Plug In Baby
Mmerainbows
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Plug In Baby: Chapter 48


E - Words: 2,217 - Last Updated: Apr 05, 2014
Story: Complete - Chapters: 60/? - Created: Feb 11, 2014 - Updated: Feb 11, 2014
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“Kurt!”


“Quinn!”


They rushed to hug one another until a nearby guard cleared their throat and Quinn backed off hastily, mumbling that they were only allowed one hug for only a ten second maximum.


“You look… wow… just amazing Kurt.”  She said as she slid into the seat across from him amidst tables of other inmates that were visiting.


“And you… you…”  Kurt stuttered on his words.


“Look like shit.  Don't worry babe.  I know.”  She winked at him and Kurt let out a breath of relief.  She was so small, so skinny.  She always had been, but now even more so.  He could feel her ribs when he had hugged her and even though that had always been the case when they had lived together in the city, it seemed more pronounced now that he was at a healthy weight.  The orange jumpsuit didn't suit her at all either, and without makeup to hide the bags under her eyes and the paleness of her skin, she looked so much older than she was.


“God Quinn… after you left… I never thought I'd see you again.” He admitted, reaching across the table to try and hold her hands which she pulled to her lap after the same guard tutted near them in warning.  Asshole.


“Me too… I mean… you were so lost there that I thought for sure you'd end up dying out on the streets rather than trying to get clean… yet I read the paper and now here you are.  It's some kind of miracle…”


Kurt smiled weakly, “You really thought I'd die out there?”


She nodded, “You lived for coke Kurt.  You'd just get high and so blissful and happy while it made me cranky the more I took.  I watched you getting smaller, weaker, and doing more and more things that came with greater risk… doing whatever they wanted you to do… I thought for sure you'd overdose one day and be happy about it.  I wanted you to come with me… but… you wouldn't, and I didn't think I could convince you to no matter what the reason was.”


“You were clean though Quinn… you said so yourself before you left.  Two months was it?  And then I found out you were pregnant… and you kept clean for all of that too.  Oh Quinn… why didn't you just tell me?”


“Would it have made a difference Kurt?  Really?”


Kurt bit his lip and looked at the table.  Probably not.  He had the memories of that other Kurt who just wanted to be high all the time.  That Kurt would have waved Quinn off just as easily had she been pregnant or not.  He wouldn't have given it up then.  He hadn't reached rock bottom at that point.


“I know you Kurt… well… I knew you I guess.  I never would have guessed in a million years you would have cleaned up and come back like you have.  I'm so proud of you Kurt.”


He smiled again, more genuine and less forced as he looked sadly upon his old friend.  By all accounts he should have been the one in jail because what she said was true, he was the one that would have killed for blow back before he had been dumped in the alley.


After updating her on what had happened, Blaine, school, the program he was in, Romeo, and reuniting with his dad, Kurt turned the conversation towards her.


“How did this happen Quinn?  You were clean…”


She shrugged and looked down towards her lap.  “I tried to get Beth… at least for every second weekend… but because of what I had done, and even though I had Junior, they deemed me unfit.  I had to prove I could stay clean for at least six more months and then reapply…. but the stress just got to me…. I was waiting tables, single parenting, living in a shithole apartment, trying to pay the bills and buy diapers, and then legal bills on top of it… My parents aren't like your dad either Kurt.  They kicked me out in high school when I was pregnant with Beth and I lived with Finn and then Noah after Finn found out the truth about Beth… My mom would slip me money back then but when I came back.. this time she wasn't as supportive… said I should have learned my lesson the first time…”


Kurt wished he could reach over and hold her, hug her, do anything to help her know how much he cared even after having not seen her for so long.  He felt guilty for not running back home with her.  He could have helped support her…


He instantly knew how Blaine felt about him in that moment and Kurt couldn't help but smile to himself about it.  He had always felt guilty about Blaine doing so much for him, but now… now he understood, and his heart warmed thinking about it.


“... one of the other waiters saw and offered me a little bit of marijuana to help me calm my nerves… but it was just like high school again.  It didn't take long for me to be in debt because I was buying drugs instead of paying the bills… and then I got an eviction warning and I didn't know what else to do…”


“My dad would have helped.” Kurt looked up, holding his hands in his lap to keep from trying to reach across the table again like he wanted to.


“God Kurt… I was so full of stupid pride….”  She was tearing up and there was nothing he could do about it.  “... I didn't think I could ask anyone for anything…. and then I was arrested and Junior was taken away….”  She gulped back a sob and looked away, trying to contain her emotions.


“Tell me about him.”  Kurt said, hoping talking about something more pleasant would distract Quinn from her tears.


“Oh Kurt… he's perfect.  The sweetest little boy.  I have some pictures of him in my room… but I can't bring anything out here… you'll see him though I'm sure.”


Kurt smiled, “Yeah?  How?”


She blinked then a few times, reaching up to wipe the tears out of her eyes.  “Kurt… do you remember the conversation we had before I left?”


He thought back, eyebrows trying to touch as his brow furrowed, “Vaguely…. I remember you talking about two months clean… and needing to leave and asking me to come…”


“Don't you remember what had happened two months before that?”


