Jan. 17, 2013, 1:37 p.m.
Best Summer Ever: The Day Before
M - Words: 2,762 - Last Updated: Jan 17, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 21/21 - Created: Sep 16, 2012 - Updated: Jan 17, 2013 656 0 3 0 0
The days passed in a blur. I continued lifeguard training, where Sam continued to try to prove that he was part fish. The whole lot of us continued trainings with Schue, Wes, or one of the other group leaders.
Best of all, I got to watch Blaine start to settle in. He wasn’t as jumpy as he had been the first day. He had started to actually talk to me, even if it wasn’t about important things yet. Still, he’d tell me stories about what silly thing Nick or Jeff had done when the CITs were off learning group games. I’d even overheard him chatting with Mike about music the other day. It was good.
Today was the last day of just the staff being at camp. Tomorrow, a hundred and fifty boys would come tumbling out of their parents cars or off the camp buses, and this place would be bursting with energy. I was looking forward to it, but I was also trying to enjoy the relative quiet for the last bits I could.
Right now, I had a meeting with Schue and Wes. All of us leadership training guys had one this afternoon, down at the main office. Well, really, right now I was sitting on the porch waiting for Mike to finish his meeting inside. Good thing there were those Adirondack chairs and a decent view.
The main point of the meeting was going to be to find out which age group we were assigned to work with for the summer. There were 12 camper cabins, and most of them had two or three counselors of their own. Then for backup, and training, there was a CIT and a JC assigned to all the younger cabins.
The office door opened, and Mike strode out. I raised my eyebrows towards him curiously. So?
“Sub-seniors. The thirteen year olds. I am so excited. That means Schue is letting me roll up with the guys I had last summer.” That was exactly what Mike had wanted. “You’d better not keep them waiting though. Good luck.”
“Glad you got your first choice. Yeah, hopefully I won’t need /too/ much luck.” I noted jokingly, standing to move into the office after one last wave at Mike. Time to face the music.
“Kurt! Come on in and take a seat.” Schue waved me over towards the couch beside Wes. We were out in the main room of the office this time, and it was much more spacious than Schue’s little closet in the back. Wes and Schue had set up shop in the sitting area off to one side, with Schue’s clipboard and notes on the coffee table in front of us.
“You might have noticed that we saved you for last, Kurt.” Schue continued. “There was a reason for that. We wanted to talk to you for a few minutes before we do the normal group assignment.”
Why is it that whenever Schue says something like that, I try to figure out what I’ve done this time? “Is this about how Sam’s shoes got run up the flagpole?” I asked, trying to keep the nerves to a minimum.
“No. But we can talk about that later.” Wes stated, raising his eyebrows toward me. It would have looked more impressive if I couldn’t tell that he was trying not to laugh. “We wanted to talk about Blaine. How do you think he’s doing?”
“I, huh.” I had to stop for a moment to really get my thoughts together on that subject. “Blaine’s starting to settle in. He’s still not really comfortable with big groups of people, but he’s started to at least hold real conversations with Mike and I. With Nick, too, I think. At first, he didn’t really talk unless you asked him a direct question.”
“That’s good to hear.” Schue told me, in a very director-like tone before asking, “Has he opened up to you at all on a more personal level?”
“Not really. He’s taken a few baby steps that way, but I think he’s going to have to /really/ trust me before he does.” I paused. Somehow this whole thing with Blaine was having the side effect of making me open up, even if Blaine never does. “I’m trying to share some trust with him. I’ve realized that how do I expect him to open up, when I never do? Other than Mike, and maybe Finn, I don’t talk about what life in high school is like for me. Why should I expect Blaine to?”
I was fully avoiding looking over towards Wes now. I mean, I’d talked in very basic terms about being bullied in my interview with Schue this year, but it was true. I don’t open up about this at camp. Or anywhere, really, because even the people at school, they only know because they are there to witness it all.
“But I have the strength to get through, well, my own personal hell, because I know there are people who accept me that I can rely on. Even if Blaine never opens up to me or anyone here, I think that if we can give him that then we’ll have made a sappy, overly optimistic difference in his life.”
“God, Kurt.” Wes said. Even if I was still avoiding looking at him, apparently he wasn’t having the same problem. “I never realized. I mean, you always seem so together and happy.”
