It was hard to explain the feeling of despair Kurt felt hearing the love of his life walk out the door. Even harder to take was the knowledge that Kurt had been the one who told him to go. Apparently though, half an hour sitting on the cold kitchen floor, propped up against an uncomfortable kitchen cupboard did quite a lot to focus your mind. Initially Kurt had felt aggrieved, wronged and angry, so angry - however he had to admit, he was often a bit too quick to react. In fact, he often overreacted.

Looking at it from Blaine's point of view, maybe he had been a bit unreasonable. Blaine had done nothing but show him love and support ever since they'd got together, ever since he'd known him really, so why on earth would Kurt think Blaine would purposely do something to hurt him? He was pretty sure after his behaviour this evening there was no way Blaine would want anything more to do with him - and who could blame him? If Kurt was going to end up lonely and alone, well, that was probably what he deserved.

After getting his heart broken when his first relationship broke up when he first came to New York, Kurt had decided he needed to protect himself. He built up a hard exterior, never wanting to feel that pain again. Of course, Kurt now realised, you couldn't control who you fell in love with and it was also possible to end up broken hearted through your own stupid actions. Maybe he should sell up the coffee shop and become a recluse, somewhere where he couldn't hurt anyone.

Kurt eased himself up off the floor, brushing down his jeans where he'd been sitting. It was at times like this that Kurt missed his dad. He was always the voice of reason whenever he had one of his meltdowns ; never judging him, just maybe helping him to see that there wasn't just one side to every story. Kurt swiped his hand across his face, getting rid of the remnants of the tears which were still on his face. He was sure he looked a mess, but who would care anyway?

Suddenly he thought about Rachel. She would be mad at him for messing things up with Blaine, and probably so would Santana too. They'd both been so pleased when he and Blaine had got together, having been trying to get him to date again for years. He knew they just wanted him to be happy. For now he needed to get cleared up here and get home to bed before Rachel got in from her show. She'd spot there was something wrong with him straight away if he had to face her tonight, without him having to tell her anything. He wasn't ready for that yet.

Kurt moved through to the shop to clear up the last of their dinner things. If he ever made it in to work tomorrow the last thing he would want to see is a stark reminder of what had gone on tonight.

He didn't see him at first. They always left the shop dimly lit when they had dinner in the evenings. No need for the bright daytime lighting of a bustling coffee shop when it was just the two of them. He just caught a glimpse of a shadow out of the corner of his eye as he went to pick up Blaine's plate off of the table, making him give a small start. But there, standing near to the door with his messenger bag over his shoulder, and coat over one arm was Blaine, looking over at him with big wide sad eyes.

Kurt knew he should say something but suddenly his tongue felt twice its normal size as he stared at Blaine. He could see, even in the low lighting, that Blaine had obviously been crying, his eyes red rimmed and still looking a little watery. Kurt realised he probably looked no better himself.

"I... I thought you'd gone...." Kurt said in a whisper, new tears welling up in his eyes. He wasn't sure if it was the relief that Blaine was still here or the thought that he was going to have to face all of his feelings right now.

"I almost did go..," Blaine said in a choked voice, "but I couldn't leave it like that.... leaveuslike that." He put his coat and bag down carefully on the chair near where he was standing, moving closer to Kurt. He stopped a few feet away, waiting to see how Kurt was going to react. He wanted to know he was at least wanted here, but worryingly Kurt remained frozen to the spot.

After what felt like forever, Blaine couldn't stand the silence any longer. "You drive me crazy.. do you know that?" he said exasperatedly, running his hands into his hair. "Reallycrazy.... " He noticed tears streaming down Kurt's face and paused. "...and I'm so fucking in love with you.... And I couldn't leave, even if I wanted to. But that doesn't change the fact that you drive me crazy..." Blaine took a big calming breath. The last thing he wanted to do tonightwas to get Kurt riled up again. "I don't know if you want to hear it or not but, Kurt, I'm truly sorry I didn't tell you about Thanksgiving. Please believe me when I say I didn't do it to hurt you...."

"Blaine," Kurt said surprisingly calmly, "...it's not you, it's me..." Blaine's eyebrows shot up at the cliche - He and Kurt, didn't they always made fun of anyone who said that? Kurt looked Blaine in the eye, slapping his hand over his mouth as he realised what he had said, and then just like that they both burst out laughing. Blaine didn't care who should be making the first move, who should be saying sorry to who first, he just wanted everything to be okay. He moved forward enveloping Kurt in a hug, breathing him in, relief as Kurt hugged him back.

