April 20, 2015, 7 p.m.
Citizen Erased: Chapter 8
E - Words: 2,605 - Last Updated: Apr 20, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Feb 14, 2015 - Updated: Feb 14, 2015 228 0 0 0 0
I survived camping with students for a week! Hurrah! Much thanks to the amazing and talented HT Elia for my cover art! Its so fetch!
If Kurt had know that taking Blaine to see Sebastian would have made him so compliant, he would have done it earlier. The week following Blaine's visit had seen him pull away from demanding to know when and if he'd be free, fighting Kurt on every turn, and trying to escape.
Still, it also had taken all the life out of Blaine. He barely spoke, barely ate, and when Kurt checked the cameras set up in the house while he was out, all he saw was Blaine either sleeping or looking out the window. It struck Kurt that he didn't precisely know how Pets must have spent their time during the day. Kurt had already reassigned the maid to take care of his office instead of his home since Blaine had begun taking care of any messes that arose, and had also begun to take care of the meals as well without any prompting, but aside from those two things Blaine didn't seem to do anything else.
It also wasn't for lack of Kurt trying either. He had ordered in a variety of top sellers in books, made sure the televisions all had the biggest satellite package available, and, in looking at the courses Blaine had taken at NYADA, had brought in several instruments that he knew Blaine could play. It all sat untouched though, and he had been irked when he had shown it all to Blaine only to receive a blank stare in response. What more could he possibly hope for?
So, when one of his assistants reminded him that a new play was about to open, Kurt made sure he had tickets. For years now he had been buying up tickets on and off Broadway, supporting it indirectly as he use the tickets to give as gifts to his clients, suggesting they take their wives. Occasionally he would go to shows as well, though he entrusted his guards to make sure no one else knew that. It was one thing to take a wife to a show to try and get into her pants and win over her good graces, it was another to go alone just because you enjoyed the arts.
On Saturday, after eating the omelette Blaine had prepared and watching Blaine pick at his own, Kurt announced his intentions.
“We're going out tonight. Wear the navy suit I bought you.”
He expected Blaine to argue, to demand to know more, but all Kurt got instead was a quiet mumble of “Okay.”
Inside of himself he sighed, and grew frustrated with the lacking response. It wasn't that he wanted Blaine to argue or fight him on it, nor did he expect Blaine to be excited given the lukewarm behaviour he had been witnessing all week, but he expected… something.
He wasn't even sure what.
Kurt figured he had also been more than kind. He hadn't gone and raped Blaine like so many pet owners did to their pets upon getting them. He had left whatever virtues Blaine had intact out of respect for him. It didn't mean it was easy for him though. Forced to be in Blaine's quiet company so much had stirred up old fantasies and, a couple times that past week, Kurt had procured the services of local escorts - ensuring they both had dark curly hair and small frames that made it easy for him to imagine that he had Blaine between his legs bobbing up and down and not some street whore. It took the edge off of being someone he so desperately wanted but had mentally put up on some unattainable pedestal. Blaine represented so much of what he wanted, both personally and romantically, or at least Kurt thought he did, and yet Kurt wasn't the Kurt that would have been compatible with the man he was coexisting with in his home. He had grown out of that Kurt and into something new and despicable that wasn't parallel to what Blaine was.
Even though Kurt had nothing to do that day, he still slipped out under the guise of having meetings and appointments to keep to. Being in the apartment with Blaine was like a constant awkward silence, and given that he had reacted in such a lackluster way to Kurt's announcement made it especially difficult to fathom being around him all day. So Kurt spent the day shopping, playing cards at one of the casino's he was invested in, and having his chauffeur drive him randomly through the city while he read in the back of the car. For the first time in a long time he was pursuing a book on something other than finances, psychology in fact. He needed to figure out how to manage Blaine and while the book was interesting, it wasnt exactly what he thought it would be. Unfortunately he had seen no books in the store titled along the lines of How to Make Your Human Pet Happy.
