"It's fucking weird as hell," Blaine complains over Skype the second night. It was Blaine's idea, actually. So they could see each other before going to sleep.

The phone call the night before almost worked, along with Xena sleeping at the foot of Kurt's bed. Until Kurt woke in hysterics at 4 am convinced that Karofsky was trying to kill him, of course. Luckily, he'd managed to keep his sob muffled in Xena's fur and his dad hadn't woken up. It'd almost worked.

Kurt keeps petting Xena as he listens to Blaine rant about his father's strange behavior. "It's only weird because he's not trying to kill you every other day," Kurt mutters.

"True." Blaine grins. "How's the dog?"

"A nightmare." Kurt mock glares at Xena and she licks his nose. Fleabag. Kurt scratches her ear fondly. She eyes the laptop screen and Blaine waves like the dork he secretly is. Before she decides to try to lick the screen, Kurt hugs her closer. "I miss you," Kurt admits.

"Miss you, too," Blaine smiles softly.

"So how did you terrorize your dad's girlfriend today?" Kurt raises an eyebrow expectantly. At Blaine self-satisfied smirk, Kurt rolls his eyes. "She cannot be that bad; she gave you your phone and the internet password. So you can talk to my needy ass."

Snorting, Blaine glances off-screen. "Don't be a moron; I wanted to talk to you too." Blaine slumps back in his seat. "She's dating my dad. Clearly she has issues," he sulks.

"Maybe you should give her a chance?" Kurt tries. Xena's ears suddenly perk up and she bolts out of the room, barking happily. "Dad's back from the store," Kurt says at Blaine's confusion. "Late night run. She's discovered that Dad likes to give her treats when he comes back. Traitor."

"Xena or your dad?" Blaine asks, amused.

"Both!" Kurt smiles when Blaine starts laughing. "Seriously, Blaine. I think you should at least talk to the woman. If nothing else, she's the reason why your dad is being civil towards you."

Blaine opens his mouth to argue, but there's a knocking sound and he glances over his shoulder. Groaning, Blaine gets up and walks off-screen. It's a little awkward to sit and stare at Blaine's empty bed, but Kurt manages. He flips open another window and starts reading some article on vogue, trying not to listen to the angry muffled voices.

A few minutes later, Blaine comes back into view, scowling. "Dad wants me to come down for fucking dinner," he says angrily. "And apparently he doesn't appreciate my fucking foul mouth. What a bitch, right, asshole?!" He shouts the last part and Kurt has a feeling Mr. Anderson is still there.

"Get your ass downstairs in five minutes," a hard voice snaps. "And lose the attitude if you know what's good for you."

"Why, you gonna hit me in front of your new whore?!" Blaine's expression turns dark and Kurt feels so helpless, trapped hundreds of miles away on the other end of a computer screen.

"Blaine." he whispers, but it goes unheard.

"Gonna beat the sass out of me? Or maybe the gay, right?" Blaine continues and Kurt can just see how it's calculated to piss off Mr. Anderson as much as possible. He drops his head in his heads and tries not to listen, willing Blaine to shut up. Blaine has other ideas. "It worked so great the last few times, you know? I figure couple more punches and I'll be eating pussy like it's my job!"

"BLAINE!" Kurt shouts. Shit, he really doesn't want to have to watch his boyfriend get the crap kicked out of him, not when he can't do anything to protect him. He watches nervously as Blaine finally looks at him, a light blush tingeing his cheeks.

A door slams and Blaine jerks around, but sighs. "He's gone," he mutters. Guiltily, he drags his eyes to the screen. "Kurt…"

"Don't give him a reason to hurt you. Please." Kurt keeps his voice just shy of begging. "Just…get through it. It's only a week and then you'll be back here and you won't have to see him for months."

"Thanksgiving," Blaine says darkly, but he rubs his face tiredly. "I'm sorry."

"Just be careful. And go; don't piss him off even more."

Blaine fiddles with his earrings instead. "D'you think I should tell Erica?" he asks hesitantly.