"Let's never do that again," Blaine sighed cupping Kurt's face in his hands. "That was, like, the worst hour of my life... "

"Officially our first major fall out, no thanks to me.." Kurt said dryly.

"Hey," Blaine perked up, "does that mean we get to have make up sex?"

"My god!" Kurt smirked. "I'm exhausted after tonight... but please come home with me. Just... be with me. I don't want to be separated from you... not tonight."

"I can do that. We can do that.." Blaine said, kissing Kurt soundly. "But I'm still voting for make up sex."

******

Kurt sat in the bar nursing his soft drink thoughtfully as he waited for Blaine to come on set. He wasn't chancing alcohol tonight- He didn't want to risk saying or doing anything he'd regret after his meltdown the other night, even if itwasjust in the heat of the moment. He was going to work a bit harder at being the best boyfriend he could be. He and Blaine had completely made up after their fall out but it definitely wasn't something Kurt wished to repeat any time soon.

The whole argument had exhausted them both of them and they'd fallen asleep tangled together as soon as they'd gone back to Kurt's apartment that night, just glad they still had each other to hold. They'd woken very early the next day and there'd been lots of fantastic make up sex. It had been slow and sweet, and very reassuring, but there was no getting away from the fact that they both needed to have the 'talk' about what they'd fallen out about in the first place. Kurt wasn't sure how they were going to resolve their issues, but somehow they had to.

Kurt glanced over as Santana came and slid in the seat next to him. He really wasn't sure if he was in the mood for her this evening, especially if she was in one of her outspoken moods. Without speaking to her, he returned his gaze to the currently empty stage where Blaine was going to be setting up any minute.

"My God.. you must have it bad if you prefer to stare at an empty stage in favour of saying hello to me." Fortunately Blaine chose that moment to come out to set up, giving Kurt a good excuse to keep looking straight ahead. He couldn't ignore her all evening, but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of giving in too easily. It seemed Santana wasn't prepared to take the hint and keep quiet either though.

"You must have seen that view plenty of times when he bends over for you in that twee bedroom of yours," she commented as Blaine bent over to plug in a cable on the stage. "Or maybe it's you who does all the bending over and you're justdreamingof the day when you get to thrust your big cock up his ass.."

Kurt snapped his head round. He knew she was only goading him, but she was hardly being quiet and he definitely didn't want his sex life, true or otherwise, discussed in public. "You obviously can't be getting any at the moment if my sex life is all you can think about," he hissed.

Santana chuckled. "I'm getting plenty, don't worry your pretty little head. I just love how you two get when you're desperate to get home to test out your mattress springs. Maybe you need to both invest in some baggy pants for sexy nights out, then it might not be so obvious."

"Okay, Santana, that's enough." Kurt felt his cheeks burning red. "If you make me miss any of Blaine's performance I'm going to get you banned from this bar. I don't know how, but I'll find a way." Kurt turned to the stageas Blaine was just starting to introduce his first song, realising he had probably sounded like a complete ranting nutcase.

Santana was quiet for a few moments. Kurt could feel her watching him. "Have you two had an argument?" she eventually asked, a little more gently. It was actually testament to how well they knew each other that she could read him like this. Kurt wasn't sure he wanted to tell her, but he really needed to talk to someone, and although she could be annoying she was nothing if not loyal.

He shrugged his shoulders, still watching Blaine, before sighing heavily and turning to look at her. "We may have done - it's still a bit raw at the moment.... but I can't lose him. I really can't. But I'm finding it hard to change, even though I want to." He then proceeded to tell her about Thanksgiving and what had caused the argument in the first place. "Thankfully he hung around and didn't leave, and I managed not to say too many spiteful things before I thought he'd gone. So I think we'll get through this, but we still haven't really talked about it yet - it does still need resolving though."

"You may not see it.. but the way he looks at you, takes care of you.. Well let's just say he doesn't look at anyone else like that. I think any worries on that side of things are all in your head." Santana smiled at him before taking a few minutes to watch Blaine performing. "I may make fun of you both.. but any idiot can see that you two are meant to be together.. just stay here in New York for Thanksgiving or something. Cook him dinners and pamper him when he gets home from rehearsals I don't know - just don't fucking mess this up Hummel," her sass returned with her last statement.

