Fire With Fire
Mmerainbows
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Fire With Fire: 3x02: I Am Unicorn


E - Words: 4,339 - Last Updated: Sep 05, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 45/45 - Created: Aug 04, 2013 - Updated: Sep 05, 2013
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Blaine leaned over and swiped the package of chocolate chips off the table beside them. The two jocks to whom the package belonged to glanced at one another as they saw him do it, and then looked away, unsure of what to do now for the cookies they were supposed to be making in Home Ec class.

Tearing open the package, Blaine helped himself to a mouthful of chocolate chips and then offered some to his Home Ec partner, Brittany, before pouring the rest into their already overly chocolate chipped cookie batter which he continued to mix. Brittany was having Blaine mix the batter because she was protesting the use of the word 'beat' to describe what they needed to do to mix the ingredients, saying it was too violent.

Blaine honestly liked that about Brittany. Her little eccentricities made her fun to be with, and she always provided the most unique insight on things when everyone else seemed overly concerned with just conforming to the status quo.

Like Blaine, she really didn't care what anyone else thought of her.

"I'm telling you Brit... he's got great ideas... he'd be great for the school." Blaine said while he worked. It was one of the few times of the school day not shared with Kurt, though thankfully, he had Brittany there to talk to.

"Total unicorn." Brittany conceded to him, just watching him mix. Blaine had been talking up Kurt to her for the past few minutes as the topic turned to local school politics. Brittany had noted how no girls were running, and somehow knew the past six senior class presidents were male, so Blaine felt the need to support his favourite boyfriend's campaign.

"Plus he's super hot in all those little suits he wears..." Blaine mused, licking his lips over as he thought back to the night before when Kurt was trying on various ensembles looking for the perfect presidential outfit.

"I liked him better when he dressed like a cowboy... or a lumberjack." Brittany noted. Blaine was well aware that the only other person to have tasted Kurt's lips, aside from Karofsky, was Brittany, and even though that probably should have made him jealous, or even irritated with Brittany, he actually didn't mind it. He looked over at what she was doodling on her notepad, not surprised to discover it was another unicorn. Brittany certainly loved her unicorns.

"You're actually pretty good at drawing Brit..." He noted, not lying. With a little bit of tutelage, she could be quite the artist.

"Yah.... hey.... maybe Kurt would let me help him with his campaign posters..." She looked up thoughtfully.

"I think he would love the help." Blaine said, now balling up individual cookies to put on the baking pan. Hopefully this would turn out at least half as good as what Kurt had made for dessert the other night.

"I have lots of good ideas... I just need lots of glitter..." She mused.

Blaine chuckled and took the pan to put in the oven, setting the timer. Kurt had this idea that if Blaine did really well in this class, he could do more of the cooking when they were together. It had Blaine considering failing the class on purpose just because he didn't want to give up having Kurt's cooking more than necessary, but unfortunately, he needed these credits.

So did Brittany for that matter. They had paired up as cooking partners and Blaine discovered she was taking this class for the third time now, so he had a vested interest in getting her through this class so she wouldn't have to suffer through the wretch of a teacher they had again.

It also meant he had dibs on licking the batter out of the bowls first.


"Brittany's coming over tonight." Kurt whispered to Blaine in the choir room.

"Oh?" Blaine asked, cocking an eyebrow up.

"She wants to be my campaign manager. We're going to work on posters together tonight."

Blaine grinned. He was happy that his boyfriend and his buddy would be working together. They had always been friendly enough with one another, but never really friends, so this would be a great opportunity for them to bridge that gap and make it easier for Blaine to hang out with both of them at once.

At least when they were all dressed anyhow. He still needed regular naked boyfriend time, and as good of friends as he was with Brittany, he had no desire to see her girly parts. Quite the opposite actually - girl parts grossed him out.

Mr. Butthead introduced Coach Beiste, Miss. Pilsbury, and Artie as the directors for the school musical since he was stepping back to focus on Glee club and Nationals. Then Mr. Butthead went on to tell the group that he was having daily Booty Camp lessons for those less dance inclined including Mercedes, Finn, Puck... and Kurt. Kurt immediately protested, prompting Mike to complain about Kurt's one dance move.