"Who?" Kurt is so confused; Blaine's mood swings are exhausting to keep up with.

"His girlfriend. Her name's Erica." Blaine shakes his head. "Like, I hate her, yeah, but I'm scared Dad's gonna start whaling on her now that he doesn't have me or Mom. Like he always starts off charming and shit but then he loses his temper once and promises it'll never happen again, but it does. This weird 'good father' act he's been doing the last two days…I don't like it. And then there're little things, like he's constantly criticizing her, but nicely, and telling her how she can be better and she just smiles and does it."

Once, Kurt stumbled on a documentary about domestic abuse. It focused on why women stayed with violent husbands and boyfriends and Kurt never understood why they'd put themselves through that until recently.

It's really hard to leave someone when they spend all their time telling you what a useless, undesirable slut you are and how no one else would love you, after all.

'We accept the love we think we deserve.'

The clich� quote pops into his head. It's from some book Blaine made him read, and to be honest, Kurt identified really well with it. And Charlie.

He's silent of another few seconds, trying to figure out how to word himself for Blaine. "I think you should talk to her," Kurt repeats. "No deserves what you and your mom went through."

Blaine nods unhappily and groans. "I gotta go. Text me."

"Okay."

"Tell Xena I love her, got it?"

"Yeah," Kurt snorts. "Anything else?"

Blaine chews on his lip for a second. "I'm really proud of you," he says, and a flood of warmth and happiness erupts in Kurt's stomach. "You're amazing. Love you."

"Love you too," Kurt whispers, and then the screen goes black before switching to his contacts list. Blaine's icon turns gray and Kurt lets out a slow breath.

Now he has two people to worry about.

Without Blaine around and the fact that it is spring break, Kurt suddenly finds himself with an over abundance of free time and nothing to do.

He plays with Xena and does some of the assigned homework, but for the first time in a long time, Kurt is completely, undeniably, bored. He's never fully realized exactly how much of his time gets taken up by his angstiness and crazy badass boyfriend until he's off his medication and Blaine's on the other side of the country.

Before Blaine, Kurt wouldn't have minded being alone for a few days. It used to be so familiar, so normal to just check out for hours at a time and get lost in music or sketching or trashy reality shows until he doesn't feel anymore. But now, the idea of sitting by himself in his room with no company but his own thoughts and insecurities...

Well. Maybe that's why the third day Blaine's gone he winds up outside of Finn's door and knocking hesitantly. As soon as he does it he regrets it, but then the shooting noises from the video games Finn always plays pauses and there's heavy footsteps and then the door opens and Kurt is faced with his giant stepbrother and no clue about what he had been thinking when he decided to walk up the stairs and leave Xena with his dad.

Finn stares at him with a confused look and leans on the door frame awkwardly. "Hey, dude," he says wonderingly. "Um, what's up?"

This part Kurt definitely hasn't thought through. He freezes with wide eyes and his voice gets caught in his throat. Blushing hard, Kurt mumbles something he's not even sure is an actual sentence and turns to leave. Possibly to die of embarrassment as well.

"Wait!" Finn calls and Kurt turns slightly. He's halfway down the hallway to his room and Kurt briefly considers just making a break for it, but something in Finn's expression stops him.

"Do you, like," Finn gives him a careful smile, like he can see Kurt thinking about bolting, "D'you wanna play Halo with me? The guys're all online but it'll be fun, we can teach you and stuff."

He and Finn still don't really talk, not even after that awkward night where Finn ended up crying on Kurt's bed. And Finn certainly never invites Kurt to play the Xbox with him and the rest of the glee club boys. Blaine sometimes gets invited over to Artie's or Mike's or Sam's, before, but never Kurt. And he wants to. So bad. He just wants to be included for once because he's still a guy, he's just gay. But...

"I'm not going to be very good," Kurt whispers, and he kind of hates himself for trying to run away again but the Finn gets this lopsided grin and Kurt convinces his legs to stay.

