"Those are two different kinds of love."

How Kurt Falls In Love With Blaine

July – After Freshman Year

It took a lot of coxing and sun block to get Kurt into the sun. He reapplied a new layer every half hour but nonetheless had been out in the sun all day. Blaine soaked in the sun very easily, and Kurt couldn't help but notice the darkening tan. He cautiously snuck the occasional sideways glance at his shirtless friend. It was cautious because he didn't want Blaine to notice, and it was occasional because the hammering of his heart increased with every look.

Blaine invited Kurt to be his plus one on his family vacation. The two boys were currently on a very crowded Maryland beach.

"Do you want to swim?" Blaine said watching a rather attractive group of boys racing each other to the water, holding boogie boards.

"Do you not care about your skin or your hair?" Kurt asked incredulously.

"Kurt, it's the beach! This is what you do at the beach: tan, swim, check out the…people."

"Correction: your surf-boy gawking did not go unnoticed," Kurt said, tossing a thin layer of sand onto Blaine's back. "Let's shop."

The two boys spend the remainder of the day on the boardwalk. After dinner and making a stop at Blaine's beach house to drop off everything from their afternoon of shopping, the two went back onto the boardwalk just as the sun was setting.

"Are you having fun?" Blaine said, bumping into Kurt happily.

"Despite the inevitable burn, the sand in places where sand should not be, and the lack of any organic food, I am. Thanks for inviting me."

Blaine walked up to the railing and just stood there, looking at the dark orange sky. Kurt found his place next to him.

"I'd rather be with you than my uptight family, honestly. You I can actually talk to."

Their hands were both holding the railing, inches apart. Blaine closed the distance by placing his hand on top of Kurt's. Kurt forced himself not to gasp. They remained like this for a few minutes, watching the sun and the waves.

"Want to sit on the lifeguard stand?" Blaine asked abruptly, slipping his hand into Kurt's, dragging him away before he could say no.

Kurt couldn't help but laugh as they kicked through the sand and then pulled themselves up onto the large, white structure. They had to squish to fit; Kurt had no objections.

"I wish we could do this all year," Blaine admitted.

"Don't you miss NYU? I definitely do. I can't handle more than five minutes of Finn's ramblings about Ohio State football back home. I need the fast life of the city, the dramatics of Broadway, the nightlife that never ends. I can't wait to go back!"

Blaine grinned. "Summer is so simple though."

"If I wanted simple, I would have went to Lima County Community College. What's wrong? Why don't you want to go back?"

Blaine wouldn't look at Kurt. Instead, he was sweeping sand off his sandals very intently.

"I'm just nervous," he muttered.

"What about? You had a 4.0 last semester."

"Not the school work," Blaine said even softer.

Kurt's stomach twisted. "Eddie," Kurt stated, knowing full well that this what Blaine was talking about.

Blaine nodded slowly. "I just…how do I even face him? I'm like putty around him, Kurt. If he ever wanted me back, I'd go back to him without a second thought."

"He doesn't deserve you, Blaine. And I know you don't want to hear this, but it's better that you're not together. He'll only ever hurt you."

"I think he's made me damaged goods, Kurt. How can I ever trust another boy?"

"Not all boys are him, Blaine. Not all boys will use you for what he used you for. Not all of us are like that."

Kurt wanted desperately to scream I can prove that. Let me try! If Kurt looked up, he'd risk sending that message nonverbally with his eyes, and he couldn't chance that, so his head remained down.

"You're right. You have a good heart, Kurt," Blaine whispered.

"And you're not damaged goods. This will just help you in choosing your next boy more carefully," he said then thought, Here! I'm right here.

Blaine unexpectedly moved in closer to Kurt. Kurt's breath got lost somewhere in his throat. With a small smile, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders. With flimsy arms, Kurt snaked his way around Blaine's back. He could feel the other boy's breath against his neck, and despite the warm weather, Kurt got goosebumps.

Blaine said into Kurt's ear, "You're going to make someone very happy one day, Kurt."

Kurt tightened his eyes shut, thinking, I only want to make you happy, you moron. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to change the subject. Peering over Blaine's shoulder, he saw two people making-out in the ocean.

Pulling back, Kurt laughed, "I'll buy you a new pair of sunglasses if you break up that show," pointing at the pair.

Blaine stifled a laugh but took on the challenge by climbing off the peer. Looking up at Kurt, he said, "Those pink ones I saw that you wouldn't let me buy. I want those!" then he ran towards the water.

