Kurt filed the joyful letter from regionals away as he reached for the next. This one wasn’t even a letter. It was simply the card from a bouquet of red roses. Blaine may not have sent a letter for their anniversary, but he certainly didn’t forget it. Besides the customary Skype date, there’d been a bouquet of a full dozen roses delivered to the front desk of Kurt’s dorm for him. The roses had since wilted, but Kurt had added the card to his memory box. He paused for a moment between letters to read it. “Two years has felt like a moment and a lifetime. I love you more and more everyday, and I look forward to many more anniversaries to come.”

Kurt ran his fingers lightly over the two sentences on the small card and then reached out to trade it for the next letter. He left the papers behind it inside the box, wincing as he remembered what was coming. Kurt had considered before skipping this letter, but he never had. Sometimes between joys in life there as was frustration and there was pain. Without the lows, how would we really appreciate the highs?

This was also one of the last letters, almost to the end of the box. Reading it gave Kurt hte chance to prolong the experience just that little bit more.

Kurt,

Happy Easter from one non-religious person to another. That really means that we’re celebrating bunnies laying chocolate eggs, right? In honor of our version of Easter, I am including in this package the best examples of that I could find. Yes, that means that along with this letter, I’m sending you both regular Cadbury eggs and the caramel version. Please don’t complain over Skype when you get this that I’m sending you foods to fatten you up. You know I’ll just respond by telling you how amazing you look. You have no reason right now to worry, especially with all the dancing you do.

Now, with that out of the way, I present to you Exhibit L. Yes, those are three church bulletins. Can I use this letter to just vent? Because today, as I’m sitting in a car, riding back from my grandparents house, I really just need to get all of this out in a way that won’t include fighting with my parents or snapping at someone who doesn’t deserve it.

To start at the beginning of the story, for Easter this year, my parents felt the need to make a last ditch effort at family togetherness. This from the people who went to work after dinner on Christmas Day. It seems that the slight freak out I’ve been having about obsessively checking the mailbox for college acceptance (please let them be acceptance) letters that should come next week has made it clear to them that I’m actually leaving in a few months. That would be a whole new rant about why now? They’ve had eighteen years…

Let’s focus on today’s venting topic, though, a whole weekend at my grandparents house in Cleveland. We got there Friday afternoon, and it’s evening on Sunday now as we’re driving home. That may not seem like a really long time, but it was. Let’s just say I was glad for the amount of homework I’d had to bring.

Speaking of homework, taking so many AP classes is starting to catch up with me. I’ll admit it. I’m trying to push through and study early for the exams, because the tests are right before Nationals. Artie, Tina and I had to go sit down with Ms. Pillsbury last week to make sure that we weren’t going to miss any tests for it. Turns out, our last test is on a Wednesday. We leave on that Thursday. I have a feeling that the three of us will be studying during any spare possible moment in rehearsals the last few weeks. No more Angry Birds for me.

But back on track, have I told you about my father’s parents? I’m sure they’re perfectly nice people most of the time, but they’re not the world’s greatest grandparents. Growing up, I’d see grandparents in TV shows and movies who did fun things their their grandkids and spoiled them. I think mine just taught my father how to work all the time and provide financially. Their love for me feels more like an abstract concept, like they love me because you’re supposed to love your grandchild, than anything I’ve ever really felt.

My favorite moment of the weekend, or not, was when my grandfather asked me, in front of all my aunts, uncles, and cousins, if I’d found a nice girl yet. You should have seen the looks on everyone’s faces. It’s not as if I’m not out to my extended family. I think the rest of them were as stunned for words as I was. I finally just shut him up by telling him I’d been with a perfectly nice boy for two years now.

My aunt won all the bonus points then by just patting me on the shoulder and telling me she hopes she’ll have a chance to meet you someday. Then she changed the subject and got them all talking about the Buckeyes. She might just be my new favorite family member. I may have sat near her at every meal after that.

We also got the joy of attending church not just once, not twice, but three times this weekend. First there was a Good Friday service not long after we pulled in. Then we had to get up before dawn today to attend a Sunrise service. I would have thought that was enough church for the holiday, but no. We still had to go with my grandparents to the regular service.

It all felt really stilted. Like my parents were pretending to be devoutly religious. They attend church every once in a while. Going to church four or five times a year does not make you a churchgoer. They used to drag me along, even had a whole ‘Blaine needs a religious education kick’ when I was about eight, but since I came out, they haven’t even mentioned it. That made this weekend even more awkward. It was the first time I’ve set foot in a church since I came out, and I couldn’t help but wonder if people would even want me there with them if they really knew me.

At least it’s over. Next year, I’ll be in New York for the holiday. There’s no way that this is one I’m coming home for. I can have dining hall ham and all the chocolate eggs I want. It will be lovely. Maybe we’ll be able to get together and celebrate with our friends, focusing on spring and life and bunnies that lay candy. Someday when we’re in our thirties and have kids, I’ll take them to hunt silly plastic eggs full of treats. Maybe we’ll even celebrate it with your family. But I’m reminding myself right now that I will never be forced to celebrate it like this again. Some days I can’t wait to graduate.

