Nov. 19, 2016, 6 p.m.
The Story Of How I Got Hitched: Awkward Encounters
E - Words: 4,456 - Last Updated: Nov 19, 2016 Story: Complete - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Feb 08, 2014 - Updated: Feb 08, 2014 209 0 0 0 0
Next time:
"Where do babies come from?"
It had taken just two weeks since the baby shower for my life to take a turn for the worse and leave me sitting with puffy eyes and a running nose on our couch. Meaning that no matter how much as I hated to do it, I was calling Burt Hummel aka Super Dad in the hopes of advice and endless years of wisdom. As much as I hated him knowing things were wrong, he was the only one who I trusted in these sorts of situations. Well except Dale who I couldnt get a hold of....and somehow I didnt think Mrs Bs advice of threatening knife wounds would help the situation. So there I was listening to the dull dial tone of my dads garage hoping he wouldnt pick up, while really needing him to.
"Hummel tyre and lube?" My dads gruff voice comes through the phone and I feel the warmth of his love spread through me.
"Hey Dad! How are you?" I try to be as bright as I can.
"What do you want?" My dad asked, not pulling any punches.
"Charming! Cant I just phone to catch up?" I yell back, a little annoyed that my dad thinks I would only phone him because I want something. Even though, I kinda do.
"You can. But throughout the day when youre normally too busy to stop and even eat? What do you want?"
"I eat!" I huff, glaring down the phone at my dad, even though he cant see it.
"A salad leaf doesnt count kid." My dad laughed.
"I just like to be healthy." I countered, pouting a little.
"Fine whatever! Back to the subject, what do you want?" My dad sighed, clearly knowing he wasnt going to win that argument with me. I sighed loudly. Even though I had been the one to make the call in the first place, I was now a little reluctant to share. Because then it would make what happened all the more real.
"Okay, Ill tell you..."
******************
Do I really want to phone Cooper? Well I need advice and I cant very well call Jake.....Hell tell Dale and then I might as well tell everyone else! But do I really want Coopers help? He has no morals sometimes.....what if I dont like what he says? What if I do like what he says? That settles it! I inwardly sigh as I pick up my phone and listen to the rings before I hear a groan come through from Coopers end.
"Coop?" I ask hesitantly.
"What is it Squirt?" Cooper asked me, using the nickname I absolutely despise. Yeah, I was shorter than the average male. Not everybody needs to go about it all the time though and give me annoying nicknames to do with my height.
"Dont call me that!" I hissed down the phone and hear him chuckle back, knowing that he annoyed me, which is exactly what he was intending to do.
"Well why are you phoning me so early?"
"Its noon where you are." I told him, rolling my eyes.
"And I didnt get in till six. Its still night time."
"Work or play?" I asked cheekily, teasing him back a little to get my own back.
"A bit of both..."
"Youre ridiculous!" I chuckled at my brothers lifestyle choices.
"And yet you still phone me for advice. Wait, what have you done wrong?" Cooper asked, sounding a little weary.
"Why do you assume Ive done something wrong?" I huffed indignantly.
"Just a feeling..." I could sense him shrugging on the other end of the line and I sighed in frustration.
"Urgh fine! You got me."
"I knew it. Just let me grab some water. My head is splitting and my back feels like a wild cats gone rogue on it." My brother gabbled on, revealing a bit too much for my liking...
"Ewww, too much information!" I cried.
"Please, like Kurts not a biter." Cooper teasingly responded, chuckling lightly.
I blushed as I reminisced about the time Kurt gave me a hickie. Your boyfriend gets drunk and ties you to a chair before assaulting your neck one time....and people cant let it go. This is why you shouldnt get drunk at family functions.
"He gave me a hickie once-"
"A huge one that stayed for a week!"
"Whatever! Will you listen or not?" I growled, starting to get exasperated by my brothers ramblings.
"Im all ears little bro. Hit me!"
*****************
"Kurt?" My dad asked in a questioning tone. All I could do was reply in kind. "Yeah?"
"In order for you to tell me whats going on, you kind of have to speak. You know, words out of the mouth?"
Well, it was now or never, so I plunged into the story straight away with no hesitation. "Right. So I was in the studio today doing some fittings for this politicians son."
