Nov. 19, 2016, 6 p.m.
The Story Of How I Got Hitched: Family Dinner
E - Words: 2,454 - Last Updated: Nov 19, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Feb 08, 2014 - Updated: Feb 08, 2014 232 0 0 0 0
Next time:
"I havent had much cause for it recently, have I?"
"Okay can I just put it out there? That as much as I love you all...I am not going to be a third wheel and look after the children while you all suck face!" Santana says loudly as she plops herself down in the empty chair between me and Landin.
After Blaine and I had come out of our cocoon of sex and just generally being together. Santana had bluntly walked into the bathroom - while we may or may not have been otherwise occupied - and told us that a Hummel style Friday dinner was going to be taking place and attendance was mandatory. So here the seven of us were. Sitting in one of our favourite restaurants to celebrate and give them all the proper story.
"Well if you were to have a...I dont know red headed girlfriend...you wouldnt always be the odd one out..." Jake smiles suggestively at her before she flips him off.
"Bite me dad!" Santana growls taking a swig of water. "Why dont we have champagne? I thought this was a celebration?"
"Aunty Tan? I can be your boyfriend if you want?" Landin asks from beside her making her grin happily.
"You can be my one and only boyfriend for ever and ever bug!" She places several sloppy kisses all over his face earning her a chuckle from where Lydia was sat in a high chair. "Ive no time for girlfriends but it doesnt matter..."
"Because friend with benefits are always better?" Landin asks seriously, raising his eyebrows at her from under her hands.
"Exactly!" She squeals delighted turning to face the rest of us. "So whats the deal with celebratory drinks?"
"You taught my child the term friends with benefits?" Dale asks angrily as Jake just stares at her.
"Relax granddad! He doesnt know what it means!" She shrugs as if its no big deal.
"Oh my god! We are going to be those parents? The ones who have to go into school constantly because of their childs potty mouth...." Jake says in shock, his head in his hands, as Lydia bangs the table for attention. "I know beau...Aunty Tan wont ever get near you when your big...she will turn you into one of her!"
"A bitchy lesbian?" I say in amusement.
"Slightly slutty?" Blaine asks right after.
"The best aunty in the world?" Landin asks trying to ‘join in the grown up conversation. Santana turns to him again, smiling widely at her favourite nephew.
"And that is why youre my favourite boy!" She kisses him over and over until he squeals loud enough to make the tables around us look over. "So seriously celebration drinks?" She asks sitting back up in her chair.
"Well Blaine doesnt drink so we were contemplating not getting any..." I say carefully, its not like I cant drink around him but I dont want to celebrate our engagement any differently to how he is.
"We can have soda!" Landin says seriously. "It has bubbles too!" He informs us just in case we werent aware.
"Hold up!" Santana says taking in our faces. "I have to sit here and listen to your engagement story...without alcohol to numb my pain?"
"You make it sound like a hardship Tan!" Dale laughs, while absentmindedly stroking Lydias tiny puff of hair.
"I dont do mushy! I need at least a bottle of wine to get through the amount of gag worthy gushing they are going to put us through." She spits towards me.
"And people say Im the alcoholic..." Blaine laughs loudly and Jake quickly swoops in to avoid Landin asking what that means by changing the subject.
"Why dont we just get a couple of wines then? Nothing fancy or extra special!" He says to ease out any possible arguments. I mouth a ‘thank you in his direction as a waitress comes over to take our orders. After shes gone and our drinks appear we all settle in for the duration.
"Uncle Blaine?" Landin asks smiling.
"Yeah bud?"
"Now you and Uncle Kurt are getting married does that mean youll have a baby?" I may have spit out some of my water in shock, which causes Santana to laugh while dabbing at my chin with a napkin.
"Well not right now..." Blaine says flustered.
"But you said when you get married you have babies!" We both look over to Jake and Dale, who decide to become engrossed in Lydia. Those fucking traitors.
"Well some people do, but we wont be getting married for a long time yet so no babies for now anyway!" He says carefully not wanting to start an entire interrogation right now.