"Dude, me either, but you're kinda bored without Blaine right?" He nods at Kurt's light flush. "Plus, you're like, a guy."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "I'm very aware of that," he says dryly, wondering if maybe he should just go back to his room and call Mercedes. He's not sure he's up for the kind of patience hanging out with Finn requires.

"Not what I meant, man," Finn says with a wounded expression. "I just meant this is what guys do when they're upset or bored or whatever."

Kurt scrunches his face up in confusion. "Kill virtual aliens?" He deadpans.

"Hell yeah!" Finn grins. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

For some reason, Kurt feels his own face twitch into a smile in return and he walks back to Finn's room with a light feeling in his stomach. It takes him a second to realize that the feeling is happiness.

Once Kurt figures out how to aim and run at the same time (it's a fucking stupid control scheme; he has no idea what the game designers were thinking), he actually turns out to be pretty good. They play some online game with Puck and Artie and beat the other team quickly thanks to Kurt's sniping skills, and he and Finn trade off turns.

Two hours go by faster than Kurt realizes. He thinks he hears his dad walking in the hallway, but Finn's under attack and Kurt's too busy yelling at him to look up you idiot, you're going to get ambushed! The footsteps fade away and Kurt forgets about them when it his turn.

"Dude," Puck says over the microphone after a particularly exhilarating mission. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh so much."

Kurt flushes hard and hands the controller back to Finn. "Sorry," he mutters, but Puck backtracks and starts stammering before Kurt edges over into full-blown panic.

"No, no, Porcelain, I just meant—it's like—"

"It's nice, yo," Artie puts in. His voice is scratchy from static, but Kurt can still hear the white rapper accent Artie eorks so hard on coming through. "You're a lot funner to hang out with than we thought and we're glad we can make you happy. Maybe not like Blaine, but happy, y'know?"

"I don't have a lot of reasons to smile at school," Kurt whispers. He can feel his voice starting to tremble and this is so not the moment to get emotional but Kurt kind of sort of thinks he might have actual guy friends now and fuck, it feels really awesome to be accepted. Knowing Finn's still there and watching him, Kurt tries not to smile or cry, but Finn looks so pleased with himself that Kurt can't hold back a small laugh. To cover, he excuses himself and goes downstairs to grab them some sodas and chips and doesn't even think about how many empty calories he's about to consume.

He runs into his dad about to take Xena out for a walk and feels guilty, but Burt snorts and says he needs the exercise anyway. Kurt doesn't let himself think about how happy his dad looks at the sight of Kurt about to go up the stairs with an armful of junk food.

"Have fun, kiddo," Burt says with a wink, and disappears out into the spring. Kurt sighs and goes back upstairs, rolling his eyes when Finn nearly cries with joy at the sight of food.

Later, Finn starts him on some RPG and lets Kurt play awhile. When Kurt asks if Finn wants to play, Finn just smiles. "It's kinda fun to watch someone play once in a while, man. It's like, experiencing the game all over again 'cause you've never played and this time I don't have to do any of the work," he says.

"Does this mean you're going to help me out?" Kurt asks, half paying attention and half trying to not die from the weird creatures wandering about the underwater city.

"Fuck, no, I wanna see your face when the Big Daddies pop up," Finn laughs.

Kurt glares at him, but Bioshock turns out to be a pretty cool game. Blaine is impressed when Kurt texts him about it and keeps texting Finn for updates while Kurt's playing.

It's not until he finally stands up and stretches after hours of sitting on Finn's floor that Kurt realizes just how normal his day had been. Just like every other teenage boy.

What a strange feeling.

Kurt runs, runs, runs, legs burning and heart pounding and chest tight and breath ripping its way out of his throat, but he's too slow, too slow he's gaining he's gaining FUCKING HELP ME SOMEONE STOP HIM

He turns down another hallway and it looks just like the previous one. Lockers stretch out into the darkness, bright red and mocking and looming and they magnify Kurt's harsh breathing until it's screaming in his ears. Behind him are footsteps, big and heavy and full of inevitability and a laugh echoes louder and louder and Kurt turns with a sob to see himoh God and he's running again even though the lockers never end because what else can he do?