Blaine kicked the back of Mike's chair, shutting him up right away. "I happen to like that move." He snarled, and Kurt's hand set itself on Blaine's shoulder to pull him back a bit.

"Blaine. You're in booty camp too. You thrust too much when you dance and need to reign that in." Mr. Butthead announced.

Blaine shot his glare from Mike to Mr. Schuester. "How I thrust is between me and Kurt... and he seems to like it well enough."

Kurt hissed from behind him, but Blaine was busy staring down at Mr. Schuester. What an arrogant asshole.

"Blaine..." Kurt snapped at him after a second, and Blaine reluctantly sat back in his seat and looked over at Kurt, who was beet red.

"Sorry." He mumbled over.

He was only sorry Kurt had been embarrassed. He wasn't sorry about getting angry. Jerks were making fun of him and Kurt's moves - which Blaine knew perfectly well were fine. If anything, Kurt had all the right moves in his mind.

"Anyhow..." Mr. Butthead transitioned from that awkward moment with the accompanying awkward silence by talking about possible numbers for sectionals.

"I can't believe you said something like that in front of everyone." Kurt whisper-hissed over at Blaine, the anger clear in his voice.

Blaine frowned, shrugged, and then whispered back, "It wasn't everyone... and he needs to get his head out of his ass anyhow."

"Blaine! My brother is in here and all of my friends! When you talk like that about me... in front of everyone... it makes me feel so... dirty."

Blaine arched up an eyebrow, "But babe... you are kind of dirty..."

Kurt shot him a glare that told him to shut up, and Blaine surrendered to it, staring down at his shoes for the rest of practice while the idiot at the front kept yammering. He didn't see the big deal. Teenagers had sex... if they didn't it was because they were ugly or uptight. Even Wheels had gotten laid last year by Brittany. Yet sex was this whole taboo topic they weren't supposed to openly discuss or admit to for some stupid reason. It made no sense to him.

If anything, they should be talking about sex more... so they could swap tips and advice and the like. They were in a school after all - wasn't education a priority? Even sex education?

Granted, Blaine's sex education came mostly from web searches and porn. His parents never broached the topic with him - the most he had even heard from them was that he needed to wash down there when he was much younger. His older brother, who was quite the playboy, was not a lot of help either - only providing Blaine with tips on how to pick up girls, even though he knew Blaine liked boys. And his grandmother... well, Blaine was convinced the only time she had sex was when she was conceiving her children. The old bat would walk out of the room if a TV show had someone kissing on it, and throw a fit if there was anything more than that. He couldn't imagine that she actually enjoyed sex with that attitude.

"Blaine..." Kurt spoke, breaking Blaine out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw everyone was leaving. Thank goodness - glee club was over.

"Yah... hmm?" Blaine looked over at Kurt, tensing as he saw Kurt's eyes narrowed and lips pressed together. He was still angry. Shit.

"Let's go. Clearly we need to discuss some things." Kurt grabbed his bag and led the way out. Blaine sighed and followed.

Clearly, he was going to get bitched at.


Blaine took another long drag from the cigarette, holding the smoke in his mouth as he handed the cigarette back over to Quinn.

"You're coming here more and more Blaine... thinking about joining the ranks of skankdom?" Quinn asked, taking a drag as soon as she finished asking.

Blaine shook his head, exhaling and letting the smoke waft around his head as he felt the tension slip out of him as he got his nicotine fix. "Fuck no... I'm quitting smoking... soon... I just needed to relax..."

"Right... sure...." Quinn rolled her eyes beside him. "You're quitting and yet you go through more of my smokes than I do."

"Fuck... I'll pay you back for them. Can't steal them off my grandmom anymore anyhow."

Had he really been smoking that much?

"Sure. How about you just buy some packs off Sheila? She sleeps with this warehouse manager who gives her cartons of them."

Blaine reached over to take the cigarette from Quinn's fingers and took another drag. God it felt good. He could feel it hitting every tense point in his body and just mellowing it right out. He wasn't sure what he was going to do if... no, WHEN he quit to relieve the stress, but at the rate he was going if he didn't quit he'd have lung cancer within the year.

