“A drop of water, if it could write out its own history, would explain the universe to us.” -Lucy Larcom

Kurt heard Blaine approach well before the curly haired man made himself known.  Kurt knew the sound of his footfalls, could hear Blaine's breath and knew from his time in Kurt's cabin the tempo of his breathing.  

Still in the kitchen, and looking outside as he remained on watch, Kurt's headache hadn't lessened since he had come downstairs, nor had the ache in his backside for that matter.  What had changed was his self loathing had only increased and he wished he could just fade into the background and hide himself away until he was more capable of dealing with his emotions.

He couldn't though, and now he would have to speak to Blaine even though he wasn't ready to.

Blaine hovered nearby for a moment, and Kurt pointedly did not turn his attention to him in that time, feigning ignorance of his presence.  It was easier that way.  He didn't have to meet Blaine's eyes or let Blaine see the burning in his cheeks.

“Is.. your head pounding as bad as mine?” Blaine finally said by means of letting Kurt know he was there.

Kurt made a noncommittal grunt in response, keeping his eyes locked where they were.  He was becoming very familiar with the outline of the house across the street, but it was better than having to face something actually scary behind him.

He heard a shuffling behind him as Blaine shuffled from one foot to the other and then uttered meekly, “I'm sorry Kurt… I was drunk and much too rough….”

Whether or not Blaine had been rough, Kurt didn't know.  He didn't know because it had been the first time he'd ever been with anyone else, and now he knew Blaine was more experienced than he was because Blaine at least seemed to know that it was rough.  That wasn't the issue though.

“It was a mistake.” Kurt deadpanned.

“Kurt….”

“I'm on watch.”

“If I could just talk to you about -”

“On watch.”

“Well maybe -”

Kurt snapped his head right around then, eyes protruding and red, nostrils flared, and face flushed.

“Don't you get it?  I don't want to talk about it!  It was a mistake.  A fucking terrible mistake.  We are NOT talking about it.  Now leave me the hell alone!”

Blaine took a step back, and now Kurt could see that Blaine's own eyes were just as bagged and red as his own must be.  As Blaine's chin lowered to his chest and he let out a long, low sigh, Kurt then was able to watch Blaine's back as he walked out the door in defeat.

A new pain added itself to Kurt's list of qualms - a numbness in his chest.  He replayed the scene that had just unfolded between them and could only hate himself more.  He didn't know what he would have said or done differently had he the ability to go back in time to change things, but he knew instinctively he had been wrong in what he had done.  

To add to it all, Blaine confirmed what he already knew what must be true.  They had sex because they were drunk and for no other reason.  Blaine didn't find Kurt gorgeous any more than Kurt found Blaine to be trustworthy.  There had been nothing romantic at all about the night before and Kurt imagined it probably resembled some B-grade porno flick the way it played out, making him feel sick to his stomach.  

It was definitely not the idyllic way he expected to have his first intimate encounter.  There was no gentle touches or extensive foreplay.  No shared smiles or tender loving words.  It was just quick, rough, and needy.  It would be how Kurt would forever distinguish lust from love, with the experience from last night definitely defining the most basic of lustful pursuits.

And now it was just another notch on his list of things he regretted in life.

Quinn was the next one to walk into the kitchen, her footsteps just as distinct - a quick clack made with each step.  She made herself known right away.

“Well you look like shit.”

Kurt didn't even bother to turn her way.  If she thought he looked terrible from a side profile, he knew he would look downright horrid face on.  “Thanks.”

“No.  Really.  You look like you were run over by a stampede of angry horses.”

“I get it Quinn.”

“You ever consider getting laid?  At the very least it would might make you look less grumpy.”

Kurt's grip around his bow became tighter, as did the muscles of his throat as he swallowed back all the saliva in his mouth.  Did she know too?  Did she hear it or did Santana already go back on her word?  Or maybe Quinn truly didn't know and just happened to make the worst possible comment at the moment.

“Lay off Quinn.  He had too much of the sauce last night.” Santana's voice sang out from the living room.