"What politician?" My father interrupted, irritating me no end.
"What? Its not relevant to the story." I huffed, hoping my father would just drop it from the slightly threatening tone in my voice.
"Okay! Okay! Continue please?"
"Right. So I was doing a fitting on a suit for some black tie event he was having to attend. Ive had him in a couple of times over the last few weeks. His parents are on at him to start making an appearance at these things now hes twenty one and an adult and hes an artist, so doesnt really like all this high class stuff, but feels he sort of has to do it since his parents support him so much. So Ive been trying my hardest to make outfits that really express him, trying to understand him as a person, to get his personality to shine through in my designs."
"Hold on, support him? Being an artist?" My dad interrupted again and I sighed. This was obviously the type of story he wasnt going to just listen to until the end.
"Well yeah, and helping him through coming out and stuff. His dad has kept all the gay rights stuff his main priority in his campaigns." I explained getting antsy. I just wanted to blurt out the rest of the story now and be done with it.
"Sound like a good man. So whats this guy like?" I knew my dad was fishing for more information and who was I to ignore his wishes?
"Hes really nice. A genuinely nice person, you know? And not full of himself, even though hes been brought up in this high class family, hes like totally down to earth. And his drawings are, like, out of this world. He uses all this chalk and pastels to create blurred city outlines with a person in the foreground. They are amazing! He made one for the shop as a sort of thank you." I proudly announced. I loved the picture he had done for me. When a pause descended down the phone, I frowned.
"Whoa. Sounds like someones made an impression on you." My dad quietly responded.
"Dad, dont say it like that....." I whined.
"Like what?"
"Like Ive got a crush on him...... Im with Blaine." Why did everyone think that I liked this guy just because I found him interesting and talented? Even my dad.
"Kurt Im not saying anything. Im just stating that you have spent most of this call rambling about this guy, instead of getting to the point."
"His name is Will by the way, and anyway this kind of is part of the story. So anyway, I was finished with the alterations and he was getting changed out of the clothes so we could do the next look, and he um...well..." Kurt stuttered at the end, blushing furiously now and not knowing how to tell his father this part of the story.
"Did he force himself on you?" My dad asked, sounding worried and a little angry.
"What? No dad! He kind of asked me out and I just stood there shocked, not really knowing what to say, but before I could do anything I saw Blaine standing at the door and-"
My dad cut me off mid-sentence, his voice booming down the other end of the line. "Hold on this guy asked you out knowing you had a boyfriend?"
"Well no. He didnt know about Blaine." I supplied.
"Why not?"
"Hes a client dad. I dont need to tell him things about my personal life. Besides, it never came up anyway." Kurt shrugged, wondering why his dad was being so aggressive in his questioning.
"Kurt, do you like this guy?" What?
"NO! No way! You know, you sound just like Blaine right now." I bit back, regretting it as soon as the words came out.
"Well maybe theres a reason for that..."
******************
"Hold on, so this guy, he was just standing in his underwear asking out your boyfriend?" Cooper asked incredulously, sounding like he didnt quite believe what he was hearing.
"Yeah! And Kurt didnt say anything. He was just standing there, staring at him. Not that I blame him, the guy was just a young version of Dale, but better looking. I mean nobody is as good looking to me as Kurt, but... It was the most horrific moment of my life." Blaine sniffled a little, his hurt becoming evident.
"Worse than the time you barfed on stage?"
"Yeah..." I moaned.
"What about the time you got caught getting it on in a night club via twitter photo." Cooper quizzed me, not really getting the point of where the conversation had been going.
"So not helping right now!" I shouted down the phone, exasperated with my not so helpful brother right now.
"Im sorry! Im sorry! Ill not talk again." My brother promised, but I wasnt sure whether he would stick to it.
"I didnt know what to do. I could see this look in his eye, like he maybe likes him. So I just freaked out and ran off."
"Dude, so not cool. Havent you learned by now running doesnt solve anything?" Cooper told me, making me grumble in response.
"I know, but it didnt matter anyway. Kurt followed me home and asked what was wrong so I told him. He says Im being paranoid and he doesnt have a crush on him. So I said well the guys a douche, and he said no he wasnt..."
