"Dad? I brought donuts!" I yell through the garage, my voice echoing off the walls. It was quieter than usual in the shop, all my dads employees were off on their winter breaks due to the lull of the holiday season. I had been down every day to help out, but I was meant to be taking today off for some down time to rest. 

"No!" I hear my dads gruff voice comes out from under an Audi where his feet are sticking out from under the bumper. 

"You know I always had the impression that you actually miss me when Im in New York…." I grin to myself as I drop the bag onto the roof of the car. "…but here I am, bringing you treats at work no less and Im met with a no from under the hood of a ‘wannabe playboys car…." I sigh dramatically against the adjoining car and hear a clatter of tools from underneath it. 

"You only bring me gifts when you want something kid!" My dad's muffled sarcastic response comes floating out from the body work.

"Not true….what about the time I brought you bagels in senior year? I didnt want anything then…" 

"That was after your weekend get away with Dale….doesnt count!" I huff out a laugh and reach blindly into the bag to get a donut and take a bite, the jelly oozing out onto my hand causing me to hum happily.

"Too bad…Ill have to eat these all by myself then…." I mumble around a mouthful, trying to catch the crumbs in my empty hand. "Theyre jelly filled too…"

"Raspberry?" He queries, still not popping out from under the car.

"Like theres any other kind!" I smile, knowing full well that he is slowly caving.

"If I come out are you going to bug me about wedding cars? Because I told you, Im on it!" He grumbles, shoving the tool box out at my feet. Success! He couldnt stay under there forever without any tools. 

"No I trust you when you say youre getting me the perfect cars for the wedding…" Because I do. If there is one thing I could trust my dad with? It was making sure I had the most perfect cars on my special day. That and making me bawl my eyes out with his wedding speech.

"Does it have something to do with the mooning faces you pull every time you see Blaine holding the babies?" His feet prop onto the ground, bending his knees to get ready to move out. I hold in a huff because of course, he has noticed! I could never hide anything from him.

"Maybe…." That came out higher than it meant to. Who knew my voice could still squeak that high without some sort of pain proceeding it? There was a roll of wheels and then my dads head popped into view, a smear of grease down his left cheek and a weary look in his eyes.

"If youre about to tell me you got Santana pregnant? Im gonna need to have the talk with you again…" He says seriously, sitting upright and pulling over another creeper and patting it, indicating for me to sit down beside him. 

"Dad do you have any idea how expensive these pants were?" I glare at him threateningly but he just shrugs.

"Dont get all prissy with me kid! Its been too long since we had a chat like this…." 

"Because the metal hurts my bony ass!" I grumble but plant myself firmly on to the creeper anyway. "Were not seriously having the sex talk again right? Because as much as I love you? Im twenty eight…"

"No we arent so stop being a grouch…." My dad chuckles, taking the half eaten donut out of my hand for a bite. "So?" 

"So?" I retaliate in a matching tone. 

"Kurt? You came here…with donuts! So dont pretend you dont want to talk to me now!" He grins, taking a bite and then frowning. "Wait Santanas not really pregnant is she? Because she was knocking back the egg nog like it was going out of fashion and I dont think Blaine would find this as amusing as the sham of a wedding you two had in Vegas…."

"My dad ladies and gentlemen…." I scream through the garage, doing a three-sixty on my creeper for effect. "Find him in your local comedy club…"

"You may be an adult? But I can still kick your ass for being smart!" My dad grins at me before swallowing the last bite of the donut.

"You wish you could reach it!" I squeal childishly, poking my tongue out at him. 

"Stop deflecting Kurt…"

"Im not!" I declare, earning me a just tell me Burt Hummel trademark look. "Okay I have kind of been feeling broody….I mean broody isnt the right word…I dont want to be pregnant obviously! But I keep having these fantasies about watching Blaine holding our baby, or dancing like a dork in front of the crib, or walking in on them both asleep on the couch all rumpled hair and rosy cheeked!" My dad doesnt answer and when I look up I can see him chewing on his finger nail, watery eyes betraying his feelings.

"Dad dont get over excited about this..."

"Im not!" He huffs childishly from under his fingers.

"You are about to cry! This is why I didnt want to tell you. I knew youd get excited about getting more grand babies…." I mutter, shaking my head at the big emotional oaf of a man thats my dad. "Can I also point out that I am the gay man? Yet youre the one crying….talk about burning down the stereotypes!" 

"But a mini Kurt baby!" Is all he can say through the happy sobs.

"No dad! Not a mini any kind of baby!" I sigh exasperated. "Will you please pull yourself together I really need your opinion…." 