Quinn huffed, “Well he shouldn't drink it if he can't handle it.”  She left the room then, thankfully leaving Kurt alone again to try and unfurl his fingers from his bow before he gave himself a splinter.  In the next room, he could hear murmured conversation, Sam's voice included too now, and knew that everyone was up.  Hopefully they could all just have their breakfast and get on the move so Kurt would have something to do other than to stare at nothing and stew.

Santana brought him breakfast shortly thereafter, setting it on the counter before him.  “Should I even ask why you're pissy or can I just assume that the sex was bad and you have a hangover.”

“I really don't want to talk about it Santana….”

“Whatever princess.  Just eat then.  We'll leave once we're all done.”

At least the breakfast had some dried strawberries among the dry oats he had to chew on.

They left their temporary home, which was in reality much more comfortable than what most of them lived in back at the community, and began touring the town, stopping in each and every house to discover what treasures they could.

“Man you guys are organized.” Kurt heard Blaine comment at one point.

It was true.  They had a saddlebag dedicated to things they would bring to the clinic, a bag dedicated to any arms and ammunition they found (which had always been few and far between since that was the first thing people seemed to bring with them when they abandoned their homes), a bag for canned and boxed food that still might be good, a bag for any technical or mechanical things they could use (replacement pieces for the generators and motors they had, WD-40, and the like), and a bag for things that might trade well (like feminine hygiene products, make-up, and razors).  Five of them, five dedicated saddlebags.

Anything they wanted for themselves had to go into their own backpacks - most of which ended up being clothing and hygiene items on any given trip, with the occasional book in the mix.  Not everyone bothered with reading anymore, and so Kurt was the defacto contributor to the library room, with the exception of how-to books which had been their main source of how to farm and live off the land in the early days of the community.

Kurt otherwise ignored the rest of the group for most of the day, always staying a little further back than everyone else.  He had already gone through his water ration for the day in an attempt to flush the headache out of him, and it had helped to take the edge off, but he was still sore in the temples and aching all over.

Especially down below.  A persevering reminder of how easy he had been the night before.

It was midday and their bags were all filled to the brim when he heard Santana chastising Blaine up ahead.

“It's useless, don't bother with it.”

“But I could -”

“Leave it.  Your pack is full.”

When they left the desk they had been looking over, Kurt immediately knew what Blaine had been about to grab.  A small white device, clearly an old smartphone sat on the desk.  Kurt ran his fingers over it and then quickly grabbed the item and slipped it into the front pocket of his coat.  He didn't even need to think about it.  

He paid attention after that, and saw Blaine give several longing looks towards other things ahead of him, and each and every time Kurt was able to find a phone or old music player where Blaine had been looking.  By the end of the day, he didn't have any more pockets left to fill.

“We should spend another night here.” Quinn stated, watching the sun go down in the horizon.

“We should leave now and set up a camp to sleep at on the way back.” Kurt retorted.  He had no desire to spend another night in this town and have to figure out room arrangements which he wouldn't be adhering to anyhow.

“Vote then.” Santana directed.  There was another reason why they almost always went in odd numbers on scavenging missions.

3-2 in favour of leaving.  Santana and Blaine voting along with Kurt.  He knew he'd always have Santana ready to get back to Brittany, and Blaine, he could only assume, wanted to avoid anymore awkwardness as well.

They packed up the horses and set off, Kurt inwardly cursing himself right away for suggesting they leave that night.  If his rear was hurting while they walked around town, it was absolutely on fire having to ride a horse.  He bit his lip though and ensured he took lead.  That way at least he could try different riding positions without anyone questioning him in the attempt to find a way to ride comfortably.

The best way he found, was a standing in his stirrups position that had his calves aching by the time they made camp.  

“Quinn can take watch since she slept so well.”  Santana told them, more of an order than a suggestive given the bite in her tone.  Kurt, for once, didn't argue and once they had eaten, he found a place to lay down several yards away from everyone else before dropping into a quick and easy sleep.