"But when you do Ill be a big cousin?" Landin asks quieter almost like hes afraid to ask.
"Of course you will you goof!" I say reaching over Santanas lap to rub his shoulder affectionately.
"Okay! Can we have dessert first?" Apparently the matter is no longer a concern for him.
"After you eat your dinner..." Dale chimes in. Oh so now he can hear what we are talking about?
"Okay I cant take it anymore! How did it happen?" Jake squeals in delight at getting to gush like the hopeless romantic he is.
"Well it was all kind of kicked into action at Christmas....when Burt took me and Landin to the park!" Blaine starts and I cant help but get a cheesy grin on my face as he reaches over to take my hand. Ive already heard this story several times but I dont think I will ever tire of it. "He kind of just...knew that there was something on my mind and coaxed it out of me. I had known since your party that I wanted to do it but obviously hearing Burt say he agreed was the best feeling."
"You knew since Christmas and you didnt tell me?" Jake ask in shock. They had become quite the twosome recently trading secrets and worries between them both.
"I didnt want anyone to know until I decided how I was going to do it..." Blaine says with a shake of his head. "But then a certain friend went blabbing to a national magazine and it made me realise I had to do it sooner rather than later."
"So it was all because of me?" Santana drawls with pride and slurps down more of her wine.
"Well it was more to do with the not so subtle questioning our little peachy gave me after reading the article..." Blaine kisses the knuckles of the hand hes holding.
"I just wanted to make sure we were still on the right track.....you had been so careful not to bring it up since that night at the party!" I say with a sigh, knowing he was right. I was anything but subtle in my barrage of questions that day.
"Because you had given me a list of all the places I wasnt allowed to propose...I wasnt bringing it up again until I had a plan of action...." He says in defence. "Thats where Burt came in handy...he had suggested I put little poem post its everywhere like I used to do in high school. But I was worried he would think I had done something wrong."
"Yeah I remember the one from when you had fought about him seeing me..." Dale smiles at the memory and I hit my head on to a table with a groan.
"Oh the night Peachy told Bumble he could set up camp in Sebastians ass...." Santana says with a wicked gleam in her eye. "I forgot about that...oh and the time you walked in on the-"
"Tan? Dont make me enforce a baby time out!" Jake sings at her, covering Lydias ears dramatically.
"Yes! Back to the point!" I say lifting my head up off of the table to look back at Blaine with all the love I possessed.
"So then I got to thinking about all the important places in our relationship...places that had been a part of us getting to where we are now and then I thought giving him letters would mean he couldnt ask me constantly what was going on and I wouldnt forget everything I really wanted to say...." He looks at me with pure joy in his eyes. "Then I got out paper and the words just started coming!"
"So where exactly were they all? We figured Mrs B had one at the shop!" Dale asks as he dangles Lydias toy above her head to keep her amused.
"Well at first I got back to the apartment and I was mad he wasnt there...." I say as Blaine nods at me to continue. "We were meant to be having a date day but then I saw the letter and knew he was up to something...then he had me traipse to where we met again, the coffee shop down the street, the restaurant from our first date -"
"A story I will always treasure....peachy can really rock a black eye!" Santana giggles from her chair, where Landin has now crawled in to her lap to listen to every detail he can.
"Funny...to the shop and then back to the apartment....where you would think I would find my devoted boyfriend waiting..." I say with a roll of my eye. "But there was another letter instead and then when he said he was in our room I couldnt get there fast enough! And then there he was on one knee in a tux with an amazing ring!" I flash my ring again just so to emphasise its beauty even though they have all seen a picture of it.
"Then he bawled his eyes out....of course!"
"Then he did some other things!" Santana grins before flinching when I connect my foot to her leg under the table. "I wasnt going to say what!" she hisses as Landin watches us carefully.
"Did you really not have a clue?" Jake asks with a gleam in his eye.
"No!" I laugh shaking my head. "I just thought he was trying to wine and dine me or something....it wasnt until I saw him that it clicked. I just couldnt get over it! That he had gone to all this time and effort just to show that he loved me." I reach over to stroke my thumb across his cheek.
