Dec. 22, 2012, 11:44 a.m.
Perfect: Just pretending
E - Words: 1,074 - Last Updated: Dec 22, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Aug 22, 2012 - Updated: Dec 22, 2012 299 0 2 0 0
I wake up feeling a warm body pressed against mine and the thoughts of last night come rushing back.
I look over seeing a sleeping Kurt lying in my arms and can't help but smile.
Kurt is here safe, with me. I finally have my Kurt back.
I notice him moving and suddenly his eyes pop open and he jerks away yelping in pain.
"Sorry sweetie I didn't mean to scare you" I say softly watching him.
The past few weeks while Kurt has been in the hospital he has acted fine. Even though it took him almost a week to let anyone touch him beside me unless he was drugged or asleep but he's better now.
"Blaine" He says slowly and I nod my eyes never leaving him.
"Can you get out?" He asks in almost an angry voice which takes me for a loop.
What the hell is going on?
"Y-yea I have to get some stuff ready to send to the sub at work. I'll come check on you in a bit"
I say as I stand up and slowly walk out of the room trying not to show how truly heartbroken I am.
I don't know what came over me. I don't know why but as I woke up this morning feeling myself in Blaine's arms scared me. I don't deserve him and I now know that for sure.
Sure before his whole Jackson thing I was scared that Blaine was too good for me and someday he would realize that and force me to leave. But now I know for sure, I know that he thinks of me as more of a burden than a boyfriend. I can't even be a boyfriend at the moment, I'm broken.
I have been in pain for the past three weeks while Blaine has to set by acting like he cares.
I can't please him because at the moment even thinking of sex brings me to tears.
What good am I?
I can't cook or clean because I can hardly bend over at the moment.
I'm useless and I can't sit around and watch Blaine act like he cares about me when both I and him know he doesn't.
I gave Kurt a few hours to himself before returning knocking on the door gently.
"Kurt can I come in?" I ask softly and I don't hear a reply.
"Kurt baby? Are you okay?" I ask this time louder and I still hear nothing.
I sigh forcing myself to walk away before I scare him again.
I just want my Kurt back.
Blaine comes and knocks on my door every few hours.
I'm lying in my bed my head shoved into the pillow that still holds Blains scent from last night.
I want to stay here, I don't want to leave. I care for Blaine... why can't he feel the same way?
I start debating in my mind between what's worse.
Living with someone you care about and want to be with but knowing they are just acting.
Or living with someone who cares about you but it's in a different, more violent way?
And this is where I stayed for the next two days. In bed, Blaine brings me food three times a day opening the door long enough to set the food down and ask me if I need anything.
I never reply.
"wow your house is nice" I smile walking into Jacksons house.
This is the first time we had been alone together.
Jackson was the best, he was nice and loving and sweet, even though he's ideas for dates sucked.
He had just taken me to the park. That may sounds nice, but it was a dog park and he wanted to have a picnic. Let's just say it didn't end well and I'm going to be smelling like dog shit for a week.
"Now that were alone" he says turning to face me his hand pulling at my hips forcing me closer to him as his soft lips come in contact with my neck.
I gasp as I give in falling into him with a slight moan as I feel a love bite starting to form on my sensitive skin.
"You should see the bedroom baby, it's so big" He says with a wink and I finally snap out of the lustful haze my brain had been lost in.
"N-no. I should be going" I say shaking my head as his hands still have a firm grip on my waist.
"Aww come on it will be fun" He says as his hands slide down squeezing my ass.
"No... No I need to go" I say again pushing him away
.... That's the first time Jackson forced me to have sex with him.
That was the night I lost something I will never be able to get back.
I come back to reality to feel arms wrapped around me a loving hand rubbing my back.
"Kurt are you okay?" Blaine asks softly and I relax into his side.
"N-now I am" I say still shaking violently.
"Kurt look at me, what been wrong with you? Please you need to talk to me" He says looking down at me as my eyes look up to meet his.
"I-I know the truth" I say slowly biting my lip harshly.
Blaine's hand comes up to my face and I flinch away waiting for the hit. But like always one never comes.
I feel his hand brush across my cheek softly, almost lovingly.
"The truth about what?" he asks eyebrow raised.
"H-how you don't care about me. I know you can't because I'm no good for you. I can't cook or clean or..... or have sex with you" I say tears in my eyes
I gasp does Kurt really think that I don't want him because he is injured? Have I really been that horrible at showing my feelings?
"Kurt, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are hurt, you don't need to cook or clean nor will you ever have to even when you are better. And I'm not that ass hole of a dude you was with before. I don't care if you are ever ready to have sex. I love you Kurt. Not because you can clean and are an amazing cook but because you are you... and being yourself is all I ever want from you" I say and seconds later I feel Kurt's lips pressed against mine in a soft loving kiss.
"You love me?" He asks surprised.
"Yes, more than I have ever loved anyone before" I say holding him close being carful of his still healing ribs.
"I-I love you too" He smiles.
Comments
Awwwwwwww poor Klaine, glad Kurt knows that Blaine loves him now
This was really good. I am glad that Kurt opened up to Blaine and let him know what was wrong. I can't wait to see what happens next. Merry Christmas!