One hundred and nineteen days before

It was approximately 8 days into my stay at Culver Creek Preparatory School that I had my first nightmare.

I rushed through the empty corridor, flew through the empty classrooms, ceaselessly dashing forward to my only way out. I could hear their footsteps trailing right behind me, my heart raced uncontrollably.

I thought Culver Creek was an escape, but I now know the truth.

Its a trap.

The plan was to lure me in, make me feel safe and secure, then they would break down my newly formed walls. I know from experience that it hurts so much worse when your tormented by someone you care about.

So I ran, ran to escape them, but there they were, non the less, right behind me. And the moment I hesitated hungry hands grabbed me, pushing me against the wall of an empty classroom.

"Hello Blaine, nice to see you." Kurt grinned evilly, planning out his next move. I shuddered against the wall, small and helpless to his strength. Puck, Finn and Sam stood behind him, matching accusing faces looking down on me.

Im defected, I thought, and they hate me.

It was inevitable that it would end, that my moment of peace would crash and burn. I was full of so much naive hope, the hope Kurt put in me, and now has the power to rip it clean from my hands. I guarded myself off, cowering against the nipping brick wall.

But, then I saw something, a small reluctantcy, he looked at me for a moment, and hesitated. Suddenly a cloud shifted, I thought I maybe understood. Maybe it want real, it was a dream, a nightmare, like the phantasms I had last year. The faces were wrong, they were my friends. I struggled against Kurts--- my minds--- grasp on me. I fought, and screamed to be released from the horrid vision. No matter my effort I could not escape, I was trapped in a hallucination

Abruptly, the hands were not just holding me, they were hitting me, painful strikes to the stomach, blows to my face. Puck got out a knife, the blade wickedly gleaming in the moonlight. I felt a hand graze over my scar, and I howled, out of control.

"We can give you another to match."

Hands shook me, hands hit me, the knife scraped my skin, the lines of materiality and dream faded, then to become more defined.

I could faintly see something, a way out, I skirmished through the veil, and collapsed back into reality.

.....

Puck was shaking me.

"Blaine! Blaine! Wake up!" He said frantically, I fell limp in his arms, exhausted from my escape. "Blaine? Are you okay?"

I blinked rapidly, recollecting my surroundings. "Im sorry, I--- it was a bad dream..... I, I will be okay." I said, shaking ballistically, knowing I was far from okay.

Puck let a stuttering breath of relief, "You seriously scared me buddy, you were screaming, and shaking and...... Blaine are you sure youre all right?" I nodded, incapable of words.

Puck crouched by my bedside, hesitating, "Blaine," he started, "is there-- is there something wrong you want to talk to me about?"" He inquired.

My heart jumped in my chest, I wanted to tell him, but I didnt want him to see me damaged.

I wanted to forget my past for a new beginning, but I now know I cant. I felt sick. Memorys flashed in my head, things that could held me breathless in a way no physical infliction could. My stomach lurched, I scrambled out my bed, running to the bathroom. I heaved over the toilet, watching the remains of my dinner leave me.

A heavy silence hung over us.

"You dont have to tell me anything, i just dont want you to feel alone. This is your home now, I dont want you to have to hide."Puck said gently.

I nodded, tears were gathering in my eyes, "I want to tell you, I do, Im just scared." My voice broke.

He nodded, "Its okay, I promise to not to force you to tell me anything, just know I am always there to talk to." He gave me a thumbs up, and I raised my hand up too, what he had said really meant a lot to me.

I let him help me back to my bed, and I laid down, exhausted. Puck smiled softly, "Goodnight Blaine." I nodded warily, drifting off to a restless sleep.

.......

"Good morning Blaine!" Kurt piped cheerfully from his seat next to mine in second period, the morning after my relapse. I smiled shyly, I didnt think I would ever get to that kind of affection that early in the morning.

I got out my books for French, while he continually grined at me. "Arent you gonna ask me why I am so excited?" Kurt enthused.

"Why are you so excited?" I asked, Kurt literally bouncing in his seat.

"Because tonight is movie night!" He rhapsodized."Every Tuesday of the month one group can book the Pit for a movie extravaganza, and somehow Puck managed to get it for tonight, the first Friday of the year and Im super excited!" He beamed, talking a mile a minute, "be excited! Your cute when your excited!" He proclaimed, and my cheeks started to flame up. Before I could say anything, Madame Fleur walked in and class begun, but I was very distracted.

Kurt just called me cute.

........

Despite the oddity last night, I could say that my first week at Culver had been quite a success.

It had been normal. No more panic attacks. No bullying. No reoccurring feelings of depression. And that night I was going to have a normal, fun night with my friends.

