Chapter 3

Blaine was removed from bed by a furious knock on his door.
"What the hell, Blaine?!"
"Excuse me?"
"What the hell do you think you're doing'!"
"Until a moment ago I was trying to sleep!" Trying... Because he had been in bed for two hours unable to sleep, his mind unable to just shut up.
"I can't belive you..." Rachel sounded more calm now. Like if the rage had been replaced by disbelief and sadness.
Blaine didn't say anything. He already knew what she was talking about.
"How could you do that to Kurt? How could you hurt him like that?!" Ok... anger again.
"Please, Rachel! Why are you blaming me about this?!" And now Blaine was also yelling because he was really, really tired of thinking about Kurt, and what he had done, and about the fact that they had broken up.
"Because my best friend is home crying his heart out and it's all your fault!"
"It's not my fault that he decided to go sleep around at bars!" No. Wait. Why did he say that? No no no. Take it back! Take it back!
Too late.
"How dare you?!"
Rachel aproached him furiously and slapped him. An angry, open-handed slap.
Blaine could only stare at her as she left the apartament.

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Rachel was so fucking angry! But, most of all, she was disappointed. Blaine wasn't the man she thought he was. He had abandoned Kurt at his weakest hour. Although, at the same time, she was glad. Kurt could do better. So much better than a selfish bastard who didn't care about him, didn't love him. Not enough, not the way Kurt deserved.

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Time can pass so slowly when you feel so all alone
Blaine felt angry, confused, hurt, sad...
Blaine felt like shit.
He didn't understand how Kurt had done something like that. Had he done something to Kurt? Had there been signs he hadn't see? Kurt wouldn't have cheated if he still loved him. How could somebody change so much, so fast?
And it hit him.
Kurt hadn't changed. He had just stopped pretending...
Could it be it? Just like that? Of course it was. How could Blaine had been so stupid?!
Those shy smiles and fearful eyes, they were all good acting. Those soft touches and gentle kisses, all poisoned hooks. Those sweet words of affection and devotion, all empty promises. Every 'I love you', the cruelest of lies.
Blaine collapsed on the couch, trying with every tear to wash Kurt off his mind, to stop the pain, to end his love for the other boy.
Half an hour later he sat upright on the couch and there it was, looking at him, mocking him: Kurt's note on the table.
I hope you know how much I love you.
How could he? Lie to him like that? To his face! Wasn't everything else torture enough?

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When the night came it all became worse. Kurt jumped at every sound, flinched at every touch. He was lying in bed, unable to close his eyes. It was too terrifying. He had fallen asleep two hours ago, only to wake up sweaty, screaming and crying from the worst nightmare of his life, which had actually happened less than 24hs ago.
Although he was too tired and lost his battle not long after, his living hell replaying in his mind. This time he grabbed his phone and pressed #1 on speed dial. Blaine.
"Hello?" Blaine aswered sleepy without even looking at the caller ID.
Kurt let out a sob before taking a deep breath.
"I... I wanted to hear to voice..."
"Kurt?"
"I love you so much, Blaine."
"What are you doing, Kurt?" Stop lying, stop lying!
"I told you... I need to talk to you. Please, Blaine..."
"Why are you doing this to me?!" Do. Not. Cry.
"Please, Blaine... I need you."
"Kurt..."
"I need you so much..."
"No... You're on your own." And he hung up with a sharp pain in his chest.
Kurt DROPPED his phone to the floor and cryed through the night, wishing he could just die, as a life without Blaine wasn't one that was worth living.

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I love you more than I should
But it keeps me feeling so good
The calls kept going for a few more days. Kurt would call crying, begging, only to get a similar response, only to get his heart broken all over again.
Rachel insisted that he should report it to the police. She didn't, though, mentioned Blaine again and Kurt honestly forgot to tell her the whole story.
But the police was out of the question. Every minute he felt more and more embarrassed and disgusted with himself, so ashamed. He had been so stupid to let than man get him drunk (or worse, drugged), to let him flirt and dance and kiss him. This was all Kurt's fault! And he was too weak to admit it. He was a screw up who always fucked up everything good in his life. It was only a matter of time before he had to go and ruin what he had with Blaine.
Blaine...
Blaine was too good for him. He had always known that. How had he managed not to screw it up for almost 3 years? Maybe Kurt should give up on trying to explain what happened, let Blaine move on with his life. Kurt was just a screw up and didn't deserve Blaine... Yet, he needed him so much.

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Blaine couldn't handle it any more. How he wished he could take everything back, let himself love and be loved again. But he couldn't. He couldn't get back what had never been his. 'He's lying' he would repet to himself over and over again. Rejecting Kurt like that everyday was killing him, slowly ripping his soul apart. He neened to put an end to it.

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Kurt reluctantly got up from the couch as he heard a knock on his door
"Blaine!" Kurt threw himself to hug his boyfriend, his beautiful, beautiful boyfriend, without the intention of letting him go, never, ever.
"Uh... Kurt..." Blaine not only didn't hug him back, but actually pulled him away.
"Oh my God, Blaine! I'm so happy you came! Please, we need to talk-"
"No, Kurt. I'm not here to talk."
"But-"
"Please, just let me say this."
"O-Ok..." Kurt tried to stay calm.
Blaine took a deep breath. "We can't keep doing this. It's not fair! I can't keep longing for what is not there and never will be."
What did he mean by that? Kurt was so puzzled. "Blaine, honey..."
"What you did... Kurt, hurted me more than I ever thought it was possible. And you know why?" Kurt shook his head 'no', tears already forming in his eyes. "Because I loved you more than I ever thought it was possible." Blaine was looking everywhere but Kurt's eyes.
"W-What are you saying?" Kurt asked holding back a sob.
"I came here to... to officially b-break up with you." Blaine said as the first tear rolled down his cheek. "Please... Don't look for me, don't call me any more... It's the least you can do..." And with that Blaine left, leaving Kurt crying hopelessly at the door of his apartament. He fell to the floor, hugged his legs and sank his head betweet his knees.
And that was it. No more Blaine, no more love, no more hope.