"Im old! Kurt tell me Im not old!" Jake whines, plopping down into the chair beside me. His party hat has a tear down the side, making it fall jauntily across one half of his face, but he didnt seem to notice or care.

"Well it is your thirtieth..." I smile as he looks furiously at me through one eye. "But dont worry; Ill keep you looking young!"

"That means I need to try. Oh God, Im old!" He throws his hand up across his face and groans loudly. "Kill me. Right now. I dont care how." I couldnt help but chuckle a little at his melodramatics, sure thirty was a milestone age but when you look as good as Jake does in a figure hugging pair of pants and grey shirt you cant really moan. He doesnt even have any wrinkles without any skin care regime for god sake!

"I hate to break it to you but you have a six year old child. Youve been old for a looooonnnnggg time. Why stress about it now?" I tell him bluntly as I giggle, passing Jake him the champagne to top up his glass, but he yanks it out my hand and swigs straight from the bottle before holding it tight to his chest.

"Just because youre twenty six and have hot sex with your hot boyfriend that lives with you, and your hot best friend...." He grumbles, swigging down more of the fizzy liquid, only spluttering when the bubbles hit his nose.

"Did you just call Santana hot?" I raise my eyebrow towards him and his face drains of any colour.

"Im thirty and Im straight..." He yelps. "I repeat, kill me! Hash tag, game over!" His head flops down onto my shoulder in protest and I cant help but laugh softly.

"Im pretty sure youre not. If your very attractive husbands limp is anything to go by...." I glance over at Dale trying to dance as best as he can with all his weight on one leg and Santana jumping on his back.

"We had sex on the kitchen floor when your dad took Landin. He pulled a muscle." Jakes head rises off my shoulder a little to watch Dale. "I stopped half way through to say...Is it wrong our child eats in here?" I choke a little on my own glass as he looks at me seriously. "Do you know how long its been since we had any kind of sex thats not in our bedroom? A long time and I stopped to say that. Oh God I sound like my dad!" His head is placed heavily back down to my shoulder.

"Why would you know your dad would say something like that? And remind me never to get married, OR have children." I smile wickedly, remembering mine and Blaines kitchen adventure only a few weeks ago.

"He likes to share everything! They are cute... But God can they be a cock block. I cant even count how many times he has almost caught us when we thought he was sleeping.....Its a good job hes cute!" He mumbles from under my chin.

"True! I could live with interrupted sex if I had one of him." I smile just thinking about my gorgeous nephew from his little diva foot stomps to the way medical jargon literally rolls out of his mouth with a grin on his dimpled face.

"And its only going to get tougher when there are two little ninjas to tackle. God Im old! And I dont have my child tonight. Im going to do a body shot off of somebody right now!" He moves to stand up and look for a victim. "Dale.... Get naked now!"

Dale responds happily, whipping his T-shirt over his head and throwing it onto a disgusted Santana before Mrs B helps remove his pants. Within minutes Jake has him straddled on the floor, licking salt from his navel to his Adams apple. I stay firmly seated in place as everyone decides to take a turn, including Cooper and thank my lucky stars that my dad took Landin for the evening.

Im sitting taking in the party around me, watching my friends interact with one another. This last year had been crazy for us all. Maya and Santana had bitched each other out at any opportunity, which had become few and far between as we prepared for launch night and Santana spent most of her time held up in the studio writing and recording her new record. Dale and Jake had decided to start openly looking for another small addition to their family, Landin was getting older and more like a little mini adult every day (which definitely kept us all on our toes.) Rachel and Finn had just had twins, two more nephews to be spoiled whenever Uncle Kurt had time to visit them out in LA, where Finn was teaching. Cooper.....well lets just say being tied down hadnt agreed with him and he was back to his old play boy ways.

Then there was Blaine! Ever since his clumsy trip down a flight of steps he had been accident free and was living with me and Santana. You heard me; Kurt Hummel has a gorgeous live in boyfriend! He had moved in to recuperate after his operation and much to my own delight it worked and there was no room to argue it being a permanent thing when Santana went and collected his stuff without either of us knowing. Thats what Im thinking about when I feel two strong hands clasp over my eyes and a firm chest pressed against the back of my shoulders.

"Guess who?" I hear growled into my ear seductively and I can feel all of the hairs on my body stand on end.

"Channing Tatum? I knew youd be back for more." I feel a bite at the bottom of my earlobe and yelp in surprise. "Im joking! Blaine get your butt on this couch so I can snuggle into you!" I feel him leap across the back of it and land with a small thud beside me.