"Of course I would! I love you" He says gently leaning into my touch.
"Aunty Tan are you crying?"
"No!" she says hastily wiping at her eyes. "Im just allergic to all the cheesy romance..."
"You are totally crying!" Dale accuses her, leaning forward to stare closely at her.
"Dale leave her alone! Its not every day she realises she has a soul..." I say laughing at Landin trying to comfort her by wrapping his little arms around her neck and giving her a big kiss.
"Oh shut up! I hate you all!" She moans trying to blow her running nose as subtly as she can.
"Is it hard to be the only singleton in the group?" Jake teases leaning forward on to his hands. "Is your heart thawing out? Are you becoming a romantic?"
"Well its not like she couldnt have a girlfriend....I know of one that lives very close by and I know she likes all of her very much..." Blaine adds leaning into me to get a better look at her.
"Bite me seriously!" She hisses as the tears begin to subside.
"Totally the wrong crowd for that kind of offer..." Santana stops to think about what I have said before laughing.
"I would use some choice language right now if I didnt have my very favourite man on my knee..." She says narrowing her eyes at me. "We are trying to be friends...nothing more nothing less!"
"But the S. B. Double S!" Jake whines from her other side.
"The what?" I ask in confusion.
"Spell it out and think about what would not be appropriate for these little ears to hear..." Dale pulls Lydias ears out and nods at Landin. "Esss beee esss esss" He says in exaggeration opening his eyes really wide to stare me down. Im so confused sbss? What the hell is sbss? Is that even a real thing? Oh!
"Oh!" Blaine inhales sharply and he has obviously pieced it together at the same time as me. It seemed like for ever ago they had fallen into bed together under a pretence of the ‘slutty baby shower sex tradition but that was definitely more than friendly, if the noises we heard were anything to go by.
"No! No oh! That was a one time thing! I dont have feelings for her!" Santana says firmly squeezing Landin tight to her chest for a cuddle.
"But Santana you were adamant you hated her when she reappeared...and now you guys have....you know!" Dale sighs mindful of the two sets of alert ears also at the table.
"Theres a fine line between love and hate...." Blaine adds sarcastically.
"No there isnt and beside hates a strong feeling....I dont have any strong feelings for her anymore." Santana relays like she has on so many occasions. Its a shame really that none of us buy it.
"But Santana if you just-"
"No Kurt!" She adds fiercely.
"But she said-"
"No Kurt!"
"But what if -"
"Peachy I am not averse to sticking this fork into your eye." She picks the item in question up to weave it around her fingers menacingly.
"But think of all the double dates we-"
"No its my life!" She sighs dramatically. "I didnt stick my nose into any of your relationships....past or present!"
"Thats exactly what you did!" I moan at her.
"But Im me and youre you!" she says matter of factly as if that answers anything. "I have my Mexican third eye its never wrong." She grins tapping her long manicured nail to her forehead, Landin of course copies her.
"But if you just talked to her you could maybe have something really special..." I trail off as she brings her face close to me, the look of the devil in her eye, making me gulp in terror.
"Kurt? I love you but I dont want all this gag worthy stuff that you guys have....so please just stay out of it?" She ask sincerely but I can tell shes lying. She never could lie to me.
"Fine!" I huff but she keeps watching me. Wanting more of a promise. "I Kurt Hummel will not get involved!"
"Great! Now if you dont mind Landin and I are going to the bar to get us some cocktails!" She smiles and drags Landin with her.
"She wont give him a real one will she?" Jake whispers across the table. "Make his a virgin!" He yells at her retreating back. "Just in case..." he explains as we all watch him in amusement.
"So we really arent getting involved?" Dale asks.
"I for one appreciate my genitals far too much to push it!" Blaine says, absentmindedly covering his crotch with his hand.
"Shes lying though.....isnt she? She wants Maya...bad!" Jake says and we all nod mutely.
"I give it until thanksgiving..." I say to nobody in particular, as I catch sight of her throwing cherries into Landins mouth.