Dear Kurt,

After you came into the restaurant and gave me your address it took me a few minutes to remember that I had to go back to work. And it took everything I had for me not to run after you. I’m just thankful that you’re at least giving us this opportunity to talk.

I’m scared that you’re going to be hurt while you’re away. You have to promise me that you’re going to do what you can to stay out of harm’s way.

I rushed home right after work so that I could write this - I wanted to get it out in the mail this afternoon. I’m not sure how often you are going to be able to write, but I hope that you do when you can.

I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. How I shocked I was at first but how absolutely perfect it felt. Was it the same way for you? I know that you ran away afterwards, but I don’t think that it was a mistake. I think that you were running away from your feelings, thinking that if you got away quickly enough the feelings would just disappear. But I have to tell you, if yours are anything like mine - I don’t think that they’re going to just disappear.

Blaine

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July 31st, 2011

Dear Blaine,

Thank you for your letter. I was afraid that you wouldn’t write.

I’ll be able to write fairly frequently for at least the next few weeks, since I’m in training in California. And don’t you worry about me being hurt. The only thing that might hurt me right now are my peers.

The whole don’t ask, don’t tell policy is in full force, but that doesn’t stop them from pushing me around. And now they’ve taken to avoiding me completely unless it is absolutely necessary. And although that is kind of nice it’s not helpful for my loneliness.

In fact, you’re the only thing it seems that can help me with that. It’s only been about a week and your letter has already gone soft from me rereading it so often. I sleep with it underneath my pillow. I’m afraid that the others will find it, but I can’t seem to sleep in these uncomfortable beds without it there.

You’re right about the kiss. I can’t stop thinking about it either. I was scared that I would start to feel for someone - for you - and then it wouldn’t be reciprocated. But you’re telling me that you share these feelings and it’s scary but it could be worth it. And I have nothing to lose, so I am going to try my hardest to be open with you. And see if this can amount to anything. Which I realize is crazy, since we’re hundreds of miles away.

But I’m willing to try if you are.

Kurt

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August 15th, 1962

Kurt,

I’m glad to hear that you are safe, for now at least. And I’m sorry to hear that the others are treating you badly. I wish that they could see the man that I see. Brave and strong and beautiful.

I’ve started up my studies again this past week. My tutor, Wes, kept asking me what had me so distracted. I nearly very told him that it’s you. I hope that you’ll meet him one day, I’m sure that you’d like him. He’s very kind.

I’m trying to keep my focus as best as I can on my studies and I’m spending even more time than usual at the restaurant, keeping in mind that graduation is really less than a year away. Even though I’m home-schooled, I will be receiving the diploma from your alma mater and attending their graduation ceremony.

Do you have any idea when you’ll be home? If it weren’t for your replies I would have thought that I’d gone mad and that I’d made you all up in my head.

I can’t believe how easily that you waltzed into my life, only to leave again so quickly. I just hope that it isn’t forever.

Thinking of you,
Blaine

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September 22nd,

Blaine,

I hope that you’re singing as much as you’re focusing on your studies and working. Your voice is beautiful. Breathtaking. I don’t think that I ever told you.

It haunts me sometimes. Haunts me only because of how badly I wish that I could hear it again. After a long, exhausting day I collapse onto my cot and close my eyes as tightly as I can and remember the beautiful words pouring from your beautiful lips. Lately it’s become one of my biggest desires to see you sing for real, with proper accompaniment and on a real stage. I hope with all of my heart that I can see that one day. Hopefully one day soon.

I’m not sure when I’ll be home. Probably for the holidays, but not until next year. Can you last that long? I’m scared that you’ll forget about me.

I’ve been thinking that maybe once I get out of here, I’ll move to New York as well. It’s not like I have anything waiting for me back in Ohio. I don’t mean to sound like I’m interrupting or interjecting myself into your plans, so if you’re not comfortable with it, just let me know. I would understand one hundred percent. But I can’t help hoping that you would want me there as well.

I curse myself for signing up to do this. But how could I have known that two weeks after signing the contract I would meet someone like you who would completely flip my world upside down. A few months ago I honestly would have thought that I would be alone until my dying day. It seems that everyone I care about either dies or runs away from me. I’m hoping that you’re the exception.

Kurt

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October 3rd, 1962

Kurt,

You’re crazy if you thought that I wouldn’t want you to come along with me to New York. That’s all that I’ve been thinking about. Who cares if I have to go ahead and get started without you while you finish up your contract. I’ll working on my singing and you just work on getting to me safely.