"Okay get me the donuts?" He whimpers using his overall to wipe at his eyes, before happily accepting the bag I have retrieved from the car roof. "Right problem? Hit me!" 

"Okay so recently like I said I have been picturing a possible ba-" I see my dads eyes start to water again and choose to use a nickname instead. "A possible taco bell! I dont know why now, I mean we have always joked about future kids…but Blaine kind of said something a few months ago. When Jake and the kids had the gastro thing?" 

"Blaines week of torture….I remember the calls to check if Lydias diaper should be bright green…" My dad chuckles happily, taking a bite of a donut, the mental image making me heave slightly.

"Yeah well after that he - he said he was put off having a ba- taco bell!" I change quickly to avoid another emotional outburst. "I was too scared to bring it up but now I think I have to. I mean if we want a taco bell it will take us a long time, whatever method we choose, you know? Its not like I can go out and just get pre – really hungry for a taco bell. So if theres any chance we want one in the next few years we should be looking into it now or after the wedding…sussing out our options." I explain as my dad watches me thoughtfully, reaching in the paper bag for a third donut.

"But youre scared?" He asks seriously, watching me as I bite my bottom lip.

"But Im scared!" My dad nods absent mindedly and takes a bite out of the donut.

"Listen Kurt Im not gonna lie to you here…things change! People can go there whole lives thinking they want something and then suddenly realise that they dont. Its just how we mere mortals work. But youre not gonna know unless you ask!" I go to interrupt when he holds up his hand. "Im not done! So youre scared Blaine might say no? Youre forgetting the very big possibility that he might say yes…still not done! The only thing you have to ask yourself is will it change your feelings about him in anyway?" He gives a slight nod, taking another bite to indicate I can answer.

"No, of course it wont…in all my dreams for the future, every scenario has him. Hes the one constant that Im sure about. As sure as I am that my lungs keep me breathing!" 

"So youve got to ask yourself what have you got to be scared of?" Oh that father of mine. Such a genius and yet nobody else knows it in the world. What am I scared of? Its Blaine! My Blaine! My forever. If he says no then we handle it together. Like we do everything else. Thats what makes us stronger, thats what keeps us together. "Kurt?"

"Yeah?" I ask realising that at some point my dad had packed away his tools and was looking down at me still thinking on my creeper. 

"I said do you wanna go get taco bell for everyone? Im kind of craving it for some reason!" He barks out a laugh as I just shake my head.

"Mind if I hang around here for a bit?" I ask, standing up to go find my coverall.

"Like you even have to ask!" My dad gives my shoulder a firm squeeze in the passing. "Im going to head out, but if some magic Christmas elves want to make a start on that Chevy in the corner I wouldnt mind!" He shouts loudly, going out through the office and closing the door behind him. 

*********************

Its funny how using your hands can really make the time pass by. I mean when Im designing I feel like that, its my true calling in life of course. But there is just something about getting your hands into a Chevy engine that is peaceful almost. Taking it apart and putting it back together piece by piece. There was a reason I spent so much time here growing up and not just so I could watch all the trust fund boys bringing in their newest Porches for a service. Although that was also a big part of it too. It made you feel like nothing was permanent, you could change anything, all you had to do was take a look at the parts that werent working right and change them. 

"Well isnt that a sight for sore eyes…." I grin at the sultry tone of Blaines voice, not turning around to look at him, instead keeping my head firmly under the bonnet. 

"Sorry were closed!" I try to act nonchalant as a hand grazes across my ass. 

"But I could really do with a full body service…" 

"Oh my God!" I break into a giggle turning around to come nose to nose with Blaine, a very smug smile on his face. "Does that line work on every mechanic in town?" I perk my eyebrow high above my left eye in question. 

"Theres only one that gets my motor running…" He shrugs, placing both hands firmly on my hips and squeezing. 

"And the lines keep on coming…do you have some kind of mechanic/helpless preppy school kid fantasy I dont know about?" 

"How dare you!" He exclaims in fake disgust. "I am a taken man you know!" He smirks as my hands wrap around his neck so I can rub my nose against his.

"Oh really?" I try my hardest to look surprised. "So it would be a really bad idea for me to kiss you then?" His gulp could have been heard from the other side of the shop. 

"Mmmhmmm…my man likes to punch people that upset me…" Blaine says leaning in to lick his tongue across my bottom lip before chasing it with a soft kiss, pulling back before it could get heated. "Nah, nothing between us!" He beams, ducking his head out of the way of my arms before I can swat at his head.

"I punched one person that upset you! Once!" I say, watching him skip to the stool sitting back against the wall and seating himself down happily onto it. "And those lines? Should never be spoken to another human being EVER again!" I turned back to busy my hands again.