He returned to the apartment at seven, smelling the food before he saw it in the kitchen. Blaine had made supper, and a plate had been covered for him upon his return. It was a sweet gesture, one that certainly wasnt lost on Kurt as to its significance. No matter how this transition in Blaines life was affecting him, he still seemed to care about those around him, even if that person was keeping him captive.
Kurt ate the food cold, and his stomach made a satisfied gurgle as it worked on digesting it, before he went upstairs where he found Blaine napping on the bed, in his suit, and looking every bit as adorable as he had so many years ago in his Dalton blazer. Kurt wished he could just wrap his arms around him, snuggle the boy awake, and have Blaine smile at him like he once had, but this wasnt then, and the dynamics of their relation werent such that Kurt wasnt sure he wouldnt get kicked for trying to give Blaine affection. Instead, he set down the bouquet of roses he had bought on the bedside table and gently called for Blaine to wake up.
Ever since he had brought Blaine to his bed, Kurt had taken pleasure in watching him sleep - particularly in the early mornings when he was up to get ready for work and Blaine was still sleeping soundly. In those moments, Blaine looked unfettered and peaceful, like the boy he had once met - so beautiful and sweet.
“Mmm… sorry….” Blaine muttered as he pushed himself up into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes, “I only meant to lay down for a minute….”
Kurt allowed himself a small smirk as he looked at where Blaine's jacket was creased. Not badly enough to be an issue, but enough for Kurt to know that Blaine had been laying down for much longer than a minute. “It's alright. Thanks for dinner… I thought we'd grab a dessert on our way out.”
Blaine's eyes had spotted the flowers set near him, and, ever so tentatively, he reached out to touch the petals of the closest rose as if he wasn't really sure they were there. “Are these…?”
“For you.” Kurt said, firming up his voice as he then gestured to the door, “We'll put them in water on the way out.”
Blaine nodded, picking up the bouquet and looking down at them curiously. Had he ever been bought some Kurt wondered as they stepped down the stairs and he watched Blaine find a large glass which he filled with water before setting the flowers in and arranging them so none of them put too much weight on the others. It was the first time Kurt had bought anyone flowers, and while he balked a little at how overpriced they were, especially since they were just plants, he had spared no expense.
He didn't receive thanks though, just a nod that Blaine was ready to continue as the flowers were set on the counter closest to the window, and Kurt led the way out of the apartment and into the elevator where the silent treatment continued. They were flanked by one of Kurt's guards in the lobby, who joined them in the limousine for a similarly quiet ride.
It was his guard whom Kurt sent to fetch cheesecake from one of the smaller shops in Manhattan that was renowned for its classic recipe, and while the guard left, Kurt attempted conversation.
“I'm sure you've seen lots of plays during your time at NYADA.”
“Yeah.” was the simple reply. No elaboration on what he had seen and when, and not even a show of excitement at how Kurt had hinted at their intended destination. Kurt would think a student of NYADA would gush over getting to go to a production.
They ate their cheesecake in silence, and despite the loud stomach growling coming from Blaine's seat, the boy only picked at his cheesecake like he picked at everything. Kurt reminded himself not to be bothered by it. Perhaps Blaine was just reducing his caloric intake since he was so inactive at home and didn't want to gain weight.
Still though, Blaine showed no more enthusiasm when the limo pulled up to the one of the more prestigious theaters, and less still when he was escorted alongside Kurt to the private box seats Kurt had reserved.
Kurt had been sure to pick a musical, and something light hearted for Blaine's benefit, and even though he himself loved theater, Kurt instead spent most of the evening watching Blaine. At first Blaine continued to appear indifferent, but, as the songs began and the drama unfolded onstage, his mask came off. He leaned forward, watching the actors and mouthing along with some of the songs, and though the play had a happy ending, Blaine teared up as the actors appeared for their curtain calls and clapped enthusiastically for each and every one of them.
Kurt waited until Blaine had collected himself before leading him down the back hallway, and introducing him to the actors. It was partially a test, to see if Blaine would try to run, but also done out of the knowledge that it might be special to Blaine. Blaine didn't disappoint him either, gushing over the well known Broadway stars and getting autographed headshots from each of them after telling them all how much he hoped to be doing what they were one day.