Thank you for letting me vent to you. Even if I change my mind and don’t send this to you or it gets lost in the mail, it still will have helped me. Maybe I should consider journaling more seriously. There’s just something therapeutic about getting it all out on paper when your weekend feels as awful as mine did. Thank goodness school starts again tomorrow. There’s your frame of reference for this weekend. I’d rather be at McKinley than my grandparents’.

This weekend has just made me even more grateful for the way your dad and stepmom have just accepted me. I know that someday in ten or fifteen years, we’ll have the kind of grandparents for our kids that I always wanted to have.

I love you. I hope you had a good holiday. I can’t wait to talk to you soon. I’m sorry for all the venting, and I apologize in advance for the obsessing I’ll probably be doing until my college letters come in. Please tell me if I get as bad as Rachel.

All my love,

Blaine

Kurt didn’t hesitate to tuck that letter back away. It helped that this moment had been sandwiched between good ones. It was just the dip in a roller coaster made mainly of heights. They’d talked it through on the phone after Kurt had gotten the letter, both of them curled under their own blankets but wishing that they’d been able to be curled under the same set together. That was one of the times when the distance hit Kurt the hardest. When Blaine was upset, and he couldn’t just reach out to comfort him with an embrace.

Kurt reached out to grab the next letter remembering the range of emotions. He could almost imagine Blaine vibrating with happiness while he wrote the next piece in the group.

Kurt!

Alright, so maybe that didn’t need an exclamation point, but I feel like everything does right now. I bet you can guess what I’m so excited about. Well, I’m one hundred percent sure that this is one of those things that I’ll have told you about on the phone or Skype first chance I get. Sorry for the repeat, but I can’t contain the excitement. I need to tell someone, and you’re not answering your phone. Looking at the time, I bet you’re still in class. You have late class on Thursday, right?

I just got home myself. On the way inside, I’ve been checking the mailbox every single day for weeks now, even though I know that letters were supposed to be mailed Monday. Apparently, everything went smoothly, because I got four letters today. Well, one letter and three big envelopes.

Packets! You know what comes in packets stuffed into big envelopes? Acceptance letters!

I did it! I got in! Well, I got wait listed for Columbia, but I honestly can’t bring myself to be sad about that. I mostly applied there to appease my father, anyway.

I did get in to Sarah Lawrence, Fordham, and NYU. So I am definitely on my way to New York! I apologize for any horrid handwriting in this letter. I’m so excited that I think my hand is shaking.

I have to talk to my parents still, but I’m ninety percent sure that I’ll be accepting NYU’s offer. It’s just really the best fit. I got accepted to major in music education and to enroll in theater education classes, too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to swing the double major that I’d like, but I can at least minor in the theater part. That’s perfect for what I want to be able to do as a teacher. Plus, I already have a built in roommate for the dorms.

Speaking of which, as soon as I finish writing this (and trying to call you again, which will probably end up with another super excited voicemail. Sorry.) I’m going to give Mike a call, too. Someone else to share this excitement with. I think we’ll be great roommates. We both like things neat and orderly. We both care about our studies and doing well in school. Without some of those basics, a good friend wouldn’t necessarily be a good roommate, you know?

I’m going to include Exhibit M with this. I’m stopping by Kinkos on the way to the post office so you can be the first one to see copies of all those shiny acceptance letters.

My heart leapt so high reading those words, seeing ‘Blaine Anderson’ and ‘offering you acceptance’ on the same page.

I will have to admit that I have been so worried about this. I’ve been trying to decide what I would do if I didn’t get into any of the colleges I applied to. I’m so glad to see that I was worried for nothing. I know that it was unlikely that /nowhere/ would have taken me, but fear isn’t always rational. I suddenly feel like I can breathe.

I love you, and I can’t wait to be with you in New York next year. I can’t wait to experience college and to be able to take you on a date every weekend, even it’s just a walk in Central Park or a cup of coffee.

Always yours,

Blaine

Kurt remembered how excited Blaine had been when he’d caught him on the phone that night. It was everything that both of them were hoping for. There was nothing sweeter than confirmation that Blaine would be joining him in New York City the next year. It didn’t matter that they wouldn’t be living together, maybe it was even better that they wait another year to do that more maturely. What mattered was that Blaine was happy and excited, and they would be close enough to see each other whenever they could match schedules up.

Kurt glanced at the acceptance letters for just a moment before he flipped them forward. There was only one more letter in the box. One more letter before he opened the new package that was waiting for him today. There had been a long dry spell between packages, almost the whole month of April into the first week of May. Kurt had understood though. Blaine had been busy enough between getting ready for AP tests and Nationals that they’d been eeking out texts and short phone calls. Skype dates had turned into study sessions, but they’d made it through. Soon Kurt would be home and watching Blaine graduate. They’d almost made it.