Kurt watched as Blaine swam back and forth, back and forth in the pool before him.  He wasn't sure how many laps Blaine intended to do, but Kurt was grateful for the view, even though he still didn't understand why Blaine would choose the pool over the ocean.  Blaine's toned body was nicely on display as he drilled through the water and Kurt felt free to look since Blaine had, after all, willingly put on those tiny shorts and was putting on such a vigorous display of strength and beauty.

If only Kurt didn't have to maintain a shallow conversation while he was watching.

On the other side of the table was Shelby, sipping on some kind of tea while she also watched her son swim, periodically asking Kurt bland questions like “Are you excited about school starting” and “How is the apartment” and “Do you enjoy the dog” - all of which Kurt gave typical one word responses to. The dog question was the only one that gave Kurt pause, if only because he felt naked without Romeo around.  Wes was house and dog sitting back in the city - though now that he was out here, Kurt had to wonder why they didn't bother bringing Romeo out here with all the space he could run in.

“You like my son.”

Kurt didn't respond to the statement, instead taking a purposefully long sip of lemonade as he continued to watch Blaine's body ripple through the water.  

“He says you two are friends but you slept in the same room last night.”

Kurt sighed and took another sip.  This line of statements was so much more threatening than the questions that came before.  

“What are your intentions towards my son Kurt?”

That made Kurt choke a little on his lemonade, if only because he had to laugh.  Intentions?  Really?  

“We're just friends Shelby.”

“Friends with benefits?”

Another choking spasm was had on the lemonade and Kurt set the cup down.  “No.  Fuck… oh my god…”

Shelby laughed beside him, apparently amused by the response she was getting.  It quickly became clear where Rachel got her attitude from.

“Why are you wearing so much Kurt?  It's hot as hell out here.”

“I'm still cold.”  Thank god she changed the topic of conversation.

“You have deformities then?”

He turned towards her, his eyes glaring and his mouth formed into a snarl, “I am just cold.”

“Scars then?”

Kurt took in a long breath in and a long breath out.  She was trying to get under his skin and it was working.  “I have them but that's not why.”

“You don't want to be sexualized?  Seen as a prostitute still?”

Kurt grabbed the cup back and took another sip, his throat suddenly feeling very dry and needy.

“That's it then.”  She smiled smugly.  “So that eliminates the friends with benefits idea then.  That's good.”

“Jesus….”  Kurt shook his head.  He couldn't believe this woman had produced someone like Blaine.  Mind you, she did produce Rachel as well.

“My son is a tender soul Kurt.  I've always worried someone would take advantage of that.  He just wants to be loved and he only wants to love in return.  So much like his dad.”

“That's an awfully nice thing to say about your ex.” Kurt grunted.

“Our separation was quite amicable Kurt.  We're still very good friends in fact.  It was Blaine coming out that made us decide to separate.”

“That doesn't sound very amicable.”  Kurt frowned, his heart dropping a little as he thought of a young Blaine coming out and causing his parents to separate.  No child wanted to be the reason their parents broke up.  “That sounds awful in fact.”

“How much do you know about Blaine's dad Kurt?”

Kurt thought and his mind went blank aside from one detail, “He lives in Boston.”

“With his new HUSBAND.” Shelby purposely enunciated that last word a little too hard and too long, looking directly at Kurt whose jaw fell just a little, “We got married because I wanted kids but didn't want a needy, overbearing husband and he also wanted kids but also someone who would protect him from the whispers and teasing he had experienced growing up.  He and I grew up together in a different time.  Coming out wasn't an option he felt he could have… so while we have always loved one another, but weren't IN love.  We had our kids and then when Blaine came out and then got… attacked…”  She spit out that word before continuing, “We wanted Blaine to see that what he was… well that it was okay and we supported it.   We separated so Blaine's dad could be free to be who he was and be the role model Blaine needed.”

“That's…”  Kurt's heart ached, and his mind flashed back to his dad, telling him that he knew Kurt was gay and that he still loved him - even though Kurt had been awful to him - yelling at his dad as he came out.  He had tried to throw it into his dad's face to make his dad hate him, and all his dad had done was quietly and lovingly acknowledge it. “... I don't know.  I don't know what to say to that.”

“Blaine's dad is brilliant with money… you think my teacher salary bought me this place?”  She laughed, “No… he wanted to make sure I had a nice set-up when we split.  Blaine will tell you that both his dad and I pay for his place, but we all know it's just his dad.”

Kurt was quiet at that.

“Which means if you're worried about being kicked out, it wouldn't be me you'd have to worry about.”  She whispered over, voice laced with delight.

“I do like Blaine…”  Kurt said as quietly as he could manage, eyes locked on the figure in the water going through the water like it was butter. “... but as a friend and I'm not at a place yet where I can even consider a relationship. Quite frankly, I think he could do better anyhow.”

“Oh hell Kurt.  You think we're one of those hoighty-toighty yacht club families that ranks people based on how much they have or don't have?  Please.  So long as my baby is loved and cared for none of us care how much the person has…. but I can respect that you've been through a lot and that you need time to figure out who you are as an individual before you dive into a relationship. Just know that he likes you too.”

Kurt shrugged.  Blaine liked him as a friend and as a bed-mate, he got that.  If there was any indication that Blaine liked him more than that - he didn't see it.

“Certainly more than that scumbag he was dating.”

“Sebastian had money… and he was going places.”