“I try to be together and happy or at least to seem like it. I don’t want people here to see me as that kid who gets bullied. I don’t want you to see me as someone broken or fragile, because I’m not either one. If anything, I’m stronger because of it. I refuse to let homophobic idiots break me.
“They can toss me in dumpsters, call me every name under the sun, throw frozen drinks on me, and shove me into lockers until my back is black and blue, but they can’t change me. I know who I am, and I refuse to let anyone make me believe that who I am isn’t okay.” I looked up then, because what was really the point in hiding with my gaze if I had put all of that out on the line already? “You all have taught me that the greatest thing I can be is myself.”
“And that is why I chose you to mentor Blaine.” Schue stated, breaking to moment of silence that followed my rant. “You have stayed strong through more than you should have faced. I’m hoping some of that strength can rub off. I have a feeling that he needs it.”
“Because of that, we decided that we want to keep you and Blaine together in a cabin. Last summer, you had sub-seniors, but we can’t have you roll up with them.” Wes added on to what Schue had been saying.
I nodded my head. “I figured that would be the case. They’re seniors now, and you never really put CITs or JCs with the 14 or 15 year olds. Where have you stuck me instead?”
Wes looked down at the papers on the coffee table and then back up at me. “We also didn’t really think putting Blaine with kids that would know so much more about camp then him would be a good fit right now. In the end, we’re putting you with little ones. We’ve got you with Finn’s cabin of nine year olds. His co-counselor this year is one of the new international staff. That will also give Blaine someone who sees this as all as foreign and new as it must seem to him.”
I nodded as I thought through all that in my head. Oh God. Little tiny guys. The earliest a boy could start here was eight, so at most the nine year old would be second year campers. Lots of them would be newbies. It wasn’t exactly my first choice. They were so sticky and needy. It did make sense though the way Wes stated it.
“I can see your point there.” I stated, trying to be professional about it all. “And I’m glad you’re putting me with Finn.” There, that was a highlight of the whole thing, and Finn always has one of the younger age groups. He just relates to the little guys. Despite the fact that he’s in college, I don’t think he’s ever truly grown up.
“I know this isn’t your first choice of age groups, so thank you for being so willing to take this on. I think it will be good for you as well to learn how to work with the younger boys.” Schue stated, moving to stand. “I’m sure you want to get going, though. I know the line for the showers is probably already growing before our social with the girls’ camp tonight.”
I stood as well, grinning over. “Oh man. I hope it is. I’ve heard the girls try to spend hours getting ready for these things. We’re lucky if I can convince the guys to put on a clean shirt that actually matches their pants.” I stated with a dryly teasing tone and a shake of my head.
“Kurt! You’re back! I need help.” Sam called over as I walked into the cabin. It seemed the CITs had swarmed our room again for advice, or at least random chatter, judging by the number of people inside. Thankfully, it looked like most of the people with earlier times to meet with Schue and Wes had already hit the showers, seeing all the wet heads of hair.
I flashed Mike and Blaine each a quick smile when I saw them sitting on opposite ends of Mike’s bed then turned to raise my eyebrows over at Sam. He was standing in front of his trunk, dressed in just jeans and an undershirt giving me that puppy-dog hopeful look of his. “Are you having a fashion crisis?” I asked in my best diva tone.
I could hear Mike trying not to laugh in the background as Sam replied. “You know you have better fashion sense than I do. I know you’re not interested in finding a summer girlfriend, but help a guy out?” Sam turned to stick his tongue out very maturely at Mike. “Like you don’t want to dress up to impress. I know you’ve had your eye on Tina for the last two years.”
“You really do need to make a move.” I told Mike with a bit of a teasing tone, though I really did mean it. “You’ve been mooning over that girl forever. Plus, she’s kind, smart, and a good friend. You could do so much worse.” I caught a glimpse of Blaine as I looked over. The kid looked confused by all this. Surely his friends at home talked about girls? “What shirts are you considering? Those jeans are a good choice, so you’re halfway there.” I turned my gaze back over towards Sam.
“I only brought two button downs. Do you think this would be too dressy for tonight?” Sam held up a short sleeved, button down shirt in a rich, blue color.
