Blaine rested his forehead against his knees, breathing heavily. Stretching out his arms, he straightened up. Blaine was thankful for the cold breeze that was whistling through the trees around him. He looked down at his watch. 25 minutes. He was getting better. Since he'd broken up with Maggie Blaine had started running. He'd run every day, his iPod in his ears, blocking out the world around him. Running made him feel better, it relieved the stress and tension of every day life. And the frustration. It had been over a month since he'd woken up next to Kurt. It was driving Blaine crazy. He'd cancelled his sessions with Dr. Wilkes. Assuring his worried parents that he didn't feel he needed them anymore.

This wasn't strictly true. But… something had changed in Blaine. It had happened whilst he was running, his breath coming out in loud puffs before him when he'd realized something. His parents were stupid. Not either one of them was intelligent. Sure, his father was a conniving asshole but he wasn't smart. This revelation hit Blaine like a smack round the face. Because his parents might not be smart but Blaine was. Blaine had been lying all his life and he'd gotten pretty damn good at it. His ability to lie was his advantage. He'd stood there, in the middle of the woods, the rain pelting down around him and realized that he didn't have to lie to himself any more. All he had to do was lie to his parents and that would not be hard.

Blaine wasn't ready to be out and proud about whom he was. He didn't want anyone to know he was gay. A big part of him still found it disgusting… but Blaine was beginning to realize he only felt that way because… well because of what happened to him. Blaine was beginning to wake up to the fact that his parents along with Dr. Wilkes had been twisting his mind, making him hate himself and… Blaine didn't want to hate himself any more. He didn't want to hurt any more. He felt tougher. Stronger. Older.

Blaine sat down on the grass. Kurt. Things were more complicated when it came to Kurt. Blaine hadn't spoken to him since their fight. They avoided each other at school, neither of them phoned or text each other. Blaine wanted Kurt. He couldn't deny that any more, every single fibre of his being screamed out for his touch every time he'd see him in the halls. When he slept at night he was plagued with flash backs of their time together. Sometimes he wondered how much Kurt remembered of what Blaine had said to him that night… Did he remember what Blaine remembered?

The problem was… Kurt deserved someone better than Blaine. Blaine knew that. Blaine didn't want a relationship, he wasn't ready. Kurt deserved a relationship. Kurt deserved someone who wouldn't be afraid to love him.

Blaine picked up his toy dog and cuddled him closely. Really, at 13, he was too old for the fluffy dog but Blaine loved it dearly. He kept it hidden under his pillow so his father wouldn't see it. He hummed quietly, breathing in the toys familiar scent. He was humming a song he'd heard on the radio that day. He usually wasn't allowed to listen to the radio but his mother had snuck it up into his room whilst his father was out. Blaine loved the radio. Happy, cheerful songs were always played; he liked listening to the broadcasters talking. He would laugh when they laughed even if he didn't get the joke. He'd nearly cried when his mother had taken it away just before his father was due home. But he continued to play the songs over and over in his head, they made him happy.

Blaine looked deep into the glass eyes of his puppy dog. Sometimes Blaine thought the toy was the only thing in the world that really understood him. He made the puppy lean down and pretended it was licking the bruises on Blaine's arms and wrists. He giggled quietly. Silly puppy. Holding the puppy under one arm Blaine examined the purple marks on his skin. Why does your skin turn purple when something hits you, he wondered? Is it because your skin is angry? Sometimes his fathers face would almost go purple when he was angry.

One of the bruises looked like a heart. Blaine traced it with his finger. He'd seen his friends with bruises on their legs. He supposed their fathers hit them too. When he'd asked Will why his father hit him… Will had replied that he'd gotten the bruise after he'd fallen off his bike and what on earth was Blaine talking about? Will's father didn't hit him. Blaine had been confused. Why didn't Will's dad hit Will? Were fathers not supposed to hit their children? Blaine's father told Blaine he deserved it. Why did Blaine deserve it but Will didn't? Blaine had gotten angry and shoved Will onto the pavement. Have another bruise. Will's mum told Blaine's mum she didn't want Blaine to play with Will any more.

