* * * * *

Burt is staring at them from his side of the couch, face changing from angry to disappointed to just plain confused. Blaine's hand is draped awkwardly over Kurt's thigh and their fingers are interlaced, knees touching slightly.

“So you two are...”

“Dating,” Kurt and Blaine say together, the discomfort plain in their voices.

“Since when?”

Kurt glances at Blaine and looks away quickly, realizing he should probably know this without looking. “Um, a week.”

“A week,” Burt repeats flatly.

“Yeah. It's why I didn't show up yesterday,” Kurt explains. “I was spending time--”

“And when did you meet again?” Burt cuts in.

“A GAP,” Blaine answers quietly. “I think we talked after that, Mr Hummel.”

“Yeah, I recall throwing you out.” Burt has changed back to cold, possessive father. “I didn't want you messin' with my son and clearly you went against that.”

“Dad, come on. That was a year ago; I have the right to befriend anyone I want.” Kurt's fingers shake angrily and Blaine instinctively clasps them tighter.

“And go out with complete strangers?”

“Dad! Blaine's not a stranger. What kind of difference does it make anyway, we're dating now and he's taking care of me.”

“How can I trust some random guy I've never met to take care of my son?”

“Maybe if you tried talking to him you could see how responsible he is.”

This leaves Burt thinking, his pudgy hands fingering his baseball cap while his brow wrinkles in a frown. “So, you two are in love.”

“Yeah,” they repeat in the same edgy tone.

“And you're watchin' out for him?” Burt raises an eyebrow at Blaine while pointing at Kurt.

“I promise I will, Mr Hummel,” Blaine says convincingly.

“Then for now, I'm okay with this.”

Kurt's mouth drops open. “Wait, what? You're fine with... us?” He makes a wild gesture between the two and Blaine turns his head to keep from laughing.

“At least for a while, yeah,” his father says, a smile hinting at his lips. “But rest assured we'll be having some talks after tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Kurt murmurs in a happy daze. He didn't expect to be let off so quickly.

“You can go to your room now and do... whatever. Stay clean. I have to talk to Carole.”

They thank him and walk upstairs together, holding hands for good measure. The second Kurt closes the door behind him, Blaine slumps to the ground and starts laughing. “That was the most awkward conversation I've had in my life.”

Kurt agrees quietly and leans against the frame. “It worked though. I have an alibi and we can actually hang now.”

“Until we break up.” Blaine makes air quotes from where he's sprawled on the floor.

“Yeah, but let's cross that bridge when we get there.”

Kurt pulls Blaine to the bed where they sit in silence, wondering how they got into this mess. It's probably for the better, Kurt decides. Now I don't have to hide Blaine anymore and my dad can stop worrying about my protection. We'll just have to convince him that Blaine's the most protective guy in the world.

Kurt smiles as he realizes that Blaine is the most protective guy, just not in a boyfriend kind of way.

Stairs creak suddenly and Blaine practically flies into Kurt's lap, hooking his leg around Kurt's ankles. “What are you doing?” Kurt hisses and tries to push him away, but Blaine catches his hands and whispers, “It'll be more realistic if it looks like we can't keep our hands off each other.”

The door opens and Carole barges in with a massive smile. “Sorry boys! Hope I'm not interrupting anything.” She winks and pulls over a chair to sit opposite the bed.

“Is something wrong?” Kurt asks, finally pushing Blaine's legs away. “I hope dad isn't mad or anything.”

“He'll be fine,” Carole says, dismissing her husband by flicking her hand. “Though I'm curious about you two.” She scoots closer and Blaine and Kurt instantly shift back. “Young man, can I trust you with this delicate boy right here?” Kurt blushes as she points at him. Why did everyone feel the need to protect his delicate ass all the time?

Blaine laughs. “You sure can, Ms H.”

“Then let me give you this piece of advice: Don't rush things. You can make out all you want, but don't go any further than you have to. Now tell me, have you tried... anything other than kissing so far?”

“Carole!” Kurt doesn't have to act his discomfort. He genuinely wants to crawl into a corner and melt into the ground.

“I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable, sweetie, but these things need to be taken care of.” She gives him an apologetic smile and turns back to Blaine. “So, what's the dish?”

“We... stick to kissing.” Blaine pauses and smiles. “Don't worry, your step-son's in good hands.”