Blaine screamed at the top of his lungs and splashed into the waves. Kurt didn't watch what happened next. He couldn't pay attention. He just looked at the sun and decided to acknowledge what his heart's been telling him for months. Kurt was head-over-heals in love with his roommate and best friend Blaine, painfully so.

And it was so painful.

How Kurt Falls In Love With Alek

March – Senior Year

The realtor stepped outside the apartment to give her clients a moment for themselves.

"Did you hear her?" Kurt asked, bending his body in her direction to make sure she really left. "All those insinuations she was throwing were borderline offensive."

"I guess 'Two people like yourselves might fair well with something on the outskirts of the city' could be misinterpreted," Blaine said politely.

"Blaine, she thinks we're screwing each other and can't afford to live in the city."

Blaine spun to take in the whole room. "Maybe she's right."

Kurt stopped his friend mid-spin. "I have an internship lined up for after graduation, and you've applied to like sixteen different places. One is bound to hire you; it's like science. Besides, we are not going back to Ohio, not after living here for almost four years."

"All I'm saying is, it's kind of expensive. We're going to have to cut back on some stuff for a few months – like internet, cable, and…eating."

"I will eat only Raman for a year to live in New York!"

"Your mind's set, but let me just think about it, alright?" Blaine said just as the realtor walked back inside.

She wasn't too surprised when the boys told her they were going to hold off on their decision, again. As they headed out, Kurt really hoped Blaine would make up his mind. Shopping for apartments stopped being fun twelve apartments and three days ago. That'd be two hours of his day he'd never get back.

"Seriously?" Kurt sighed as he pulled out his phone. He'd missed six calls from Alek and had a text that read: What are you even doing? Call me back. "He's starting to smother me."

Kurt dialed Alek's number. He immediately picked up. But before Alek could say anything, Kurt said, "Someone better have died."

"What?" Alek retorted.

"I've been out with Blaine. What do you want?"

"Oh," he said. There was a long pause where Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear to silently curse down at it. "I thought you were ignoring me."

"Alek, why would I ignore you?" When Alek paused again, Kurt said loudly into the phone, "Alek?"

"Kurt, can we talk?"

"We are talking, Alek."

Alek sighed. "Come over when you're done with Blaine, okay?"

"Okay, yeah, bye."

Kurt immediately hung up and had to restrain himself from chucking his phone up the street. Blaine had been staring at him the entire time, unsure how to react.

"Trouble?" Blaine finally asked.

"I'm just super stressed about everything, and Alek keeps insisting that I'm getting more and more distant. If he says that one more time, I will get distant and dump his ass!"

"You don't mean that."

"I guess not. Okay, I'll go see him, set him straight, and then I'll meet you for dinner. Sounds good?"

Blaine broke eye contact quickly and played with his hands awkwardly. When he spoke, it came out unsure, "Actually, just work things out with Alek. I said I'd go to Eddie's apartment after you and I finished this."

Kurt suddenly stopped walking. "Blaine, you cannot be serious? The guy just dumped you for the third time, and you're crawling right back to him?"

"I knew you'd feel like that."

"Do you freakin' blame me?"

Blaine crossed his arms, protectively. "I just love him, okay? I can't help it."

"I am not piecing you back together – not again."

Blaine shook his head. "You won't have to. I've got this under control. I've already set ground rules."

"What? No sexting unless you've been dating for a week?"

Blaine raised his eyebrows. Kurt was angry but couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Kurt, nothing's going to happen."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "So you say."

When Kurt got to Alek's on campus apartment, he was already in an awful mood. So, as soon as his boyfriend opened the door, Kurt began to rant.

"Alek, what is your problem? I can't have a life that's separate from you for ten minutes without you getting all antsy that I'm losing interest in you! We've been together for years, and you don't trust me?"

"Of course I trust-"

"No, no, you do not, Alek! I have a lot on my plate right now. All my 400 level classes are kicking my ass, I've been struggling for weeks applying for internships, and now Blaine won't decide if he wanted to live in New York or not. And you won't let me have any space!"

"You're moving in with Blaine?"

Kurt missed the hurt in Alek's voice.

"I've been living with Blaine for four years! That's nothing new! I just wish you'd trust me. I'm not going to rush into the arms of another man. I just need my own time to sort through some stuff-"

"Maybe we should take a break…"

Kurt suddenly stopped.