It was my genuine cloud-9.

I prayed for this to last forever, I wanted to just be normal, an average teenager, to be free of burdens no bigger than late Calculus homework.(although that is a prominent worry, I swear Calculus would be the death of me.)

Once Kurt told me about movie night, I could not wait until the school day ended. A normal, fun night out with friend was something I needed. The whole day seemed to drag laggardly despite my will, even Mr. Shues writing assignment of the day took more focus than usual. When I walked into my cabin after the end of my last class (which was with Kurt who had miraculously dissipated seconds before the bell rang) the whole gang was there preparing what looked like an abundance of food so large, I didnt doubt it could feed an entire army.

"Hey Blaine," Sam said as I walked into the room, "mind doing the checklist for us?" He tossed me a clipboard and a pen. I smiled weakly, taking it. A flashback of the nightmare clouded my vision, seeing Sams face glaring at me contemptuously.

I shook myself, getting a grasp on reality, studying the gargantuan list I held."Holy shit." I thought aloud.

Puck turned to me, "I think that is the first time Ive ever heard you curse." He said in amazement.

I blushed, avoiding his gaze, "This list is seriously unhealthy, are you guys really gonna eat all this?"

Kurt laughed, walking back into the room with two 24-packs of Mountain Dew, "Come on Blaine, your gonna eat it too!"

.....

By the time we got everything out of the cabin and into the Pit, I felt like I was going to collapse.

On top of the unhealthy amount of junk food we brought, we had a mountain of blankets and pillows too, along with an entire suitcase full of other provisions I knew we would never need.

Kurt had everything planned out perfectly, from he proper amount of food each teenage boy needed, to the small details like the seating arrangements. Kurt and I had the big couch whereas Puck, Finn, and Sam all had separate little couches to themselves. According to Kurt, they usually traded with who got the big couch, but since I was added, Kurt offered to share with me.

"Mr. Anderson," Kurt said in fake seriousness before we sat down, "do you solemnly swear to behave hectically, drink too much coffee and politely share this lovely plush couch with me?

He intensely inspected me, "Yes Mr. Hummel I accept willingly to all your conditions." I played along.

We both collapsed on the couch simultaneously, laughing.

To see who got to pick the movie, rolled a dice and let fate have its way, it landing on Finn, who picked some random zombie movie. It was really bloody and gross, but I loved it. Because it was normal.

I ate too much candy, laughed too loud, smiled just enough, and about half way through the movie Puck thought it was a great idea to get out some of this stuff called ambrosia.

Now I dont know if you have ever had Ambrosia, but i do not, under any circumstances, recommend it to even my worst enemies. Ambrosia is an absolutely atrocious beverage, made of one part vodka and four parts milk. Yes I can say, if possible, it tastes even worse than it sounds. And somehow, in the dark of the bloody zombie movie, Puck handed me a cup, which I took willingly. And when the horrendous drink hit my taste buds, I almost lost my lunch for the second time in the same twenty-four hour period.

"What is this!" I called, running over to the sink to spit it out.

Kurt looked at the milk jug in Pucks hands, then rolled his eyes, giving Puck a glare. "Puck are you still making that shit!?" Puck grinned from behind Finn. Kurt looked over at me, explaining. "The disgusting concoction you just experienced is something called Ambrosia, and I do insist to never take a drink from Puck again." He said, sending another piercing glare to Puck.

After that slight bump in the road, we finished watching the movie and then the guys started playing on the X-box. Even though I had no clue what I was doing, they let me play for a while, it was too confusing for me. I shot at the roughly animated characters for a bit, then promptly handed the controller off to Sam, because I am not good at video games. Not to the slightest.

I never felt panicked, or suddenly sad, I was happy. I was content. I sat next to Kurt watching the boys play games until I felt tired, and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

......

"Kurt you need to wake him up." A voice persisted, waking me from my sleep.

"Come on Puckkkkkkkkk, his hair is so fluffy, its like a pillow." Kurt protested from above me. Wait. Above me?

I then I was very aware that I was laying on top of something.

Something very warm.

A body? Yes, a body, a very warm comfortable body I must have rolled over onto in my sleep.

I was laying across the body of Kurt Hummel.

I panicked, leaping off him. "Im sorry Kurt, sorry, I didnt mean to ,I ,I," I stuttered out.

Kurts waved his hand at the air, "Its fine, you just fell asleep." He said, completely level headed. I calmed myself, refusing to have a panic attack over something so simple.

"Really," Finn said from across the room, "He was talking about your hair for like twenty minutes."