A tear bubbled under Blaine's long, dark eyelashes and overflowed onto his cheek. He missed Will. He'd moved away now. His parents had taken him to another town. Blaine had watched the removal vans from his bedroom window. Will had waved at him. Blaine had waved back. Will had forgiven him for pushing. Blaine hugged the puppy closer. His door opened. His father walked in. Blaine shoved the puppy under his blanket.

"Blaine?" His father said gruffly, his breath stunk of alcohol.

Blaine stayed silent. His arms still hurt. He didn't want to be hit again. Had his father found out about the radio?

"I've brought you the radio." His father placed the radio down onto Blaine's bed. Blaine stared at him. "You can listen to it until I say its time to turn it off."

"Th-thank you." Blaine stuttered. He could hardly believe his luck. He was getting to listen to the radio again. He could play the happy songs again.

"Stop stuttering your words! Talk like a real man!" John gritted his teeth.

"Thank you father." Blaine said, biting the inside of his cheek to stop another tear.

"Better." John turned around and walked out the door.

Blaine smiled happily and turned the dial on the radio. Perhaps today would be a good day.

Kurt picked up a cheque that was poking out from Jake's bag. It was signed from John Anderson. It was a fairly large amount of money as well. Kurt frowned. What was Blaine's father paying Jake to do? Jake hadn't mentioned that he worked for John. He walked into the lounge the cheque in his hand. Jake was sitting on the sofa, a book propped on his knee. He had come over for the afternoon. Burt, Carol and Finn were all out.

"I didn't know you worked for John Anderson." Kurt said, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

Jake paused. Shit. "Yeah he pays me to do stuff around the office, you know… paperwork."

"How come you didn't mention it before?"

Jake shrugged. "It didn't seem necessary…"

Kurt put the cheque down. He chewed his lower lip. He wanted to ask if Jake had seen Blaine… or spoken to Blaine. But he didn't want to make Jake suspicious. Things were going… well. Jake had cooked Kurt dinner and it turned out he was an excellent chef. Kurt had been pleasantly surprised.

The next day they had kissed. Jake had taken Kurt for a walk through the nearby woods and whilst they were talking had leaned over and kissed Kurt… right on the mouth. Kurt had kissed him back. Blaine was ignoring him at school; he hadn't bothered to phone him or text him. Kurt was heart broken and here was Jake… someone who did want him. A pleasant change to the usual state of affairs. Jake was a good kisser. Kurt couldn't deny him that. Of course… although Kurt hated to admit it, every time Jake would kiss him all he could ever think about was the drunken kisses he'd shared with Blaine. Damn. Was that night going to haunt him forever?

Jake stood up and wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist. "He pays me well… Means I have more money to spoil you with." He smiled.

Kurt opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Jake pressed his lips against Kurt's and kissed him deeply. Kurt melted into the kiss.

"Don't let me tell you I don't want you." Blaine said quietly. "Because I do… I want you so much… I've always wanted you."

Kurt squinted his eyes shut. Shut up, shut up.

"Your beautiful… you're beautiful… you're beautiful…"

SHUT UP! Its not fair Blaine… You're not fair to make me want you and then leave me… I love you for fuck sake. Can't you just love me? Can't you just fucking love me?

Kurt pulled Jake closer, kissing him more frantically in a desperate attempt to wipe any thoughts of Blaine from his mind. Jake moaned against Kurt's mouth, gripping at Kurt's hips. Jake couldn't believe he was being paid to do this. Kurt was an amazing kisser… his lips were like silk, Jake couldn't get enough of them. He slid his hand under the bottom of Kurt's shirt. His skin was warm and soft. Jake stroked it with his fingers.

Blaine's fingers were tracing lazy circles over Kurt's hips; Kurt was mortified to find his body reacting so quickly after they had sated their desire.