His dreams were, as always, littered with nonsense.  Dancing and singing on a stage, his mom and dad in the audience clapping wildly for him, drinking hot chocolate inside his old home after going sledding on a cold winter's day, seeing the Eiffel tower for the first time and posing for pictures in front of it.

And in every one of the dreams, there were those damned honey eyes on him.  In the audience clapping with his parents, cuddled beside him and sipping his own cocoa, or the one taking the photos in France.  Kurt couldn't even escape him in his dreams.

When it finally came that Kurt was dancing on stage with Blaine, he made himself wake up.

Everyone else was still asleep, so Kurt used that time to empty every pocket of the devices he had collected and tucked them into his backpack.  He had left room in his backpack, even discarding his old boots and putting on newer ones he had found instead of taking them along with him, just in case.  

“Kurt…?”

He was zipping up when he heard Blaine's groggy voice and sighed, turning in place.  His anger had been spent throughout the day and now he was just tired and sad.  “What?”

Blaine was sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before looking up towards Kurt.  “Can we please just talk?  I gave you space all day but -”

“There's nothing to talk about.”

“Stop interrupting me.”  Blaine hissed through his teeth and stood.  It was the first time Blaine had ever been contrary and surprised Kurt, who clamped his own mouth shut.  “I get that you think I'm a mistake, but we've got to coexist until spring so maybe you could just try being civil for a moment and talk to me like an adult.”

Kurt felt his cheeks burn and he looked toward Blaine blankly.  He was right.  “Okay… but.. not here.”

“Fine.  Lead the way.” Blaine grunted, leaving a space of several feet between himself and Kurt as Kurt led him well out of earshot of the rest of the group.  Sleeping or not, he didn't want to share this discussion with them.

Clasping his hands behind his back, Kurt sedately nodded towards Blaine.  

“Okay, first of all, you might think it was a mistake, but you need to know, the only thing I think was a mistake was the fact that it was alcohol induced and that I wasn't… kind.  I feel really awful about that… but I don't just throw myself around like some kind of floozy Kurt.  I am, and have been, genuinely attracted to you.”

A rush of adrenaline flooded Kurt's body with that admission, and he had no where to channel the sudden urge to run and hide.  His breath held for a moment as his eyebrows lifted, looking towards Blaine with the same blankness he had earlier.

Blaine looked back, waiting for a response he wasn't getting before speaking up again.  

“And I get that you might not share that attraction… and last night was a mistake to you because you did something you otherwise wouldn't have, but I need to be honest with you about how I feel because you deserve that at least.  To know how I feel.. however ridiculous it might be.”

“It is ridiculous.” Kurt muttered, his lips as tense as the rest of him as the words seemed to float through them.

“Well… anyhow… I just want you to know I am sorry… and I hope we can still be friends.”

Is that what they were?  Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and clenched his eyes shut as he processed the information.

“Look… I'm not used to interacting with others as much as I have been… with you anyhow… can you just give me some more time to think?  I'm just… not good at this shit Blaine.”

“Of course…” Blaine said quickly, and Kurt noticed his face has brightened noticeably when he looked back to him.  “... I'd say take all the time you need but I'm afraid, that with you, I'd never get a response.”

Kurt's mouth pulled into a tight lipped smile and he nodded.  What exactly he was supposed to be thinking about he wasn't quite sure - and that was part of his problem.  The status of their friendship?  His willingness to forgive Blaine for what Blaine perceived as wrongdoing?  Kurt didn't know, and that was what he really needed time to think on.

“Anyhow… that's it…”  Blaine muttered, digging the toe of his shoe into the dirt.  “Anything you want to say?”

“No.”

“I'm somehow not surprised.”  Blaine said with a chuckle.  “Can we at least be civil with one another?  I'll promise not to freak out on you if you don't freak out on me?”

“That depends…”  Kurt said, lifting his chin up as he looked towards Blaine, letting those damned honey eyes dig a little into his own head, “... you going to get me drunk and bend me over again?”

Another chuckle and a shake of Blaine's head, “No.  Definitely not.”