"Wh-what?" he muttered.

"You need space. I want to give you that," Alek said.

"No, you can't go from smothering to distant in 2.2 seconds. Why are you saying we need to break-up?" Kurt said, sounding slightly desperate.

"Not break-"

"Yes, break-up, Alek. Breaks are just fancy ways of saying let-me-go-screw-around-then-get-back-together-with-you-after-leaving-you-to-wonder-if-you'll-ever-come-back. Either you want to do that, or you think I want to do that. Which is it?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with Blaine, and-"

Kurt almost threw something. "Blaine? You think Blaine and I…? Are you kidding me? Even if that was true, which it isn't, he's too hung up on Eddie. The idiot is over there right now probably hitting up all the bases before being asked to take a seat in the dug-out. I am not cheating on you with Blaine!"

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?" Kurt almost yelled.

"I figured you and Blaine were up to something these past few days, but I didn't think you were apartment shopping. I'm never going to be as important to you as him. You don't know how that makes me feel, Kurt."

Kurt groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Blaine is my best friend. You are my boyfriend."

"They're just titles. You'll always love him so much more than me."

Kurt finally saw the pain in Alek's eyes. He softened his harsh demeanor.

"I love Blaine," Kurt said. "I'm in love with you."

Alek said he loved Kurt years ago. He asked Kurt to hold back on saying it until he knew he meant it. He'd never said it…until now. Maybe it was the reality of losing Alek that pushed him over the edge, but Kurt knew he wasn't just saying the words to hear them.

"Call me stupid, but I think those are two different kinds of love," Kurt whispered.

158 Days Until Kurt's Wedding

Kurt texted Blaine asking him to meet him in Times Square on the big red steps. That was an hour ago. Kurt got up to leave, only to find Blaine staring up at him from the ground. He slowly made his way up.

Before Blaine could apologize or say anything, Kurt said, "Remember the day we sat here all afternoon doing school work?"

Blaine smiled. "You mean the day we tried to study but played Who's A Tourist? instead?"

"Or do you remember the morning we sat on the roof of Hayden and watched all the hung-over people taking their walks-of-shame back to their dorms?"

"I remember," Blaine said.

"Oh, do you remember the second trip I took with you to Maryland over the summer where we sat on the lifeguard stand and shined that bright flashlight on all the couples in the water having sex to freak them out?"

Blaine laughed, nodding. "Very vividly. Are we here to walk down memory lane?"

"I just realized we see a lot when we're high up."

"Is that why we're at the top of this thing?" Blaine asked, standing to peer over the edge.

Kurt found his way to Blaine's side. Their hands were only inches apart on the railing, and Kurt wanted more than anything to close the distance.

"I just wanted to feel like I was watching over someone, watching them plot out their future," Kurt mumbled, gazing over the heads of people, seeking one particular person to catch his eye.

"Their future? We can't help them anymore than they can help us," Blaine said, turning away from the crowd, leaning his back against the railing.

"I just wish someone was watching over me."

"You should have stayed on the ground then."

Kurt brought Blaine here with no intentions of making his message profound. The memories just came and he was surrounded by them. He did have intentions though – he had to tell Blaine something really important. He didn't know how though.

Blaine saw Kurt's face and how sad he looked. He gripped Kurt's arm and pulled him down a step. Kurt gazed up at Blaine, confused.

"Okay, now someone's watching over you," Blaine said with a smile.

Then it slipped. "I'm engaged." Kurt didn't want it to slip.

Blaine tried (he really, really tried) to look happy, but the initial shock was all Kurt focused on. As Blaine pulled him into a hug, Kurt slipped away before he could make contact.

"I'm sorry," Kurt muttered, starting down the steps.

Blaine caught up. He took Kurt's hand.

"Why are you sorry, Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"I'm not supposed to be engaged when you've just been left at the altar."

"Eddie wasn't the one for me. Why does that have to do anything with your wedding?"

"I just don't want for you to have to see all this wedding stuff and remember him."

"Kurt, all I'll be thinking about is my best friend getting married."

Something just erupted inside of Kurt, and he couldn't stop himself from hugging Blaine.

From the steps above, people watched the two hug and thought how well they fit together. The onlookers couldn't stop the flashes of a future for the pair they saw that'd make both boys laugh because they were best friends and didn't love each other like that.