“And he would have gotten Blaine infected with something from his sleeping around and crushed Blaine's spirit in the process Kurt.  I want my son to be happy, not just well-off.”

The whole direction this conversation had taken wasn't any better than it had been and Kurt needed to change things up.

“Did Blaine grow up here or in Boston?”

Shelby shook her head, looking back out at her son.  “Neither.  I came out here because it was closer to my kids when they left the nest - even though neither of them ever visit… and Blaine's dad moved out to Boston because that's where his husband works.  Blaine grew up in Ohio.”

Kurt coughed, so suddenly and violently that even Blaine heard him and stopped his swim to look over worriedly.  Kurt managed to shake off the shock though that had led up to that moment and waved a dismissive hand over at Blaine before calming himself and looking back at Shelby, who also had an eyebrow perked up in concern.

“Sorry.  Went down the wrong tube.  Ohio?”

She nodded, “Westerville.”

Well shit.  Blaine had only ever been a hop, skip, and a jump away.

“I had a job teaching out there and Blaine's dad can do his work from anywhere.  Rachel went to a private school, and Blaine was in public school of his own wishes until the… incident and then we insisted he go to Dalton where there was a strict zero tolerance policy.  That's where he met most of his friends, Wes included.”

“You don't like to talk about what happened to him huh?”

Shelby shook her head, “No parent wants to think about their child being hurt like that… We raise them… trying to tell them the world is generally a good place but to not talk to strangers just in case… think they'll be okay because of that, and then… well…”  She sighed and looked over, “Most parents just want their kids to be happy and safe.  Those boys that hurt my son… they took that away from him, all because we always tried to tell him to accept himself… He did, and…”

Kurt shook his head.  People were assholes.  Didn't matter if they were in New York or Ohio.  The world was not generally a good place, it was generally a bad place and people choose to only see the good.  That was why Blaine hadn't seen Sebastian for what he was.  That was why Blaine had taken Kurt into his home.

“Well he seems to be fine with what happened…  no worse for wear.”

Shelby offered Kurt a smile and nodded, “Yes.  He's a strong boy.”

“I wouldn't call him a boy….”

“He'll always be my baby boy.”  Shelby asserted, “I'm sure your parents would say the same about you.”

Kurt went silent again and looked away.

“I'm sorry…  I'm making assumptions…”

“No… and… well yes.  My mom is dead.”

“Oh sweetie… I'm sorry…”

Kurt shook his head.  “It's okay.  It was a long time ago.”

“And you dad?”

“Haven't seen him in years now.  I don't know… but I didn't leave on good terms.”

“But he must love you…”

Kurt sighed, “Can we not talk about it?”

“Alright.”

The pair of them continued to watch Blaine swim laps and despite being under an umbrella, Kurt was definitely regretting the hoodie on this particular day.  It was hot out, and the humidity was making him sweat something fierce, but he wasn't about to shed any layers out in the open like this.  It wasn't like he had anything to show anyhow, not like Blaine did.

Eventually Blaine came out of the water, his body glistening with beads of water as he happily accepted a glass of lemonade from his mother who grinned knowingly towards Kurt.  He deftly averted his eyes once Shelby caught him, the thought occurring that Blaine's mother and his psychiatrist must be in league somehow the way they both caught on to him and seemed to want to direct him towards doing more than using Blaine as a pillow.

But he knew he wasn't ready.  If there was only one thing in the world Kurt knew, it was that.  More than that though, Blaine had just gotten out of a relationship himself and, besides, he was more of Kurt's caretaker than his equal.  Kurt didn't want to be involved with someone who had all the power… not again.  Maybe one day… when he could take care of himself.  When he didn't just need Blaine, but was in a position where he could just want him…

“Excuse me.”

Kurt retreated from the patio as soon as he recognized what his mind had just been doing, splashing cold water on his face as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror.

He had thought about the future again.  His future.  Sure he had planned to do some college courses and keep himself clean, but he didn't know where he was going with either of those things.  They were just to keep himself focused and occupied.  But he had just had a thought about how he wanted to have a relationship in the future.  How he wanted it to be.  Wow.

Kurt studied himself in the mirror.  He still didn't recognize himself - he hadn't in a long time.  The pink hair, the piercings, the dark circles that never seemed to go away… it was like a mask.  Somewhere under it all was what he really was, but he didn't even know how to find that person again, and if that person in the past was really who he wanted to be.  

There was a knocking on the bathroom door, and then Blaine's hesitant voice asking, “Kurt?”

“Yeah… yeah… just a minute.”  He washed his face over again, trying to cool himself off now, if only for a minute and then dried his hands off and left the bathroom.  Blaine was leaning against the wall outside the bathroom, a robe now covering him, waiting for Kurt.

“You alright?  You went kind of pale out there.”

Kurt nodded, “Yeah… just… really need a cigarette.”

Blaine rolled his eyes and nodded, “Right.  Cancer sticks.  How foolish of me to worry.”

Kurt chuckled and gave Blaine a gentle elbow to the side as he walked past, “Come on now.  Can't give up all my habits at once.”

“I think you're doing pretty good on giving up the bad things in your life Kurt.”  Blaine said as he walked alongside Kurt, “Maybe it's time to start eliminating another thing.”

Kurt smirked.  He knew how badly Blaine hated his cigarettes, but he still needed some kind of fix, even if the nicotine was mild compared to a cocaine high.  “You're right.”

“Really?”  Blaine beamed.

“Yeah.  Time for me to stop chewing my nails.”