"Because Im just for you and nobody else?" He coos sweetly. I can picture his hand rubbing through his carefully controlled curls. The thought alone causes an involuntary shiver to course through my body.

"Because they are awful…" I giggle, picking up the spark plugs to fix them in place, secretly loving the thrill of playing hard to get. 

"Hey! That looks like the doctors screw driver…..does it go in the twisting bit?" He asks from his spot on the stool, watching me work. I turn around swiftly to smile in amusement.

"Could you be any more hopeless?" I chuckle. "The twisty bit?"

"What? Just because your dad owns this place and you know all things mechanical!" Blaine defends, his trade mark pout fixed securely in place.

"Youve spent as much time here as me!" 

"Yeah but I was watching you!" He cries loudly. "Dont look at me like that! Even if we were best friends you cant blame a gay guy for taking every opportunity to check that ass out…although it has matured well with age!" He grins happily as I come closer, resting between his legs, and rubbing my hands up his thighs gently tickling him.

"Blaine? What are you doing here?" I ask in amusement as he gasps, his shock at me seeing straight through him. 

"Your dad thought you might want to talk?" Blaine frowns a little in confusion at his question, as if not quite sure what there is to talk about.

"Oh okay…" I sigh, going back to finish off what I was doing before resting my back against the hood of the car. 

"I kind of feel whatever is wrong might be my fault…." Blaine starts. "Ive been a pest right? I forgot to take the garbage out before we left and, I mean, I try to keep the apartment clean but you like things in certain places and I forget where you say they should go. I know Ive not been much help with the flowers, but seriously? How can you choose between three white flowers? They all look the same Kurt and I-"

"Whoa! Rants are kind of my thing!" I shout over him, waving my arms to get his attention. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask quietly, feeling shy for some reason, which I know is ridiculous. This is Blaine.

"You know were already engaged right?" He laughs at my tone and nervous energy. "I put love letters in our important places and I got down on one knee….we had sex, for like….a whole day after it! We are kind of planning a pretty important event because of it?" 

"Do you want a baby?!" I blurt out. Its not like prolonging it would help anything. I just wanted to know, and... Oh and Blaines frowning. Oh I shouldnt have blurted it out like that! Stupid idea. Stupid fucking idea Kurt! 

"Errrrmm…"

"Look I know we used to always talk about it vaguely." I explain, watching him with warm eyes. "But recently Ive been having all of these – I dont know how to explain it – urges? When I look at the twins and Lydia…and when youre playing Spiderman with Landin? Oh my God it just melts my heart! I know, believe me I know now isnt the best time to talk about this…the wedding and things, but its not like we can just get drunk and make a baby, you know? It will take time and planning AND MONEY! I guess I just want to know what you think about it all." Blaine for his part has sat opening and closing his mouth as I ramble. I dont really blame him to be honest. Ive went slightly baby fever crazy I think.

"Kurt can I be really honest with you? I dont know how I feel about kids anymore…" This is okay Kurt! You said it wouldnt change things, what will is the fury Blaine is going to receive if he doesnt stop scuffing his new shoes on the ground! 

"Because of when the kids and Jake were sick? You said it put you off…." I fidget awkwardly with my hands to give me something to do. 

"Well it did for a few days….I mean I could gag just thinking about it now! But then Landin made me that thank you card – the one with all the glitter? - And it sort of made me forget how horrific the previous few days had been!" He started fiddling with a wrench on the workbench beside him. He was worried, Blaine was always twitchy when he worried about things. "Okay so its not that I hate kids! How could I? They are hilarious and all the little things they ask? Too cute for words! I just…I guess Im just…" 

"Youre scared!" I whisper, finally getting it in that moment. But Im not accusing him for it, just letting him know that I understand. Im over to him as quickly as I see his bottom lip being pulled at by his teeth. Grease on his Christmas sweater be damned as I pull him in tight against my chest. "Bee what are you scared of?" I coax, stroking my cleanest hand through his lightly gelled hair to calm his nerves.

"Everything!" He gulps into my chest. "Not being good enough, not even being given a chance because of my issues, letting you down, letting myself down and most importantly letting a child down!" 

"Blaine….." I hum softy into the top of his head. "Why didnt you tell me you were thinking like that?" 

"I didnt think I had to until I knew for sure you wanted them…"

"Hey you listen to me okay?" I pull back and take his head in my hands so we are face to face. "I would love to have children. Raising a family with you? That would be all kinds of wonderful….but you know one thing I know for definite? I love you! More than anything and if you are genuinely this worried and scared about it then we wont have kids. I can live without them if it means I get sixty more years of having you happy and secure and most importantly in my life!" I tip my head forward to kiss his cheek and wipe away a stray tear before pulling back again to look at him. 

