Kurt's POV:

"Ooh, Blaine! Look at that scarf!" I say, pointing into a nearby store. I had gotten out of the hospital earlier in the day, and Blaine took me to the mall to get my mind off things. We had shopped in most of the women's clothing stores to get me new pants... for obvious reasons.

I haven't gotten the chance to cut and my wrists, stomach, and thighs are burning with the loonging for it. I'm practically aching for the release of a blade on my skin. After my nightmare last night, I had dreamt of glass, knives, razors cutting, slicing, breaking through skin. Breaking through all of my problems, all of my weaknesses. The blades fed me strength, courage. I dreamt of my thick, red blood staining my pale complexion. I dreamt of Blaine and my dad encouraging me to cut. Oh, what a wonderful dream it was. Too bad dreams never come true.

After buying the scarf, Blaine and I go to the food court. We go to the healthiest of our choices and get a sandwich to share. JUst as we sit down, I hear familiar laughter. I look up to see Azimio and his band of neanderthals. I sink down low in my seat.

"Just ignore them," Blaine says, looking over cautiously. Now that I've noticed Azimio, I notice everything else around me. I see the hesitant glances, hear the whispers. 'That's the boy who was raped.' 'Oh, that poor child.' 'Filthy faggots.' I try to ignore them, as well.

"Aw, man, look who we have here! If it isn't lady-faced Hummel and his boyfriend?" Says one of the neanderthals. The group walks up to me and Blaine, and I look down.

"Hey, slut," A different one says to me. I feel tears spring to my eyes, and look up. Damn, I need to cut. "Aw, is the little faggot gonna cry?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Blaine says, angrily. "What is your problem?"

"Well, your faggy ass boyfriend raped Karofsky!" The boy replies. I gasp and the tears start falling. Blaine jumps up in anger.

"WHAT?!" He shouts. I pull him back down into his seat. The last thing I need is for Blaine to get into a fight because of me and get hurt.

"You can't believe that this whore didn't want it! Karofsky's the straightest guy I know. I just think you framed him for it, you filthy rapist!" A third neanderthal says to me. I'm trying to stop crying, but I can't. I need to cut. It's the only thing that will give mehappiness now. Or ever. All of the neanderthals are taunting me now, calling me slut, bitch, whore, flirt, lady-boy, fag, anything.

"Guys, stop. You weren't there when Karofsky was arrested. I was. Kurt didn't want what he was getting," Surprisingly, Azimio is the one who defends me. The urge to cut is still there, but I crying and look up at him. He's looking at me like I'm some, some superhero or something. God, I wish I was. Then I could have stopped Karofsky, and none of this shit would have ever happened. But I guess Karofsky did make me realize something-he made me realize how disgusting I am. He made me realize that I'm holding Blaine back. He made me realize how slutty I can be, how whorish, flirty, and worthless I am. He gave me cutting, the only joy the world has to offer me anymore.

"What the hell, man?" A neanderthal asks. "You've gone soft! C'mon guys, let's leave Azimio and his lady friends." The neanderthals leave. Now, all I want to do is go home and cut, to open my skin to the relief of the blade.

"Kurt, Blaine. I'm really sorry. For everything. I promise that I'll protect both of you from those assholes in school," Azimio says.

"Th-thanks," I say and practically run out to my car. I hear Blaine yelling after me, but all I can focus on is the burning in my skin. I need to cut, and the faster I get to my car, the faster I can do that. Blaine gets to my Navigator and drives us home.

Before Blaine steps out of the car, he turns to me. "Honey-"

The urge to cut is the strongest yet. I don't wait for Blaine to finish talking. I unlock the car door and run into my house. I race to my en suite and look through my drawers. The closest weapon of relief I find is a razor. I pull up my sleeves and cut. Ahhh. I feel the relief course through me. As I cut, I punish myself for what I am. Cut. Fag. Cut. Rapist. Cut. Lady Boy. Cut. Slut. Cut. Lady-faced. Cut. Whore. Cut. Cheater. Cut. Flirt. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. By the time I hear banging on my door and the sound of Blaine and my dad's frantic voices, I have a multitude of cuts on my wrists, thighs, and stomach. I don't stop even though I have limited time. I cut and cut and cut. I make sure all of the cuts are shallow, but deep enough that I can see the glory of my blood. Ah, the joy of the crimson liquid. Just to feel it against my skin is like the feeling of waking up after a million year sleep. My blood flows freely as I cut, and it gives me glorious relief.

I let the tears flow freely as I cut, too. I cry over Karofsky. I cry over those neanderthals. I cry because I hold Blaine back. Because I don't deserve him. God, I'm so fucking weak.

And then the door is opening and the razor is being forced out of my hand. "No! NO! I NEED THAT!" I scream as Blaine picks me up and goes into the kitchen. He puts me down and tries to see what I've done to myself. I push against him, trying to get back up to my room. Blaine tries to hold me back, but I break through his arms and race halfway up the stairs before I get held back again, this time by my dad. "No! LET ME GO! Dad, you don't understand! I NEED TO CUT!" I yell. I hit his chest multiple times, but he doesn't let me down. He puts my wrists under running water in the kitchen sink. I stop fighting back as Blaine takes a wet cloth and starts tending to the wounds on my stomach. He doesn't pull my underwear down, thankfully, even though there's still blood dripping down my legs.

I see Finn and Carole standing in the doorway. Carole looks concerned while Finn looks shocked and kind of scared. "Honey, are you okay?" Carole asks, walking over to me.

"Do I look like I'm okay, Carole?" I snap at her. She visibly recoils from me. "My whole life os falling apart! I was raped, no one cares about me, neanderthals think I did it, and now you won't let me cut!" The tears start falling again as Blaine and my dad wrap my stomach and wrists. "God, Carole, I'm s-sorry. I'm so fucking weak. I m-mean, the only thing t-that makes me feel b-better is to fucking hurt myself! I'm justa stupid, slutty, f-faggot. I did deserve to be r-raped." Carole and Blaine both start crying as I break down.

Finn walks in and envelopes me in a hug. "Oh, Kurt. You're the strongest person I've ever met. You are so amazing, Kurt! I mean, you survived being bullied for so long and being raped, for Christ's sake! And you're not stupid either. You just need to get back up on your feet. And you are definitely not a slut. You love Blaine, your only boyfriend, and you haven't even lost your virginity yet! And, no, being raped doesn't mean anything, Kurt. And I don't want to hear you call yourself a f-faggot ever again, Kurt. You are amazing and wonderful. I love you. And so do Burt, Carole, and especially Blaine."

"Th-thanks, Finn," I say, hugging all of them. "I'm sorry, guys." For being so stupid and weak.

"Well, I'm going to go call your therapist. Your first session is on Tuesday. But, first, I'm going to remove all of the sharp objects from your room," My dad says.

After the cutting debacle, the evening was docile. We had a nice, semi-awkward and pitiful family dinner, and now Blaine and I are getting ready for bed. I walk into my bathroom to do my skin regime. I notice a hand mirror on my sink counter. Hmm. I'll need something to cut with. I broke the first mirror to cut the first time.

I turn on the sink to muffle the sound of breaking glass and then pick up the mirror. And throw it on the ground. It shatters into peices the perfect size for cutting. I throw most away, but save a few for later, when I need to cut.