“Good.  Civility it is then.”

They returned to where the rest of the group was sleeping and got the horses watered and fed in silence.  By the time the sun was creeping over the horizon, everyone had awaken and eaten and it was time to move again.

The time spent on the saddle, leading the group home did nothing to help Kurt answer the questions or come any closer to deciding how to handle things.  He knew he couldn't be snappy about it, even though that was his gut reaction to dealing with it.  If only there was a book on the subject he could refer to, some Idiot or Dummys guide to dealing with drunken one night stands in post-civilized society.

Of course his dad would have had a well thought out and brilliant answer, making him consider thoughts and feelings he didn't even know he had, unfortunately though, Kurt wasn't able to channel his father's voice, much less his wisdom during the ride home.   

A glint in the distance, only a few kilometers out of the community caught his eye and he pulled the reins on his horse, bringing it to a sharp shop.  He squinted, trying to figure out if it was just the sun hitting something reflective, or something else and pulled the binoculars off the case they were kept in on his belt.

Something… or someone… was in the tree's up ahead.  He could make out a leg but not much else.  Whoever they were, they weren't moving so he could see anything more than a slender calf, and what was truly odd was that that calf was naked in this cold weather.  The feet themselves couldn't be seen because they were buried in snow.  

He held position, keeping his focus on the leg ahead of them through his binoculars and when he heard the rest of the group approaching, he held up an arm - the sign that he had something in sights and to remain quiet.  

Santana and Quinn held their reins out to Sam and Blaine as they got close and hopped of their own horses and pulled out their own binoculars to determine what Kurt was looking at.

“What the fuck… who the hell is out in the snow without clothing….” Santana whispered with a grumble.

“Maybe mad old' Kevin from the home got loose.” Quinn said, referencing a senile old man who lived in the old brothel and was known for shedding his clothing and taking a run through town on more than one occasion.

“We've all seen Kevin… whomever that is isn't hairy enough to be him.” Kurt murmured, wishing whoever was there would set into view.

Blaine slipped off his horse and held a hand out towards Quinn, who was the closest to him, “May I see?”

She looked over the edge of her binoculars at Blaine, brow bunching as she silently questioned his reasoning, but handed over the binoculars which he quickly put to his own eyes and followed Kurt and Santana's sight line with.

“Might be a shifter….” He uttered quietly, or at least more quietly than the gulp of his throat which followed.

“A shifter?”

“An Other than can change shape… they don't wear a lot of clothes… if any.  Interferes with the change.”

“Jesus….”

Kurt couldn't wait any longer for the figure to move on it's own.  He slipped off his horse and started stalking to the side a few meters, everyone else watching him with nervous eyes as he crouched low and slipped his bow off his back before pulling the binoculars back to his eyes.

From this point, he could see more of the figure by the tree.  He… she?  was tall, willowy, and so much more pale than Kurt had ever been.  The sharply pointed ears gave no question as to what he was looking at, nor did the inhuman shock of long blue hair which ran down its back and around its torso - so light and fluffy it almost looked like feathers against it's body.  He held his breath and his heart stilled.  This was the first time, in person, he had seen an Other.

It seemed to be unaware of their presence, picking cones off the tree it was flushed against and sniffing them one by one.  The cones ended up discarded to the ground once they were done being smelled, at least until it seemed to find one that pleased it and popped it into its thin lips and began chewing it.

Taking his eyes away from his binoculars, Kurt looked over at his group, all impatiently looking right back at him.  He gave a nod towards Blaine, confirming what Blaine had suggested which set all the rest of the group, save for Sam who was now holding the reins of all their horses, creeping to join Kurt's side and look through the binoculars for themselves.

“God… look at that hair…” Quinn whispered.

“Forget his hair, look at her tits!” Santana exclaimed in her hushed state.

Kurt looked again.  Sure enough, under the feathery hair, was a set of developed breasts.  So it was a female Other.  

Blaine borrowed Quinn's binoculars again and watched for a moment before handing them back.  “She's just eating.  She'll probably go once she's full.”