"Sure. Hook me up with that." He decided, finishing off the cigarette and flicking it down to the ground. This spot under the bleachers was perfect for smoking. It was out of sight, quiet, and the ground was covered in rocks and gravel so he didn't have to worry about stomping out the cigarette since there was nothing for it to catch fire on.

"You know, you'd look pretty hot with a tattoo..." Quinn noted, looking over him. He cringed. He hated it when girls checked him out. Fine, he was good looking, he could concede that, but he didn't like them thinking about him in that way. Just... yuck.

"Thought about it more than a few times... could never settle on what I'd want to get."

"How about something that shows your love for little Kurtie pie?" It was spoken half with seriousness, and half with tease.

"One.. he's far from little." Blaine winked and Quinn made a small o with her mouth as if the thought had never occurred to her. "Two... that's not a half bad idea. Get a tattoo that expresses my commitment to him... that could win me major brownie points..."

"Let me know if you want to do it. I know a guy who won't require your mom to sign off on a permission form since you're under age." Quinn pulled another cigarette out from her pack and lit it.

"Yah... I think I will...." The more Blaine considered the idea, the more he liked it. Some decisions would have to be made - what kind of style and where to put it - but he really thought the idea had merit. It couldn't hurt to try and get some favour with Kurt - who had given him a verbal lashing for embarrassing him in front of everyone. Apparently it made him feel slutty and whorish. Blaine just apologized and promised not to do it again. At least he hoped he wouldn't do it again. Sometimes things just seemed to fall out of his mouth without them even passing through his brain.

He nodded a goodbye to Quinn and headed back into McKinley, stopping in the washrooms first to spray on some cologne and wash himself off, trying to get the smell of cigarette off or at least minimized so Kurt wouldn't pick up on it before heading to calculus.

He slipped into his seat and looked around. Kurt wasn't there yet so he reached across to the desk in front of him and helped himself to a pencil and a few papers from the guy in front of him who merely dodged his hand and didn't say a word. It wasn't the first time Blaine had helped himself to the guy's supplies.

When Kurt walked in, Blaine was already writing down the notes the teacher had begun writing on the board. They smiled at one another as Kurt slid in beside him and took out his binder to start copying the notes as well. It didn't take long for Blaine's foot to hook itself around Kurt's as they worked.

Kurt chuckled at the contact and whispered over, "I swear... you're magnetized to me."

There was more truth to that statement than Kurt probably realized. If Blaine caught sight of Kurt, he immediately wanted to be physically connected with him somehow. It was a constant craving.

Blaine smirked over to Kurt and set the pencil down, waiting for the teacher to go over the examples. With his hand free, it too crept over to Kurt and settled on his thigh.

Kurt just rolled his eyes and kept on writing. Last year he would have blushed or even pulled away shyly, but now it seemed like he had gotten used to Blaine's constant want of him, and had just accepted it.

Which was good because Blaine had no intention of ever letting him go.


"You HAVE to audition Blaine... there won't be enough guys trying out as it is and we need someone to play Bernardo or Officer Krupke." Kurt said beside him as they practiced dance moves in the choir room as a part of booty camp.

"Ugh... no... it's enough that I'm in glee isn't it, and I have football still too." Blaine asked, flawlessly making the moves Mike was directing them in.

"Kurt! No jazz hands!" Mr. Butthead called out and Blaine shot him a glare before looking back at his adorable boyfriend who had tucked his hands back at his side as he moved.

"Blaine... come on. You're an amazing singer and we won't be able to put this on unless we have enough people to fill the roles." Kurt pleaded, and damn, he was making those eyes at Blaine.

Blaine grumbled and finally relented, "Fine... " he dipped his voice into a whisper, "... but you owe me a blowjob."

Kurt made a happy little hop in place, drawing the attention of everyone else as he did the celebratory jump. Flushing red, he returned to synchronizing up with the group as they moved and whispered back, "Agreed."

Blaine grinned to himself. Maybe he should make more deals like that in the future.

After booty camp, Kurt rushed to clean himself up since his audition was right away. Blaine watched as he redid his hair, changed his clothes, and checked his face.