"Well it is low to ask out a taken man, but people do worse things bro." Cooper imparted his wisdom and I rolled my eyes. He totally wasnt helping right now.
"Thats the point Coop. He didnt tell him he was living with his serious boyfriend. Said it never came up." I explained the crux of the matter in simple terms for my big brother to understand.
"And you dont believe him?"
"Coop, hes been working with him for weeks! Having coffee and talking to get an insight to him. How would it not come up when talking about their sexuality? He knew he was gay. Oh, and thats not even the best bit. I noticed a new piece of art up on the wall when I got there. It was from him. Apparently hes rich and a humble artist. As a thank you gift. Why not just pay him for his time like everyone else? He doesnt need gifts from anyone but me. I told him I didnt want him to keep it up in the shop and he said like hell he was taking it down and then I just kind of stormed out!" I could feel the trickle of a stray tear slide down my cheek before I wiped it away quickly.
"Dude, where the hell are you right now?" Cooper inquired of me, sounding like the concerned elder brother I wanted him to be.
"A coffee shop down the block. Am I being unreasonable? Does he like this guy?" I asked, sounding unsure of myself and vulnerable to say the least.
"I cant answer that bro, Im not there. But if you ask me you need to talk, actually talk about this with your boyfriend. Maybe he does have a slight crush, or maybe theyre just becoming friends of sorts, but you need to ask yourself, would he ever act on a feeling?" When my brother imparted good wisdom I knew I was in trouble. Had I been a completely jealous, boneheaded fool?
"No, he wouldnt."
"Well then, why should it matter?" I considered what my brother had asked of me. The truth is I knew it shouldnt get to me but I felt so insecure when it came to Kurt and losing him that I couldnt think rationally at all.
"Because! I love him more than anything in the world and Im terrified hes going to wake up one day and realise Im nothing but an alcoholic who just coasts by on bar gigs while he is out doing these incredible things. Im worried hes going to realise Im not good enough for him!"
"Pick up your free hand."
"Why?" I inquired, bemused at my brothers odd question.
"Just do it! Good. Now slap yourself in the face. Stop being an idiot and go talk to your boyfriend! Who loves you by the way and has done for a long time. And also, dont call yourself an alcoholic coaster. Youre talented and one of the strongest people I know. Right now youre being ridiculous. If anything, this makes you not good enough for Kurt. Go fight for him, whether you need to or not. Be in his corner, dont hide out in a coffee shop." I listened to Cooper rant down the phone to me and a small smile spread across my face. He was totally and completely one hundred per cent right.
"I think I broke my hand." I jokingly replied, glad to have had the pep talk from my brother.
"Ill break more than that if you dont stop being stupid. Go right now or Ill fly there to personally give you an ass whooping!" Cooper yelled down the phone and I got up rapidly out of my seat to leave the coffee shop, sprinting out and onto the streets of New York.
"Okay. I love you Coop."
"You too squirt." I sling my phone into my pocket and start to head back to the apartment. As slowly as I can just in case Kurt is plotting some sort of sinister punishment or worse than that having a clear out mid rage.
****************
"Hmmmm." My dad hummed down the phone, which I found to be very disconcerting.
"What dad?" I finally asked, not being able to take any more of my dads humming at my predicament.
"Kurt be honest. Do you have feelings for this guy?" I couldnt believe my ears. Had my dad really just asked that of me? I loved Blaine with all my heart and not even my dad believed me? I could feel my jaw gaping open wide in disbelief.
Snapping my jaw shut, the fury from deep within escaped me. "No I dont! Did I like having someone to talk to that shares my interests? Yes. Did I like the attention he gave me, who wouldnt? Its flattering, but I dont have feelings for him."
"Would you ever act on what you do feel?"
"Of course not, I love Blaine. I cant believe you just asked me that."
"Im just trying to see it from his point of view kid. If you were in his position and walked in on a half-naked man asking him out, what would you think?" My dads question stumped me a little but I recovered quickly. After all relationships were about trust, right?
"Id trust him. I know what he went through with Sebastian and what that did to him, enough to know he would never for a second think about cheating."