"Really?" Those big brown eyes are so full of love and wonder, they look relieved and a little sad at the same time. 

"Of course! But I just want to add that you would be the greatest dad in the world….just watching how you are with our niece and nephews shows that. The fact that youre worrying about how your problems with drink would affect you being one just shows how considerate and loving you are! But I meant what I said! I wont push this now I know how you feel.” I watch him blink slowly, processing everything I am trying to say. “If you change how you feel then you can come to me and talk about it, if you never change your mind then thats okay too. Just know that I love you. No matter what. I always will…." I place a firmer kiss to his lips this time and he moves back enough so he can talk. 

"Are you sure? Because I dont know if I can ever promise that we will have them one day…I dont want you to wake up and just realise that you resent me for not giving you this…" Blaine says with honest wide eyes, and I feel horrible that he could think I would resent him for his own beliefs.

"I could never resent you! You are the other half to my whole!" I say seriously, urging him to believe me. If the grin that splits across his face is anything to go by he definitely does. "Besides….we can always steal Landin and Lydia for a night and then give them back when they are tired and cranky….its our right as uncles!" Blaine pulls me forward to kiss my lips again and then sighs deeply, still grinning as he pulls away. 

"I really dont know what I did to deserve you……but since Im here do you want some help?" He asks innocently, his puppy dog stare gazing up at me. 

"You know nothing about mechanics…." I remind him, causing him to laugh. 

"But I know I would love to dip my stick and check your oil…" He grins, looking down to his crotch as I swat his head.

"You are ridiculous…." I say, walking back over to finish the last few things I have to do. 

"Hey is your dad a mechanic?" He asks loudly and I can hear him moving around at the back of me. "Because you have a finely tuned body-"

"Blaine? Go home! Ill see you when I get there!" I giggle softly as I hear his footsteps getting further away. 

"Hey Kurt?" He yells again and I can just make his head out around the edge of the doorway. "Do you have a band aid?"

"What?" I swear that man of mine is a disaster in a work shop…why would he need a band aid just from walking through it?!

"I just grazed my knee when I fell for you again…." I can see the gleam of white teeth even through the distance.

"Youre officially single now!" I screech back, dramatically rolling my eyes and placing my hands on my hips for effect.

"Love you too!" And with a slam of the front door hes gone. 

**************************

Christmas had definitely been just what the doctor ordered. Time with family, good food, even better company and no stressful wedding talk. Well if you dont count the time I wrestled Finn to the floor for suggesting we just walk to the wedding….walk! I swear I dont know how Rachel could put up with him. Going back to the below freezing temperatures of the city had been hard, due to Limas unseasonably warm weather during the festivities. The fact that I had this day to look forward too however, made it all worth it. 

Rachel had flown out for the weekend to be here, while Finn stayed at home to watch the twins, Santana was also here despite the grumbling about having to pack her case before getting on another plane on Monday, Maya had been bribed with a bottle of Sailor Jerry after citing she would have to be intoxicated to enjoy it in any way. Then there was Dale who had graciously offered to bring Lydia as long as I didnt get him to model anything pink which is when I hit him on the shoulder and ranted to him that the wedding colour was jade…for the umpteenth time. 

We were all currently taking over the living room of the apartment with several dress maker dummies, yards upon yards of materials and copious amounts of food of course. What was I so excited for you ask? Bridesmaid dress fittings! Oh yes, the day had come and in just shy of six months I would be married. My outfit was nearly completely finished and Maya, after arguing for three weeks, four days and five hours (of course I counted), had convinced me that it was only fair for her to make Blaines tux and the grooms-mens outfits, with Blaines input of course so that I had a surprise too. As a result I was banned from visiting Mrs B unannounced, where apparently satin had taken over for the foreseeable future! 

"Kurt darling? Where oh where did you put my purse?" Mrs B announces from her chair of honour in the corner, where she had been throwing witty remarks about the ensembles where she saw fit. 

"I put it in the bedroom why?" I ask off handedly, while fiddling with the straps on Rachels dress. "Hold still!" I gritted out as she wriggled under my touch. 

"I will if you stop trying to pin in my chest!" Rachel spits back, holding the fabric across the front of her body. 

"Well tell your boobs to stay in one position and I wont have to!" I gripe through my teeth as I finally get the pin to hold so that her cleavage would turn heads….well of a room full of straight guys anyway. 