"That wasnt very nice!" He pouts adorably at me, fluttering his eyelashes. "I want a kiss as payment for your crimes..." I cut him off, catching his lips soundly in my own, breaking away when I hear a moan float into my mouth. "Thats not where I wanted it." I swat his head playfully as he winks.

"Well THAT will have to wait until later!" I smile, licking my lips and tasting chocolate frosting from the endless amount of birthday cake he has no doubt eaten. "You should be ashamed. Its not like you can blame this behaviour on drink."

"Im a slut. What can I say?" He shrugs, leaning back against the arm and stretching so his tanned mid riff peeks out ever so slightly under his polo shirt.

"I hope by that you mean you really enjoy having sex with me and not any guy that will smile at you." Blaine barks out a husky laugh and I can tell hes horny.

"Of course Peachy! AND Im looking forward to some very slutty drunk Kurt sex tonight." He trails a finger in intricate patterns over my thigh, which makes my pulse quicken.

"Youre not getting anywhere near my ass!" I grin at him and he huffs out a little breath. "I couldnt sit down all day yesterday because of you! If anyones coming in anyones ass its me!"

"EWWWW! My brothers talking about dirty sex!" Finn groans from where he has appeared in front of me.

"EWWWWW! My brothers having dirtier sex than me!" Cooper groans right after. "Scarecrow, dont you just want to come home with me?" He tries to whisper, sitting onto the table and pulling Finn with him.

"Dude!!!" Finn cries, trying to cover his ears.

"Oh lighten up Finn! Your brothers hot. So am I! Id be stupid to miss out on an opportunity because I didnt ask!" Cooper throws an arm around him, shouting as close as he can to Finns ears while he tries to swat them away.

"Hes mine cooper!" Blaines pulls his legs on top of mine to shield me.

"Cooper youre straight and I love your brother." I sigh loudly, watching him try to rub his fist over Finns head as they balance precariously on the table edge.

"I think my dicks forgotten that hes been neglected for so long!" Cooper yelps the end of the sentence as Finn bites the hand holding his mouth shut.

"You had sex on Tuesday! We all got the text of the girls boobs." Blaine counters, shuddering a little at the image.

"That was four days ago. Four! It might as well have shrivelled up and fallen off." He points down to his crotch. "Finn please tell me youre at least having less sex than me?"

"Dude, Rachel just had twins! Even if I wasnt exhausted all the time, I cant. They are like breast feeding machines." Finn sighed tiredly.

"Hold on youve not had sex for three months....Dude!" Cooper pats his back softly in apology.

"Six! But whos counting?" Finn jokes and Blaine gags beside me. "Whats wrong with Blaine?"

"You said breast feeding. Blaine breathe, thats what they are there for." I turn back to Cooper who still hasnt moved since Finn spoke. "Cooper are you in shock?"

"Six months! You havent had sex in six months. Go back to that hotel room, tell your exhausted wife she is hot and fuck her hard or Ill do it!" Cooper rants, Blaine gags louder this time beside me. "Hetero sex?" Cooper nods at him and he shakes his head.

"Rachel and Finn sex." I say in explanation. "Finn dont do that, its not a good idea." But Finns already running -literally running - out of Jake and Dales front door. Santana who was dancing just behind us hops on to Coopers lap.

"Whats wrong with lurch?" She nods to the Finn shaped hole practically carved into the door.

"Hes going home to pounce on Rachel." I sigh, trying not to picture it myself.

"Oh hes going to bed without a cock left!" Santana laughs, motioning her fingers like scissors near Coopers nose making him go cock-eyed.

"Have sex with me?" Cooper blabs out of nowhere.

"I dont care how big you say you are, my love tunnel is lined with electric barbed wire and if your cock so much as winks in my direction I will flick on the switch." Santana saunters off into the crowd to cause mayhem and Blaine gags again.

"Is it wrong that Im really turned on right now?" I just gape at Cooper open mouthed, not knowing how to reply to that. "Dont care. Im away to find Mrs B!" Coopers off on his mission and Blaine gags again staring after him.

"You okay babe?" I pull him in closer to me, kissing the top of his head.

"I need an acid shower... So much hetero images ingrained in my brain. I was ready to let you fuck me hard and now I think they broke my penis." He cries, blinking rapidly. "There is no chance for me to ever get hard again!"

"And here was me thinking I could blow you in the bathroom to keep you happy till we got home." I grinned into his hair as his whole body shivered.