"But just think about how he will always have that nagging doubt in the back of his mind. Not because you lead him to think that, but because of his past. Hes feeling insecure and not good enough, and if you ask me you should be trying to make him feel better, not talking it through with me." At that moment I heard the door shut and saw Blaine standing awkwardly in the doorway, hands thrust deep inside his pockets.
"Listen dad I have to go. Ill talk to you later? Love you to the moon." I say, lifting my hand to motion Blaine onto the cushion beside me.
"And back kiddo. Tell Blaine I love him too." My dad hangs up and I put the phone on to the table with a sigh as Blaine sinks heavily down beside me.
"Hi." I smile softly at him and he forces a weak smile in my direction.
"Does your dad hate me now?" He lowers his gaze sadly, but I shake my head at him. "Do you hate me now?" My heart breaks thinking he would believe this is all it would take to make me not love him.
"I could never hate you. I might be hurt that you dont trust me right now, but I still love you." I pat his knee gently as his eyes find mine.
"I do trust you! I dont ever think youd cheat on me. I just...its nothing!" He sighs, shaking his head back and forth, making his curls bounce.
"Well judging the events of today I would say its not nothing." I watch him close his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut.
"I just...when I walked in today I freaked out. That guy was a fucking Adonis Kurt! And he was standing half naked while you were fitting him and he asked you out and you just stood there saying nothing...and I get it. Hes gorgeous, hes talented, youve come in every day this week saying how funny he is, or how inspiring it is to work with someone like that, and you like him. I can see it in your eyes. You do. And I know you wouldnt ever cheat, I know that, I do..." He has picked up my hand and is squeezing rather tightly with his two around it. "But I just kind of panicked because I suppose I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and you to realise how so not worthy of you I am. I mean, youre perfect and Im an alcoholic, and have all these insecurities. And I work in cat calls Kurt. Im hardly the most talented, or most attractive, or most anything. I just keep dreading the day you decide to leave me for something better." Hes trying to hold it together, but I can tell by the way hes biting his upper lip that hes going to lose it soon.
"Okay I want you to listen and listen good! There is nothing, and I mean nothing, for you to worry about, and Im sorry you saw what you did today. I was in shock because it was such an out of the blue question, not because I was considering it. And okay, fair enough, he might be attractive and talented, but you know what? I dont care! Because although he is throwing himself a huge pity party right now, I have the most perfect boyfriend in the world. Who has the most adorable black curls, liquid honey eyes, a beautiful smile, a great body and most importantly, he gets me. Better than anyone I have ever, or will ever, meet. OH! And he is the most amazing singer, piano and guitar player I have ever met, AND, as if that wasnt enough, he managed to stop drinking when he realised it wasnt working for him and hasnt touched a drop in over four years. Pretty impressive person, wouldnt you say?" I raise my eyebrow at him and he chuckles softly.
"Im sorry I freaked out on you, and I promise Im working on not running from my problems, but as long as you keep me talking and Coopers there to slap sense into me, I think I can do it." He rubbed his hands up my thighs a couple of times and rested his forehead on mine. "I love you, you know."
"Well its a good job I love you too then, huh? Do you feel better?" I place my hands around the nape of his neck to play with his curls.
"A bit. But there is something you can do to help me feel safe." He trailed off, snaking his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him, our foreheads still together.
"Really?" I smile, rubbing our noses together. "And what would that be?" I smirk as he tries to snake his tongue onto my lips and I move back just enough to be out of his reach.
"You could fuck me right here." I let out a small moan as he pulls my body flush against his own, his fingers digging in to my back.
Without another word I clutch his face in my hands and kiss him firmly, letting our tongues explore and fight one another for dominance. I feel a small whimper come out from him and surge even further into him, sliding down into his lap till I feel that bulge protruding underneath me. Blaine twitches as I rub the ass of my jeans across it a couple of times trying to follow with his hips, but I place a hand on either side of him to ensure he cant move.
"What do you want honey?" I ask breaking our lips apart. "Tell me what you want me to do?"
"Want you-want you inside me- right here!" He pants out through staggered breaths, trying to claim my lips again, but I sit up to go get supplies and he holds me tighter in his grasp.