Kurt returned to watching the alien species.  She was completely enrapturing.  Every movement lined with grace - so fluid and purposeful.  Those ears… how anyone could think Kurt was one of them when his ears only peeked a little was a mystery because her ear tips seemed to stop peeking at the top of her head and fall out to the side a little.  Even the ears on Blaine's chain weren't a good indicator of how long those ears really were since they had dried and shriveled up - and from half-breeds for that matter.

At one point she turned towards them, and all at once they sucked in their breaths and held them in their mouths.  Eyes so blue they were clear in the lens of their binoculars and lashes that feathered out themselves in the same deep blue as her hair.  Everything about her screamed magical, and if that wasn't enough, a shimmer and a tremble had her morphing before their eyes into a large blue bird which rapidly hopped up into the air and took out in the sky over them.

“Holy…..”

“Fuck…..”

“They're something aren't they?” Blaine murmured.  He hadn't even been watching since Quinn, Santana, and Kurt had been held captive by the sight through their binoculars, yet he seemed to know exactly what they had seen.

“How do they even….?”

“Magic.” Blaine said simply.

Quinn shook her head, “So wait… they can change into animals?  How did we not know this?”

Blaine stood and moved back to the horses then, the rest of them following him and eagerly waiting for answers.  In that moment, it was Blaine who held all the secrets and had the answers they wanted, and that made him quite popular very quickly.

“They all have powers….”  Blaine finally said with a shrug, pulling himself back up onto his horse and thanking Sam for holding the reins.

“What kind of powers?” Santana demanded to know.

“How is it that you all don't know these things?” Blaine queried with a furrowed brow, looking towards Santana and Quinn who were blocking his horse's path.  “Everyone knows this stuff…”

“We don't.”

Blaine sighed and shook his head, “There are those that change into animals…. like that one you just saw….”

“Any animal?”

“Any animal… including some that have been extinct or thought to be fantasy until ten years ago….”

“Shit…”  Santana looked out over the snow, “We should start shooting down those dogs that come by the town…”

Blaine snorted at that, “Don't.  For starters… they don't lose weight when they change.  You saw that once change right?  Did it look like a regular sized bird?”

“Well…. no…”

Kurt was sure he was just seeing things when he saw how big that bird was the Other changed into… but if they didn't lose weight, that meant it was just one huge bird….

“Secondly… dogs really are mankind's best friend.  If we didn't use the quads my group would keep a good lot of them.  Dogs are good early warning systems for the presence of Others and will protect you against them.”

Santana's tune quickly changed.  “I'm going to adopt me some of those dogs…”

Blaine smirked and just nodded, “Anyhow… I'll be happy to share everything I know about them…. I didn't realise you all didn't know that much about their magic, but maybe we could get back to town first?”

Begrudgingly, if only because they wanted to know everything as quickly as possible, Quinn and Santana got on their horses.  While Blaine had been talking, Kurt had gotten on his, not wanting to seem as insistent as the girls, especially given the events of the previous night, though he definitely had kept an ear open.

The remainder of the ride was rushed.  Everyone was eager to get back and Sam had the girls recounting what they had seen down to the last detail several times over by the time they returned.  Without waiting, Santana told Mercedes to send a call out for all the guards to have an urgent meeting in the kitchen and then promptly told Blaine he was coming.

“You're going to tell us EVERYTHING.”

It seemed to make Blaine nervous, though he nodded in compliance.

It was the first time Kurt had ever seen Santana wait around after returning home from a scavenging instead of rushing to find Brittany.  Workers came to deliver the specific saddle bags to their intended locations and, individually, the group all kept their own packs affixed to their backs as Santana was leaving them no time to make a run home before this meeting began.  Quinn also stuck around, even though she wasn't technically a guard but a worker, arguing that because she hunted so much, the information would be invaluable if she came across one of them again.

Before long, they were in the kitchen, crowded with guards and those who were curious enough to sneak in.  

“We saw an Other.” Santana announced to the group who quickly fell into chaos with a range of reactions from shocked silence to panicked screams, making Santana have to yell several times to get everyone's attention again.