"Do I look okay? What am I saying... I look awful... why did they schedule this after booty camp? It's a test... that's what it is. Can I handle the stress..." Kurt rambled, checking himself out from every angle in the school bathroom mirrors.

Blaine rolled his eyes and set his hands on Kurt's shoulders, pushing him towards the door. "Go. Get this over with."

Kurt let out a final breath and walked out, Blaine following, towards the the auditorium. As they went in, Blaine stayed behind the curtain to watch Kurt as he did an over the top rendition of I Am the Greatest Star, complete with gymnastics and sai spinning.

When he finished, Blaine clapped along with Beiste, Miss Pilsbury, and Artie. Kurt skipped back behind the curtain and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, "I think they really liked it!"

Blaine chuckled and wrapped his arms around Kurt, "Well of course they did dummy."

Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine's cheek. "And what did you think?"

"I thought it was good...."

Kurt arched a brow immediately. "Good? You always say amazing or fabulous. Why good? What's the but?"

Blaine sighed. Caught. "But.... Now I know singing songs traditionally done by women is your thing, but when you made me watch West Side Story... well it seemed like Tony is kind of a more macho guy and that song didn't necessarily... give the impression that was the role you wanted."

Kurt's eyes went wide and his mouth agape. "Oh no..." He looked to the side, "You're right..."

"But hey! You're the best one for the role. You'll totally get it." Blaine said, letting Kurt go so they could hold hands and head out for supper before Blaine had evening football practice.

Kurt smiled gently back to Blaine, his eyes still showing that he wasn't as sure about his performance. Blaine squeezed his hand supportively and leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek. "You've got this babe."

"I hope so... this would mean so much to me. I need the acting credits for my NYADA application."

"And you'll have them." Blaine asserted.

One way or another.


Blaine didn't get to talk to Kurt again that night. Football practice was long and hard. By the time he got back home he managed to get to his bed and immediately passed out. He didn't remember having to work this hard last year at football, but the ache in his chest reminded him that last year he wasn't smoking nearly as much either.

So the next day, when he saw Kurt sulking through the halls after first period, a period they didn't share, he became concerned.

"What's up babe?"

Kurt dropped his head against Blaine's chest and moaned sadly, "I don't excite Beiste's lady parts."

"Uh...." Blaine had his brow furrowed up in confusion. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Kurt snapped his head back up to look at Blaine, "No! She doesn't see me as a Tony! Neither does Artie! I overheard them and they think I'm not tough enough and too delicate! I got Rachel to help me show that I could play a romantic male lead, but everyone laughed! They laughed! Even Rachel!"

Kurt looked like he was near tears and so Blaine grabbed him by the hand and led him to the washroom, glaring at the couple boys who were in there so they got the message to leave.

Once they were alone, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, "They're fucking morons if they don't cast you as Tony."

Kurt tearlessly sobbed against Blaine, "You were right... I needed to pick a tougher, more raw song.... I need to play a tough guy and I'm an an innocent little flower."

"Fuck..." Blaine tipped Kurt's chin up, "One... I'm pretty sure I took your damn flower so you don't have one or are one. Two.... for the same reason, we know you're not innocent. Three, you're the toughest one in this fucking school whether or not any asshole director realizes it. Four... it's a fucking high school play. It's not the big leagues. Don't let these petty asses get to you."

"But I need the acting credits Blaine... I need them...."

"I know, and you'll still get it. I wouldn't worry about exciting Beiste's lady parts because I sure as fuck wouldn't want her lusting after me. They know you're the best regardless of how tough you look. If you really want to convince them, show them your abs... or biceps... or hell, that giant muscle between your legs."

Kurt let out a chuckle between his heavy heaves and grinned at Blaine. "I think I'll save that particular muscle for you."

"Damn straight you will." Blaine said, grinning back at Kurt and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Now clean yourself up. We have a French test I intend to do better than you on."

Kurt laughed again and turned to go to the sink to wash his face off and freshen up as Blaine watched him quietly.

Who was he kidding. Kurt always beat him on tests by at least one mark.


Blaine had to miss out on booty camp that afternoon because he had a doctor's appointment. A doctor who chastised him for smoking, which he denied to the obvious skepticism of the doctor. The denial his mother didn't believe so he was further berated for continuing on with the filthy habit by his mother.