"Kurt I need my bag! I dont want to disturb princess beau from her nap, can one of you guys go?" Mrs B asks gently. 

"Ill go Mrs B!" Santana smiles happily as she skips off into my room. I place one more pin into the dress before stepping back to admire my work. 

"Wow Rachel…you look hot!" Maya exclaims loudly, whistling softly for effect. 

"Who knew after breastfeeding my chest could look better than they did when I was seventeen?" Rachel asks flabbergasted as she twists to see her profile in the mirror.

"Picture of elegance…and then you start with the talk of breast feeding!" Dale sighs, holding his shudder in. "You just ruined it within seconds!" 

"Oh pipe down granddad!" Santana yells from behind him as she reappears holding Mrs Bs bag. "You have a daughter! Might as well get used to all the boob talk now before you have to go bra shopping!" She grins happily to herself before stripping her dress off to stand in her underwear and looking at me. "Where do you want me?"

"Just beside Rachel and then Ill help you step into your dress…." I say reaching behind me to the make-shift rail to find her garment bag. 

"Then I can help you step back out of it…." Maya wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she cups Santanas ass. 

"No you wont be!" I snip primly. "The only person responsible for the dresses until AFTER the wedding is me!"

"So after your saying I can tear it right off of her…" 

"Do that?" I say daring her to challenge me. "And when I help with your wedding outfits? I will put a giant snag in it right at your chest…." 

"Fine by me…I dont want to get married anyway!" Maya sticks her tongue out playfully. 

"I have never loved you more right now!" Santana answers dreamily, pulling her in for a kiss, causing Dale to choke on his coffee.

"Do they really have to do that when she has no clothes on?!" Dale stage whispers in my direction, making me chuckle. Santana and Mayas displays of intimacy grew old when you lived with them half of the time. 

"Okay you two enough of that!" Mrs B cut across the room, making me look towards her and notice a long rectangular package wrapped up on her knee. "This is a special day and since you refused a bridal shower-"

"Because Im not a bride!"

"Yes darling point taken!" Mrs B rolls her eyes at me before continuing. "But I wanted to buy you a little something to remember today, something that you will find useful in your married life. I love you!" She says happily, thrusting the parcel into my hands. I look at it with a huge smile on my face, sitting down onto the couch beside Dale. 

"Again…Do we have to be doing this while she has no clothes on?" He grimaces to where Santana has started swaying to the music in the background but I tune him out looking at the parcel in my lap. I tear the side open carefully, flexing my fingers before unravelling the cream and gold paper to find my eyes going wide as the box sits in my lap. I cant believe her. Dale seems to realise what it is at the same time and bursts into fits of uncontrollable laughter, causing Rachel to lean in and squeal in surprise when she reads the label. I sit staring at the offending item, blinking a few times to make sure I havent read it wrong. Nope. Its still there.

"Holy shit!" Santana cackles before high fiving Mrs B, causing Maya to come over and see what all the fuss is about. 

"Gran! You absolute genius!" She explains before leaning in to whisper to me. "Ill take it off of your hands if you want?" Rachel squeals loudly again and Dale finds a new wind of hilarity in the situation. 

"You will not! This is a present for Kurt and Blaine!" Mrs B scolds her. "Marriage can be difficult…" 

"So you bought me the…." I pause to read the label. "Horny boy three thousand?" 

"Oh my God! Best engagement gift ever!" Santana huffs through her mirth, while Dale - seemingly forgetting that Santana is in fact void of any clothes - gets up to jump in happy circles with her. 

"Kurt darling dont look so offended!" Mrs B continues seriously, as if this were a run of the mill gift. "Marriage brings stress….and with stress comes the inability to perform….you know sexually?" She leans into Rachel who hides her face in her hands, before slumping down beside me. Bridesmaid dress forgotten in the chaos. 

"Oh my God! I think I might pee!" Maya squeals before taking her own dress off – why Im not quite sure – and joining Dale and Santanas happy dance. 

"Oh relax! You young ones are all so prudish when it comes to these things!" Mrs B continues with a shake of her head. "Everyone enjoys an orgasm…I dont see why you all feel the need to pretend otherwise….Its top of the range you know? Meant to stimulate your prostate and your G spot at the same time! Did you know that could happen for a man?" I gape in horror between her and the box for a minute.

"No…I …." I mumble, not knowing quite what to say. So I say the only thing I can think of. "Thank you!" 

"Thank you for the vibrator….” The three adults, who could be mistaken for teenage girls at this moment cackle in unison. 

"I think Ill go and get the wine…." Rachel excuses herself to the kitchen. Yes wine, wine will solve everything. 