"No dont move. Theres lube in the coffee table. Just that and you. Please Kurt!" He rolls his hips up against me, catching my own erection with his and sending a wave of pleasure through my body. I bend backwards and pull open the drawer and grab the small bottle before leaning back up to kiss him again, rolling my hips down a couple of times, not being able to resist the friction. "Clothes off. Please."
I pull his sweater off in one tug and throw it over the back of the couch and quickly dispose of my own shirt and pants before tilting up and pulling his down in one swift movement. I watch the smile grow over Blaines face as I manoeuvre him onto his back, lying the full length of the couch. He groans as I pull his legs apart and settle in between them, already spreading lube onto my fingers.
"Ive got you babe, just relax and let me take care of you..." I purr seductively as he starts to tense up at the burn of my finger pushing right in. I still for a minute, kissing his lips softly and murmuring I love you into his ear before moving in and out, stretching him open for a second finger, then a third. By the time Im crooking my fingers just where I know he likes it, he is mewling unintelligible words and moans as he writhes around beneath me. When I finally bottom out, Im still panting hard as Blaine kisses along my jaw line, holding tightly onto my back. Im just about to start moving when the unmentionable happens...
"Honey Im, oh sweet mother of fucking God!" Is screeched from the doorway. Blaines eyes snap shut and I stay frozen to the spot, not knowing how to make this better.
"Get out!" I squeal from somewhere deep inside. Im not sure how as my brain doesnt seem to be controlling my voice right now.
"Holy shit! Youre fucking on the couch!" Santana screams just as loud and although Im avoiding looking in her general direction, I hear the tell-tale sign of those Gucci shoes I picked for her. Blaines eyes are still snapped tightly shut and I try to pull out and get us a comforter to cover up, but his legs clamp down tightly around me.
"Dont move! We are both naked. Get her out. Get her out or burn her eyes out with vodka..." He whispers harshly in a panic, still not opening his eyes.
"Santana please just go back out for five minutes and let us... move." I beg, still not looking to see where she is lurking, but it turns out I dont need to as I feel breath hitting my cheek from the back of the couch.
"Why? Are you uncomfortable with this predicament?" She giggles and it takes all my will power not to glare her down as Blaine remains rooted to his current spot, his muscles clenching around my cock and I have to swallow back a moan. "I would have thought your cock would have set up camp in there by how often you guys fuck-"
"This isnt happening! This isnt happening! This isnt happening! Fuck Kurt, dont move!" Blaine squeaks as I shift and hit his prostate. Santanas giggle is laced with devilment.
"Oh its happening bumble, but not to worry Im just going to take a few snaps for Coopers benefit and maybe the dearest daddies and then I will hop off to my room to picture how hot this is going to end." I break composure to draw a level gaze at her where her chin is resting on the back rest.
"You cant hit a girl. You cant hit a girl. You cant hit a girl." Blaines mantras keep coming, refusing to direct any sentences at our best friend.
"Santana, dont you dare! Please? Just pretend you didnt see this and get the fuck out!" I growl at her, trying not to move and cause Blaine any more unwanted arousal.
"Fiiiineeeee..." She exhales, standing up and retreating towards her room, turning back for only a second, phone in hand. "Just one snap of that peachy ass before I - Now Kurt I will assume that shoe was not aiming for my head. Have fun boys!" She screeches before tearing out the way she came in. I slump my head down on to Blaines shoulder with a groan.
"Do you think if we made it look like an accident wed get less time for her death?" I ask trying to joke us out of it, but Blaine just slowly opens his eyes to glance at me.
"She wouldnt really send those pictures would sh-" But he is cut off by my phone alerting us to text messages, I reach over to blindly swipe it from the table and mentally plot out how to slip poison into her meals.
"Eh babe? I think we need to lock ourselves in our room for the rest of eternity." I thrust my phone in his face to show him the messages.
Floppy I feel we need to discuss proper texting etiquette with your room mate. Also please send scissor for our eyes. Cant erase what we have just seen... xx
Scarecrow! NIIIIIIIIIICE!!! Glad Squirt took my advice... xxx
DUDES NOT COOL! I AMOST DROPPED JAYDE!! RACHEL YELLED!!
"Fuck!" Blaine groaned from under me, throwing the phone to the floor. "Just pull out and take me to our room, never to return!"