When he finally got home, to the sanctuary in his room, he locked the door and sat on his bed to check his text messages.

Brittany's not helping me campaign anymore.... -K

What? Why? -B

She's going to run for class president. She said she realized she was a unicorn. -K

Fuck! -B

It's my fault. I snapped at her yesterday when I was upset. I saw her putting up all the pink, sparkly posters after I heard what they thought of me as Tony and I didn't want to be seen as more feminine than I already am. -K

You're not feminine. You're more man than anyone else I know. -B

Nice of you to say, but I still feel bad about it. -K

Let me talk to her... -B

I don't want you to interfere Blaine. I know she's your friend. I don't want to get between you two. -K

You won't. Ever. You're always first. -B

I still refuse to cause a rift between you and Brittany. -K

You're not... just... fuck. This reeks of Slutana. -B

Santana is her girlfriend. She has every right to make Brittany feel like a unicorn. -K

Whatever. You're the one who has a big pointy thing. -B

Promise you'll be good? -K

Aren't I always good? -B

Blaine... -K

Yes. I'll be good. -B

The instant they said their goodnights, Blaine called Brittany. He would have texted her, but that usually involved digging through too many of her emoticons to find the message and he wanted to get to the point.

"Hey Brit."

"Hi Blaine. What's up?"

"I heard you're running for class president from Kurt."

"Yah! I figured out that I'm pretty special and since there hasn't been a girl president in a long time I think the school is due for one."

"Brittany... you know how much this means to Kurt right? He feels really bad about snapping at you... but he really needs this."

"Well I don't think it's fair that he gets all the top spots. Maybe I need it too. Maybe I'd like to get into a nice college after high school."

Blaine sighed. She did have a point, but this was Kurt, so Blaine wasn't going to back down.

"I know you will Brittany. Here's the thing... the school Kurt wants to get into, usually only accepts about twenty students a year. It's super competitive. Most colleges accept at least a thousand students by comparison. He really needs every little thing to help."

"But what if I want to go there too?"

"Do you even know the name of the college he's applying to Brit?"

Blaine heard whispers in the background and then Brittany told him. "NYADA."

"Is Santana there?"

"She's pretty much always here. We were having lady kisses when you called."

"Brit..."

He could hear a swish and suddenly Brittany's voice was replaced by one that was saucier and more direct.

"Lay off Brit Blaine. She'd be a great class president."

"Fuck you Slutana. Kurt needs this."

"Do us all a favour and mind your own business. This call is over."

*click*

Blaine looked at his phone and growled to himself. That bitch. She was purposely interfering, just like she always did, to stir things up. No doubt she was busily turning Brittany against him as well.

This wouldn't stand.


Kurt patted Blaine's back gently before he walked onto the auditorium stage in front of the production directors. He had managed to get through the day without ripping Santana a new hole, figuring he could focus on getting back at her in a more intelligent way than he usually did with the jocks.

In the meantime, Kurt had coached him through a song to audition for, and now he was up on stage, singing it for Coach Beiste, Miss Pilsbury, and Artie. The instant he was done they clapped and he glanced over at Kurt standing behind the curtains on the side who was giving him two ecstatic thumbs up.

"It says here you're auditioning for Bernardo?" Artie piped up.

Blaine nodded, "Or Officer Krupke."

"Would you read for Tony?"

Blaine's eyes immediately shot to Kurt who had noticeably tensed up and looked just aghast.

"No."

"No?"

Blaine snapped his head back towards Artie, "No. You deaf and crippled?"

Coach Beiste held up her hands, "Whoa there kid. No need to get snappy."

"I think it's a perfect reason to get snappy." Blaine took a step forward on the stage. "I said no. I'm here because Kurt asked me to be because he wants this production to have enough people to get off the ground. He wants this more than anyone, and HE should be Tony."

The three of them looked to each other, eyes wide but thoughtful. Blaine's hands had balled into fists without him realizing it and, once he did realize, he let his grip loosen. He looked to the side of the stage, seeing that Kurt had left.

"Ah... okay then Blaine. Thank you for the audition."

Blaine was already walking off the stage before he got that permission. He had to find Kurt. This had to be made right.



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