**********************************

I was late home from work and a bit surprised to see that everyone was now drunk in the living room when I entered. Jake had text me saying he was joining the party after his mom had got the kids but I hadnt understood at the time why he was telling me. Hadnt Kurt said they were doing dress fitting today? So why were our friends and family currently dancing to Prince in the living room? Where was Kurt come to think of it? Then I heard a noise and made my way into the kitchen and stopped at the doorway. There was my husband to be dancing around in just a shirt and briefs, scooping cookies off of a baking tray. God I loved him.

"Care to explain why two lesbians and your sister in law are currently parading around in their underwear?" I ask in amusement and laugh when Kurt turns around in surprise, cookie dough smeared across his face. 

"Youre home!" He squeals, before diving into my arms and wrapping his legs around my waist. I cant resist licking the batter from his cheek and humming in appreciation. 

"You taste awesome…." Kurt replies with a hasty kiss, pulling back with a smile. "So the naked girls?"

"Oh! We kind of got drunk! Is that okay?" Kurt asks shyly. 

"Yes Kurt stop worrying…" I reassure him as best as I can. "What happened to the dress fittings?" 

"There was a complication!" He sighed dramatically, rolling his blue gleaming eyes. "Rachels staying until Monday to try again!"

"Okay…." I ask still trying to work out exactly why the clothing seems to be optional at this party. "So what is the clothes situation?" I have to grip his waist tighter to keep him from falling as he flails happily in my grip.

"We were teaching Dale what parts of a girl are beautiful!"

"Should I be worried or-" I trail off in amusement at his enthusiasm for this subject.

"No no no no!" Kurt says firmly, grabbing my head closer to him and resting our foreheads together. "I just love your body! Girls are pretty…but their chests are all wobbly!" His nose is wrinkled, in the most adorable fashion. 

"Good! I was worried you might be turning straight on me…" I joke as he shakes our heads together.

"Oh no! I can get hard right now if you need me to!" Im worried he might be serious. "Mr Kurt Hummel to be?" 

"Yes Kurt?" 

"Can we not ever be old and boring and not have sex?" 

"Luckily for you…" I start with a huge grin across my face. "I find it hard not to touch you when youre around!"

"Yay! Thats why youre my favourite!" He cheers as he kisses me once more before throwing himself back onto his feet and makes to move out the room. I follow him with my eyes as he sways past the kitchen table and then a black box catches my eye, on closer inspection I furrow my brow and turn to shout after him before he disappears. 

"Kurt? Why do we have a horny boy three thousand?" He spins around to watch me pick it up and take in the garish lime green object hidden inside. 

"Bridal shower present!" He shrugs, not finding it disconcerting in the least.

"Were not brides…"

"I know but Mrs B gave me it for when your cock doesnt work!"

"And why wont it work?" I cry in humiliation at the fact our friends have all clearly seen this.

"Married, stress, no sex…" He mumbles as an answer. 

"Kurt?" 

"Hmmm?"

"When everyone leaves tonight? Im going to show you how well it works!" Kurt gasps in shock before running out of the kitchen towards our friends.

"EVERYBODY OUT! BLAINE WANTS TO FUCK ME!" I groan into my hands at the lack of discretion my future husband has before dumping the present into the bin. 

*******************

After spending most of Sunday wallowing in my own hangover and binge eating left over take out like I hadnt eaten in days, Monday came with a new bout of energy as the girls all came over for their dress fittings. Again. Blaine had made himself disappear, muttering excuses of seeing enough naked girls over the weekend to last him a life time and shivering at the thought of Mrs B bringing in a new gift if she saw fit. I smiled to myself thinking about the bruises littering my hips from him showing me just how much I didnt need anything but him to get off as I pinned the last few parts of Rachels bodice flush against her body. I was proud of what I had achieved.

Maya and Rachel had matching dresses. Colour matching our tie material perfectly, the Jade lace was pulled tight against their bodies in an empire line top, sleeves sitting off of the shoulder. Enough to be sexy without being slutty, or so Mrs B had said. The bottom was a matching silk fabric which glided down all of the curves to pool at the floor. 

Lydias dress was beyond perfection. White with a matching sash across the waist, the bottom layer had been double lined with organza and hid white and jade coloured petals inside, which bounced around as she waddled happily holding her matching jade basket with a white ribbon tied into a bow around the handle. 

Santanas dress had taken the longest. Now she stood before me with the excess material pinned in place I realised why. She looked beautiful. Her dress was completely different from the other two. I had used a nude colour to be the base of the dress, which hugged her body tightly before fanning out into a fish tail at the bottom. Over the top I had hand stitched a darker jade lace and sequins to the main bodice and added small parts of the material to the hem of the dress to tie it all together. Months of preparation didnt leave me prepared for this, seeing them all standing with toilet paper bouquets to complete the look. I felt tears burning at my eyes. Desperate to come out. 