"Thanks," Kurt smiled, squeezing her hand briefly. "You're right of course.. and talking to someone about it has definitely helped put it in perspective."

"Okay, okay," she brushed him off. "We're killing each other with kindness here, and that's definitely not the way we work is it? I'll give you and hobbit ten minutes after he comes off stage before you're grabbing each others' crotches in the dark, thinking no one can see you...."

Kurt left Santana to her ramblings while he concentrated on watching his gorgeous boyfriend, feeling slightly more optimistic about things than he had before. Santana had given him something to think about at least.

********

By the time Blaine came and found him after his set, Kurt had also been joined by Nick and Sam. They'd heard there was going to be a karaoke session later on at the bar tonightand thought they'd come and put their names down. They were busy trying to persuade Kurt to put his name down to sing, when Blaine silently slipped in beside him, giving him a prolonged kiss on the mouth as he sat down. Kurt decided to ignore the smirk Santana gave him from across the table, not wanting her to start off on any lewd commentary about their displays of affection.

Blaine wrapped his arm round Kurt's waist tightly, pulling him in closer. "We need to have that talk Kurt," he said quietly in Kurt's ear, kissing his neck softly ..."tonightbaby. I don't want to put it off any longer."

Kurt nodded. He wished they could just go home and curl up in bed together and forget about everything and everyone else, but he knew they couldn't. Blaine had allowed him lots of naked, reassuring cuddles for the last two nights without even trying to discuss how they were going to get over the hurdle of Thanksgiving, so it was only fair that tonightthey would talk.

"Don't worry," Blaine whispered, feeling Kurt tense up, "I've a few ideas." Another kiss. "We'll work something out."

******

They found a small diner a short walk from the bar. Blaine had made their excuses when the boys had again begged Kurt to do karaoke with them and they'd left the bar with Blaine's hand pressed firmly against the small of Kurt's back to guide him out. The simple act of Blaine touching Kurt intimately, but on a publicly acceptable part of the body, always made Kurt's stomach swoop. It made him feel wanted and grounded, like Blaine was subtly keeping him under control - and weirdly he loved it. However, at this very moment, despite the fact that Kurt had no desire to do karaoke, he would rather be doing that than sitting here across the table from Blaine.

"So... why have we come here?" Kurt asked looking around the small restaurant. It was nice enough, but not the type of place they usually came to.

Blaine shrugged. "I just know that I'd forget what we had to talk about if we were alone.... I'd probably be marching you off into the bedroom without any thoughts about Thanksgiving."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt smirked, "you're such a bad boy. There was me thinking you're a proper gentleman." Blaine raised his eyebrows without commenting., a cheeky twinkle in his eyes.

They'd both ordered coffees. It could be a long night. They were both silent as the waitress delivered the drinks to the table. Once they were alone again Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand across the table. "Okay," he began, "I've been giving this a lot of thought.. I'm sure you have too..."

Kurt huffed a small laugh. That was understatement of the year. He'd never been in such turmoil.

"Anyway something came up at college today. You don't have to say 'yes' to it. It was only a thought and if you don't like the idea we'll just make another plan. Family is important to you I know so you might not want to..."

"Blaine.." Kurt said, slightly impatiently, "tell me. For God's sake just tell me. I can't stand the suspense any longer."

"Oh, right... Well some people can't stay behind for the whole of thanksgiving, and I know the costume department desperately need help with final fittings and alterations. I might have suggested to Mrs Fraser that I'd see if you could come in to help. She remembers you - of course she would - you were her star pupil - in fact she may have got a little over excited. I know you'd probably prefer to see your dad, but I promise you faithfully we can go back to Ohio for Christmas...."

Kurt looked down at his coffee on the table, unable to suppress a huge smile spreading across his face. This would be perfect. Blaine was perfect. He'd always loved the costume related classes at college, just as much as the performing really. He'd love the chance to help with the college production... and he'd be near Blaine too.

Blaine noticed Kurt's smile, relief spreading over him. Maybe he'd got this right. "I love you," was all he could say, smiling across at Kurt.

Kurt took a gulp of his coffee before saying anything. "My dad knows how stupidly crazy I am about you... I was going to stay in New York anyway - I'd already decided really - as long as you didn't mind me being around."

"I'll always want you around, Kurt. Whatever's happening." Blaine kissed the knuckles of Kurt's hand he was still holding, looking up at Kurt seductively. "Shall we go home? My apartment would be best - I think we're going to need some privacy."

***