“It didn't see us.  It was eating and then changed into a bird and flew off.”

Now the reactions were more hushed, though excited whispers were springing up all around Kurt.   It can't be so said some, while others questioned how amazing that would be. Kurt tuned them out, turning his focus back on Santana, standing so firm and dominant at the front of the room with Blaine, meekly aside her, head hung.

“Blaine here knew all about it…. guessed right on what it was and everything.  Apparently he knows a shitload more than we do - so he's going to tell us everything he knows…”

Eyes all flocked to Blaine then, who made a nervous little chuckle and looked up.  “Well….”

And it began, all mouths shut and heads looking straight to him for the next hour as he talked about the type of magic he'd seen over the years.  Changelings that could take the form of an animal, true vampires that lived off the flesh of others and dominated the night, Others who had mastery power over elements like ice or wind, even magic that formed as music or color was described to the best of his ability.  Periodically someone would ask a question, though those questions lessened over time as there were something things Blaine simply couldn't explain.

How did they get their magic?
How do they control it?
How do you stop it?

Blaine told them about things different groups did to protect themselves.  Dogs were brought up again, as well as minimising damage to the local environment - apparently some Others were attracted to sites of destruction.  Staying away from major waterways was mentioned - the one thing they already knew, as well as avoiding the underground.  Old mines were death traps he explained, claiming that Others had apparently trapped humans in them never to be seen again.  Kurt was suddenly quite glad he hadn't ever learned how to mine.

It went on.  Blaine described how he had seen a whole army of them marching near what had been Seattle once.  He and his ground had to hide for over a day under leaves as they marched by, unable to eat or relieve themselves or even sleep.  He had seen the changelings - birds, cats, horses, a unicorn once even.  

He told them, that through binoculars of his own, that he had seen one of their vampires tear apart a human man until nothing was left but a splatter on the ground and a pile of bones.

“How are any humans even still alive against things that can do that….” One man uttered quietly - though in the silence that it was spoken in, all could hear him.

“They just don't seem concerned about wiping us completely off the planet….” Blaine said with another shrug, “At least… not yet… there are some humans they even coexist with…. and have children with.”

Now there were quite a few gasps, save for Kurt who had already heard about half-breeds.  Blaine told them about the small communities where Others and humans lived together and had children.  Some people didn't seem to know how to respond to that, while others made retching noises.

“I don't….”  Blaine looked at Santana, “... I don't know what else I can tell you…”

Santana nodded and looked out over the group.  Technically she wasn't their leader, but right now she was definitely acting like one.  “Good.  Be prepared for more questions… I'm sure we'll have some later once we are all able to process this.”

Murmurs of agreement rose up in the crowd, some of which who were already on their way out while others were staying behind and talking quietly amongst themselves.  Blaine looked relieved, his whole demeanor slackening when Kurt peered towards him.  Santana had just left him there, used for his information and no longer of any use - at least not for the moment.  She had Brittany to run off to now.  Quinn left with Noah, the ice between them almost noticeable, and Sam lingered for a bit, probably to see if Mercedes was coming by, before he left.

Kurt took off after Sam, walking with urgency back to his home.  What Blaine had said to them all seemed to float to the back of his head, despite being so important.  He needed to figure out where he stood with Blaine.  Or at least stop thinking about him so constantly that he could get his priorities straight.

The pack was emptied onto his bed and Kurt sorted out the new clothing, razor blades, and soap he had claimed into their places - leaving the small pile of phones and old music players centered on the bed.  What secrets would they hold?  Who did they belong to?  Would they even work still?

Kurt knew he wasn't going to be able to find out without Blaine's help, so they got swept to the side as he laid himself in bed, quite happy to drown out his thoughts with sleep.

Dreams of dancing again.  Dreams of unfettered joy.  Dreams of… footsteps?  

No, those were real.  

Without opening his eyes, he woke, and focused on the unfamiliar footfalls.  Too light to be an adults… or at least an adult human.  One of his hands had fallen behind the pelts in his sleep and he balled it into a fist, just in case.