"Peachy dont cry!" Santana said softly before breaking into an enormous grin. "We all know Rachel doesnt have a lot going for her! Ill just hold up my bouquet in front of her face so it doesnt ruin the pictures on the day! Problem solved!”

"Santana! That is so uncalled for!" Rachel bickered back. Four hours of my scrutiny for the perfect fit had given them long enough to gripe and groan at one another. Our patience was being tested thats for sure.

“Or even better we could stick this in front of her face and no one would even pay attention to the wedding party!” Maya revels in delight swinging the box (that Blaine had sworn he put in the bin) in front of me. 

“Where the hell did you find that?” I blush, is this vibrator seriously making an appearance at another dress fitting. 

“Please tell me you aren't waving that around in front of my innocent child eyes?” Jakes whispers trying to distract Lydia on the floor with her basket. He had to bring Lydia as Dale was busy with work. Which I know for a fact was an excuse to play solitaire on his office computer instead of watching the girls naked more than he already had.

“Oh relax it's in the box! She won't know what's inside it!” Maya argues back waving it for effect before looking right at me. “We found it in the kitchen bin…you must have misplaced it…” 

“They found it! Not me!” Rachel squealed in defence.

“I think you were the one that suggested we look for it to read the instructions!” Santana points at her with her ‘bouquet'. 

“No I asked how it would stimulate both parts at the same time….Maya was the one who said we should find it!” Rachel argues back.  “Then you said we should force Kurt to test it so we could see!”

“Okay I don't really care how you found it…” I sigh out through gritted teeth. “What I would like to know is why you thought you would offer it back to me again?”

“What is your problem with it anyway?” Maya turns her attention to me, putting the box in front of my eyes. “It's top of the range we googled it!” 

“They googled it not me!” Rachel added, trying to remain Switzerland in this debate. 

“Please? Like you don't own a couple of your own for when Finn is on the couch!” Santana grins when Rachel presses her lips together to stop talking.

“I just don't like the thought of having a toy bought for us by our nearly eighty year old next door neighbour….Every time we used it I would picture…all that!” I wave my hand at Maya's crotch area for effect. 

“I agree with Kurt on this one! Buying them for yourself is acceptable…Other people not so much!” Jake pipes in having distracted Lydia with a cell phone. 

“Really?” Santana queries from her spot, a sly grin plastered to her face. “So you don't use the butt plug that Kurt had to buy for Dale when you first started going out because he was too embarrassed to buy it for himself?” Oh shit I had kind of forgot about that. 

“What?!?” Jake shrieks looking at me with wide eyes. 

“Totally different! Dale bought it with his money but there was an older woman at the cashier point and you know how he gets…I just had to do the actual transaction!” I explain as Jake blinks a few times to take the new information in. “Now enough of this…Put that away and lets finish with these dresses and try to have some class!” I say to the girls, realising they are taking in the box description with great care. 

“Well I'm not throwing it out…that is a complete waste of the penis models time….it's like going to the Guggenheim and not looking at the Mona Lisa!” Maya says seriously.

“The Louvre…”

“Whatever Kurt! I just can't throw it out!” Maya answers again before looking at Rachel. “You're married with kids you take it!” thrusting the box into Rachel's horrified hands. 

“But it's for gay men…” 

“Look at it this way Rach…” Santana explains with a pat to one of her shoulders. “You spent most of high school with a giant pole up your ass….this is just its replacement!”

“Santana!” Rachel growls dangerously low as Jake decides to step in.

"Girls please dont start a brawl in front of my child?" Jake asks seriously from the corner he has been sitting in since his little revelation. "You are the only female influences she has in her life and I dont want her to think its acceptable to throw punches in Kurt Hummel couture…" 

"No punches!" I squeal hastily in case they get any ideas, blood stains do not go well with these colours. "Lydia do you like your dress?" I ask, bending down to watch her throwing the make shift petals at everyone. 

"Kat!" She giggles happily, throwing a few into my face. "Kat pretty dress!" 

"Well thats one seal of approval…" I joke before looking at Maya. "What do you think?"

"I think its great…" She starts with a quick glance at each of the creations. "I mean now I know why people say its better to be a bridesmaid for gay guys…brides always want you to look uglier than them…hence the disgusting bridesmaid dresses….you on the other hand think we are trolls anyway so make the extra effort to make us look good."

