The morning went well enough. We made it to flag on time, survived breakfast (even if I probably had more coffee than actual food), and sat through more training with Wes. Thank God he’ll have the CITs here starting this afternoon to focus some of his attention on. I mean, I love Wes and all. I learned a ton from him last summer, but sometimes he can take things a little too seriously.

Suddenly it was lunchtime, and I made sure to drag Blaine along with me, even if I did choose a table of rather more sedate counselors this time. It was a good excuse to meet some of the new guys on staff, and let Blaine see he wasn’t the only first timer. By the end of the meal, I could see the CITs starting to arrive through the camp side windows of the dining hall. I watched Blaine for a moment as we finished passing dishes to the table head to scrape, and I made a decision.

I was not taking Blaine back to the cabin for rest hour, unless he really, really wanted to go. I knew what the CIT room was probably like right now. Most of these guys hadn’t seen each other in person for months. They’d be giving manly hugs and talking enthusiastically about their years and their past summers. They probably wouldn’t give Blaine the time of day until they’d had a chance to do that.

I could just imagine that if I took Blaine back to the cabin right now, and he got that reaction, he’d just bottle right back up again. I hadn’t even known the guy quite a full day, but I knew that was one of his fears. He’d think that they’d never ever like him, when if they just met him a few hours, it would probably all go swimmingly well.

Decided then. I almost missed Schue starting announcements. Well, I might have if just Schue saying that word didn’t start all the returning staff singing the announcement song at him at the top of their lungs. I joined in as well, with a shrug to all the new guys around me as the song faded out. “You’ll get used to all these songs, I promise. By the end of the first week the kids are here, you’ll know the words to most of them.”

Then I shut up to listen to announcements, and pulled Blaine aside as the staff all trailed out, heading back to their cabins for rest time, or really free time since it was still staff week. “Want to go for a walk? I know you got the full tour yesterday, but I know a good path to meander down. I could really use some time surrounded by trees.”

Blaine looked over at me for a moment considering it before he nodded. “As long as we don’t get too far away from camp. I guess I trust you not to jump me in the woods.” That seemed to be only about half joking, but I smiled over anyway.

“You could always nail me in the gut pretty well with that cast if I tried.” I noted, leading the way out, towards a path that wound its way around the lake shore. If we followed it far enough, it would lead to the girls’ camp, but I wasn’t planning to go that far today.

We walked a good bit of the way in companionable silence before I spotted the fallen tree I’d been looking for. “Let’s sit here. I want to drink in the view over the lake.” I climbed over the trunk, to settle on top of the log, watching Blaine do the same. More than anything, I wanted to connect with him, for some reason I still wasn’t quite sure of. I wanted to protect Blaine and take that vaguely haunted look from his eyes, but I also wanted him to just plain be my friend.

It would have to start with me opening up. I knew by instinct that I would have to be the first one to start the sharing. He seemed too content to stay quiet and bottled up. “I don’t know what I would have done in my life without this place, these people. Crap. That sounds so dramatic.”

Blaine looked out at the view of the lake through a few more trees as he listened, not making much if any eye contact with me. “It rather does, yeah. Why, though? What made you even end up here in the first place, all the way from Ohio?”

“As for how I got here, well, part of that is that this place is a family tradition on my mom’s side of the family.” I paused, taking time to decide how much to tell him before I finally decided to just be open. “I don’t know if I ever would have been sent here though if it hadn’t been for what happened when I was in second grade. My dad’s a mechanic. He’s got his own shop, but we have nowhere near the amount of money most of the kids here do.”

I glanced over quickly to check that Blaine was still listening. “About six months before I started here, some idiot was driving drunk and hit my mom’s car. She died. Which sounds like a really crazy reason to come to summer camp, but my grandparents thought it would be good for me. They were right that I needed to get away and have a chance to just be a kid. They still pay my way here every summer.

“Still, I don’t envy my counselors that first summer. When I was crying for my mother, they couldn’t just tell me that I’d see her in a few weeks like we can most homesick kids. I got really close to my camp brother, Finn, though. We’re still close. Sometimes I feel like he’s really my big brother. Sam and I met that very first summer. We were in the same cabin that year and every year since. I think he made it his mission to make me laugh as often as possible. Really, I think that’s probably still his mission in life.”

Blaine was still looking out towards the lake when I fell quiet. I reached down to grab a twig, drawing squiggly lines in the dirt with it as waited to see if he was going to talk, or if I should continue my monologue.  

“I’m sorry to hear about your mom.” Blaine finally said, giving me a quick glance before he looked out over the water. “So it’s just you and your dad now?”

“It is. My dad and I are like polar opposites. Sometimes I think we couldn’t be more different if we tried, but he’s a good guy. He really loves and supports me, even if he doesn’t always quite get me.” I used the stick to draw a smiley face in the dirt, then to scratch it out.

“Still, it must be nice to have him love you, support you.” Blaine stated with a tone that sounded quite wistful. Was his relationship with his father not that great? Wasn’t his dad the one who sent him here this summer? Maybe that had some part of his resistance towards being here. Huh.

“It is. I think everyone should at least have some people in their life, and some place in their life, where they are accepted for exactly who they are. And that’s the limit of my mushy, idealistic statements for this afternoon.” I tossed the stick back out into the woods, shifting on the log so that I was looking at Blaine. “This could be that place for you, too, if you’d just let it.” Yes, I’d said it was my limit, but still, I couldn’t resist adding to it. So sue me.

I probably was pushing too much because Blaine didn’t look over towards me or respond for the longest time. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to take that risk right now. What if, when you know all about me, you don’t want to even talk to me anymore?” His eyes left the lake, but they didn’t turn towards me, unfortunately. No, apparently Blaine had some burning need to stare holes in his cast.

“Unless you secretly murder puppies or mutilate small children, I think you’re safe in that.” It was a valiant attempt to lighten the mood a bit, even if it failed. “I’m from Ohio, too, remember? Being myself in Lima hasn’t exactly given me a fan club. I don’t know if I even want to count the number of times I’ve called Mike, or Sam, or Finn, or, hell, even Wes because I needed to talk to someone who didn’t hate me to bring me out of my funk. The number of times I’ve spilled my guts over the phone to Mike because I just couldn’t bottle in what all the torment was doing to me anymore should qualify the guy for some kind of superhero award.

Blaine turned to actually look to me as I let all that out, making eye contact when I probably wanted it the least. “I don’t murder puppies or mutilate small children, I promise. I just wish… I wish that didn’t happen to you. To either of us. But I can’t open up now. Not today, but maybe someday?”

“Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. This doesn’t have to be our only stroll through the woods. We should be getting back towards camp soon though. I need to introduce you to the CITs before we start training as a big leadership group at two.” I stood, giving Blaine a reassuring smile before stepping back over the log and leading our way back along the peaceful path towards camp. “I promise they don’t murder puppies or mutilate small children either.”