“Not if you want to date a girl this summer. You want to make a good first impression. I think that’s a good choice actually, with your tan and your blonde hair.” Decision made. That was easy. I turned back to give Mike and Blaine a look over. “Now, let me go see if there’s any hot water left in the showers, and then I’ll help you two, if you need it. It’ll be good to chat with the girls again. I can’t wait to catch up with Mercedes and Tina.”
The CITs and JCs had Wes and David tagging along as chaperones as we walked along the path towards the girls’ camp. It was the same path I’d wandered along with Blaine just a few days ago. It was tradition, apparently, that the first social of the summer for the leadership training campers would be on the last night of staff week. From here on, we’d see the girls for an evening every week or so.
The location alternated between the two camps. During the rest of the summer, the seniors would have socials the same night at the opposite camp. When it was at the girls’ camp, their Group Leader or Director would plan the events. Schue or Wes would plan when it was at ours. Overall, it worked out pretty well. There was some awkward flirting, some camp romance, and a chance to just make friends, especially for me.
The boys had cleaned up rather well. It looked like everyone had managed to at least wear clean clothes, and most of them were rather stylish. Well done.
Blaine was tagging along towards the back of the group, watching, well, staring at me, really. Maybe this was a good time to figure out what the hell was up with the way he’d been looking at me ever since I helped Sam choose an outfit.
I slowed my pace to let the group flow ahead of me until I was walking at Blaine’s side. “Hey. You doing alright with this?” I asked over, trying to give him an opening.
“I’m fine.” Blaine answered automatically. We walked silently beside each other for a minute before Blaine took a deep breath and asked, “Can I ask something that’s probably rudely personal?”
I raised my eyebrows over at him and shrugged. “Ask away. If I don’t want to answer it, I can always just tell you that, right?” I kept my tone light. After all, Blaine starting a conversation on any kind of personal note was a new thing.
“Sam said something about you not being interested in a summer girlfriend. Is that because you have one at home? Or…” Blaine stared ahead at the trail after shooting a quick, curious glance over at me.
I tried to hold in my laughter, and mostly succeeded. “No girlfriend at home, or anywhere else for that matter. And sadly, no boyfriend either.” I added, giving Blaine a sidelong look to see his reaction to that.
He blinked a few times and then stopped in his tracks to look over towards me. “You’re gay? And they all know?” Blaine didn’t sound upset about it, thankfully. It would have sucked for such a cute guy to be homophobic. He sounded more surprised than anything.
“I am. And they do. This is the first place I came out, actually. It was much easier coming out here than at school. Here, they accept being gay as just another part of who I am. They don’t look at me like I am some kind of freak instead of the kid they’ve known since they were eight.” I glanced over at Blaine beside me on the path.
I started to walk again, now that there was that bit of distance between us and the rest of the guys. I knew that Wes wouldn’t question it. After all, he wanted Blaine to open up to me. That wasn’t going to happen in the crowd. “You don’t have a problem with it, do you?” I let the insecurity show in my voice, trying to let myself be genuine instead of hiding behind my Lima masks.
“A problem? No, I would never. I mean, I’m… I’m a theater kid, right?” I could have sworn Blaine was about to say something else there. Maybe I finally had a crush on a gay kid for once in my life? Figures that it would be one so hurting that I couldn’t do anything about it right now. “It’s just that you’re popular here. I guess I’ve never been anywhere but a theater where anyone was ever gay and out and still so well liked. It’s different. Good different.”
Blaine kicked at the dirt as he continued walking slowly, leaving the group a bit further behind until no one else could hear us. He stared at me for a long moment as if he was having some mental war on what to say next before asking, with a tone as vulnerable as a kitten, “Do you think they’ll still like me when they find out I’m gay, too?”
I gave Blaine a wide grin, stopping once again to turn and face him. I’d hug him if I didn’t think he’d startle. “Of course they will. They’ll like you because you’re you. That’s just one part of you. Welcome to not being in Ohio.”
Comments
Thank you!
Awesome chapter! Love it!
Okay, that's a very good start for Blaine, thank god. I love it!I love this story in general, and I'm thankful that you write it!Can't wait to read another chapter :)