Kurt gave up. It would appear no amount of kissing Jake was going to eliminate Blaine from his mind. Maybe he should just call him. Kurt pulled away. Jake looked at him confusedly, his eyelids half closed, leaning down he pressed his lips at the base of Kurt's throat and pressed little kisses there.

Blaine began to press his lips against Kurt's throat. Kurt tilted his head back and relaxed against the warmth of Blaine's skin.

Kurt pushed Jake away.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" Kurt asked, tucking his shirt back into his trousers.

Jake sighed inwardly. If only Kurt was a little less frigid. That would make this whole thing just that little bit more perfect. Jake supposed they had really been only seeing each other for a week or so… maybe Kurt just wanted to wait. That was fine… as long as Jake didn't have to wait to long. He was dying to see Kurt naked. He had a feeling it would be well worth the wait.

"We could order in?" Jake sat back down the sofa.

Blaine took one last look at himself in the mirror. He'd styled his hair, replaced his sweaty running t-shirt with a fresh shirt and his shorts with a pair of tight fitting jeans. He grabbed his cologne. As he opened his cupboard to reach for his jacket a toy dog fell to the floor. Blaine picked it up and looked at it curiously. Glass eyes stared back at him. He swallowed. Something about the dog brought back painful memories. He shoved it back in the cupboard.

Blaine had decided he couldn't fight it any longer. He had to see Kurt. He was feeling guilty about what he'd said to Kurt… He had surely hurt him. He wanted to apologize and he wanted to tell Kurt that he should find someone else. Blaine hated to think of Kurt being all alone because he was heart broken. Blaine would tell Kurt he should see other people… then at least Kurt would be happy. Then perhaps in a few years when Blaine felt more confident they'd run into each other and maybe… just maybe start from where they'd left off.

Blaine drove to Kurt's house. The drive way was empty apart from a car Blaine didn't recognize. Perhaps Rachel was over. Blaine groaned. Brilliant. He liked Rachel… he did… but by God she was annoying. He'd have to talk to Kurt outside.

Blaine knocked on the front door. The door opened. Blaine was confronted not with Rachel but with a tall blonde man, a few years Blaine's senior… he was well built, with big blue eyes and white teeth.

"Who are you?" Blaine asked, frowning. This guy was hot. What was he doing in Kurt's house whilst his parents were out?

The blonde in front of him was holding his wallet in his hand. "Your not the pizza delivery guy."

"No." Blaine growled. He could feel anger beginning to bubble in his stomach. "I'm a friend of Kurt's… is he in?"

"I know who you are."

"What? Who the fuck are you?"

"My names Jake… I'm also a um… friend of Kurt's." Jake smirked. "Your Blaine right?"

Blaine didn't like the way this Jake guy was smirking. He wanted to wipe that stupid smirk right off his stupid face.

"Where's Kurt?" Blaine tried to control himself. This was new. Blaine hadn't felt this anger before. It thrashed around inside him, burning hot, his vision blurred slightly red.

"Jake?" Kurt appeared by Jake's side. He took a double take when he saw Blaine. He stared at him. He looked good. Had he been working out? He looked… bigger some how. "Blaine…? Wh-what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What's this Jake guy doing here?" Blaine felt like he was about to explode.

Jake slid an arm around Kurt's waist. "Relax Blaine, Kurt and I were just hanging out." His fingers tightened around Kurt. He grinned.

Something in the tone of Jake's voice suggested to Blaine that they'd been doing a little more than just hanging out. That did it. Blaine completely lost control. Leaping forward he smashed his fist square into Jake's nose, sending him flying back into the hallway. Kurt yelled. Blaine ignored him. Picking up Jake by the scruff of his t-shirt he dragged him outside and hit him again.

"Blaine! Stop it!" Kurt ran forward. Blaine pushed him away. He was seeing red. Memories of his father hitting him ran through his mind. Blaine hit Jake again, this time sending him sprawling into the gravel. Blood dripped from Jake nosed and he spluttered into the dirt. He tried to get up. Blaine kicked him down again.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm. "Blaine! Blaine! Look at me… Blaine! Stop it, what's the matter with you?"

