry and doesn't have enough time to fuck Kurt. The smaller boy knows he won't be so lucky as to just give a blow job this time.

Karofsky starts ruthlessly thrusting into Kurt's mouth, groaning when he feels his cock hit the back of Kurt's throat, reveling in the choking sounds he hears from the boy. Kurt whimpers, closing his eyes. It's just a dream. Only a bad dream, Kurt, he tries to reassure himself, but he knows that what he's telling himself is false.

Karofsky pulls out of Kurt's ‘fuckhole,' as he calls it, before he can cum, wanting to hold off on that until he's gotten his ultimate prize. “Blaine!” Kurt calls once his mouth is free. His voice is cracking and his throat is hoarse, but he will do anything to stop his torture from continuing. “Blaine, please!”

Karofsky slaps Kurt across the face again, dragging the boy up by the collar of his shirt and throwing him on the bed. “Who's that?” Karofsky says, menacingly. “Your boyfriend?” Kurt nods, about to shout Blaine again when Karofsky punches his square in the nose. Kurt immediately reacts, covering his nose with his hands, looking up at the jock fearfully.

Karofsky pulls of one of his socks before stuffing it in Kurt's mouth, using it as a gag. Kurt can't believe what he's been subjected to. He can smell the filth of his tormentor's feet and cannot believe what is in his mouth. Karofsky looks satisfied with Kurt's state of silence, smirking before hastily pulling of Kurt's clothes.

Kurt starts sobbing even more, moaning through the sock stuffed in his mouth. He hears a rip when Karofsky pulls of his underwear and squirms. Damage to his clothes only makes this situation even worse. Karofsky forcefully pushes Kurt's legs apart, admiring the body he has laying in front of him.

Karofsky smirks again before Kurt feels his erection against his hole. Kurt tries to cry out, ‘No!', but he can't because of the sock in his mouth. Kurt knows that after going this long, Karofsky doing this unprepared is going to hurt like it was the first time all over again.

Karofsky shoves his erection into his unwilling recipient, groaning loudly as Kurt's sock-gag muffles his screams. Kurt feels like his entire world is being split into two. He looks down and sees blood running down onto his sheets, and he painfully whimpers. He wishes he could shout for help, but he knows that even if he did manage to get the gag out of his mouth, Karofsky would hurt him terribly if he shouted for someone.

Karofsky thrusts ruthlessly in and out of Kurt, moaning obscenely . “You're so pretty like this, freak. This is what you were born to do,” Karofsky says, his thrusts getting deeper and faster. Kurt's eyes widen and tears steadily fall down his face.

Please be over soon, please be over soon, please be over soon, Kurt thinks, praying to anything that's out there that his nightmare will soon be over. Karofsky's thrusts soon become staggered and untimely, and he thrusts in extra hard to make sure Kurt remembers him. Kurt whimpers, eyes almost bugging out of his head.

“You're such a good little fuck toy, born to please me and only me, Karofsky says, pulling his dirty, disgusting sock out of Kurt's mouth. Kurt whimpers once again as his sobs turn audible. “Tell Blaine I said hi for me, I'm sure he'll want to know all about how much his boyfriend is a slut” Karofsky whispers terrifyingly into Kurt's ear, pulling on his pants and exiting the room.

The minute Karofsky leaves Kurt is racing to his bathroom, throwing open the door under the sink and grabbing his blades. He slices once on his right arm, loving the relief spreading through him as the blade touches his skin. He cuts more and more, five times, six times, seven, going deeper and deeper and deeper. He doesn't even realize what he's doing, he just knows that he needs to rid himself of Karofsky's scent and cum and the feeling of his meaty hands touching him.

Kurt slices up his right arm, zig zags of gashes going across his wrist and forearms. He moves onto his left arm, slicing like an artist painting a masterpiece, skillfully carving what he wants into his body. He's creating deep gashes in his arms, revealing muscle and fat tissue, but Kurt doesn't care.

He only cares about getting Karofsky's filth out of his body and feeling the relief of his blade. He watches as blood flows out of his arms, smiling cryptically. The last two things he remember seeing before he passes out are the word “slut” written in large, deep gashes across his forearm, and Blaine standing horrified in the doorway to the bathroom.

-/-

When Blaine leaves his and Kurt's room he goes straight to Wes' and David's. He knows they'll probably be busy, but he's just so angry and so upset that he needs to cool down before he talks to Kurt. He hopes that he and Kurt are still in a relationship. He doesn't know if what he said counts as breaking it off, but he sincerely hopes it doesn't. Blaine loves Kurt, and he knows  that Kurt needs him to be strong.

Blaine makes it to Wes and David's room and knocks on the door before entering. He starts pacing back and forth stressfully before David says, “Blaine, what are you doing here?” Wes looks at Blaine with a questioning glance on his face, wanting Blaine to answer that same question.

“Kurt and I got into a huge argument, and I can't go back there tonight. I needed a place to go, so could I just sleep here? I promise I'll try not to be a bother, and I'll sleep on the floor,” Blaine says, hoping his friend's accept. He doesn't know where he'll go if Wes and David say he can't stay the night.

“I'm sorry to hear that, Blaine. You're welcome to stay the night in our room,” Wes says, sitting down on his bed. “May I ask what the fight was about?” Wes wants to know if he can help Blaine sort out his feelings in any way, maybe even find a solution to Kurt and Blaine's little skiff.