"Girls not wrong…." Santana chirps in from the mirror she is now posing in front of. "I will definitely be getting laid in this dress…." 

"You would be getting laid in or out of it anyway…" Rachel grumbles. "I bet Finn could walk right past me in this dress and not realise it was me!" 

"Until you open your mouth and let out a scream every dog in the world could hear …" Jake mumbles – not so quietly – under his breath before turning to look at me. "You did good Kurt!" I smile happily and heave a sigh of relief. One more thing crossed off of the to do list means Im one step closer. 

"Okay girls gently take off your dresses and put them back into your garment bag –”

"HONEY IM HOME!!!" Comes from the front door and everyone chuckles at Blaines antics. "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU TOO!" 

"Quick dresses off!" I whisper as the girls stuff them back into the bags and Santana runs into her room with them all. "We are in the living room!" I call back to him and hear his footsteps stop quickly outside the door frame. 

"ARE THEY ALL NAKED?!" Blaine yells in exasperation.

"No just Lydia!" I giggle as Santana tip toes over to the door ready to pounce on him when he walks in. 

"THANK GOD!" Comes in reply before I see him walk around the corner and scream as Santana grabs him tightly, making sure to rub her scantily clad body over as much of him as possible. "SANTANA! JUST EWW-"

"Meow!" Blaine is cut off by a tiny little squeak and we all stop in our tracks. 

"KAT!" Lydia claps her hands excitedly, waddling over to Blaine. "KAT! KAT! EOOOOW!" 

"Blaine? Honey? Please tell me you dont have a cat in your coat?" I ask seriously. Santana, Maya and Rachel all make feeble attempts of excuses before running out of the room. Lydia for her part is now on all fours crawling around Blaines feet and meowing at sporadic intervals. 

"I dont have a cat in my coat…" Blaine states, an abashed look on his face.

"Then what prey tell? Just meowed?" I cross my arms sternly as Jake manages to grab Lydia and run after the girls. Blaine looks down at his feet mumbling under his breath. "What?" 

"Its just a teeny, tiny, little kitten…" He explains, pulling a hand out to show me the surprise as he put it. 

"Get it out now!" I wail already feeling my eyes twitching, they were puffing up, and I could feel it. 

"Kurt please just listen to me?" Blaine says coming over to sit down beside me. The offending fur ball I realised was a grey tabby with little white tufts under its chin, no bigger than Blaines had. 

"Dont bring it closer! You know Im allergic!" I shout, making the kitten twitch in Blaines hand. "Look my eyes are already getting huge!" I say pointing to my eyes. 

"Youre fine! Youre not allergic Kurt!" 

"Yes I am! I have been ever since I was little!" I argue back, my palms are sweating, God I need to open a window. 

"No youre not! You had a cat called kitten – very original by the way – your mom got you it!" Blaine argues back, pulling the kitten into his face to rub his nose across its fur. 

"Yes which I had to get rid of after mom passed! BECAUSE IM ALLERGIC!" I shout the last few words for effect. "Ask dad!" 

"I did and he told me you were too sad to keep it because it reminded you of her…" He says gentler this time. Of course he would have spoken to my dad about this before me. "Thats why you say youre allergic so you cant have another one." 

"And yet you thought it would be a good idea to bring it here?" I ask, my voice laced with venom. 

"Look I didnt plan it! But I found him out the back of the club a few days ago…." Blaine says watching me carefully. "I kept him there hoping his mom would come back but she hasnt Kurt! I took him to the vet and he said he needed looking after…hes only six weeks old! Hes just a baby that needs looking after." I dont look into Blaines eyes, knowing what I will find there. Instead I watch the little kitten try to move around in his hand. He is kind of cute. So small and alone, he needs nursing back to health for sure.

"He can stay until we can find a home for him! Thats it!" I say evenly. 

"Pepper….I called him Pepper…." Blaine says carefully, scratching behind the tiny ear. "Thank you for letting me keep him." 

"Only till hes old enough to go to someone else….And definitely no sleeping on our bed!"

"Me or the cat?" Blaine asks jokingly. 

"Tonight? Both of you!" I say firmly getting up to go find something suitable for the cat to drink. "If he scratches any of the furniture hes gone!" 

“Does that mean I can use this then?” He asks throwing the boxed vibrator in to my hand.

“Not while you're on punishment no!” I shout back striding with purpose to our bedroom with it instead. “Maybe I'll test it though as your replacement just in case.” Slamming the door behind me to ignore him.

“You better be worth missing out on sex Pepper!” Blaine sighs softly as the kitten looks up at him with scared eyes. “I don't think I'll  be getting any for a while!”