“That's all I needed to know.” She pushes back the chair, heads for the door and hesitates before opening it, turning around and whispering pleadingly, “One kiss, for your step-mom?”

Kurt blushes furiously and puts up his hands. “No! No no no no no, sorry Carole, but that's just too far.”

“One kiss.”

“Carole!”

She pouts, but then her face lights up and Kurt's about to ask why when he feels a hand turn his chin. He doesn't have time to react; Blaine just swoops in and presses his mouth smack to Kurt's, his lips parting and brushing and breathing hot air over their faces before drawing away, leaving Kurt dizzy and his mind reeling.

What the fuck just happened?

“That... was very cute.” Carole touches her heart and blinks away a tear. “I wish you two all the best.” She throws them one more wink and another look of pure adoration before finally shutting the door and leaving the room back in silence.

It only takes a second for Kurt to jump on his feet and hurl Blaine at the wall. “What the actual fuck was that?!”

* * * * *

Blaine holds up his arms as if to say Hey, it wasn't my fault! but the gesture is useless because Kurt's slamming him into the wall and he has to defend himself somehow. Seizing Kurt's wrists, he pushes them away and runs to the center of the room. Kurt whips around and fixes him with a glare, hands curled as though he might leap forward and punch him any second.

“It was for Carole!” Blaine says quickly, out of breath. “She wanted a kiss.”

“Yeah, but as best friends pretending to be boyfriends we don't normally do that.”

“I'm sorry Kurt, but I did it.”

“Then don't fucking do it again!” Kurt yells.

Blaine tries to hide the pain, but it must have flashed in his eyes because realization registers on Kurt's face.

“I'm sorry, B. I didn't mean to lash out.” He uncurls his fists and walks over, pulling him into a tight hug. “It just took me by surprise.”

“We're in a mess,” Blaine mumbles against Kurt's shoulder.

“Yeah.”

But Blaine knows they don't mean the same mess and it breaks his heart. Kurt thinks the problem is simple; he has created a temporary alibi and doesn't know how to convert back to the truth. Of course Blaine cares, but his focus is pulled to this voice in his head that won't shut up and he can't ignore it any longer.

Because it keeps telling him to kiss his best friend again.

“Maybe we should go down right now and admit this isn't working,” Kurt says quietly.

Blaine inhales Kurt's scent deeply and pulls away. You're smelling your best friend. What's wrong with you? “That won't work, you father will kick me out again and I'll never be allowed here ever. We need to make this seem realistic to the point where your dad likes me, then we'll have a healthy break-up and stay friends or something.”

“Which is very realistic.”

“Shut up.”

Kurt smiles and puts his hands on his hips. “You do realize what this means, don't you? You'll have to stay and eat dinner. Finn will come.”

Blaine snorts. “The clumso-saurus? Please, I'm not scared.”

“Well, then...” Kurt trails off, looking around his room. “Should we practice?”

Blaine's heart jumps painfully before his mind catches up and he realizes what Kurt actually means. “As in, get our stories straight?”

Kurt nods and for half an hour they just sit there and carve out the details of their “relationship”. Blaine's listening with one ear, focusing the remnants of his sanity on calming his feelings and working out what the hell is happening.

He kissed Kurt because his heart told him to, because Carole had asked and to be honest it just felt normal for a couple to give each other pecks in front of their parents. But there was something else – a tiny fraction of his brain had wanted to kiss him, had wondered what his best friend's lips taste like and whether they smell of roses or chapstick or beer or whatever. It was silly, but Blaine didn't think it was dangerous – he wasn't crushing or being uncomfortable. He was Blaine and Kurt was Kurt. They were best friends. Simple as that.

But there is that voice again, lodged deep within Blaine's mind.

Stop kidding yourself. This best friend of yours is more than just that. You want to kiss him again. Admit it.

And with the mental strength of a Guru master, Blaine pushes away the voice once and for all.

Or so he hopes.

* * * * *

Kurt's mind is still trying to wrap itself around the absurdity of the situation as he pulls Blaine to the neatly-set dinner table. Seems Carole has been busy; the mouth-watering smell of grilled chicken hangs heavy in the air.

“God bless your family,” Blaine whispers behind him.