I have enough money to support us both for at least a year, but I’ll get a job as soon as I get there and start looking for singing opportunities. I’ve never seen you dance, but maybe there would be an opportunity for you to do that. I know that it makes you happy. And doing what makes you happy is far more important than you seem to think.

I’ve finally told Wes all about you. He only disapproves because you are somewhat distracting me from my studies, even though I know that you don’t mean to. Otherwise, he seems fairly happy. He worries that you’ll be injured and that my heart will be crushed, but I have such a good feeling about us that I’ve asked him not to say anything like that anymore.

He is grateful, though, that I have someone to write back and forth to. Things here with my parents are becoming more and more difficult, and besides Wes and occasionally my Uncle, you are the only one who I actually want to talk to.

Since I told Wes about you, I’ve decided to go ahead and tell him about my plans for after I graduate as well. Since he knows that I have no interest in following after my father, he seems relieved that at least I have a plan, and have enough funding to have it followed through. I’ve asked him not to tell anyone else, and he’s promised to keep quiet, and I trust him. But it does feel good to have someone close who I can run ideas by. He’s even started letting me listen to the radio while we work, since he says that I focus better when it’s on.

The holidays next year seem like a very long time to wait, but as long as we are able to keep contact with one another and exchange multiple letters, I see no reason why we cannot hold out for each other. I have a very strong feeling that I wouldn’t find someone like you even if I searched for a hundred years.

You’re my one and only. And I’m not willing to risk that for anything.

Blaine

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December 24th, 1962

Blaine,

Things are getting crazier and crazier over here. When things are especially bad I can’t stop myself from closing my eyes and picturing that day down on the pier - focusing on your pretty face. I don’t believe in God, but I’ve been praying every night that I get to see it again.

I’m glad to hear that you talked things over with Wes. I wish that I had someone here who I could share things with. I often times find myself missing my father. I’ve gone over ten years without a mother, so I’m fairly well adjusted to that, but my father was always the person in my life who would be there and stand up for me no matter what. He was so solid, and thinking about not ever seeing him again makes my heart hurt. But thinking of you sometimes helps.

After this letter I’m not sure when I’ll be able to write again, so don’t worry if it takes me a while. If you don’t receive anything from me, it’s certainly not because I didn’t want to converse with you. Remember that even if I can’t physically write to you or see you, you’re constantly running through my thoughts.

I’m trying my hardest to have courage - to be brave - for you - even when it’s really difficult. This thing between us - it might be too early to tell - but it might be love.

You have to promise me that if for some reason I don’t make it home - you must still follow your dreams. I know that if anyone can escape that town and become something, it’s you.

Follow your heart, Blaine. Sing loudly. If anyone in this world deserves happiness, it’s you.

Happy holidays.

Yours truly,
Kurt

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February 7th, 1963

Kurt,

Your last letter both excites me and scares me in equal measure. I didn’t receive until several weeks after it was dated, so I was already a little nervous. I know you said not to worry about your lack of letters for a while, because it would be difficult for you to write, but telling me not to worry about you is like asking the sun to stop shining or the breeze to stop blowing.

It might be love. Those four words I think are the most beautiful thing you’ve written me so far. I wish I could hear you speak them to me. I wish I could speak them back to you.

I know that you said that I must follow my plans and move to New York and sing, with or without you, but I have to tell you, Kurt, my plans might have changed. I’ve spent the last months dreaming of moving with you, escaping with you, singing to you. I’m not sure that I could do it without you.

Please write soon.

Yours faithfully,
Blaine

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April 1st, 1963

Kurt,

It’s been a few months since I’ve heard from you, and although I’m trying to stay positive, it’s proving to be rather difficult.

I’ve taken to spending a lot of my free time down at our pier, daydreaming about you. I wish you could come home.

I graduate soon, and although I should be excited, because my original plan was to leave the day after, I can’t stand thinking about doing it without you.

Wes says that I shouldn’t worry - that we would have heard if something had happened to you and that you must just not be able to write still. I’m praying that he’s right.

You’ve been in my thoughts for months, but now you’ve infected my dreams. I can’t wait for you to actually stand in front of me once more.

With love,

Blaine

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May 10th, 1963

My Kurt,

My desperation is mounting. I can’t stand the lack of communication between us.

Graduation is two short weeks away and I’ve decided that I cannot go on without you. I know they started out as my dreams, but they’ve grown into our dreams for us and I cannot stand the thought of attempting to achieve them without you.

Because I’m in love with you.

There’s no use trying to deny it. I’ve tried.

Please come home to me, my darling.

Yours eternally,
Blaine