“Mr. Hummel?”

His eyes snapped open and he sat upright slowly, seeing young Beth there, pink flannel pyjamas stuffed into oversized boots and her dark blonde curls pulled into two pigtails.  Her brown eyes set on Kurt.

“Beth.  What are you doing here?”

Her forehead wrinkled and Kurt noticed then the teddy bear she held in her hands that she was fidgeting with, “Well…. Mom and Dad are fighting.”

Kurt sighed and held out his arms to the young girls, finding them rapidly filled with her body as she climbed up into the bed and into his lap, curling up against him.  Even though he had just hugged her the other day, it was an all too otherworldly feeling.  She had definitely grown quite a bit since she had last sat in his lap like this.  

“Is it scaring you?” He asked, making small circles on her back with his hand to try and soothe her.

“Hmm?  No… they fight lots… I'm used to it.”

“Then why are you here Beth?  Don't you think they'll worry if they can't find you?”

She shrugged in his arms, “It's not the fighting that bugs me.”

“Then what is it?”

She looked up at him, eyes so serious now, “It's what they do AFTER they fight that bugs me.”

“Huh?”

“Y'know…”  She wrinkled up her nose at the thought and whispered towards him, “The ADULT stuff that makes ‘em happy again.”

Adult stuff…. Kurt thought and then a shock of realization hit him, a blush along with it.  Beth was old enough now to understand what sex was.  Oh god…

She seemed to find his embarrassment amusing, chuckling softly at his reaction, “They won't notice me gone until morning.  It okay if I just stay here for awhile so I don't have to listen to ‘em?”

Kurt just nodded.  They would no doubt be furious with him if they noticed her gone and with him, but he could deal with that.  What he couldn't deal with was walking in on them in the moment to return Beth home.  

“What're those?” Beth asked of him then, pointing towards the pile of electronics at the end of the bed.

“Ah… well… remnants of the past.  Blaine and I are going to see if we can do anything with them.”

“Blaine….?”

Kurt racked his brains.  Beth had always been taught certain manners, including to always call adults by their last names.  It was really a silly practice in this time and place as last names were only ever useful if there were two or more people with the same first name.  What was bothering Kurt though was that he actually didn't know Blaine's last name.

“The guy who lives beside me… the one who came with his friend who's in the clinic..” Kurt offered as a means of explanation.

“Oh.  You mean Mr. Anderson.”

Blaine Anderson.  It definitely fit him.

She wasn't helping Kurt not think about him though.

“Right.  Anyhow… if they work, I'll show you what they can do.  You'll be amazed.”

“If you say so Mr. Hummel.”  Beth crawled out of his lap then and into the space in his bed beside him.  Funny how he could be so comfortable with her there but not Blaine he thought to himself as he watched her pull a blanket up and over herself.  “Can you sing to me?”

“I haven't sung to you since you were so much smaller Beth…”

“Please?”

He had a really hard time saying no to those brown eyes, and his mouth was opening before his brain could say no.

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one Ill always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one Ill always love

It was a song off one of the phones Blaine had, one that had burrowed into his mind despite not being something he might have listened to in his life before The Tides.  Why it came to him now was not something he would have been able to answer.  He watched Beth smile up at him and close her eyes, letting herself become immersed in the song not unlike how he did when he had one of the phones there to listen to.

Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

“S'nice.”  Beth murmured while Kurt sang.  “Haven't heard this one ‘fore.”

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one Ill always love
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

He heard Blaine's footsteps outside then, but kept on singing to Beth, watching her body relax and drift off.  He had probably either woken or, unintentionally, drawn Blaine's interest by singing.

Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Before you

When Blaine came in, slowly opening the door, Kurt put a finger up to his lips and made a nod towards the sleeping little girl in his bed.  A small o formed on Blaine's lips - quickly understanding why Kurt must have been singing so openly.  He slipped out from the bed and crept towards Blaine, whispering, “Her parents were fighting.”