“Just you wait. My dad will be interrogating us the entire goddamn evening,” Kurt grumbles.

They sit down and as Burt joins them, the key turns and Finn walks through the door. “Hey gu- oh. Who's that?” His eyebrows arch and he throws his letterman jacket aside, giving Blaine a disapproving look.

“That's Kurt's new boyfriend,” Burt says meaningfully. “Now sit down, we've got a lot to talk about.”

Finn's mouth opens and closes, like a football-playing fish who has been frozen to land and doesn't know how to breathe.

“I said sit down.”

Finn snaps up and struts to the table. Kurt glances at Blaine, who's clearly soaking up and enjoying every second. He remembers Finn's initial reaction to Blaine and his natural good looks, the jealousy and inexplicable hate directed towards the boy with fashion sense, two right feet, a thrumming and captivating voice and a normal-looking torso. All things Finn wishes he could have.

“I think I remember you,” Finn says bluntly as he sits down. “You're that kid who--”

“Dinner time!” Carole's sing-song voice cuts Finn off and Kurt is actually disappointed that he'll never find out what kind of kid Blaine is.

But then the chicken's on the table and his mouth is actually watering.

“Bon appetite,” Carole trills and everyone starts spooning chicken on their plates.

“So tell me,” Burt says the second his fork connects with the meat. “How did this” – he gestures to Kurt and Blaine – ”happen?”

“We met a GAP,” Kurt repeats tiredly. “Became friends. You kicked him out. We split, then met again a couple of weeks ago. Sat down for coffee.”

“I realized how much I missed him after our little GAP talks,” Blaine says. “I did think about him a lot.”

Finn narrows his eyes and glares directly at Blaine. “Did you ever follow Kurt home or something?”

“I'm not a stalker,” Blaine replies calmly.

“What school do you go to?”

“Dalton.”

“Are you in a Glee club?”

“No.”

“But you can sing.”

“Is that a question?”

Finn shoots him another ridiculous glare. “Yes.”

“Well, yes.”

Flushed, Finn directs his attention back to the chicken, furiously forking up meat. Kurt throws Blaine a grateful glance and to his surprise, Blaine is smiling. He's enjoying this!

“So Blaine,” Carole says. “What about your parents? Are they in town?”

“Actually no.” Kurt cringes at the the disappointment in Blaine's voice. He wouldn't have told his parents either way, but Kurt imagines it would still be nice to have the option. “They're on separate business trips. My brother's the one taking care of me.” Kurt knows this is a lie. Cooper Anderson is probably chasing celebrities in L.A. right now, desperately pursuing his dream of fame. The maids are the only people left taking care of him, and Blaine hates it.

Below the sheets of the table, Kurt's hand snakes out to wrap around Blaine's in a comforting gesture. His friend clamps down on it and squeezes once, twice.

“Well, that sucks,” Burt says brusquely.

“Oh sweetie, then you have to stay here!” Carole's tone changes from sad to excited. “You two can have a sleepover! You can call your brother from our phone.”

Burt drops his fork on the plate with a loud clatter and Finn chokes on his juice. Blaine squirms uncomfortably and glances at Kurt, who just shrugs because well, once Carole sets her mind to something, there's no changing it.

“It's decided then. Sleepover.” Carole arranges her cutlery as an act of finality and gets up to collect the other plates.

Burt opens his mouth to object, but Carole silences him with a look. “Blaine is a Dalton student for a reason, I'm sure his parents aren't the poor folk. I can't stand business-men.” She points a spoon at her husband. “The least we could do is show some hospitality after how you treated him last time. ”

She whips around and stomps to the kitchen, leaving behind a blushing Burt and an uncomfortable-looking Finn. “I'll... uh... go to my room.” He looks from Burt to Blaine, then shakes his head and shuffles to the hallway.

“Thanks for letting me stay.” Blaine's voice sounds hollow and mechanic. “I really appreciate it.”

Concerned, Kurt tugs at his sleeve and leads him from the table. “We'll go up as well,” he says over his shoulder.

As they climb the stairs, Kurt catches sight of Blaine's face. He looks reserved, his eyes wide and unblinking.

Weird, Kurt thinks. We've had tons of sleepovers before.

He pulls open the door and a thought pops up in his mind.

Compared to the countless other times we've done this, what's so different now?