Three months before my graduation, Grammie passed away.

She was my grandmother, on my mom's side, but she treated dad like her own son.

I remember when mom died, she insisted to come over and take care of us, despite the fact that she just lost her only daughter.

It was her who taught me how to bake and cook, wash and iron, and all the thing I needed to know for managing a household.

Grammie was generous and compassionate, just like mom.

She was one of the reason why I moved to New York for college. Dad had Carole to look after him, Finn was helping out in the shop as well, Grammie was alone in New York. She was strong and healthy for her age, but it didn't kept us from being worried about her safety and whether she would overwork herself. She was a florist.

I lived with her after I got into NYU for fashion design, helped out in the shop, did all the chores. It was one of the happiest time of my life. I never regret sacrificing all the fun and excitement of New York, for all the moments I spent with and for her. I don't think I'm missing out on anything. 

To me, she was everything.

But just before my finals, she collapsed.

It was a crazy day.

I was held back by a teacher, asking whether I would like to enroll in an internship for the summer with one of the best modelling company in the city, under his recommendation. And of course, I couldn't possibly turn it down. It was one of those life changing opportunities.

Finals weren't too much of a problem for me, unlike all the other students. I knew my materials well, and my classwork was always impeccable, it would be ridiculous for any teacher to fail me.

Well, to be honest, all the teacher loved me.

When I got back, it was almost six. Grammie was attending to one of the regulars, while I went upstairs to prepare dinner. It was absolutely normal and ordinary.

Before I reached the top of the stairs, there was a piercing scream. I didn't even bothered to pick up the five hundred dollar scarf Mercedes got me for birthday, I jumped off the flight of stairs, and there she was, on the floor.

Lifeless.

The rest happened in a blur.

I think I dialed 911, I think I went on the ambulance, I think I called dad when she was in the ER, I think I heard the doctor said something about heart failure.

I think.

Because I couldn't remember a thing about that night, not after I saw her body on the wooden plank of the shop. All I knew, was that, she was gone.

My life moved on, of course. It was as if I've stepped into a space of vacuum, where everything was on mute, everything was black and white. But I functioned.

Oddly enough, even I was on autopilot, my exam results still came out perfect. I wasn't even remotely excited as I thought I might be. Not even when I graduated at the top of my class.

I didn't turn down the internship, seeing that it's not going to change anything anyway, I went on with it, while Finn was sent by Carole from Ohio to manage the shop for me.

I never have the idea of shutting it down. Not even once.

Grammie left it to me in her will, it was set three years ago when I first arrived in New York. To my dearest grandson, with all my love. It was the first time that I've cried since her death.

This shop, the Mirth, it was her life, it was her. There was no way I'm going to shut it down.

When summer ended, I turned down the offer by the modelling company for a long term post, and stayed in the shop.

Dad never tried to talk me out of it, nor did Finn or Carole, nor did Rachel.

I was extremely grateful. Because I knew once someone talked to me about it, it would be impossible for me to turn away from it. It was everything I had dreamed for.

But I don't think I was missing out or I was robbed.

I chose to be in that shop, and I don't regret it.

However, dad did interfere, about me living in the shop.

"Kurt, I know you had a lot of memories there and you loved that place. But I just don't think it's safe for you to live there."

"Dad, you know it's hard to find another spot like this in New York, plus Grammie already bought this place, I will never have to be worried about being kicked out or couldn't pay the rent."

"I'm not asking you to relocate the shop, I'm just asking you not to live there. That all I'm asking."

And I know he was right. The shop was located at the best possible location commercially, but it wasn't ideal for a single, young, not to mention, gay man, to live in. It goes awfully quiet at night, and things do happen in the area.

"Okay, just give me sometime to look for a place, I promise I will move out once I've found a flat I could afford."

It turns out that it was easier than I thought it would be, when I said easier, I meant I found a better location in less than two weeks.

So this is how it happened.

Finn told Rachel I needed a flat, Rachel told Quinn about this, Quinn remembered that her mom had a friend who works in a real estate agency in New York, so Quinn's mom called her friend and the friend called me for details.

And after an hour, I received a call from Quinn's mom's friend.

"Hello dear! I've just found a place for you, it's the sweetest deal that I've ever found in two years!" 

This is how I, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, ended up in one of the apartments in Upper West Side of the New York city, fourth floor with no lift, ten minute cycle-distance from the shop, fifteen minute walk from the museums and ten minute walk from the Central Park, after laying the first eye on the apartment, with the last beam of dusk creeping in through the French window.

I was home.

(tbc)