Perhaps it had been a mistake to bring Blaine to this after all. It had reminded him of what he wouldn't be able to do.
Still, Kurt reveled in the grinning and laughter that Blaine gave off whenever he spoke to one of the performers, and how he beamed at each of the pictures presented to him. Maybe something could be salvaged from the evening, maybe Kurt could make him happy.
The ride home was quiet, and Kurt let himself stare at Blaine as he looked over the faces of the actor, and reread the program he had taken with him. When they got back to the apartment, and the guard left them at the elevator, Kurt caught Blaine peeking towards him and looking away. He saw how Blaine nervously rubbed over his own fingers, and how he pulled his lower lip into his mouth to nibble over it. Blaine had something to say.
“Out with it then.” Kurt finally huffed as they walked back into the suite and the door closed up behind them automatically.
“I want to go back to NYADA in the fall.”
Kurt took in a breath, reaching for his pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket. He had managed to go the whole evening without them, but now he felt like he was on the cusp of an uncomfortable conversation and knew he would need something to take the edge off. “No.”
“There has to be a way I can pay you back by then.”
“There isn't.”
“What if you had me taken and brought back there every day? You're gone during the day anyhow… you don't need me here.”
“I can't trust you like that.”
“Please… please…. I need it… I need to be on stage…”
“You know how many people come to this city to go on stage and how many don't make it?” Kurt grunted, flicking his lighter and inwardly cursing at it when it took a few strikes for it to fire up. “You've got a better chance of winning the lottery.”
“But I need to try.”
“You're lucky to have a roof over your head and to be getting taken care of.”
“But it's not what I want!” Blaine spat out, walking around in front of Kurt so Kurt was faced to look at him. “I would rather be living out of a box and struggling to make ends meet if it meant I could follow my dreams!”
“You're naive then. Talk to a homeless person and see how much they enjoy it.” Kurt grumbled. This was not how he had hoped the night would end.
“Maybe I am naive… but… please.”
“No.”
“Sleep with me.”
The cigarette that had been balanced on Kurt's lower lip fell to the group as his mouth fell open and he looked at Blaine wide eyed. Thankfully he hadn't been able to light it just yet, so there was no holes being burnt into the carpet, but there was a hole being burnt into Kurt's head from Blaine's words, as if he had something missing through the center of it. The conversation had taken a very odd turn and Kurt felt like he had missed something.
“A prostitute makes what…? I can… you can… I can pay you back that way can't I?”
Blaine's voice wavered as he spoke, and his eyes darted away with his uncomfortableness. “Just… have sex with me… as much as you want. I'll do anything to be free. Please.”
“You told me last week you wouldn't do that.” Kurt grunted out, kneeling down to pick up his dropped cigarette. “... and quite frankly I'm not interested in screwing someone who doesn't really want it. I'm not exactly into rape fantasy.”
“It won't be that. Please. I'll do anything.”
Kurt couldn't exactly be accused of thinking clearly then. The image of Blaine below him, on him, against him, was one that had permeated his fantasies now for years, and to finally make it a reality had been a dream until this point. Logically, he knew it was a stupid agreement, and since he had all the power in their relationship, it wasn't something he should have even considered. Voice of colleagues inside of him suggested agreeing and then recanting, while others chastised him for even stopping to think when it came to someone offering their body up.
But Kurt did delay answering, trying to juggle his desire and the want to keep Blaine forever if he could. Agreeing meant that at some point he'd have to give Blaine up, disagreeing meant that… well, it meant that the tightness that had immediately taken over his pants would have to be taken care of on his own.
Ultimately though, it wasn't his logic or his desire that made the choice. It was the memory of a young boy watching a performance of Teenage Dream and his heart fluttering with hope that let him decide. It was that boy in him, that silly kid that had wanted nothing more than a place to fit in and to be accepted. That boy, that saw in Blaine a place to be safe.
“Okay.”