Blaine wrenched his arm free.

"Get up!" He yelled at Jake. "Get up!"

"Stand up Blaine!" John sneered, he watched his snivelling son get back to his feet. "What you can't take a hit?"

Jake scrambled to his feet. "What the fuck man! Back off!"

"What you can't take a hit?" Blaine sneered and lunged forward again. This time Jake was ready, he drew back his fist and punched Blaine square on the chin. There was an awful crunching noise. Blaine was thrown backwards into Kurt. Kurt hit the ground. Blaine got back up to his feet. He punched Jake again; Jake fell back to the ground. This time he didn't let him stand up. Drawing back his feet Blaine kicked him again and again. Kurt stood up and threw his entire body weight at Blaine, knocking him flat to the floor. Kurt pinned down his arms.

"Blaine! Stop it! Jesus Christ, you'll kill him!"

Blaine was breathing heavily. "Good." He struggled against Kurt's hold.

"Blaine, what the fuck has gotten into you?" Kurt shook his head. "You made it clear you don't want me… why can't I see other people?"

Blaine slumped down.

"Because I don't want you too." Blaine said stubbornly.

"Oh I suppose I'm supposed to just wait around for you to get drunk so you can fuck me and leave me again?" Kurt looked disgusted. He got to his feet.

Yes. Yes that's exactly what I want. Except I wont leave you this time Kurt… I promise…

"No… I just…" Blaine stood up and looked sheepish. "Can we talk Kurt… I… I owe you an apology."

Kurt pulled out his phoned and dialled for an ambulance. Pressing the phone to his ear he knelt down beside Jake. Blood coated his face. His eyes were closed, but Kurt could see that he was breathing. Kurt turned to Blaine.

"Add it to the list of things you need to apologize to me for." Kurt said quietly. He gave the location to the emergency service man. They'd be here in five minutes. Kurt shut his phone; gently he manoeuvred Jake's head onto his lap. He stroked his head softly. Blaine watched this tender exchange, he felt sick.

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "I'm sorry… I don't mean that… you… you don't need to apologize to me… but Blaine, what does this mean? Why did you come to my house? Why did you break up with Maggie? Do you… Did you… want to try us again?"

Excellent questions. Blaine didn't have any of the answers.

Kurt let out a happy sigh; he had lost count of how many times Blaine had taken to the dizzying heights on desire that night. All he knew is that he could no longer move his legs. And it felt good. It felt really, really good.

"Kurt?" Blaine said quietly into the darkness.

"Mmmm?" Kurt mumbled back, his eyes closed, desperately trying to catch his breath.

"Have you done this before?"

Kurt paused and opened one eye. "Yes… once…"

Blaine chewed his bottom lip. "I haven't."

Kurt propped himself up on one elbow. Was he serious? Blaine had touched Kurt like he'd done this a million times before.

"What?" Kurt almost laughed. "Are you serious?"

Blaine poked him in the side. "Don't laugh! You're my first… you should feel special." He smiled.

"I'm not laughing." Kurt grinned. "How come your so… skilled then?"

Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt slowly. "I've been dreaming about this moment for a long time…"

Kurt shivered.

"Are you cold?" Blaine asked.

"No." Kurt pulled Blaine's lips back against his. "I just… I just can't believe this is happening."

"Me either." Blaine rolled over to lie on his back. "Took us long enough didn't it."

Kurt eyed him hungrily. Leaning forward he began pressing kisses down Blaine's stomach.

"Kurt… what are you doing?" Blaine looked at him, amusement lining his features.

"Tonight's all about new experiences… I'm not letting you get away with just touching me." Kurt grinned.

Blaine let his head sink back against the pillow. New experiences. He should have new experiences more often. Blaine let his eyes close… his head still felt dizzy from alcohol. He wondered how much he would remember in the morning…