He rolled his eyes skyward, trying to dig up memories.  Everything from that time was a blur.  Sex, and drugs, and being so wonderfully high… he couldn't put a timestamp on any of it because it all ran together.


“Oh god Kurt….”  Her eyes went wide as he looked back towards her, “I thought you figured it out… I mean… I thought you knew then but had put it out of your memory… or you just didn't want to talk about it… or…. and I thought you were here because you pieced it together…”


A niggling feeling started in the back of his head and in his heart.  What was she talking about?  Piece what together?  


“Oh god… Kurt…”  She bit her lower lip and then quietly whispered, “Junior… K.J…. Kurt Junior….”


It took him a moment, but then he sucked in a quick breath and his eyes soon matched the openness of her own as he pushed his body back into the stiff chair.  No… no…. that couldn't be right….


“Two months before that… they made you… made us…”  She gulped, not even able to say it.  “And you know I always used protection on the street, with Cole, whatever…. but we were so high… and it just didn't happen… and… oh god Kurt…. I thought you had figured it out…”


He gripped the edge of the table, and couldn't press his fingers into it hard enough as his knuckles went white.  “Quinn… I… how can you know….”


“Even if I doubted it before he was born Kurt… he's just… he's you.  Just like Beth looks like me and no one can doubt who her mother is… he's definitely you.  Eyes, hair, build….”


Kurt was silent as he ground his teeth together, still holding onto the table as his heart tried to beat it's way out of his chest.  No.  He couldn't be a dad… he was gay, so happily gay.  He couldn't have slept with his best friend… gotten her pregnant…


Then, just like that, a spark of memory hit him.  It wasn't much, but it was definitely him laying back on the ground, eyeing up Big G's erection as his drug pusher stood above him and laughed while he stroked his member.  He could hear Cole laughing too, and as he looked over at his pimp, he saw Quinn bouncing up and down over him… on him…. oh fuck.


“I'm going to be sick.”  He warned and dashed towards the door where he remembered there being a wastebasket and promptly began emptying breakfast into it.


“Kurt!”  Quinn cried from behind him.  He could hear her trying to come up to him, but a guard must have intercepted her because he heard that familiar tutting again and no one came to his side.  


“Do you need to go?”  Another guard by the door asked, eyeing him up and down with a squint of her eyes.


He shook his head.  No.  As much as he wanted to escape this, and the memory, he needed to know.  Shaking, he stumbled back to the table where Quinn was sitting again, watching him with such worry.  Why didn't she tell him… why, why, why…..


“He's in foster care… but if I tell them you're the father… you can get a paternity test Kurt… you know I'm not looking for money or anything because what would be the point while I'm in here… I just want him to be okay…”


He nodded, using his pointer fingers to rub each of his temples as a headache began to violently take over his brain.  “You should have told me Quinn.. you should have…”


“I thought you knew and didn't want to take responsibility Kurt!”  She insisted, “And would it have made any bit of difference more than if you only knew I was just pregnant from a trick?  You didn't care about anything but getting your next fix!”


“How can I be a dad Quinn… fuck…”  His fingers twitched as he felt the itch for a cigarette hit him, hell, a whole pack of cigarettes.  “... I can't even take care of myself.  I rely on Blaine for so much… and …  just fuck.”


“I'm sorry Kurt…”


He bit the end of his tongue piercing between his molars, trying to make himself focus, just a little bit of pain to keep himself from freaking out - at least for now.  


“He really is the sweetest baby though….”


“Is he… okay?  I mean… did the drugs hurt him or anything…?”


She shook her head.  “I was honest with the doctors… they checked him thoroughly and I went for more than regular checkups with him afterwards just to make sure.  He's perfect… he really is.”


“And he's in foster care…?”


She nodded, “He's been to a few families already… but a couple of those families have brought him to visit me.  I miss him so much…”


The tears made a reappearance in her eyes, though this time Kurt felt no pity for them.  He was too focused on other things and his emotions were already having a battle within him for dominance.  Anger, worry, sadness, joy, grief… none of them were dominating and yet they all were.


“I need.. I'll have to get a paternity test.”


She nodded, “Yeah….”


“Will they even give me custody?”


She shrugged, “Your dad has power… even if they doubted your ability as a parent, I'm sure he could pull strings.”


“Fuck Quinn!”  He glared at her, the anger winning out for the moment, “You let me go on about school and my romantic life and the first thing you should have told me was about him!  What the hell!”


“I'm sorry Kurt… I'm so sorry…”


That was all Kurt could handle.  He loved her, platonically anyhow, but now that the anger was in charge he couldn't stay.  He stood up, shoved his chair in and walked out, calling back to her, “You tell them.  You tell them NOW.”


He saw her nod and then walked back into the lobby of the building, rushing to Carole who looked at him curiously before he rushed into a hug and started babbling up at her about it all.  


“Oh… sweetie…”  


He managed to survive the trip back by going through cigarette after cigarette, Carole never saying a thing but looking at him periodically with worry.  By the time they got back, his pack was empty and he could feel his emotions starting to declare war again, legs all jelly as he awkwardly waddled to the door.


Fuck.  He was a dad.  It might not be a hundred percent confirmed yet, but he knew it.  A dad.  Him.


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