“You’re just exaggerating, it’s really not that bad,” Mercedes retorted, continuing to rifle through papers in search of her French textbook.

“But I’m not…” Kurt’s thoughts ran away from him as he watched a couple interacting at a locker a ways down the hallway. They were positioned nearly identically to himself and Mercedes, but the boy literally could not take his eyes off the girls. She turned to look at him, and he swiftly reached up to brush the hair out of her eyes. He grabbed her textbooks overflowing in her arms and she closed the door and twisted the lock, and the two joined hands as they went on about their day.

“It’s just one couple, Kurt. I really don’t see the big deal. Kevin and Alison have been dating for years.”

Kurt stopped, trying to wrap his head around the myriad of thoughts flying around his head, hoping to pinpoint the emotion that was currently overcoming him.

Mercedes glanced again at her best friend, who was currently zoning out, his eyes trained on the couple’s retreating figure. She was clearly not going to be able to give him a boyfriend in the two minutes before their next class. “There’s no need to be jealous,” Mercedes started, touching Kurt lightly on the arm, “I promise you Kurt- your time will come. Don’t think about it too much.” She gave him a light smile and turned on the spot, heading off towards French and leaving Kurt on his own.

“But that’s the thing, I do think about it too much,” Kurt thought. Every time he saw a couple, all of those little things they did would stand out to him. The little touches, cute date outings, and small gestures he witnessed on a daily basis seemed to be slapping him in the face, taunting him with something he would never have. He was just another hopeless romantic who would probably end up with a million cats.

Somehow, his feet had mechanically carried him to his next class, and Kurt slumped down into his seat, throwing his bookbag aimlessly onto the floor next to his chair without the usual care he took to preserve the expensive item. He pulled his phone from his back pocket after sitting down a little too hard onto it, unlocking it and moving on autopilot until the phone opened to a note he had previously been working on. It was a list of movies he wanted to see.

“If I can have goals about movies, why can’t I have them about love?” The thought was too intriguing to ignore.
Quickly opening up a new note, hoping to jot down a few ideas before class started, Kurt began typing. By the time class started, the list had 8 points, 8 little moments that he wanted to be able to share with his significant other. He smiled scrolling over them, just imaging how blissful and happy he would feel if he had any, if not all, of these things.

To Kurt’s surprise, someday he would have them all. And it would be the most effortless and perfect experience he would ever know.

******************

“Ugh, couples.” Blaine threw his face into his best friend Wes’s elbow. The pair were sitting in a booth in the Westerville Community Mall, and even the brownie sundae that was currently being devoured by the two boys couldn’t keep Blaine’s eyes from examining the people around him. “Can’t they just like, go away? We all don’t want to see their disgusting ways.”

“Oh, would you shut up and eat your stupid ice cream,” Wes whined, smacking his head to try and get his spoon arm back.

“You seem to have no problem eating it by yourself. Maybe it was meant to be. You get the ice cream and I get the misery.” Blaine chuckled at how pathetic he sounded right now. He wasn’t quite sure where this mood had come from, but it had hit him full force.

“Dude,” Wes turned to face him. “Snap out of it. These people are probably all stupid. Better yet, they’re all ugly. Your life is ten times better than theirs.”
“But, it isn’t.” Blaine sighed. He wanted to walk hand in hand through the food court like the couple to his left. He wanted to carry his boyfriend’s shopping bags like the couple over by McDonald’s. He wanted to play footsies underneath the table like the couple at the table a few over from theirs. He wanted and wanted and wanted, but life seemed to be coming up short for him.

“Alright, enough of this pity party.” Wes stood up; apparently he had finished the ice cream at some point during Blaine’s internal musing. “We’re out of here if you’re going to sit in misery. You’re not going to wallow in this all afternoon. It’s time to buy posters of naked girls instead.” Wes jumped out of the booth with a grin and strutted towards the crash can across the cafeteria.
Another sigh wracked through Blaine, seemingly the only function his body knew how to do these days. He swiped his phone unlocked, and was encountered with a to-do list. These items seemed like so much work, just like his current efforts to have a relationship. There was so much Blaine wanted to experience, and he wanted nothing more than to have someone by his side to accompany him for all of those perfect little moments.

The idea hit him at once, and seeing that Wes was making his way back, Blaine quickly opened up another to-do list on his phone, throwing down some ideas that were dancing through his head. By the time Wes had returned to the table and shook it like a six year old to alert Blaine that he was ready to move on, Blaine had 8 bullets on his list. 8 things, albeit small and seemingly unimportant, that he dreamed of sharing with someone that he loved, feeling the completeness and joy that they would bring them if any of them, or even all of them, ever happened to come true.

To Blaine’s surprise, someday he would have them all. And it would be the most effortless and perfect experience he would ever know.