“God, it's so stupid,” Blaine says, sitting on the edge of Wes' bed as well and putting his head in his hands. “I told Trent something personal about Kurt, only because I was worried about him. I took my SAT this morning and you know how much Kurt hates being alone. I asked Trent to keep him company and told him something to protect Kurt. Kurt found out and now he's pissed at me.”

“I'm sorry, bro, that must really suck, “David says, changing into his night clothes. “Did he overreact or something?” David isn't always great at giving advice, but sometimes he can be really wise, and he hates it when his friends fight, so he knows he'll try to fix this no matter what.

“I think so. He doesn't,” Blaine says, sounding defeated. “I just don't know what to do. I kind of said something that sounded like I was breaking up with him when I left…” Blaine looks down ashamed at Wes and David's pointed stares.  

“Blaine…” Wes sighs at his friend's stupidity. “You love Kurt, right?” Blaine nods, looking up sadly at his two friends. “Then you shouldn't let something small like this break you two up. I understand it can be difficult sometimes, especially with Kurt's issues. I don't know about them, but you do, and I know that sometimes that can be hard to handle. You just have to be patient, okay?” Blaine nods, showing his understanding.

“Go get your man back,” David says, smiling at Blaine. He knows he didn't say much, but he's glad that Blaine seems less beaten down as he did when he first entered the room. Blaine does feel a lot better about his and Kurt's argument. He'll go back to their dorm and apologize to Kurt because he knows that he probably shouldn't have told Trent about his cutting issues without his consent. And then Kurt will apologize as well for getting so angry when he knows Blaine was just trying to look out for his well-being.

Before Blaine can reach his and Kurt's dorm, however, he runs into a familiar meerkat faced  boy. “Sebastian,” Blaine scowls, spitting out the word, throwing as much hatred into it as he does when he speaks about Westboro Baptist Church in his current events class.

“Blaine,” Sebastian says with a smug look on his face. “You'll never guess who I met at Scandals the other day. You know, the rinky dink gay bar down in Lima? Well, anyway, I had a very interesting run-in with someone who knew our dear Kurty!” Blaine tenses, knowing that could either be extremely good or extremely terrible. “He seemed very interested in Kurt, said they had a little history, if you know what I mean. Seems like Kurt was a little minx back in his public school days.” Sebastian laughs, smirking as Blaine's face pales to a pasty white, all the color draining from his face.

“What was his name?” Blaine asks Sebastian through gritted teeth. When Sebastian just laughs and shakes his head, Blaine grows angry and frustrated. “Damn it, Sebastian, what was his fucking name?!”

“Jeez, okay, calm down,” Sebastian says, still laughing at getting a rise out of Blaine. “I think his name was… Karnowski or something like that?” Sebastian frowns at the worried expression Blaine's face turns to.

“Karofsky!?” Blaine almost yells, getting in Sebastian's face. When the meerkat teen nods, Blaine starts sprinting to his and Kurt's room, hoping the boy he loves is safe.

When Blaine makes it to his and Kurt's room he's terrified to find that Kurt is not in the living area. “Kurt!” He exclaims, hoping he'll get a response from the boy. He walked over to the bathroom and yells out, horrified by what he finds. Kurt is lying on the floor of the bathroom, almost unconscious, deep, deep gashes strewn about his wrists. He's naked, another thing that worries Blaine, and the boy can see the dried blood between Kurt's legs.

“Fuck!” Blaine yells when he connects what that means. He feels incredibly guilty for leaving Kurt but knows now is not the time to dwell on thoughts like that. “Kurt, Kurt baby, please, keep your eyes open for me,” he says trying to stay calm and rational. He almost starts freaking out once again when he realizes Kurt has already passed out and he reads the word written across Kurt's wrist, formed by the gashes Kurt has inflicted upon himself. Kurt is not a slut and it pains Blaine to know that Kurt thinks of himself in that way.

He picks Kurt's top half up into his lap, trying to elevate his forearms and wrists so that the bleeding is minimal. He grabs two towels from below the sink (noticing the stashed blades as he does, goddammit) and wraps them tightly around Kurt's wrists, hoping that will be enough.

He picks up his cell phone quickly dialing the emergency number. “Help, please, I need an ambulance!” Blaine yells into the phone when the operator picks up. Blaine is desperately clinging to Kurt, hoping his boyfriend will pull out of this.

“Okay, calm down sir, where are you?” The woman on the other end says, ready to send and ambulance to help Blaine.

    “I'm a student at Dalton Academy in Westerville. Please, hurry, my boyfriend slit his wrists. He tried to kill himself,” Blaine says, urgently, tears starting to flow steadily down his face. He hears the phone operator gasp and almost throws his own phone in frustration.

“An ambulance is on it's way. Hang in there, sweetie, do you need me to stay on the line with you?” The operator asks, but Blaine is already hanging up, crying into Kurt's unconscious form. Why did they have to get into that stupid argument? Why did Blaine have to decide to leave? Why did Sebastian have to tell Karofsky where Kurt was?

“Fuck, Kurt, please hang in there,” Blaine says, noticing Kurt's breathing slowing. “You can do it, Kurt, please wake up. Wake up… for me. I'm so sorry, Kurt. I'm so sorry. Please be okay. Please wake up. I love you.”

-/-

A/N: I'M SORRY! There will only be a few chapters after this one (I'm thinking 2-3 more, but I'm not sure.) If any of you are in a situation like Kurt's, please do not self-harm. Talk to someone. Please. I can not stress how important it is that you do that.

Please review! I cannot live without feedback from you guys!