His nightmare, tormentor, torturer, assaulter follows, bigger and stronger than Kurt remembers, eyes cold and furious and huge hands holding a hockey stick. Karofsky slaps the stick on the lockers a few times as he chases Kurt, the clang rattling through Kurt's bones and shooting fear up his spine.

He knows exactly what Karofsky wants to do with that stick.

"Kurt?"

No. Please no.

"Kurt, where are you?"

He stops, feet suddenly leaden, and Kurt looks over his shoulder to see Karofsky's face curl up in a horrible smiles and Kurt just wants to throw up.

"Kurt!"

"RUN!" Kurt screams. His chest heaves and he can't breathe but he's going to do this. He's going to protect him if it's the last thing he'll do. "RUN, BLAINE!"

He steps forward to bolt again but large fingers wind through his hair and yank him into the lockers and Kurt collides with the unyielding metal with a harsh bang. His legs collapse beneath him and Kurt can feel thick blood drip down his face. The sick, coppery smell clogs his nose and Kurt gags on it.

"Kurt!"

Louder. Karofsky's eyes turn cruel and gleeful and he grabs Kurt's collar and yanks him to his feet. Slamming Kurt against the lockers, he presses close and Kurt can feel IT, digging into his stomach and he bites back a sob, oh God please help, he doesn't want this. Hard fists pound his soft stomach and chest until Kurt's screaming in pain and he hears Blaine, sweet Blaine, running closer.

No no no Blaine stay away no

He blacks out, Kurt thinks, but it's hard to think everything hurts everything's fuzzy and bright and loud and painful. The floor tile thing is cold against his cheeks and his breathing is followed by a weird wheezing and he can't move his lower body without PAIN shooting everywhere but he can see oh yes he can see and it's exactly what Karofsky wants him to. Kurt tries to move his hands, to reach out but he can't he can't he can't move and frustrated tears leak out his eyes and mix with the blood on his cheeks.

Blaine is next to him. Eyes dull brown, full of hurt and pain and loss and Kurt needs to touch him needs to tell him everything's going to be okay because this isn't real it can't be he couldn't have failed Blaine like this, it's not real.

Karofsky's on top of him, straddling Blaine's waist and bile rises in his throat at the sight of Blaine's bloodied clothes and broken body and the hockey stick a few feet away and bloodied at both ends and as Kurt watches Karofsky smiles and grabs Blaine's chin and hair and twists and something SNAPS loud and clear and it reverberates through Kurt's body and then Blaine's staring at him with DEAD eyes, EMPTY eyes and no no no nononono

"Wake up," Kurt whispers to himself. "It's not real; wake up; it's just a dream oh god please let it be just a dream," he babbles over and over and Karofsky stands up and walks towards him and Kurt can't move and Blaine's lifeless eyes don't let him look away he can't help help it's not real it's not real IT'S NOT FUCKING REAL

Karofsky's hands tug at his clothes and the air is cold against his skin as Karofsky flips him onto his back and strokes up and down his chest and lower and lower and Kurt screams.

"IT'S NOT REAL!" he can't stop himself "IT'S NOT REAL, IT'S NOT FUCKING REAL I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND YOU CAN'T BREAK ME BECAUSE THIS IS NOT FUCKING REAL—"

Kurt's crying so hard when he wakes up to Xena's frantic pawing and whining that he falls out of bed as he bolts for the bathroom. His knee bangs against the bed frame and a jolt of pain shoots down his leg, but Kurt's too busy trying not to vomit all over himself to really notice. He barely gets the toilet seat up before he's retching and coughing up all of the junk food he ate that afternoon. The cool porcelain against his forehead feels amazing until he remembers the dream and turning to see Blaine hurt bloodied abused dead and he throws up again, wincing at the harsh acid against his raw throat.

A pounding at his door startles Kurt and he jumps, heart thumping. "I'm fine, Dad," Kurt calls, hoping he doesn't sound like he's been sobbing for the past hour. Deep, gulping breaths, one at a time. It was just a dream. "It wasn't real," Kurt whispers to himself and squeezes his eyes shut.