"Ill meet you there in five." Blaine plants a searing kiss to my lips before jumping back over the couch and running to the nearest bathroom.

****************************

"I cant believe you just said that!" I stand; mouth wide, my skinny jeans discarded and the taste of his cum still on my tongue. When I offered up a bathroom treat this is not what I had signed up for. "You cant just say that to people!"

"Kurt, calm down! Is it really such a bad thing to ask?" Blaines eyes search mine for an answer I am not going to give whilst looking like an extra in a safe sex commercial.

"Yes! You dont just ask your boyfriend to marry you while he is drunkenly sucking you off in a friends bathroom............Mid swallow!" I fume, pulling my pants back on as quickly as I can. "I could have choked and died Blaine. And not in the sexy kinky kind of way." I jump a little to get the waist band to where it should be and fasten my button.

"Kurt just stop a minute!" He waves his hands in front of me and sits on top of the toilet lid. "Youre kind of hurting my feelings here. And also, sidebar, choking is weird, its not sexy."

"Blaine please tell me it was a joke? And you didnt mean it? That it was just the greatest head youve ever gotten and it came out in the heat of the moment?" I look at him begging and realise although I feel somewhat sobered, I am anything but.

"Well Im not going to admit it now if I did, am I!?! Would it really be so horrible to marry me? Weve been together a year and a half Kurt! Living together for a year of that. You nursed me when I had my broken leg and you love me and I love you and weve known each other since we were three. Would it be so terrible to have me as a husband?" He looks crushed and I throw myself into his lap.

"Its not terrible! Its just this setting is not an acceptable place for a proposal. I do love you but I am never telling our future children OR my dad that you proposed to me mid blow job in Dale and Jakes en-suite!" I push back his stray curls from his forehead. "I promise if you choose a suitable location, when the time is right Ill say yes! This is forever."

"But one day?" He blinks several times at me and I realise how upset this made him. "Promise?"

"I promise if you propose anywhere but a friends bathroom mid blow job, mid any type of sex, not near a dumpster, or on your hospital bed drugged up, or on a farm, or a zoo, or anywhere that has any affiliation with sport, or those weird helium balloons, or anything with fish or in a Wal-Mart....oh! Or in front of a street vendor. Then I will one hundred per cent definitely say yes." I place a soft kiss to his head. "Unless I beat you to it." I see the hope in his eyes at the last comment.

"Okay. Ill keep that duly noted." He captures my lips in his own, humming contentedly. "Now how about I repay your favour?"

"That would definitely be okay by me." I grin as he starts to undo my pants to take them off again. Business is resumed, all trains ready to leave the platform.

***************************

"Okay everyone!" Dale yells to get the parties attention. "I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for coming! To our friends at work, our closest friends and the losers from out of state!" Dale stalls to look around at everyone. "I have had an amazing night and by the look of my passed out husband he has too! So heres to another year of love, family, friends and booze!" Everyone cheers and downs their respective glasses. Dale then slumps into the chair beside me while Blaine is up dancing with Santana.

"Hows my floppy doing?" He smiles at me and I notice the tell-tale pupils of him being a little more than tipsy.

"Happy!" I smile goofily at him.

"You totally had sex in one of our rooms!" He moans.

"Not exactly....But I have a very talented tongue, or so Im told!" I stick it out to lick his cheek.

"Please dont tell me I have Blaines cum on my face!" He rubs it roughly.

"Oh no! I always swallow..." I wink at him and his jaw opens in shock.

"You are disgustingly vulgar at times."

"And you are delightfully jealous. Hows the leg, limpy?" I cock my head to the side and watch him wince as he subconsciously tries to move it.

"Of course my husband told you. Is this where you laugh at my misfortune?" He looks at me from the corner of his eye.

"This is where I admire you for still jumping at the chance to have sex on the kitchen floor after being together for years. Very commendable effort indeed!" I smile, pulling him in for a hug.

"I think so. Better than being one of those bitter couples who cant stand each other. As much as his obsessive cleaning skills drive me mad I wouldnt want anyone else." He smiles dreamily towards his room where Jake was tucked in an hour ago.

"Speaking of bitter couples...The shop opening. I need you to keep Santana in check while I handle Maya! Deal?"

"Urgh fine! But if she bites me Im giving up the security detail. And you owe me four nights of babysitting." Dales raises his hand to the front of my face, wiggling four fingers.

"Deal! Love you chip!" I slap my hand against his.

"Love you too floppy!" He mumbles as his eyes start to droop.