“Poor thing.” Blaine whispered back, looking over Kurt's shoulder at Beth before looking back to Kurt. “Your voice…”

“Yeah… sorry.  I used to sing her to sleep when she was a tot and she wanted it again.  Rough I know.”

Blaine quickly shook his head.  “No.  Amazing… Brilliant… Gorgeous.  Definitely not rough.”

The ground became instantly interesting to Kurt as he glanced down.  It was bad enough Blaine was so gracious about his singing voice… but that word again - gorgeous.  All at once the memories of two nights past hit him and he curled his arms around his stomach to try and calm the butterflies fluttering about within him.

“Thanks.”

“Do you want me to maybe… let her parents know she's here?”

Kurt glanced back at Beth.  It might be a good idea to allay any possible worries they might have.

“Sure… but if they sound like they're… ah…”  He should be able to say the word dammit, Kurt thought to himself.  He had done it himself now after all.  “... ah… intimate… just leave a note under their door.”

Blaine's bushy eyebrows crept up his forehead at that, but he nodded and turned to leave without further question, allowing Kurt to breath in his relief and return to the small girl in his bed to cuddle.

Why was cuddling a little girl so much easier than snuggling a grown man he had had sex with?

Why did he think these things when he had a little girl in his bed?  Did that make him some kind of pervert?

Kurt just sighed and tried to put it out of his thoughts, trying to focus on falling back asleep.  Like anytime one tries to focus on sleeping though, it didn't come easily, and he didn't manage to fall back asleep until well after he heard Blaine's footsteps outside on the return to his home after going into town.

His dreams returned him to his fantasy life.  In this iteration he was in a full tuxedo, exceptionally crafted and fitting him like a glove.  He stood on a stage, holding an award, and thanking a faceless crowd of people before him.  He didn't know what the award was for but he seemed quite pleased to be receiving it.  As he exited the stage, the faceless people all stood for him, their clapping continuing.  Kurt had the feeling that something terrible was about to happen, and sure enough the faceless people all began to melt in front of him.  He screamed, but nothing came out of his mouth, and tried to run but found his feet locked in place.  He was trapped and voiceless and so completely terrified.  

Then there was a glittering light above him and front it a bird slowly flew down, landing before him and morphing into the Other woman from his real existence.

He opened his mouth again to scream, and again, nothing.  

She looked him over as she stood.  So much taller than he was, and even though she was a female, even he could not deny her beauty.

“Oh Kurt…”  She spoke, reaching out and stroking long fingers through his hair, “You know it couldn't last.”

Her touch warmed him, warmed his vocal chords, and he found himself able to speak.  “What?”

“Your happiness.”

He looked around her, at the analogous blobs of what had been the audience, steaming piles of gray now, and then back to her.  “Why not?”

“You're not supposed to be happy.”

“Why can't I?”

She smirked, and those crystalline eyes of her suddenly glinted, fire raging within them as they turned red.  In one sharp move her hand retreated from his hair and shot into his chest.  He gasped as he felt cold fingers wrap around his heart from the inside.

“Because that's not your purpose.”

That was when Kurt woke up, panting and gasping for air, his hands reaching to his chest to make sure it was all intact as he lingered between his dreams and consciousness for a few moments.  When he was sure he was fine, he looked over at Beth, still asleep beside him and breathed relief that he hadn't woken her with his stupid dream… nightmare?

His hands remained over his heart protectively as he laid himself back and caught his breath.  He had thought the intense dreams he had of Blaine were bad, but they were nothing like that.  So real and frightening.

It had to have been not only seeing his first Other, but hearing Blaine speak to the guards about Others that caused that dream.  Usually his dreams were a welcome escape into a fantasy where he didn't have to worry about anything but enjoying himself, not a hellish horror scene.  

Whatever the case, Kurt couldn't get himself back to sleep after that, and just let himself be used as Beth's cuddle pillow for the duration of the night while he stared up at his ceiling wondering how a dream could make him so unsure about his ability to be happy.

Comic by crazie-crissie