"Kurt?"

"I'm fine, go back to bed!" Kurt's fingers clench around the toilet bowl hard enough to turn the knuckles white. The very last thing he wants is to see his father after that dream. They haven't been that bad in a long time. A faint whimper catches his attention and Kurt sees Xena huddled at the open bathroom door. Her ears and tail are low and she presses herself into the ground and watches Kurt so mournfully and fuck he's even being pitied by a damn dog.

His dad doesn't give up though. "Kiddo, I heard you, they've never been so—"

"I SAID I'M FUCKING FINE!" Kurt roars. The outburst scares him and Xena, who yelps and scoots backward a few inches but doesn't stop looking at him and Kurt is just so done. Burt knocks again but Kurt ignores it. He spits again into the toilet and wipes his mouth before holding out a tentative hand to his (and Blaine's) dog.

"I'm sorry girl, I wasn't yelling at you," Kurt whispers brokenly. "C'mere, I could really use some love considering my boyfriend's too far away and going through his own shit." He's prepared to sit there against his bathtub for a while to convince Xena to come closer to him, but Xena doesn't waste a second. She pads into the bathroom, nails clacking against the tiles and pushing into Kurt until she can lick at his face and nuzzle into his chest and Kurt can't do much else but wrap his arms around her neck and cry. Somehow, she knows to just wait and she doesn't move away from him even when he shakes and shudders under her.

It just hurts so badly and he can't explain it or think about it; he can only feel it and let it all out into her fur. Xena curls up half in his lap and the weight against his legs grounds him and keeps him sane and Kurt eventually just leans back and breathes. It's easier now. He doesn't feel like there's a giant squeezing his chest, no, now he can just breathe and relax and be calm. He's calm.

Kurt runs his hand over Xena's fur, scratching at her ears like he knows she likes. "What would I do without you, girl, huh?" he murmurs. "Thank you." He's quiet for a long time, suddenly bone-weary and exhausted. But he feels…incomplete.

"I should call him," Kurt says quietly. Xena makes a soft noise in her throat. "He'd want me to. I should—I should call him." Kurt's phone is on his night table and next to the bed. It's not that far. Literally, right around the corner. His heart lodges up in his throat and his hand stills on Xena, and Kurt hates that he's still so fucking scared. It's so stupid. He's not five anymore, he can go to sleep after a nightmare.

It wasn't real.

The dream flashes across his eyes and he can feel that snap that took Blaine away from him and his stomach roils and that's what makes up Kurt's mind for him.

Kurt nudges Xena off of him and he stands, albeit shakily and gripping the countertop with white fingers. He walks to him bed purposefully, but doesn't run, because he is calm. He's so calm. The phone, when he manages to pick it up, trembles in his hands but Kurt manages to get it unlocked and he flips to the phone app and taps Blaine's name before he wimps out.

It's late in California, almost two in the morning, but Blaine answers so fast Kurt wonders if he'd even gotten to sleep yet.

"Kurt?"

His voice is hesitant and hopeful and Kurt can imagine Blaine's huge hazel eyes looking at him with worry and earnest. Blaine just wants to help. He always has.

"Hey, Blaine," Kurt chokes out with a forced smile, wiping at his eyes again and sniffing. He's not very sexy at five in the morning but he hopes Blaine doesn't care. "I—um. I just…"

There's a soft rustling and Blaine's breath is even and steady in Kurt's ear. Kurt focuses on it, forces himself to match his breathing to Blaine's and he can feel the tension draining from his shoulders. He leans back on his pillow and Xena jumps up next to him, curling around herself with her back pressed up against Kurt's outstretched legs.

He closes his eyes and breathes.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Blaine asks softly half an hour words are honest and open and undemanding and Kurt knows exactly what he's going to do.

He's ready to get better and he's tired of carrying this load by himself.

"I want to talk to you," Kurt whispers, almost too low for Blaine to hear. "I. I think. I'm ready. To talk."

Kurt takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"I had a dream tonight. A nightmare."